Unspoken Lands

by Nanrite

Chapter 6: The Light

Velvet's horn had been glowing for the past hour, fixated on a simple healing spell once used on Twilight and Shining when they would get hurt many years ago.

"Will this work, Twi?" Lily asked worriedly.

"I don't know... it's not a spell used for injuries like this. Just minor stuff." Velvet replied. Velvet turned to Silver, who had been quiet since they retreated out of the canyon and back into the fields. "Silver?"

He turned and looked at her. "What?"

"What should we do next?"

Silver looked at Ebony. Velvet saw something in him she hadn't seen before. Before she could think on it more, Silver spoke up.

"We'll camp for the night. Mrs. Spring will take watch the first two hours, then Mrs. Velvet, then I will finish. We will start whenever you're ready, Mrs. Velvet."

Velvet looked back to Ebony, Velvet's spell still doing its best to heal her. She and the two others knew the spell was just a basic one. Still, it was all they had. Their medical supplies had already been used to just keep Ebony stable when they ran. They all feared that, come morning, their group would be down one member. After 30 long minutes of healing, Velvet's horn finally stopped glowing. She turned to Silver, who turned to Lily.

"We're going to rest, Mrs. Spring. Keep a sharp eye." Silver ordered. Lily nodded. Velvet looked down to Ebony again. She felt like she had failed… because her spells weren't as strong as they once were, Ebony would...
“No… Ebony is tough!” she quietly tried to convince herself.

"Hey Twi... Twi!" Velvet slowly woke up and looked to Lily. "Twi, something is out there..." Velvet's blood ran ice cold as she slowly turned from Lily and peered deep into the darkness surrounding them. "Silver, wake up," Lily ordered. The three stood around Ebony, all scanning the abyss surrounding them. Silver and Velvet's horns began glowing, ready to blast their attacker, or attackers, with magic.

"Everypony ready?" Silver whispered.
Lily quickly picked up Ebony's sword with her mouth. "Ready," Lily stated.
Silver turned to Velvet and she nodded to him. Silver finally turned back to the darkness; he thought for a moment that the darkness itself was their attacker. With each passing second it seemed to grow closer to them. A minute passed and the three ponies still stood there, guarding their injured teammate. Silver began to put his guard down when all of a sudden a distant light appeared in the darkness. "Look!" he whispered. Velvet and Lily turned toward the light.

"Is... Is it getting closer?" Velvet asked. Everypony was silent but after a few seconds it was clear the light was moving straight for them.

"Stay on guard, defend Ebony, I am not losing anypony!" Silver ordered, still trying his hardest to whisper. The light moved closer and closer, it was closing in. 30 feet, 25, 20, 15... There was a loud scream from Lily. Velvet and Silver quickly turned from the light and saw their friend being pulled away.

"Lily!!" Velvet screamed. Silver blindly fired a magical blast into the shadows but missed the attacker. Out of the corner of Velvet's eye she saw Ebony quickly dragged away into the void. Silver screamed and ran after her. "Silver don't!!" Velvet protested, but was too late. She could hear his hooves pounding across the field, speeding after Ebony's attacker. Then nothing. Velvet looked around in terror; she was alone.

Velvet began to panic and just ran, running as fast as her hooves could take her. She didn't know where she was going, but surely anywhere was better than there. Suddenly, she felt something catch her hoof. She fell, face first into the ground. Her ears began ringing and her vision went blurry. Just before she lost consciousness, she saw the light from before, closing in on her.

Comments

[Czar_Yoshi]

Well, this is interesting. Drawing inspiration from Mystery Dungeon, perhaps? I always like stories about Twilight Velvet being an active protagonist... though why she's putting up with Silver when she's both putting herself in danger and is one of the best-connected ponies in the world is a little mystifying.

Mechanically, it's pretty sound, especially for a first story. I do advise double-spacing your paragraphs, though. It makes it much easier to tell if you've missed an indent anywhere and just looks good with fimfiction's interface. Also don't forget to include commas before ponies' names when they're being addressed in dialogue.

You could probably also spend a little more time describing stuff- it's pretty fast-paced. But given the update speed, I imagine you're mostly concerned with keeping the story moving? Because that's completely forgivable. Nice work so far; I'm eager to see where this goes!

[Nanrite]

8055642 Thanks man, I'm really glad to be getting feedback and I'm especially glad I'm getting positive feedback. Next chapter is on the way ^^