One of the necessary traits required by any Wonderbolts Captain is the ability to keep cool and maintain a level head in the face of any news, no matter how surprising or gut-wrenching. Ponies of that calibre were expected hold their emotions back so that rational thought could prevail.
Spitfire sucked in a breath and held it in her chest. She fought against her rising temper, trying to marshal her thoughts into order. She was a Wonderbolt Captain. Calmness, clarity of thought, and a steady hoof were only to be expected.
“What do you mean I’m stuck in Ponyville?!”
All around her, ponies winced. Rapidfire shrunk down, making himself as small as possible, while Blaze and Fleetfoot pinned their ears back and refused to meet her eyes. Even Soarin took a step back at the lashing fire that accented her voice like a whip.
“Well, just that, Spits,” Soarin said, looking to the side. “You’re not being discharged anytime soon.”
Resisting the urge to bare her teeth, Spitfire focused her glare on her Lieutenant. “And you were planning on telling me when?”
Soarin flinched. As close as they may be, when Spitfire meant it, she could still instill the fear of Tartarus in her ponies. He looked over to the others, his teammates, for help.
“It’s not that we weren’t going to tell you, Sis,” Blaze started, biting her lip and flicking her tail over Fleetfoot's. “We just weren’t sure how.”
“We figured you were going to freak out no matter what we did,” Fleetfoot added, ducking her head as Spitfire shifted her blazing eyes towards her. “And we didn’t want you to hurt yourself more or something by giving you a heart attack.”
“We’re sorry, Spits.” Rapidfire swallowed, shifting so that Soarin stood between him and Spitfire. “But your wings are clipped. You’re stuck here.”
“The hay I am! It’s one thing to be grounded, but there’s no way I’m sitting here while the rest of you try to finish the tour without me!” Growling, Spitfire pushed herself up, her healthy wing threatening to unfurl.
Or, at least she tried to. The second her hooves hit the mattress, a stronger hoof pressed down on her shoulder and pinned her back to the bed.
“Wha—hey!” Spitfire struggled, but as tired as she was her legs didn’t want to cooperate. The best she managed was a wiggle. “Let me go! If you think these featherheads will last a week without me, then you’ve got no idea what kind of foals I have to work with! I need to be there!”
“What you need is rest,” Redheart said, her hoof holding firm. Her tone was rigid, brokering no argument and her piercing blue eyes were just as unyielding. With just one sentence and that look, she doused the indignated fire fueling Spitfire's words. “And if you keep this up, then you’ll only prolong your recovery time.”
“But—but the routine!” Spitfire ceased her struggles and felt her ears pin back. The longer she stared into those brilliant eyes, the more she felt the fight seep out of her body. Fatigue settled in its wake as Redheart’s hoof eased her back down. “Who’re they going to get to replace me and train to do my part?”
What looked like a coy grin flickered across Redheart’s face for a second or two. “I’ll have to ask your teammates to confirm, but I believe one of my regular patients was recently accepted to the Wonderbolt reserves.”
“That’s right,” Soarin said, stepping into sight over the nurse’s shoulder. He chanced a look at Spitfire and met her gaze with a pained smile. “After I talked with Nurse Redheart, the Doc, and Princess Twilight about it, I went and found Rainbow Dash. It wasn’t hard; she was in the waiting room with the rest of the team.”
“The rookie?” Spitfire’s brows knit. “I—yeah, good call on that one, but who gave you the authority to make that decision without talking to me first?”
“We may not act like it all the time, but we are technically a branch of the military, Spits. With you out of commission, I take over.” His shoulders rolled as he sighed. “I hated signing off on benching you to Ponyville, but I needed to. If we’re getting you back, we can’t settle for anything less than you at your best, which means staying here to get better.”
“Lieutenant Soarin is right, Spitfire,” Redheart said with a small smile to the stallion. “Doctor Horse will tell you the same. Right now, it’s best that you stay here and don’t move around too much.” Her hoof brushed down Spitfire’s shoulder, a comforting gesture that threatened to flutter her feathers. “All the moving around and jostling of a train would likely make for complications.”
Moving cautiously, the rest of her friends drew in closer around her. “If you’re really looking for somepony to blame,” Fleetfoot said, hazarding a cheeky grin, “then blame Princess Twilight. She pretty much ordered that you stay here until you’re all patched up.”
Spitfire snorted. “Gee, thanks, Princess.”
“She just has your best interests at heart, Captain.” Redheart’s smile carried into her voice as she backed off to let the others file in around the bed. “Twilight actually feels personally responsible for your crash in a way. She wants to do anything and everything in her power to help in your recovery.”
Spitfire frowned. “That’s ridiculous. None of what happened was her fault.”
“That’s not the way she sees it.” An empathetic warmth radiated off of Redheart as she trotted around to the foot of the bed. “She, like your team, is worried about you. They all want what’s best for you, which is why they all agree that you need to stay here and get healthy. And,” she added, looking at the clock on the wall, “it’s why they’ll leave now to let you get your rest.”
A murmuring of agreement followed from the four pegasi. With tired, sympathetic smiles they all took turns wishing Spitfire a good night. Before they left, Rapidfire and Blaze each gently hugged their sister.
“We’ll be back in the morning to say goodbye,” Rapidfire said, rubbing her cheek to Spitfire’s. “I heard Misty went out to buy a big ‘Get Well’ card today. There might also be cake.”
Redheart cleared her throat and gave a solemn shake of her head.
“Okay, no cake, but definitely a card.”
Resting a hoof on his shoulder, Soarin steered Rapidfire away from Spitfire’s bed, nodding his head as he passed. “Come on, Rapid. Let Spits get some sleep and let’s get you back to the hotel before you fall asleep on your hooves.”
