Flutterdash: The sequel

by tallon567

A perfect night! gone horribly wrong..

Chapter 2: A perfect night… gone horribly wrong
“SURPRISE!!!!!” the pink pony said. A few thoughts ran through Fluttershys mind when she opened the door
1. How did Pinkie know about the race?
2. Will this interfere with her plans of the night?
And finally..
3. How did Pinkie get the keys to the cottage?
Fluttershy tried to do her best fake smile, because she was really looking forward to that cuddle session…
“Oh Pinkie, this is wonderful, but.. what’s the party for?” Fluttershy said, trying not to show her disappointment.
“Weeellll, I thought, since you two didn’t get a REAL marriage party, I choose now!”
Rainbow Dash looked at Pinkie, and the guests… wait… there were no guests.. it was just her.
“Ermm, Pinkie.. where are the rest of the guests” Dash said, she was just as confused as Fluttershy.
“Umm, well no one else thought this was a good idea, so I thought it could just be us three!” Pinkie said, Dash just shook her head, she was dumbfounded, she knew Pinkie was crazy and at times, just plain annoying, but this was a new low on irritating.
“Sorry Pinkie, but we both had a long day and wanted to have a quiet day. Thanks anyway though…” Fluttershy said, hoping it wouldn’t offend the pony. Pinkie looked at them both, then finally said:
“That’s ok! Maybe tomorrow? Cause maybe then we can get everyone in ponyville to come!! That would be amazing!”
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash sighed, they were glad there were no hard feelings, Pinkie left the cottage leaving the couple alone. Fluttershy looked to Rainbow Dash and grinned. “I have a perfect night planned Dashie, first we can go to the lake and fly around like we did in flight school, than I got reservations to the Purple Hoof! I also rented “Bridesmares” from Ponyflix!” Dash hadn’t seen Fluttershy that excited in a long time; she grinned and hugged Fluttershy close to her
“That sounds…. Amazing fluttershy, I’m so excited!”
She pulled Fluttershy in for a long passionate kiss. She’s never had a REAL romantic evening with Dash, even though their married... they didn’t ACTUALLY date for that long, but since they were in love for so long, it didn’t make a difference to them.
“So!” Dash said excitingly.
“What’s first on our list?” Fluttershy smiled one of the biggest smiles Dash has ever seen.
“Well… our reservations aren’t until 6:00 and its only 4:30, so I say we go flying first!” They walked outside and took flight to the everfree lake. The flight there was silent, both pegusi were thinking about their past, the horrifying things that happened along the way, after about a 10 minute flight, they finally arrived at the everfree lake. They touched down to rest before taking flight again. Fluttershy looked at Rainbow Dash lovingly. “Remember when we used to come here when you were training me to fly?” she said getting closer to Dash, nuzzling her. “How could forget? I taught you so well, and even though you’re not the greatest flier, you were taught by the best! ME!” she then took flight fast, but not too fast so Fluttershy could still catch up, they began chasing each other around the lake. “cmon Flutters! You can catch me, just try!” this is what they usually did in, what they called it “Dash and Flutters flight training” and whenever Fluttershy caught Rainbow Dash she would move up a rank. And every time Rainbow Dash went faster, and Fluttershy still caught her. Fluttershy tackled Dash into the lake (wow… she’s really in a tackling mood today eh?) they dragged themselves out of the water, soaking wet from head to hoof. Laughing and kissing, they lay against a tree and looked at Celestias beautiful sunset. “This day is great, and its not even half over yet!” Rainbow Dash said as she got up shaking off the excess water
“SO!” Dash said picking Fluttershy up off the tree and setting her on the grass. “its 5:50, we should get going to the purple hoof, I think we have time to go home and put some nicer cloths on, if we fly fast, so lets get going!” with that. Dash took Fluttershys arm and they took flight towards they’re home. Upon their arrival they noticed something was wrong. “Wait…is the front door….open?” Rainbow Dash said slowly walking towards the open door, she peeked inside and immediately ran back, quickly and quietly “Fluttershy, stay here. Don’t. Move. The colt…he’s…he’s alive…” Fluttershys eyes went wide and she backed up into the trees to hide, she remembered all he did to her in the past and was never scared of anything more than him. Rainbow Dash grabbed a shovel for protection and walked inside the dark house. He was standing over…something, it was dark and dash couldn’t see, and he didn’t notice her. She got close enough to see what he was standing over, it was a picture? Of Fluttershy? He was looking at it and laughing but it was some sort of hysterical laughter. He turned around and pulled a knife on Rainbow Dash. “YOU, you almost killed me! You’re gonna pay, I’ll kill you, I’ll torture you…b-both of you, where is she? The yellow one?” his eyes were insane, he was looking around everywhere Dash was terrified but she kept her cool. He had scars on his arm and his eye from where she stabbed him a few months earlier. It’s going to take a lot more than that to kill him, but how? Dash didn’t own any weapons. Then she remembered, the crowbar she kept under her and Fluttershys bed, she stepped slowly, then ran towards her bedroom and grabbed the crowbar from underneath the bed she held it out “don’t take a step closer, you freak!” she said, she saw Fluttershy peek in from outside, so did the maniac, he grinned “Fluttershy? It’s been a while “ he walked towards her Dash watched him, he stepped slowly, and quietly. “Not a step closer, not her. Come after me. I can take your little knife!” he laughed and turned around and sprinted towards the blue mare, she needed to time this correctly. “Fluttershy….” Dash said
“..y.yes?”
“close your eyes, you don’t want to see this”
Fluttershy, tears welling up in her eyes, closed them the maniac got closer and closer every second, Dash lifted the crowbar above her head, and swiftly swung at his head, he let out a sharp yell and fell to the ground, a small pool of blood forming around his head, she was furious, he broke into their house, for the THIRD time now, tried to kill both of them, she hated every little bit of him, and she let out all her anger, wailing on the colt that was lying on the ground, after she was done, all that was left was a bag of flesh. Dash was quick to call the cops. She ran outside to Fluttershy.
“RAINBOW DASH! Ohmygoodnessareyouokayimsoworriedandscared!” Dash hugged Fluttershy close to her “I’m ok Fluttershy, the cops are on their way, and I made sure that guy was dead” Fluttershy looked at her with some sense of disappointment “you..you killed him?” She said
“I had to Fluttershy, he would’ve killed both of us” Dash said, she kissed Fluttershy on the four head and after a while of waiting, the cops showed up and cleaned up the bloody mess in Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash’s room. “This colt was a runaway criminal from Canterlot, he tortured a family there, we still haven’t found them yet, it’s a good thing you acted fast. You both wouldn’t have survived that.
“Thank you” was the only thing Dash could think to say, the cops left and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy went in the house “it’s already 7:00,we missed our reservations, I’m sorry Fluttershy….”
Fluttershy drew Rainbow Dash close to her. “Its ok.. at least we’re both here, and safe…” and with that the two watched the Maretrix the rest of the night. “Oh my goodness… that was a lot more violent than I thought….” Fluttershy said as the credits began to role. “heh…well it was still good though” Dash said getting up off the couch and turning off the television. I say we turn in for the night, its already 12:00 (a five hour movie? O_o) Fluttershy got up and they both walked towards their bedroom. They lay together, as they usually do. “This night was…. Eventful” Dash said chuckling a bit “heh…yeah….goodnight Rainbow Dash, I love you”
“I love you too Fluttershy” and with that they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Authors note: Im SO SORRY for the long delay, tonight im working hard on chapter 3, and wont take as long!

