Tale of the Face Puncher

by Magenta Gleam

Punch Before You Sleep

Punch Before you Sleep

A loud clap of thunder woke me from my precious sleep and the slamming of the library door that followed only served to reinforce the extrication from my sleep. I opened my eyes to see three of the bloody main characters of this stupid world standing in front of me.

“Oi Fleshlight Spankle. What are Background Horse and White Supremacy doing here?” I yelled at the infuriating mare.

“My friends are here. In MY HOME because I invited them. Not like you who just decided to take over my couch sixteen hours a day.” She said while levelling a glare at me.

I promptly walked up to the bitch who thought she could impose her will on me and my ownership of said couch. Immediately I thrust a fist into her disrespectful face, catapulting her into a nearby wall that was already inlaid with a crater shaped like a tiny lizard thing.

“This is my couch!” I shouted as the mare slowly pulled herself back onto her hooves and looked back to her friends who had somehow not noticed my great feat of manly violence.

“Uh, do be a polite house guest and go wash up please, won't you?” An annoying overly cultured voice spoke from the other side of room. Prompting Background Horse to grumble under her breath before going outside.

I ignored the two mares inside as I watched the earth pony trying to clean her hooves with a hose in her mouth and laughed when she inevitably sprayed herself in the face. When she came back inside I decided to make my move to solve the obvious problem. One that Book Horse had not noticed due to being a complete spaz.

“Hey Trailer Trash, Marshmellow. Come over here.” I ordered the two mares with a firm voice.

Against their own wills they walked up to me. Obviously they couldn’t help but follow my orders due to my natural magnetism. When they were standing directly in front of me I raised a fist and pointed it at them.

“Now!” I shouted while closing my eyes. “You two are going to go on some stupid argument because you are apparently so damn different. Well you’re bloody well not. You’re two ponies who for your own reasons live your lives in different ways, but you know what? You’re still bloody ponies living life as best as you can.”

When I opened them I saw the two ponies looking at each other guiltily.

“He’s right Applejack, we are just acting silly.” Rarity said to her orange friend.

“Yeah he is. I’m sorry, Sugarc-” I cut her words off with a punch to the face that was soon mirrored on the white one.

“Now fucking keep it quiet!” I yelled before taking my place back on MY couch and closing my eyes.

Comments

[Scholar_of_the_Dream]

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