As they left, Blaze took her turn, crawling halfway up the bed to carefully wrap her forelegs and wings around Spitfire’s shoulders. “Love you, Sis,” she whispered, sparing a kiss on the cheek. “Get better fast, okay? I don’t know how long Soarin and I can keep everypony in line.”
“We really are a bunch of foals sometimes.” Fleetfoot grinned as she let Blaze lean her weight on her side. “And foals need their momma hen. Got it?”
The corner of Spitfire’s mouth quirked upwards. “Yeah, I got it. Now get out of here. I’m pretty sure you owe Blazey-wazey there a favour.”
“One I’m all too happy to let her collect.” Waggling her ears, Fleetfoot winked and together she and Blaze followed the stallions out, leaving Spitfire alone in the room with Redheart.
Silence fell after the door clicked shut, save for the muffled murmur of activity in the halls. The palest beams of moonlight shone through the window and Spitfire’s gaze followed it to the night sky.
There was no place in Equestria that compared to Cloudsdale when it came to stargazing. With how high up the city was, far and away from the reaching skyscrapers of Manehattan and the snowcapped peaks of Canterlot, nothing came between the pegasi there and the stars. It was, for a lack of a better word, breathtaking.
Looking out to the night sky over Ponyville and the stars twinkling overhead, bathing the now sleepy town in the pale light of the night, Spitfire had to agree that it wasn’t so bad here, either. Her gaze drifted back to her room, following the same shaft of moonlight as it fell over Redheart’s form. Her white coat shone in the light and her bright blue eyes glittered even as she sighed and shook her head.
Not so bad indeed.
“I know it must be frustrating,” she said, turning back to Spitfire. “Believe me, I understand, but you’ll just have to sit tight for now until you’re healthy enough to travel.” The smile she gave her was a little sad. “Ponyville really isn’t that bad. I bet you’ll grow attached to it before long—most ponies who come through here do.”
Exhaling through her nose, Spitfire nodded her head. She tugged at her hospital gown and eyed the bandages wrapped around her foreleg. “Yeah, probably. Seems like a nice enough place.”
“That’s the spirit. You’ll find something to do while you’re here and the time will just fly by.”
A devilish thought took root and Spitfire couldn't help a smirk. “That a fact?”
An absentminded but polite smile spread over Redheart’s face as she busied herself with cleaning up the playing cards still strewn across the bed. “I’m sure something will catch your eye.”
When in Roam. “Maybe something already has.” Spitfire chuckled, eyes lidding. “Or somepony.”
Redheart paused halfway in packing up the cards. She turned her head, expression wary. “Oh?”
“Yeah.” Dropping her voice down to a huskier tone, Spitfire let her eyes rove over the nurse, from the pink bun holding her mane up to her glossy tail and everything inbetween. “If being stuck here means I get to spend more time with you, then I guess it can’t be all bad, now can it?”
A beat of silence passed. There was no way Redheart missed the way Spitfire eyed her up, and she would have to be deaf to have missed the tone in her voice.
Instead of the red dots she hoped to see colouring her cheeks or the telltale brushing of one’s bangs aside when flustered, Redheart just sighed. Spitfire blinked, her composure failing her for a minute.
Brows flattening, Redheart looked up at the ceiling as if sending a silent prayer. The look in her eye was one Spitfire had seen dozens of times at the Academy, usually when some hotshot cadet tried to brown nose their way up through the ranks. Instead of flustered or flattered, she was bored.
Well, what kind of Wonderbolt would she be if she didn't like a challenge?
Setting the deck of playing cards down, Redheart pursed her lips. “Those weren’t the painkillers talking last night, were they?”
Spitfire grinned a wicked little grin. “Sorry, hon. Well, actually, kind of but not really. Drunk mind, sober thoughts.” She chuckled, a low, raspy sound that sent previous lovers’ spines tingling and their knees knocking.
For this mare, though, there was no trembling. That was fine, that would make it all the sweeter when Spitfire had her wrapped up her in wings, squirming as she dotted her neck with kisses and nipped her way down her barrel. “Seriously, though, do they make all the nurses out here like you or am I really just that stupidly lucky?”
“Here we go.” Another sigh fell from Redheart’s mouth and she rubbed her forehead. A pained look washed over her features and she looked at Spitfire with an expression akin to dread. “You’re going to be like this the whole time that you’re here, aren’t you?”
Spitfire shrugged, her grin showing her teeth. “What can I say? You’re hot, and I’m only a pony.” A low sound came from the back of her throat, something between a hum and a purr. “And I can’t decide if you’d look better out of uniform. Think you can help me make up my mind?”
Redheart shook her head. The need for a strong drink was written over her features and echoed in her voice. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Pushing herself up, Spitfire cocked her head to the side. “Look, I’ll give you a couple of options here. You want me to shut my trap and for me to get out of your mane? It’s simple, you just have to put me on a train to Baltimare first thing in the morning with my team—”
“That isn’t happening.”
“—and free yourself of the opportunity of a lifetime,” Spitfire continued, smirking at the interruption. Puffing her chest out and fitting Redheart with the most coquettish look in her arsenal, she jerked her head to the window. “Or, you let me buy you dinner when I get out of here and show you how a Wonderbolt rides.”
Taking a deep breath, Redheart worked her lips into a thin line. Leveling Spitfire with a piercing glare that made her swagger falter, she closed the distance between them and pushed her flat on her back with a firm shove of her hoof. Not with enough force to bring her any harm, but enough to make the message clear: ‘sit down and shut up.’
It was a tactic Spitfire herself had used dozens of times, but one she hadn’t been on the receiving end of it since her days as the team rookie. With her sight dominated by a pair of burning, blue eyes and that hoof’s presence steady on her chest, she found her mouth a little dry.
