Clockwork has admired his older brother Playthrough for as long as he can remember but as they grew older that admiration became something else. During a visit to his brother's house things get steamy in the shower.
I'll give you a like, but I noticed some spelling issues here and there, nothing to bad, just some 'is's' turned into ifs, and so on, minor typing mistakes, it happens, I noticed it more around the middle, and some words were missing.
Some won't be as forgiving, but it was a nice read for me, since I'm not the best with writing.
Overall, it was a really fun read. As Sparks said, I spotted a few mistakes, but I can't remember where any of them are. The writing in some parts seemed really stiff as well, but it's not too big of a deal. The pacing at the beginning could definitely use some work, but as you progressed through the story, it became more natural. I mean, it was still stiff in a few places, like I said, but despite all that, it was a very enjoyable read. I liked it.
I'd give a better review if I was any good at reviewing things. I'm not. Anyway, keep it up!
I'll give you a like, but I noticed some spelling issues here and there, nothing to bad, just some 'is's' turned into ifs, and so on, minor typing mistakes, it happens, I noticed it more around the middle, and some words were missing.
Some won't be as forgiving, but it was a nice read for me, since I'm not the best with writing.
Overall, it was a really fun read. As Sparks said, I spotted a few mistakes, but I can't remember where any of them are. The writing in some parts seemed really stiff as well, but it's not too big of a deal. The pacing at the beginning could definitely use some work, but as you progressed through the story, it became more natural. I mean, it was still stiff in a few places, like I said, but despite all that, it was a very enjoyable read. I liked it.
I'd give a better review if I was any good at reviewing things. I'm not. Anyway, keep it up!
7608764 Thank you for the feedback. I'll go back through and correct what I can find later.
7608812 I'll do my best to go back and fix it. thanks for the feedback.
Thumb up because the story was good. Some mechanical issues, but that's what revision is for. On to the next chapter!
the story was great. im no publisher, but i have to say this would be a great adult book for those people who love MLP R.
please tell me theres a video for this. or something like that.
im weird.
11073873
Video, like an animation? If so, then no.