• Published 31st Jul 2016
  • 1,403 Views, 22 Comments

Hardcore Friendship - The card holder

Henry has a body count in the dozens and nothing but questions about his past, but most of that is put on hold when he literally crashes into some weird horse dimsension.

  • ...



Not many things could apply to such a phrase, but for Henry, he was starting to build a list of such things.

Decapitating Akan using his own eye? That was easy, once he punched him enough.

Dropping the lying cunt who pretended to be his wife out of an airborne helicopter to her death? Even more so.

Subsequently taking out the pilot? Child's play.

Flying the helicopter to solid ground afterwards?

That was the tricky part.

Unsurprisingly, while Henry found that he excelled at murder and avoiding being murdered, he was lacking in the aircraft control department. Plus, the chopper had drifted too far away from Akan's headquarters to simply jump out and let it crash.

In the interest of avoiding crashing, Henry started pulling whatever levers, switches, or cranks he thought would help. All that this got him was a lot of tilting, confusion, and ultimately flying downwards. A step in the right direction for landing, but unfortunately he was going down much too sharply to actually land.

He kept pulling levers, hoping that he could right himself, but alas, it seemed he had thrown himself into an inescapable dive. To think, everything he had gone through, and he was about to be done in by attempting to fly.

While searching desperately for a way out, Henry noticed a red button tucked away under the controls. It had writing in Russian above it in bold red letters, but Henry had no idea what it said. Deciding that it couldn't really make the situation any worse, he slammed his hand on the button, not expecting much.

The moment he did, an alarm started going off in the cockpit, and he noticed a bright bubble of light forming around the aircraft. Eventually, it got bright enough that Henry had to shield his eyes, but he could still feel how the helicopter's flight path seemed to almost slow down. He was still pointing down, that much was certain, but somehow he wasn't plummeting out of the sky anymore.

Daring to take a look outside, Henry managed to catch a glimpse of a massive palette of glowing colors before gravity decided to take hold once more, and he was once again dropping.

However, he took notice of a distinct change in scenery he was about to smack into. For one, it was daylight now, which was odd in and of itself. Secondly, rather than urban Russia, he was now above what looked like a small village of some description. Third, said village had a large, oddly-shaped castle in the middle of it. And finally, he was plummeting towards that same castle.

Henry tried pulling up on anything that could go up, but it only delayed the inevitable, as the chopper only barely pulled out of its nosedive, slowing the descent from "certain death" to "99% chance of death".

Seeing no other way this could go, Henry simply braced for impact.

And what an impact it was, a sickeningly loud mess of twisting metal, scraping blades, and even shattering crystal(?!) capped off by the unmistakable feeling of the engine exploding and catching fire.

The chopper was stuck in the wall for a brief moment, giving Henry hope that he could escape mostly unscathed, but those hopes were dashed when the chopper let out a groan, and pulled free from the wall to continue dropping, this time into a large interior hall of the castle.

The second impact was less spectacular than the first, but it was no less destructive, turning the helicopter upside down and throwing Henry around like a ragdoll.

And then, just like that, the chopper had stopped.

Pulling himself to his feet, Henry failed to get any sort of view from what remained of the cockpit, so he retreated farther back into the chopper in the hopes of finding a way out of the wreckage.

On the bright side, there was now a large hole in the side of the chopper.

The bad news, it was on fire.

Seeing no other option, Henry took a deep breath and dove through, making sure to roll on landing to put out any flames he picked up. As soon as he was sure he wasn't burning, he sprang back to his feet and looked around.

And saw a pair of purple horses looking at him with alarm, both with horns on their heads and one with wings on its back.

Thoroughly confused and unsure of what to do, Henry just stared at them, not moving. They did the same. Meanwhile, the crashed chopper just kept on burning.

Hearing the sound of liquid dripping onto the floor, Henry looked down to see that he was hurt more than he thought in the wreck, as there was a large gash on his side dripping blood onto the floor. That injury, along with everything that happened to him just before, no doubt made him look like absolute hell.

At that moment, he could feel his legs going weak, but he fought to keep standing. He didn't want to die until he got some answers as to what the fuck just happened.

Unfortunately, the events of the past day were starting to take their toll, and he could feel his consciousness slowly fading away, even as he stood.

Not that he stood for very long, though. The pain and fatigue soon forced him to one knee, but he still made sure to keep his gaze on the horses.

While he was tired and injured, this didn't feel like last time, when he was running out of power in that brothel. That told him that power wasn't the issue, but rather his own human limitations.

Still, the weight of everything that had been done to him recently was unavoidable, and he couldn't prevent himself from blacking out and falling to the ground.

"Twilight, what the hay do we do?!"

"Look, it's obviously hurt! We need to get it stabilized!"

"We don't even know what it is! How do we know we can even help? And why is it covered in all that blood?!"

"Starlight, it's bleeding all over the floor, I'm pretty sure we can't actually make it worse!"