“That isn’t happening, either,” Redheart said, her tone firm and uncompromising. “What is going to happen is that you’re going to lie here like a good patient, quit running your mouth, and let me treat you, or else I’ll dose you with enough sedatives to knock out a herd of buffalo.”
Spitfire tried to wet her lips and swallowed against a small lump in her throat. The commanding tone of Redheart’s voice left her at a loss for words as her tail swished under her thin blanket.
“Am I being perfectly clear, Captain?”
“Crystal,” she said. Once more, she lidded her eyes. She had found her words, and by Celestia, this mare would be putty in her hooves. “And how’d you know I love a mare who talks dirty?”
If Redheart were a train engine, steam would be coming out of her ears. “For Celestia’s sake.” Releasing her hold on Spitfire, she backed away, eyes alight with a fire Spitfire had seldom seen outside of her Wonderbolts. “You’re impossible.”
A lascivious smile spread Spitfire’s lips.
It didn’t go unnoticed. Wrinkling her snout, Redheart asked, “What now?”
“You’re even hotter when you’re mad.”
Snorting through her nose, Redheart paced to the foot of the bed and picked up Spitfire’s chart in a practiced motion. “And you’re even worse than Rainbow Dash.”
“Heh, always knew the rookie had good taste.” Spitfire hummed, watching Redheart jot something down on the chart with more force than necessary. “But I bet you’re even cuter when you blush. What’s a mare got to do to get you a little hot under the collar, hmm?”
The corner of Redheart’s mouth twitched. “A little tact never hurts. Neither does a little proper flirting, but you seem to possess neither of those qualities.”
Ah ha, there it was. A little carrot like that was all Spitfire needed. An old, familiar smirk took over her smile. “That a challenge?”
“No,” Redheart said, sliding the chart back into place. “That’s me politely telling you to give up whatever this is and behave like the good little filly your mother raised.”
“Hey now, Ma raised a lady killer of a Wonderbolt captain. She’d be ashamed of me if I didn’t get you squirming in my wings!”
“Oh, I’m sure she’d be ashamed, but for different reasons than what you’re thinking.” Trotting over to shut the curtains, she left the room dark save for the fluorescent hum of the lights above. “And even if she wasn’t, I can assure you she was only successful in one of those regards.”
Spitfire chuckled. She was liking this mare more and more. A low, entrancing heat seeped into her voice as she said, “Oh, I am so going to enjoy making you mewl, Red. By the time I clock out of here, you’re going to be begging me for more.”
“I would prefer if you called me Nurse Redheart, or just Redheart if you insist on informality,” she said, trotting away to the door.
“Nah, I like Red better. And leaving already? The night’s still so young!”
Redheart paused at the door long enough to shoot one last, chilling glare over her shoulder. “I have other patients to check up on, and you need your rest. Goodnight, Captain Spitfire.”
“I’d say I hate to see you go, but then that would make me a liar. Ma didn’t raise no liar.” Spitfire waggled her eyebrows, gaze fixed on the slight bobbing of a pink tail and bounce of a white rump. “Though I could say I hate to see you go so quickly.”
“Goodnight, Captain Spitfire,” Redheart said, pulling the door open. “By the way, because of your behaviour, I have revoked your pudding cup rights for the next week. The orderly will see the note I left on top of your chart when they bring in your breakfast tomorrow morning.”
Spitfire felt her jaw drop. “You’re not serious.”
“Aren’t I?” The usual mask of calm, patience, and understanding slipped away from Redheart’s face, leaving what could only be called a smug grin in its place. “Goodnight, Captain.”
The door shut, leaving Spitfire alone. She gaped, staring after the nurse who captivated her so.
Oh.
Oh, this was going to be fun.
The next morning found Spitfire sitting up in her bed, the remains of her breakfast littering a tray on her bedside table. Light seeped through the gaps between the closed blinds of her hospital room window. Somewhere outside, a bird chirped its morning song as it flew by.
Inside, Blaze stood by the foot of the bed. With her Wonderbolt flight suit on, she looked every part the senior sergeant that she was with the exception of how she had her lips sucked in between her teeth. The way her cheeks began to puff up with restrained laughter was also a breach in professionalism, one that their former Captain wouldn’t stand for.
Spitfire, for her part, stared unbelievingly at the cartoonishly large card dropped in her lap. A young pegasus with a watermelon-sized head compared to the rest of its little body looked back up at her with googly eyes, set against a pale blue backdrop. A wobbly line was drawn where its mouth should have been and it cradled its bandaged wing in its hooves. Squiggly lines radiated out from the pegasus and tear drops the size of raisins hung off of either one of its eyes.
The top of the card read in all capital, pink bubble letters, ‘GOT A BOO-BOO?’
A snort escaped Blaze’s lips, and she clamped a hoof over her muzzle.
Spitfire glared up at her. Her expression must have been priceless, given how Blaze’s wings twitched and fidgeted as she struggled to keep them pinned to her sides. “Blaze—”
“Before you say anything!” Blaze cut in, visibly fighting to keep the mirth from her voice. A few giggles slipped through, raising Spitfire’s hackles. “Open the card.”
Through narrowed eyes, Spitfire tried to get a read on her sister. “Why?”
“Just do it,” Blaze said, pointing at the card. “The whole team signed it! You wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings over a little paranoia, would you?”
“Okay.” Spitfire grabbed the edge of the card. She hesitated and spared one more glare for Blaze. “But if anything explodes or jumps out at me, you’re officially demoted.”
“On my honour as a Wonderbolt,” Blaze said, crossing her heart and saluting with a wing, “nothing will explode.”
Spitfire continued to glare for a second before nodding. “Fine.” With only a little trepidation, she opened the card. Her brow went from furrowed to flat. “Seriously?”