Comments

[lillytheomegawolf]

Hmmmm... I like your story. Theres a lot of kissing. A tonne more than in my Flutterdash fics. But... thats ok... you made it work. They are so sweet together and you captured it nicely.

The night was... eventful. Of courese it would be RD who protects Fluttershy. Crowbar LOL. There certanly are some interesting additions to the MLP world here. I'll watch for the next chapter. I have no idea where you are going with this but its nice having a flutterdash fic set later on in life like this.
You have still earned the thumbs up I gave this fic. Keep up the good (but a little brutal) work!

The story is packing a mega punch! Keep it up.

[CyberCommand]

893026I love this story keep up the good work

[tallon567]

920870 Thanks! I stayed up til 4:30 AM writing this (I slacked off, WAY TOO MUCH) but now thats it done im happy with it
(and yes the crowbar was a HL2 shoutout)

[Phazon]

The story itself isn't bad , but it could use some formatting. First, you need to distinguish the paragraphs more effectively. I prefer adding an extra space in between paragraphs, but a simple indent is perfectly acceptable. Second, only one character should be speaking in any given paragraph. This will create a lot more paragraphs, but it makes things less confusing and more readable. You may have heard all this from previous comments, but please, take it from someone who's read a lot of scientific journal articles. Trying to read homogenous blocks of text is nauseating. And to further express that last point, here are some emoticons. The facehoof is actually a headache.