Great story so far. It has a lot of potential, I feel, because there really are not a lot of Doom/MLP crossovers with the actual Doomguy so big points in my book.
This one especially takes an interesting approach that could really set itself apart from others. The tome describing the Doom Slayer, the tomb, and the actual physical manifestation in a Doom Slayer testament could be good selling points. So definitely keep heading in that direction.
A few issues that need to be pointed out are some issues with grammar and spelling. Not huge issues but enough to break the flow. Luckily there are a few groups on this website that will gladly proofread it for you and catch most if not all of the mistakes. Also try to be more descriptive about the characters. I wouldn't have known they were anthro until you said "hands." Describe what the characters are wearing and/or the setting that allows your reader to paint a mental picture of the character. Such as "As twilight descended the staircase and the encroaching darkness began to swallow her like a giant maw, she couldn't help but bring her hands up close to her chest and rub them together, all the while biting her lip nervously. Sweat began forming on her next dripping down to the fabric of the pink bow and ribbon that was the collar of the yellow sun dress that was gifted to by her dear friend Rarity for her birthday." Or something along those lines.
But other than that keep up the good work and I can't wait to read the next chapter.
7578731 Thank you for your input on my story and I know I have a little trouble in the past about the characters dialogue and how they will act to each other so I'm spending extra time on that and trying put more voice in it. To answer your last question. Humans are extinct and is the race before ponys came to be. I haven't decided yet on how he will play out as a pony yet.
I mean it really was like something out of Daring Doo for crying out loud. (...) On the other hand, it also was a little creepy
Yeah, that's the thing about being Daring Do. On the one hand, your entire life is basically an action-filled episode of Cool McAwesome. On the other... dealing with shit like this day-in, day-out.
It was as out of place as a college level biology book in the foals section in a library for Luna's sake!
... um, actually, that wouldn't be that out of place... if you know what I'm saying... ;]
i love it
Great story so far. It has a lot of potential, I feel, because there really are not a lot of Doom/MLP crossovers with the actual Doomguy so big points in my book.
This one especially takes an interesting approach that could really set itself apart from others. The tome describing the Doom Slayer, the tomb, and the actual physical manifestation in a Doom Slayer testament could be good selling points. So definitely keep heading in that direction.
A few issues that need to be pointed out are some issues with grammar and spelling. Not huge issues but enough to break the flow. Luckily there are a few groups on this website that will gladly proofread it for you and catch most if not all of the mistakes. Also try to be more descriptive about the characters. I wouldn't have known they were anthro until you said "hands." Describe what the characters are wearing and/or the setting that allows your reader to paint a mental picture of the character. Such as "As twilight descended the staircase and the encroaching darkness began to swallow her like a giant maw, she couldn't help but bring her hands up close to her chest and rub them together, all the while biting her lip nervously. Sweat began forming on her next dripping down to the fabric of the pink bow and ribbon that was the collar of the yellow sun dress that was gifted to by her dear friend Rarity for her birthday." Or something along those lines.
But other than that keep up the good work and I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Also quick question is the Doom Slayer human?
7578731 Thank you for your input on my story and I know I have a little trouble in the past about the characters dialogue and how they will act to each other so I'm spending extra time on that and trying put more voice in it.
To answer your last question. Humans are extinct and is the race before ponys came to be. I haven't decided yet on how he will play out as a pony yet.
HOLY SHI-- I love what your doing with this story keep er goin
Did the Mane 6 end up in Hell?
Oh hey.
I found this glorious story again.
Yeah, that's the thing about being Daring Do. On the one hand, your entire life is basically an action-filled episode of Cool McAwesome. On the other... dealing with shit like this day-in, day-out.
... um, actually, that wouldn't be that out of place... if you know what I'm saying... ;]
YAY! It's an interactive storybook! :D