The inside of the card was indeed signed by the whole team, including the roadies, support crew, and even Rainbow Dash. What really caught her was the illustration in the middle. There, the same pegasus from the front smiled up at another figure. The other figure wore a nurse’s cap and held the pegasus’ injured wing in its hooves.
The second figure—the nurse—was kissing the pegasus’ wing as a parent kisses their foal’s scraped knees after slipping on the playground. The pegasus, in turn, was smiling up at the nurse, two bright pink dots colouring its cheeks. Surrounding the two figures, the card read ‘DON’T WORRY, THE NURSE WILL KISS IT BETTER!’
Spitfire scowled at the little pegasus, so happy and eager to have the nurse kiss its boo-boo. “Why do you guys hate me?”
“W-well, we just r-really wanted to—wanted to—Pffft!” That was as far as Blaze got before she succumbed to the laughter bubbling up in her voice. At the look on Spitfire’s face, she threw her head back and howled. “Oh my gosh! Your face!” She fell over on her side, hind legs kicking the air and her forelegs wrapped around her barrel. “I-I can’t breathe!”
“Yeah, laugh it up. Har-dee-har-har,” Spitfire deadpanned, tossing the card to the end of her bed. “You’re a real riot.”
Blaze continued to cackle, writhing around on the floor until the door opened. Nurse Redheart stepped in, eyes snapping from Spitfire’s scowl to the pony laughing her head off. With a snort, she closed the door louder than necessary. “Enough!”
In an instant, Blaze was on her hooves, standing at attention, her shoulders squared. “Yes, ma’am!”
“Sergeant Blaze,” Redheart started, walking towards Spitfire’s bed. “I have already told you once that I will not tolerate anything bringing discomfort to my patients. That, and your laughter is disturbing other patients in the whole hall!”
Spitfire took great comfort in watching Blaze gulp and delighted in the tremor that shook her voice. “I-I apologize, ma’am! It won’t happen again, ma'am!”
“Good, because if I have to tell you off again, I will remove you from the hospital grounds. Personally, if need be.” The threat was convincing enough to make Blaze stand rigid. Under her flight suit, Spitfire knew sweat started to bead up on her brow.
“Understood! I was just saying goodbye to my sister on behalf of the whole team.”
At that, Spitfire wrinkled her snout. A sour taste built up in the back of her mouth, dragging her ears down against her mane. Her gaze dropped to the get well card on her bed and she counted each name scrawled on it. They covered almost every inch of the card with their best wishes. Altogether, over two dozen names.
Altogether, over two dozen ponies leaving her behind.
She was jolted from her thoughts by a pair of forelegs wrapping around her shoulders. “See you later, Spits,” Blaze said. “We’ll all miss you. The rest of the tour just won’t be the same.”
Spitfire returned the hug, nuzzling into the fire-red streak of mane that poked out from Blaze’s suit. She bit her tongue, willing the tears from her eyes before they could fall.
“You going to be okay?” Blaze asked as they ended the embrace. Her eyes searched Spitfire, concern bleeding through the hood of her uniform.
Blinking hard, Spitfire rubbed her face and put on a grin. “Please, this is nothing. I’m more worried about the rest of you jokers.” She fiddled with the hospital band around her ankle. “Are you sure Rainbow Dash is going to be ready to go on tour?”
“Don’t worry about her. Fire Streak’s been working her through the routine the last couple days non stop with Silver and Wave. I think he’s planning on having the poor girl recite it in her sleep by the time we make Baltimare.”
Spitfire nodded. Fire Streak was one of the best instructors the Wonderbolts had ever seen, and there was talk that he planned on retiring to teach at the Academy full-time sooner or later.
“Sergeant Blaze, I hate to interrupt, but I believe you’re going to miss your train if you don’t hurry,” Redheart said, her voice much smoother and kinder than it was moments ago. She walked to the pegasus’ side and put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “We’ll take good care of her.”
“Yeah, I know you will.” Blaze gave Redheart a smile and nod of thanks before skipping to the side to quickly hug Spitfire. “Catch you on the flip side, Spits.”
Spitfire squeezed back. “Later, B. Keep an eye on Rapid for me, and be good to that mare of yours. She is one my best friends, you know. Oh, and say goodbye to the rest of the team for me, too.”
“Will do.” Snapping a salute, Blaze pulled her goggles down over her eyes and turned for the door. She lingered in the doorway for a second and caught Spitfire’s eye. She jerked her head at Redheart and mouthed out, “Behave.”
Spitfire stuck her tongue out at her sister in response, who simply grinned before trotting down the hall and out of sight.
Once she was gone, Spitfire sighed and slumped, falling back to her mattress. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from hissing as the movement jostled her wing. As the pain ebbed away, she found herself staring up at the ceiling.
White, but not the kind of white she wanted to see—not the kind of white of the clouds her team would be flying through.
A pressure built up behind her eyes and she blinked as her vision began to blur.
In an hour, the rest of her team would be on their way to Baltimare. Then, after a few days there, they would move on to the next town for the next show. And then the next one, and the one after that.
Meanwhile, Spitfire would be here, waiting for them to come back and for her wing to heal.
“Captain?” Redheart asked, nearly making the mare in question jump out of her fur.
Spitfire took a breath and dragged a foreleg over her eyes. When she opened them, she saw Redheart almost within hoof’s length. Her hoof trailed down the get well card left by Blaze, eyes scanning over all of the signatures. An expression of equal parts unease, confusion, and worry coloured her features.
After a second of consideration, Spitfire decided she didn’t like that look on her. “Yeah?”
“Captain—Spitfire, I ...” Redheart looked from the card to Spitfire and worked her jaw. The latter tilted her head. Was that guilt? “I can only imagine what it must feel like to be left behind like this.”
