Ghost Squad

by Sollace

Chapter 6

5:30 AM, Apple Orchard Avenue, Sweet Apple Acres

Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash trotted in silence, their packs slung over their backs as they followed the trail towards Sweet Apple Acres. The only sounds around them were the soft rustling of the sweet apple orchards, the occasional flitter of a fruit bat, and the sound of stones crunching under hoof.

Twilight had a silent determination about her, and blazed ahead at a trotting pace. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie lagged behind, Pinkie humming a merry jig and skipping as she went, not paying much attention to anything and Rainbow creeping along beside her, looking side to side and running a nervous hoof over her Pack’s nozzle.

It was already starting to get light. They could already see the rivulets of sunshine peeking out over the horizon as Celestia began the day. But even so, the orchards were dark and gloomy. It felt almost like something was watching them and, out of the corners of her eyes, Rainbow could have sworn she saw one of the trees sneering at her.

She gulped, shaking it off, and picked up her pace. She trotted up beside Twilight and gave the Alicorn a light nudge, “Um, egghead, a- are we—” She coughed and smacked her lips to clear her dry throat, “What are we going to do when we get there?”

“Huh? What?” Twilight snapped out of her trance, stopping cold in her tracks as she glanced around her in surprise.

“... cup of flour and add— Oof” Pinkie Pie immediately collided with the princess from behind, bouncing off her flanks a crumpling to the ground behind them.

Twilight’s eyes settled on Rainbow Dash, as she stared at her with a raised eyebrow and a slack jaw, “... oh,” Twilight blushed, “Right.” She ran a hoof through her mane and quickly recovered, restoring her determined look.

She pointed ahead, up the trail to where the farm was visible as dark silhouette in the distance, “We get there, we find a portal, and we save Derpy,” she gave a firm nod and resumed trotting at a slightly faster pace.

Rainbow Dash frowned, “... okay,” slowly following behind, “And if we don’t find a portal?”

“We cross that bridge when we get there.”

~ ~ ~

Baldwin Barn stood tall and silent, foreboding overlooking as our ponies approached. Somehow, now it seemed taller than it did during the day. In the dim light of this early morning, its normally welcoming demeanour was replaced by one much more sinister. Its lively grinning visage was dark against the sky and the bright red of its planks were a deep dark black in the dim light.

With the Apple family away in Las Pegasus, and Apple Bloom sleeping in Mayor Mare’s office, the whole place had become a veritable ghost town, though Twilight silently hoped that wasn’t the case.

Everypony regrouped outside the entrance to the barn, forming a little circle as they huddled together to form an action plan, “So,” Rainbow Dash whispered. She shifted her wings uncomfortably as she looked between Twilight and Pinkie’s faces, “What’s the plan? What did you say was in there?”

“It’s...” Twilight raised a hoof, breathing in and taking a pause to gather her thoughts. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie angled their ears to Twilight, leaning in to hear what she had to say.

Twilight remained frozen in thought, her hoof raised and her jaw working. Finally, “I don’t know,” Twilight deflated slightly, in tandem with the hopes of the other two mares.

“Oh what!?” Rainbow Dash groaned, facehoofing as she broke away from the group. She trotted away with her back turned to Twilight and stopped on the other side of the clearing to lean a hoof against Big Mac’s plough.

~ ~ ~

5:40 AM, Los Pegasus

Big Mac was standing at the slot machines, pretending to watch as Granny Smith demonstrated her ‘special technique’ when suddenly a cold shiver ran up the back of his spine.

His ears perked and he was instantly alert, looking around him seriously. His plough senses were tingling. He looked back over his shoulder, in the direction he knew would be Sweet Apple Acres.

Did somepony just— He shook it off, “Eenope,” couldn’t be.

~ ~ ~

“It’s not so bad,” Twilight began, leaving Pinkie Pie alone for a moment aas she joined Rainbow Dash next to the plough, “I just can’t remember.”

“It’s not about that,” Rainbow huffed. She pouted and leaned back on her haunches against the edge of the plough, using it as a makeshift seat. She then ran her lesser pink hoof through her mane, brushing out yet more pieces of cheese.

