Pony Fantasy V: Exodus of the Void

by GMBlackjack

II - The Impossible Ship

The three mares watched the pirates for several hours - they were a jolly sort, drinking and yelling and cheering nonstop ever since the ship had returned. Apparently they had gotten some good plunder and needed to celebrate. Applejack had to hold Pinkie down at one point to keep her from joining in the festivities.

At long last, evening came, and Applejack learned something - Pirates snore extremely loudly. She hoof motioned to the other two to follow her as she trotted out into the open, carefully looking for pirates that were not asleep. To her surprise, even the few that were on “watch” were passed out in front of what they were supposed to be guarding.

“Huh.” Applejack muttered, walking right past a pirate. He didn’t even shift in his sleep, apparently having mastered the ancient art of sleeping while standing. Applejack herself had done that on more than one occasion - though she knew from experience that there was a very real danger of just being tipped over. She turned to look behind her, realizing that the other two weren’t even following her. She poked her head back around the corner and the two were still just sitting there.

“I told ya to come!” She hissed.

“Dear you said no such thing.” Rarity responded.

“Shhh!” Applejack ‘whispered.’ “I hoof motioned you!”

“Oh was that was that was?” Pinkie asked. “I thought you had an itch.”

Applejack facehooved. “Come on, they’re all more asleep than a bear in winter. Just be quiet and we might get past them.”

Rarity and Pinkie nodded. Applejack walked in front of the sleeping pirate again, who hadn’t moved an inch. She headed for the dock, stepping over another sleeping pirate, this one an earth pony mare. The pirate’s ear twitched, but aside from that she made no response to Applejack’s presence.

Rarity managed to elegantly step over the slumbering mare without so much as a creak. She gave Applejack an arrogant smirk. Putting her nose into the air, she trotted across the bridge, proud of her stealth skills.

Then she dropped her suitcase onto the dock with a loud CLANG!!!

Everyone froze to look at the mare. She groaned, rolled over, and went back to snoring - somehow even louder than before.

Applejack fixed Rarity with a death glare and Rarity sheepishly smiled back. There was much Applejack wanted to say, but it would have to wait until they were safely at sea on this… ship that could sail without wind. They began to move along the dock once more.

It was now Pinkie’s turn to sneak past the pirate, and she hopped over her easily. Then she brought out the party cannon and aimed it above the pirate. It went of with a KA-PLOOF that shook the entire cavern and echoed for several seconds, making Applejack and Rarity cringe. The mare seemed like she would wake up, mumbled something about pancakes, then fell back asleep.

“Pinkie!” Applejack yelled. “Are you TRYING to wake her up???”

“Uh-huh! They sleep like rocks!” Pinkie responded, her grin refusing to falter.

“PINKIE!!!!.”

“Applejack, darling… I thought we needed to be quiet hrrrm?” Rarity pointed out.

Applejack shot the two of them death glares and just walked up the dock and onto the pirate ship. The ship itself was abandoned - the pirates apparently liked sleeping in their little cove better than a ship that kept bobbing in the waves.

Applejack sauntered up to the ship’s wheel. “Okay then. Lesse here… If this boat sails without wind then all we should need to do is…” She grabbed the wheel and started to turn. The boat creaked as the rudder rotated, but nothing happened.

Rarity blinked. “Applejack, do you even know how to sail?”

“Yah, but that’s with wind. I have no clue about fancy windless boats-“

“Ooh lemme try!” Pinkie said, shoving Applejack aside. She squinted at the wheel, and frowned. “There’s no speed control… or even a forward control lever. This looks exactly like a sailboat - no other form of propulsion is visible from this control.” She blinked. “Wow, I just sounded smart didn’t I? Alien brain right?”

“Would ya quit it with the ‘I’m an alien’ schtick?” Applejack asked.

“Nope!” Pinkie said in complete honesty.

Applejack sighed.

Rarity frowned. “Well… what do we do now?”
“I’ll tell you what!” A loud voice said from above them. The three mares looked up to see a flash of rainbow crash from the sky. The three backed away from what they realized was a pegasus - a pegasus with a cutlass and an outfit similar to the ones the other pirates were wearing. “You’re going to tell me what on earth made you think you could steal my ship!” As she spoke, more pirates began to walk onto the ship, looking angry. A few had drawn cutlasses.