Spitfire shrugged and looked to the side. “It is what it is. Nothing I can do except lie here for a few weeks.” There was scorn in her voice and she winced. “Sorry, that’s not fair. This isn’t your fault.”
A hoof almost cautiously came to her shoulder, rubbing in small circles. She followed the pristine white hoof to its owner’s eyes. They were bright and captivating as ever, though they shone now with a tender warmth that made Spitfire feel at ease.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Redheart asked. “Get you another pillow, maybe a glass of water?” Her gentle smile and voice both took on a light, teasing edge. “If you ask really nicely, I might even reinstate your pudding rights.”
Spitfire thought for a moment, then that devilish voice reared its head and whispered in her ear. She tried not to show the impish grin that threatened to twist her lips and instead lay her head back, doing her best to look as bereft as she felt seconds ago. “Well ...”
“Yes?”
The opportunity was too tempting to ignore. There was a challenge to win after all, and a nurse to be wooed. Behaving could wait. “It kind of feels like I’m in a sterilized cage right now,” she said, rolling her shoulder in a half-shrug. “Could you open the window? Let some fresh air in here?”
Redheart smiled. “Of course I can.”
Smiling in thanks, Spitfire watched through half-lidded eyes as Redheart walked around her and to the window. With her eyes fixed on the earth pony’s backside, she hummed as she stood up on her hind legs to grab the drawstring to open the blinds.
“There,” Spitfire murmured as those curves moved in the most interesting of ways. Her wing started to unfurl as the morning sun framed Redheart’s figure in the half-open window, and she made sure to commit every detail to memory. “Perfect.”
Redheart paused, drawstring between her teeth. “I haven’t finished opening it yet.”
“No, no, you’re good. Don’t move a muscle.”
Redheart stood there for another few seconds—giving Spitfire ample time to drink the sight of her in—before she caught wise. With a harrumph, she spat the cord out of her mouth and wheeled around. “Unbelievable!”
Spitfire purred, looking back up at the ceiling wistfully. “I’ll say.”
“No pudding for the entirety of your stay!” Redheart growled, yanking the chart from the end of Spitfire’s bed.
“Worth it.”
Shaking her head back and forth, Redheart plunked the chart back in place and snatched the get well card off of the bed blankets. “I can’t believe you. Of all the unprofessional, immature, inappropriate things to do.”
“Hey,” Spitfire said, frowning up at Redheart. “It’s called flirting. Chill.”
With another snort, Redheart dropped the card on Spitfire’s bedside table and was at the door a second later. “Again, if you call that flirting, then it’s a wonder anypony ends up in bed with you without that captain’s badge on your chest.”
Before Spitfire could retort, she had left the room, nearly slamming the door behind her.
Spitfire, for her part, gawked. “Did she just ...”
A quiver danced its way down her good wing. Oh, this was going to be very fun.
This is a comment. <3
That card was priceless
And hats off to Redheart for seeing it, almost unavoidably realising the implication that Spitfire has bragged about her hot nurse to her teammates, and then responding only with compassion. She's wonderful
7998575
It's a great read. I was super happy to preread it as Carapace was writing it.
And explosive? I'm sure everything will be fiiiiiiine.
7999528
And what a lovely comment it is.
7999573
I'm glad Redheart's come across that way! Goodness knows how much she's had to put up with over the years in Ponyville, so I'm glad I was able to keep compassion as a central part of her character and even happier she's coming across that way.
7999614
She's trying her best ;3;
Thank you for this wonderful story. You have given me ideas on a ship request I've been given that is most unusual...
7999528 This is also a comment.
7999664
D'awww. Thank you for reading!
7999692
You are a comment.
7999894
7999692
Oo oo me! me! I am a comment!
7999894 Your face is a comment.
7999909
Maybe, but 7999905 is a better comment than you.
7999918
Score!
7999918 D:
I feel this story is edging the line of the worst parts of 80s "romantic comedies."
To me Spitfire's "flirting," comes across as being an arrogant jerk and not really funny at all. As military Spitfire should understand the concept of professional ethics. As her nurse Redheart cannot and will not reciprocate without violating her ethics as a medical professional.
I'm also leary of "its only a no if its loud and explicit." The reason Redheart isn't just shutting her down hard is because she's trying to be nice and not agitate an injured patient she's not "playing hard to get."
At this point it would take a sincere heartfelt apology on Spitfire's part to deserve Redheart giving her the time of day after she's discharged.
8000110
you do realize this is a story right?
and the characters in it will do whatever the author wants
so instead of trying to psychoanalyze fictional entities
maybe you should enjoy the fic?
besides shit like this has happened in the real world
there is no ethics issue with nurses and patents falling in love
happens all the time
7999932
I know the truth hurts, but when faced with the objective truth, can you really be that upset? Just look at 7999930 here.
8000231 I am so offended. 3offended. Maybe 4offended.
8000239
4offended 5ever
8000231
Alright, Tim, there's no need to elaborate on the subject matter. A comment is a comment. Alack, we have come full circle.
8000248 Possibly 5offended, but that might be seen as whining.
8000255
I suggest whinnying instead.
8000110
First, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to comment!
Second, yay! Going into this, I wanted Spitfire's attempts at flirting to come across as overly arrogant without a snowball's chance for success. I don't want to say too much for fear of spoiling future chapters, but I can say that there is a reason for why Spitfire is acting unprofessional and ignoring Blaze's advice to "behave."
On the note of Redheart, I will say that, given how I've written her (and how I hope she's been portrayed these first few chapters) she's not exactly scared of putting ponies in their place. She's got quite the commanding personality, enough so to scare Blaze into line with a word. If she was really, really bothered by Spitfire, she would do something about it.
The only question is how long before she gets to that point, if it comes at all. Who could possibly know?