Twilight couldn’t help but snort, and had to stop herself from giggling at the cute display. Forcing the urge to ruffle Rainbow’s mane, she put on her best motherly voice, “Is this still about the cake?” Another grunt escaped her lips, and Twilight blinked the tears out of her eyes.

“... Maybe,” Rainbow Dash reverted to her defensive position, crossing her hooves in front of her and avoiding Twilight’s gaze.

Twilight simply rolled her eyes and, turning back to return to Pinkie Pie, flicked her with tip of her tail causing Rainbow to jump and topple off the end of the plough, “Well suck it up, let’s get m- m- Pinkie Pie!” Twilight screamed and broke into a canter.

Rainbow Dash groaned, rubbing her head as she climbed back up over the top of the plough, “What is—“ She eeped, her eyes growing wide, “Pinkie Pie!” She leaped over the plough and flung herself across the clearing after twilight.

Both mares collided with Pinkie in unison, winding her, and dragging her away from the front of the barn, “Don’t,” Rainbow grunted out from between gritted teeth, sweating profusely as she and Twilight attempted to hold Pinkie Pie back as she hung onto the door handle for dear life.

“Open,” Twilight added, also through gritted teeth, squeezing her eyes shut.

“The door,” Rainbow Dash concluded.

“Aw...” Pinkie Pie sighed and looked between the two mares currently crushing her, “But I wanted to see what was inside...” She quickly let go of the barn door, leaving it to spring back into place, and all three ponies collapsed to the ground in a panting heaving, fuzzy heap.

Twilight was the first to recover, bouncing back to her hooves and turning to scold Pinkie, “You can’t just go waltzing in there!” She growled, “It could have been dangerous!” Her horn lit and Pinkie Pie was levitated in front of her in her magic, and Twilight hastily shook her like a rag doll as she continued on her rant, “What if there was a monster on the other side?” she panicked, “Or worse, a portal to another dimension! I’m not going to lose another pony! We have to have a plan!”

“Well, then,” Rainbow Dash interrupted the princess’ panicked tirade, “What is the plan?” She got back up to her hooves and straightened her pack, and met Twilight’s gaze, “We heading in there guns blazing, or what?”

“No, I don’t think so,” Twilight shook her head, and allowed Pinkie Pie to stand. She rubbed her chin as she took in the scale of the barn. All this time they’d been there, and they still hadn’t heard a single peep from inside, “We have no idea what it’s going to be, so I think it’s a good idea to stake out the place first.” She spun around to point to Rainbow Dash, “Dash, can you still fly?”

“Um...” Rainbow spread her wing, giving it a quick look over. She gave a slight nod, “Maybe, but—”

“Good, then you can go up and check through the windows, Pinkie Pie,” she pointed to the mare in question, still in the process of correcting her rattled eyes, “You can—“ Twilight’s brow furrowed, “... Stay where I can see you.” She then turned to look up at the barn, “And I’ll take the front entrance. Whatever’s in there, we’re going to be one-hundred percent prepared for it, even if it is just a pair of corn kernels.”

Twilight concluded her speech and was prepared to put her perfect, can’t possibly fail plan into action when the unexpected happened.

Her plan failed.

“Did somepony say corn colonels?” a loud voice boomed out from inside the barn, rattling our ponies ears and making Twilight’s mane stand on end. She spun around in time to see the barn lurch and bulge. Its windows, once dark and foreboding, exploded in a burst of bright lights and howling ghostly moans.

They could do nothing but watch with gaping awe as the barn’s walls bulged outwards, inflating the barn and, when it seemed like it was about to explode, the front door cracked and burst open, and sent our ponies flying backwards under the force of a gale.

The wind quickly inverted, sucking Twilight and Rainbow Dash inside.

~ ~ ~

Inside the barn, Twilight found herself flung head over hooves through the air, a strong wind whipping her mane and blinding her, “Ah!” Twilight screamed out, kicking her legs and flapping her wings out of reflex as she was spun around in circles through the air.