A rustling of several pages, along with several quick steps.

"Aha! I got it! An all-purpose healing spell!"

"Are you sure that'll work?"

"Like I said, it's better than nothing."

A deep breath. Then, an odd sensation.

"Wait, why is it...?"

The sensation intensifies. Then, wounds slowly piecing themselves back together.

"It... It's working!"

"Well, that takes care of the worst of it... Now, the next step is..."

A press on the chest.

"Huh, feels a lot harder than it looks..."

Another press. Harder this time.

"Twilight, I think I see it moving!"

"Alright, then finally..."

One last press, directly on the heart.

Henry's eyes snapped open and he wasted no time springing to his feet, shocking both of the horses. They were a lot closer now, and the one with wings had a book hovering in front of it, bathed in the same light purple glow enveloping its horn.

The glow stopped the moment he stood up, and the book dropped to the ground, while both horses gasped loudly and backed away. Henry took the time to get a better look around the room. However, apart from the crashed helicopter (no longer on fire, he noticed), the room was almost entirely empty, save for a number of doors leading elsewhere, and the giant hole in the wall he left.

He turned back to the horses just in time to catch them sharing a look at each other, one that looked to be one of uncertainty. When they noticed him looking their way, the winged one took a deep breath and took a step forward. Henry tensed, ready for combat should the need arise.

The horse gave one last look to the other, before opening its mouth. "Are you... okay?"

Henry said nothing. Not that he could, anyway.

The horse in the back let out a sigh. "Great, it can't understand us."

They definitely sounded female, that was for sure. The second horse winced slightly as Henry's gaze fell upon her.

Now somewhat confident that he wasn't in any danger, Henry relaxed slightly.

"Well, I'm sure we can figure out some way to communicate," the winged horse continued. "Think it would understand if we asked it to write something down?"

"Can it write?" the other one asked. Henry casually flipped her off in response.

"Wait, did you see that?" wing horse asked, suddenly getting excited. "What did that gesture mean?"

"I don't know, but-" No-wing horse gasped, before leaning close to her friend. "I think it can understand us!"

Henry nodded.

"It can!" wing horse said, now smiling. "We can be the first ponies to make contact with a never before seen species!" She clapped her front hooves together excitedly, a display which Henry had to admit was pretty cute, before clearing her throat. "So... what's your name?" she asked.

Henry made a dismissing hand wave, before pointing to his throat and shaking his head quickly.

The horse deflated slightly. "So... you can't speak?"

Henry nodded.

She put a hoof to her chin in thought. "Well, that complicates things..." She shook her head. "Anyway, I guess we should introduce ourselves, in any case. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Starlight Glimmer."

Henry nodded to each of them in turn.

"Sorry, but uh..." Starlight started, "I have to ask, why all the... blood?"

Twilight mirrored her friend's questioning gaze, and Henry looked down at himself. Sure enough, his clothes were practically caked in blood, and it was unclear how much was his and how much wasn't.

He looked back up and gave a shrug.

Starlight and Twilight shared a concerned look.

"Well..." Twilight began awkwardly. "Were you in any danger?"

Henry wavered his hand back and forth, as if to say 'sorta'.

"Right..." Suddenly, she seemed to realize something, and smacked her face with her hoof. "Oh, right, writing stuff down..."

With that, she lit up her horn and vanished in a flash of purple light. Now alone with him, Starlight gave an awkward smile.

She didn't get to make any idle conversation, though, as Twilight soon returned, now levitating a quill and parchment. "This should do the trick!"

She offered the tools to Henry, and he very hesitantly accepted them. He already didn't have a good track record with levitation.

Once her purple glow was no longer on the objects, he started writing, trying to work around writing with a quill. Once it was done, he turned the paper around to show them what he wrote.

Akan is a cunt

Both of the horses looked at it, their expressions dropping slightly.

"I... can't read it," Starlight finally said.

"It's not any language I've seen before..." Twilight added. "This complicates things."

Henry just rolled his eyes in frustration. Of course, the first chance he had to actually talk to someone with more than just gestures, and it turns out they used a different language.

On top of that, all the blood on his person was starting to dry, and it made moving feel more stiff and uncomfortable than it needed to be.

Suddenly, he got an idea, and started writing again, both Starlight and Twilight looking over curiously. When he was finished, he turned it back to them again, revealing a poorly drawn, but still identifiable picture of a showerhead.

Twilight seemed delighted at the newfound ability to communicate, but quickly realized what exactly he was asking. "Oh, uh, right, follow me, please."

She started walking towards one of the doors, and Henry followed, still holding the quill and parchment.

"What about this mess?!" Starlight yelled across the room, pointing to the remains of the aircraft.

"I'll fix it later!" Twilight shouted back, before disappearing into a doorway, Henry close behind.

Author's Note:

My friends, my lovers, and everyone I cared for are dead

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