8000223
I understand why people are leery of nurse-patient romance. Ethics and such are quite iffy, especially these days I find. A couple people have voiced that concern now, which is fair but surprised me considering medical drama shows like Scrubs where this kind of thing happens frequently.
8000255
You whine all the time. It's fine.
8000271
Bug-horses don't whinny, you goof.
8000271
8000291 *sad chittering noises*
8000295
8000291
8000271
8000250
comps.canstockphoto.com/can-stock-photo_csp7325081.jpg
8000306
And so you shall. Hi buddy!
8000308 comps.canstockphoto.com/can-stock-photo_csp2823863.jpg
8000319
Ah, the classic handshake. Customary greeting worthy of appraise.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-004xbsZ21vs/Uvm6g_lhUlI/AAAAAAAACTw/DujC_PFgmNc/s1600/clapping-hands+copy.jpg
It was a good debate, but I must head to bed folks. So long for now.
8000290
Yeah. And we call it crazy, leery and unethical there too. Aside from getting the technobabble right, medical drama shows basically exist to be the laughing stock of anyone who actually has any experience or respect for the profession. I know nurses who find shows like Grey's Anatomy physically impossible to watch because of a critical mass of WRONG. The amount of horrifically unacceptable behavior that your average soap wholeheartedly condones is fairly obvious.
I do have to throw my hat in with the people who don't find anything to approve of in Spitfire's utterly shameless, bordering on reprehensible and indecent behavior. Still, I'm reasonably confident that you can win the uphill battle of convincing your readers to actually root for her.
I also look forward to finding out why there's such an extreme duality to Spitfire's prudishness about others' sex lives and her brazen lack of inhibition when it comes to her own.
8000685
This is very true, and why I understand why people are leery. Hopefully things will end well enough here, but again, this is a magical pastel pony universe. Not everything will be necessarily the same as you would expect in the real world, but I do recognize I am dancing around a fine line here and there.
As for Spitfire's behaviour, you're absolutely right. As I noted in a previous comment, I wanted her flirting to come across as shameless, arrogant, and not appropriate. If only she listened to Blaze and behaved!
Er, well ... it's not so much being prudish about others' sex lives as she is not wanting to know or have any insight on her sister's sex life with one of her best friends.
8000685
I think it just gas to do with having to be a mother figure for the team while not actually being mature herself. She still wants to play adventurous filly even though her job description says otherwise. She's not dating within the wonderbolts, so she has some boundaries. Her role just puts those boundries in an interesting place.
8000943
8000685 Can confirm that I'd rather take a crowbar to the balls than ever hear the details of my younger brother's sex life. Got a glimpse of his tastes while helping his ex-girlfriend move a couple years back. That was more than I ever wanted.
:( I don't like the fact that your protagonist isn't automatically perfect and unproblematic because characters never change in stories and if you start off bad you can never develop into a more mature and self-aware character. Jfc, people.
Also, I will forever be blown away by comments that a story about magical talking flying technicolor ponies isn't realistic enough and/or doesn't conform to your standards of believability.
8000955 I think it plays well into the idea that there's more to people than a single role, depending on who they're around and the situation they're in.
Surprise didn't help bake her a cake.
8000955
That's quite astute! Spitfire has to be the mature leader even though she'd much rather "sink" to Blaze and Rapidfire's senses of maturity (and oftentimes finds herself there). If only there was someone to help keep Spitfire well-behaved ...
8001072
You poor soul.
8001252
It's kind of weird. On the one hand, I definitely understand why some people would be leery about a nurse (eventually) getting involved with their patient in a realistic hospital environment.
Then again, this isn't a realistic hospital environment and it was never really meant to be one. The few episodes centered at Ponyville General in canon aren't exactly what I'd call a super realistic hospital environment, talking magical ponies aside. I'm trying to keep things within certain boundaries, of course, but still.
8001306
You heard Nurse Redheart. No cake for Spitfire, even if she was well-behaved enough to deserve some.
8000943
I was not aware that you were dancing a fine line. I for one can attest to seeing when a show or story has technobabble that I instinctively know is wrong, but I won't care if the medium provides a form of escapism from reality.
Some people may blame the medium for getting terminology, procedures, or science wrong, but the fact of the matter is for some topic subjects, even if they got everything accurate the people in that field still might not like it because they are in that field and therefore the medium doesn't create that escapism in the first place.
So in conclusion, I don't believe you are treading a fine line on the account of it being a fictional prose. On the other hand, if you were trying to pass it off as a non-fictional narrative and trying to create the actual real world applications into your work, then I'd say otherwise.
8000223
Yikes, I thought I was reading a magazine article on how I should deal with overly rowdy patients!
Okay, now you're just being rude. I think 8000110 and I both understand the fact that the author can write about what he or she wants without brute penalization, but are you saying that Spamotron or I cannot criticize someone because your high horse does not enjoy it?
Please.
Ahem, now to actually give Timaeus some criticism of my own.
First off, love your works Timaeus. You've always managed to have me come back without even throwing a follow in your direction. This story is no exception, chapters one and two had me engaged and wanting more.
Now? Well, like most, I'm leery. You are reassuring someone who has read fics with arrogant or unruly Spitfires before, and they are not as bluntly arrogant and rude as this one. This version of Spitfire is so off-putting, it has ejected me out of the story and onto a bed full of nails.
I don't like being put into a Final Destination death sequence, Timaeus. I've always wanted to say that for some reason (not to you though).
I would really enjoy this story if this was labeled with that comedy tag, because then the arrogance would make sense slightly. This hyper-exaggerated levels of arrogance worry me. I mean, even Ruirik's Fire and Rain had a Spitfire that had some spunk to her, but it didn't pull me out of the fic like this one does.