“Ho, ho, ho,” a new voice, this one just as deep but slightly younger and, oddly, more charismatic than the other, echoed around them, “What do we have here?”

“Oh, what a day! A trio of ponies, I do hope they’ve come to stay!”

“We’ve been so lonely since that filly, Apple Bloom, ran away~”

Twilight tried to ignore the rhyming voices for now, rather choosing to focus on much more pressing matters. She wiped her mane out of her face and looked around, trying to shield her eyes from the wind as she searched for Rainbow, “Rainbow Dash, where are you?”

“AHHHH!”

Rainbow’s voice, screaming, answered her from behind, and Twilight’s felt a wave of relief. She turned around with a grin on her face to meet her friend, “Rainbow, thank Cele—“ Her joy was short lived as the Pegasus came into view, flying upside down —or she was the one upside down, nopony could really tell at this point—careening towards her at the speed of sound.

The two collided with a deafening crack, hooking their hooves together and continuing their journey together, “Twilight! Thank Celestia!” Rainbow gasped and wrapped her hooves around Twilight. She pulled her into a tight hug that twilight feared she had no intention of releasing her from, “What’s going on?”

“It looks like” — Twilight grunted, and squirmed to get some space to breathe – “a—”

“Weeee!” Twilight was cut off as they were joined by another mare, Pinkie Pie, as she spun through the air and crashed into them both. The group was almost knocked apart once again as they spun frantically through the whirlwind, but was pulled back together as Pinkie grabbed them into an even tighter hug, “Heya!” She shouted.

“Pinkie Pie!?” Both ponies gasped in surprise, staring at the grinning mare currently crushing both of their lungs, “What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t think I was going to leave you to have all the fun alone, was I?” She stuck out her tongue, and gave them both another quick squeeze.

“Well, um...” Rainbow trailed off, looking to Twilight to see she was doing much the same, scrunching her nose, “Twilight,” Rainbow turned her attention to the slightly purpler Alicorn between them, “What were you saying?”

“It’s—” Twilight grunted. She squirmed slightly to get Pinkie to loosen her death grip and continued, “Polymorhps,” she inhaled briefly, “Neightzsche suggested that they could manifest themselves in a lot of different ways,” she thought to herself for a moment, looking around at the chaos the barn was in. She could feel a powerful force at work here, it was buzzing her horn like a hornet’s nest it was so strong. But, then again—Pulling a hoof free, Twilight pressed it fetlock deep into Pinkie’s mane to feel around inside.

When she didn’t find any hornets, she continued, “This one must be attuned to the barn’s natural—” Twilight was suddenly cut off as she ducked to avoid a flying chair.

“What?” Rainbow Dash screamed over the commotion.

“It’s a poltergeist!”

“A poltergeist!?” The voices screamed, stricken with terror, and everything stopped. The swirling vortex vanished, leaving our trio to fall crashing to the ground in a dishevelled heap.

Twilight landed first, hard, in the middle of the room on top of her Harmony Pack. She was then winded as Rainbow Dash, with her dented pack, landed splayed out across her chest and Pinkie Pie landed screaming behind them into a pile of hay.

Rainbow Dash gasped and, pulling Twilight aside, they both rolled out of the way as a garden fork impaled itself in the ground. Several more gardening implements and furniture rained down around them as the barn slowly restored its natural order.

Meanwhile, the voices continued their rant unabated, “Oh dear-y me!” The first one screamed, shaking the dust from the rafters as its cords boomed across the room, threatening to break into a wail.

“Say it isn’t so!” The other added, “Not here!”

“Not now!”

Twilight and Rainbow Dash blinked, looking between themselves with raised eyebrows. Rainbow untangled herself and rolled onto her hooves, then helped Twilight up. They listened to the voices’ continued booming, now significantly less threatening, and followed it towards the source: a stack of barrels lying, shaking out of fright, in the back.

Separating, they trotted around the stack of barrels to take up a strategic stance. Twilight stood to the forefront, lighting her horn and focusing her magic to the power switch on the side of her pack, just in case, whilst Rainbow took flight and hovered a hoof off the ground to cover the other two routes.