I'll stick around for one more chapter to see if it gets better, though. I cannot give up the chance to see a good crack ship for this pairing. I'm putting my cards on this table in hopes that you have good reasoning to back up why she's acting this way.
8001843 The problem with your "I'll give it one chapter" is something that drives me utterly batshit about this site: readers expect characters they don't like or those they see who will undergo some sort of character growth/change/development to do an about-face within the next chapter of whatever has annoyed them. Hate to break it to you, but that's poor pacing at its finest. What's more, it's instant gratification. Neither are desirable qualities in a story.
8001843 I gotta admit that I'm not reading things near so seriously. Like, she comes off as arrogant, but I'm having trouble seeing it as more than the starting point for character development. I'm not saying that as anything against you or anyone, mind. It's just almost surreal to see such a massive rejection to her portrayal like this.
8001843
Sorry, double comment, on phone haha
I think the way I'm reading it is.... She's used to being in charge, being obeyed, being in control. Now she's in a situation, stripped of all of that. And this pursuit of red immediately is a reaction, and attempt to get some control back. Of course, that's not an excuse, and it's not a positive reaction, but She's stressed and backed into a metaphorical corner. So of course she's not putting the best impression up. But that's not the end all be all for her characte
8002093
I lost you when you said the bold section. Couldn't you have just said, "Readers expect things to go their way because it's not going their way xd xd xd! Riot! Hang the author at the gallows!" or something like that? Ugh.
Let me explain to you why I think that's a personal problem. See, when a reader highlights something that concerns them, they're going to address it. I simply piggy-backed off Spamotron's comment and expanded upon it, saying that this side of Spitfire is way too over-exaggerated for my liking. Is that bad to say? No. That's me giving a critique. Is that bad that I am so concerned that I'm letting the author know that I'm not going to read the rest if it stays on this route? No, not at all. You may see it differently, considering how you reacted and just assumed that I want it instantly changed, but it is not bad to tell someone that. It's giving them insight from an outside source instead of in their own little writing circles.
You can be batshit crazy all you want about this, but consider that assuming what I want because you don't like what I said isn't the best route to go either.
8002110
That's not the point. I do agree, it's a starting point for character development, but when you look at Spitfire, do you imagine her to act this way? Honestly, I don't. Flirting versus harassment here, but maybe that's how I see it.
It could have been more tasteful, but instead it isn't. Honestly, as I stated before, Ruirik made an arrogant Spitfire that flirted just as much. What Ruirik did was split the flirting/arrogance over the course of the story. Here, we get full blown Spitfire without any pause other than the notion of her team leaving and her being temporarily grounded in P-ville.
So yeah, that's why I don't like this. Too much arrogance too quickly.
Huh, some of the feedback here is not what I expected at all. No doubt well-meaning, and just as deserving as my own opinion, I'm sure.
Probably personal tastes and all that, and had it been other characters acting this way I would react differently. Just thought I'd throw my own voice into the mix.
I've never seen Spitfire this flirty before, I don't think. She usually has a habit of becoming humble and mature, dare I say it, even down to Earth, in her long romance stories. So seeing her like this is very much unexpected. And it's absolutely not how I'd write her myself.
But she's magnificent! And I think it's completely in keeping with her character. She's the captain of the Wonderbolts - she's Equestria's David Beckham, but without the intrusive tabloids that keep him in check. And, however military the Wonderbolts are, their job doesn't exactly encourage them to grow up. Perhaps Jeremy Clarkson would be a better comparison.
I don't think it's remotely unrealistic for her to act as she does, either for a pony in her position, or the way she's shown on-screen. Nor is it bad for her to do so. If Nurse Redheart remains uninterested, then Spitfire's further attempts at seduction will only serve to make herself look pathetic, which she probably doesn't want. I suspect that if Nurse Redheart (who's been shown to be more than capable of holding her own, even against the Wonderbolts) gave a straight answer of 'this behaviour is sexual harassment, and will not be tolerated,' Spitfire would drop it right away.
Again, perhaps because I'm far removed from medical fields, I do understand the ethical concerns in real life, but they don't bother me for a second here.
Anyway, TL;DR: I love the way you've written Spitfire, I laughed out loud many, many times, and took to reading the dialogue aloud so I might enjoy it even more.
8002200 Bullshit. You tacked on a one chapter thing like you're giving the author an ultimatum to correct something you don't like. I've got no problem debating character portrayals with you, but don't try to hide behind "I'm just critiquing" when you pulled that stunt. Give it a rest. Furthermore, your previous comment states that the only way you would accept the arrogance and general antics of Spitfire is if this story had the comedy tag, which demonstrates two things to me:
1) You really haven't paid attention to her canon portrayal.
2) You really don't get that authors have different interpretations and extrapolations of her personality that they derive from canon portrayal.
You cited a rather popular Spitfire shipping fic, which is perfectly valid. That is another author's portrayal of her personality based on information gleaned from her appearances earlier on in the series. For all intents and purposes, that's a completely different character. What we've seen since then is that Spitfire, much like Rainbow Dash, does have the tendency to be rather arrogant and mouthy, even if she has her epiphany moments later on. What's more, she is canonically stated to delight in shooting off her mouth, especially when it comes to being the big, bad Captain of the Wonderbolts. With that in mind, it's not at all that far off to think that mare might see a pretty mare, like Redheart, and say "Woof" and whatnot.
Continuing along that line, Ruirik wrote a 40 chapter shipping story. We're three in right here. Three. And you're pulling the old "I'm giving it one more chapter," like Tim's had her do nothing but flirt since the first line of the fic. Now, I have the benefit of having read every word that's gone into this thing, but I don't think I'm too far off base in thinking that asking for a sudden shift in character portrayal three chapters into a fic is a bit too instant gratification for anything of decent length. Up to the current posted chapter, Spitfire and Redheart have only scratched the surface on their interactions.