“Um,” Rainbow Dash coughed, “Hello?”

“Is somepony in there?”

The voices went suspiciously quiet. There was a rapid bout of whispering from behind the barrels and what Twilight distinctly heard as: Psst, she’s talking to you

Followed after by a loud bang, and another rattle from the barrels, Ow!, and the first voice returned in full force, “Why me!?”

Twilight looked over to Rainbow Dash, mouthing out What? under her breath.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, “Dudes, you do know we can hear you, right?”

“Horseapp—” One of the voices swore but was cut short as a flash of smoke burst forth from the pile of barrels. Two figures came floating out of the top, arching through the air and back down past Twilight. One swerved around her whilst the other continued through her leaving the mare with a strong chill.

They circled back and came to a rest in the middle of the barn, two pale green-orange mix ponies. Or, at least one might have mistaken them for ponies if not for the subtle translucency, only visible as they floated in front of a lantern hanging in the background, or the very obvious fact that their bodies terminated below the waist. Everything below that tapered off into a thin wisp of a tail that trailed silently behind them wherever they went.

They bore long white handlebar moustaches and were garbed in the raggedy old uniforms. It was the distinct blue tone of the fabric, intricately designed cufflinks and collars, and golden buttons that stood out particularly well for her. Twilight vaguely recognised them as something out of her history books, a relic from the Early Equestrian settler’s war, and a heavy influence for the 1800s Wondebolts uniforms. They were usually reserved for the highest ranking officers of the Earth Pony’s tribe.

“Yes, well,” The first ghost huffed, crossing his fore hooves, “It seems we’ve gone an’ messed this up. Haven’t we, brother?”

“Rightly so,” the other nodded, “We’ve truly been outmatched. I’m beginning to think that there weren’t even a real poltergeist in the first place.”

“Not. Cool.”

“Um,” Rainbow Dash started. Hovering down, she alighted next to Twilight as they both regarded this strange pair of characters before them. Twilight had returned her nozzle to her side, but Rainbow wasn’t nearly as ready to let her guard down. He eyes narrowed and, aiming the nozzle up at the nearest of the two, “So, who are you?”

“Oh how rude of us!” The first ghost seemed to perk up. Prodding his comrade in the side with a hoof, he motioned to the mares before him, “We haven’t even told you our names. I’m Kettle,” he motioned to himself with a hoof, and then pointed to his brother floating beside him, “And this is my brother, Cream”—

“Charmed,” He inclined his head.

— “and together we are—”

“The Corn Colonel Brother!” They both shouted in unison, throwing their hooves in the air as they did so. Cream flashed a smug grin towards Rainbow Dash, winking slightly as he hung onto his brother’s hoof as they twirled around each other through the air.

One of them snapped a hoof and, in the background, several barrels topped themselves and let loose a fountain of popcorn that showered the group.

“Woo!” A cheer and the sound of clapping hooves called Twilight and Rainbow out of their dumbfounded stupor, and they both turned to glare at Pinkie Pie, where she sat on her haunches with a wide smile and clapping her hooves.

“So you’re... colonels?”

“We were colonels,” Kettle quickly corrected, accompanied by a nod from his brother, “This is until I died a heroic death in the lines of duty. But as for my brother,” Kettle floated down turning sideways to hover at ear level next to the princess. He cupped a hoof over his mouth to whisper into his ear, “he stepped on a landmine.”

“Hey now!” Cream protested, “I heard that!” and shot down to pull Kettle back up into the air by the tail. He spun his brother around to look him in the face, prodding his chest with an accusing hoof as he spoke, “I only did that because you pushed me!”

Kettle nodded, “Out of the way of that cannon, yes. You should be thanking me, brother.”

“To Tartarus I’m goi—“

“Ahem,” Twilight’s cough caught their attention, “Guys?”

“Oh, right,” In the dim light, Twilight couldn’t sworn she saw Kettle turn a redder shade of green—pink? He ran a hoof through his mane out of reflex, seemingly trying straighten it— or more likely to cover up for his embarrassment—and ultimately failing as his hoof phased straight through the hairs. Twilight made a mental note to ask how hair worked in the afterlife.

The ghost floated down in front of her, leaning forward on a blanket of air, resting his chin on his fore hooves crossed in front of him, “I’m so terribly sorry about that. Old quarrels, I do hope you understand.” He flashed a grin with a half smirk, “Now... how may we help you?”

“Could you,” Rainbow Dash spoke up from the side, and they both turned to see the mare, standing stock still with her eyes trained on him and his brother. She looked to them with a narrowed gaze and, if Twilight wasn’t mistaken, she thought she saw the Pegasus tremble. She tossed her nozzle to her other hoof and pointed it up towards Cream. She coughed, “Could you guys... I don’t know, leave?”

Twilight gasped, “Rainbow Dash!”

“Leave!?” The colonels recoiled in horror.

“What?” Rainbow Dash blinked, and looked between her two friends, both glaring at her, “You heard me. I want them to get out.”

Both brothers floated back into the air, passing through the rafters as they spoke quickly between them, “Heavens me, she can’t be serious, can she?”

“I don’t know, dear brother, but we certainly can’t leave.”

Cream Corn nodded, “Where would we go?”

“What would we do?”

“It’ll be the end of us, I say!”

“Well,” Twilight called out form below, interrupting the brothers banter. She eyed Rainbow Dash, making her shrink away under her gaze, “She may have been blunt, but Rainbow does have a point,” she admitted, “If you’re not willing to leave, then you leave us no other choice.” She levitated the nozzle from her Harmony Pack out and flicked the on switch with a wing. The pack started thrumming and shaking as it began building up pressure.

“Woah, woah, woah,” The first brother held up his hooves defensively. They both floated back down to Twilight, sweating bullets as they eyed the glowing nozzle pointed their now, “Let’s not be too hasty here.”

“Yes,” Kettle nodded frantically, “Th- that’s not to- to—” he was taken over by a bout of stuttering. Unable to complete his sentence, he cowered behind his brother, holding him in front of him like a pony shield. Nopony thought to mention that they could still see him, plain as day through Cream’s translucent coat.

“T—” Cream stuttered, and swallowed the lump in his throat, “To say that we don’t want to leave.”

“Yes, exactly” Kettle poked his trembling head out from behind his brother and nodded, “If we could we certainly would.”

“But we can’t.” Cream joined his brother in nodding, plastering nervous smiles across their faces as they looked between Rainbow and Twilight.

Twilight’s eyebrow rose. She allowed the nozzle of her pack to lower slightly in her aura, looking at the two ghosts trembling in front of her, “... and why is that?”

“Oh, well...” The ghosts were thrown off slightly by the question, but regaining his confidence now that he was sure his afterlife was no longer at stake, pushed out from behind his brother to answer with vigour, “We’re stuck here, you see. This farm was built over our graves.”

“We were perfectly at rest, but then something had to come along and give us a rather... rude awakening.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t notice it,” Kettle ran a hoof through his moustache, pretending he was twisting the end, “Shook up the entire Necroverse it did, gave us all a might fright.”

“Well, remember,” Cream interjected, “they are just mortals after all. They’re not going to be as in tune with the finer nuances of the afterlife like we are.”

“True, but still. They should have felt something when the spell went off.”

“Wait, hold on,” Rainbow Dash butted in, “What’s this about a spell?”

Twilight took on a more serious tone, anything else previous forgotten. She let her pack’s nozzle fall. She trotted up to the nearest of the brothers and pulled him close with her magic, bringing them face to face. She uttered slowly and precisely, “Show us.”

----
Chapter notes:

Baldwin
“One bite yields sweetness with a hint of spice.”
Eeyup, it’s an apple.

Comments

[e520]

Well that would do it

[mwclaud]

Very interesting and exciting, and it sounds like they are about to find some answers.

[Ri2]

...Are these two related to Flim and Flam by any chance?

[Sollace]

9116408
Now that you mention it... 🤔