8002200
Stop saying my headcanon is more important to me than the story!
My headcanon is more important to me than the story.
Just thought I'd point that out.
8002295
Wow, aren't you feisty? Hint: you don't have to take everything like you just got socked in the face.
That's me telling the author that I won't read the rest if it goes that route. You really are reading way too much into my comment there, ZOMG. Also, read my previous comment, assuming things is wrong of you to do. Maybe you should read more into what I actually wrote, not into some random ether you call "Bullshit".
No one is debating here. We're discussing it. You're the one acting super-de-duper defensive, as if I offended your life story.
Wow, you're really fanboying too hard man. This really puts me in a tough place. I shouldn't read this author's content anymore if you're going to act like that. I wonder if the next person who comes by and says something similar, are you going to jump on them too? Shit. What a great fandom to be a part of xd.
Oh boy, you didn't read the "Fire and Rain" comment. Yikes. Let's see what you put out.
So... her being overly-flirty and rude is canon? Whoa, didn't know that. Also, didn't know that Spitfire was a lesbian.
That's no way to "argue" this!
Man, you're really on the offensive here, dude. I'm not saying the author can't explore it, I'm saying that I don't like it. You're really bent out of shape on this. Need a drink?
I'm not disagreeing with you in terms of:
Like, holy shit read my comments:
I don't know if I can spell it out any better than that.
No, I'm saying is that there's too much of Spitfire's arrogance to even really make this believable. If she's that dense of a character, then holy shit, the writer's literally copy-pasta'd Rainbow Dash. You shouldn't follow the writer's characters to the T, because it isn't that attractive way of writing. Even Aragon would agree with me. Read Aragon's blog before continuing replying to me.
And before you go on a trek of "you're saying she's OOC?", no, I'm saying it's way too much of that way too early.
8002200
Thank you for commenting and thank you for offering up that critique. I'm a little surprised at the kind of reactions this chapter has generated so far, but looking back I can appreciate why. I don't know if this means I would do things a little differently next time around, but I do take it to heart, so thank you.
On the note of Spitfire's character, I find that to be an interesting point of discussion, actually. There's a lot about Spitfire that we don't fully know, and some of it is contradictory or not flattering to who I think she is. Back in Rainbow Falls, we saw her throw Soarin under the bus to recruit Rainbow Dash to their team, something that was pretty darn despicable. A pretty character quality? No, but she did learn from it. That's more of where I was hoping to go with her in this story—something not necessarily pretty about her character that she grows out of with time. We've also seen in Top Bolt that she loves to yell, scream, and such with her cadets, so I didn't have too much of a problem writing her as liking to play the overly arrogant card from time to time, especially when it's her only means of escaping her situation.
Either way, the point is that I think there's a fair bit up in the air for her characterization. People are bound to disagree, especially when it comes to popular secondary characters like Spitfire. I can see why people might read Spitfire as being too arrogant too quickly, and that may have been a failing on my part that I can learn from for future endeavors. At the same time, I can't deny that I'm sad to hear your disappointment in your perceived lack of taste I've written Spitfire with for this chapter.
I cannot promise that Spitfire will turn around and wisen up next chapter (as I mentioned in previous comments, I did intend to have her come across as overly arrogant in her flirtings—though now I consider that I may have gone overboard). I can say that Rossby was correct when he mentioned that this was the beginning for development. Spitfire will grow and learn over the story, but jump-starting that growth in the "one chapter" you promised to stick around for would do more damage to the story's pacing than good. Learning these lessons takes time, but you will see that growth start soon-ish.
8002344
First of all:
>Reading Aragon's blog posts
>Ever
No. I've read enough of his fics to know that I couldn't give less of a damn about his opinions on writing. His ship fics have always left something to be desired, and Would Bang was more than enough of his brand of ... meme for one lifetime. In fact, I think a round of whatever deleted Wolverine's memory dependent on the lolcomics explanation Marvel chooses for whichever portrayal we're on is in order. Either that or let me borrow the neurolizer from MiB. Maybe both. I want to be thorough.
Second, actually read the points for what they bring up and digest it rather than blindly going "SO X IS A FLIRTY LESBIAN IN CANON? OKAY!" like this is some troll forum on the shipping group. Or at least turn off your memetic tripe for five minutes, whichever is easier. You went on about the distribution of flirting in Fire and Rain being different. I, too, have read that fic. My point, since I apparently need to spell it out, is that the distribution seems even because it is layered over the course of forty chapters. Ruirik did a great job showcasing how Spitfire and Rainbow interacted together, and the reader went along for the ride. Here, we're three chapters in. Redheart isn't exactly swooning here. Ya think Tim might be headed somewhere with that?
Third, for the fanboy stuff, don't make me laugh. You're the one citing people and going "SEE! SEE! THEY SAY WHAT I'M RECITING." I know that's what passes for citing a source of extremely dubious quality at best on this site, but goddamn. Pot. Kettle.
8002344
Is it season two already? Man, my calendar is WAY off.
8002365
All right, I like this response. I guess the one chapter thing was a bit of a gut-kicker, and I apologize if it was, but I did want to at least comment. Not many people comment nowadays, and it's worthwhile when people do. I'll try to give some more in the future as I follow this, if you would like.
Just was concerned, thanks for putting them to rest. :)
Also, ZOMG, if you respond, take it to PM, out of respect of the author.
8002388 Jon, stop winning arguments with one line.
8002380
You're really acting defensive for no reason whatsoever. If you want to talk to me civilly and not act like an asshat you are now, then fine, that'll be great.
But until then, calm down and realize that you're not helping at all. You're actually deterring people from even commenting.