Applejack rammed her face into a wooden pole. “Great. Just great. Knew this was a bad idea…”
Rarity got a look in her eyes. She quickly reached into her suitcase, taking out her crown and a pendant. She put her hoof to her chest and let out an official sounding “ahem.” “I am Princess Rarity of Trotton - and I implore you to allow us passage on your amazing vessel to the Wind Shrine. We are terribly sorry about trying to steal your ship, but we needed to hurry to the shrine - my mother is in danger.”

Applejack’s jaw dropped. “Princess of Trotton? Wait, your mother? QUEEN LUNA? Words.. not workin… from mouth…”

Pinkie was much less surprised. “Oh. A princess. Whoop.”

The rainbow pegasus was silent for a while, staring intently at the pendant around Rarity’s neck, analyzing it. Applejack presumed the pegasus wanted to figure out how much the fancy necklace was worth.

The pegasus shook her head and laughed. “Ah Princess of Trotton? You’ll be worth quite a lot I bet! It’s amazing how money just walks into my lap - I must be just that awesome.”

“Yes you are captain.” One of the pirates offered. The captain facehooved. She hated suck-ups.

“Anyway…” She said. “The name’s Captain Rainbow Dash, and you are all on my ship. So that makes you all my prisoners! Tie em up and toss em in the brig!”

“Aye-aye captain!”

There wasn’t really much the three mares could do - they were outnumbered and on a boat. Applejack wondered if Pinkie’s giant hammer would do anything but she never took it out.

They were unceremoniously tied up, and had most their belongings taken from them. Rainbow Dash did let Rarity keep her crown for the moment though - on the condition that it remained upside down. Rarity didn’t argue. She did think it was a fashion statement, after all.

~~~

“Well I am sorry for not telling you that I was the Princess, but you do understand?” Rarity was saying.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “For the last time I’m not mad at you for that! Just common sense not to tell people unless you have to.”

“But I am sorry-“

“For the love of smoking varmints would you just stop apologizing?”

Rarity soured up. “Fine. Be that way. I’ll mope to myself in this corner over here with my crown…”

“Your upsidown crown.”

“It’s a fashion statement!”

Pinkie grumbled from the other side of the brig. “Whose dumb idea was it to steal this ship anyway…”

Applejack’s eye twitched. “Who? Who??? It was your idea!”

Pinkie blinked, then closed her eyes like she had a headache. “Ooooh… Oooh… Head hurts… Can’t remember…”

“That’s convenient.”

“I know right?” Pinkie said, brightening up.

There was silence in the brig.

“So…” Applejack said. “What now?”

“We stay tied up and wait.” Pinkie offered. “What else can we really do?”

“Well Rarity’s a unicorn. She could untie the knots…”

“Tried that already dears.” Rarity said. “Evidentially they’ve had to detain unicorns before. The rope is anti-telekinetic.”

“Can’t powerful unicorns move those anyway?”

“Yes.” Rarity said, cocking her head.

“You’re the daughter of Queen Luna! How could you not be a powerful unicorn?”

“Er… Magic was never my forte…” Rarity said, a little embarrassed.

“So yer tellin’ me that the best wizard we have is the crazy pink mare over there? That just fills me with confidence.”

“Hey!” Pinkie retorted. “It’s alien powers! Not magic.”

“Oh good gravy not this again…”

In a room a few meters away, Rainbow Dash stood at her private dining table. She didn’t feel like eating with the men today - she felt like contemplating things. She frowned to herself, reaching into her pirate tunic pocket, taking out a pendant. She held it up to the one taken from Rarity.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe what she was seeing. They were identical.

Why on earth did the Princess of Trotton have the same pendant as her?

~~~

The next morning, the ship was sailing… somehow. The movement of the ship gave the illusion of wind, and Rainbow Dash let it flow through her mane. It wasn’t the same as the real breeze - but it was something.

She sighed. Flying just wasn’t the same anymore - without the wind it was… boring. Depressing even. Nothing up there to keep her occupied. It was just air. And even the air itself seemed lifeless.

She heard her crew bringing up the three prisoners, and she put on a cheeky grin. “So… what do you three think I’m going to do with you?”

Applejack frowned. “Well… since you’re pirates I expect you’re going to auction off Rarity to Trotton, and keep Pinkie around because she might be useful, and toss me overboard because i’m worth nothing.”

Rainbow Dash smirked. “Wow, if this had been another day you might’ve been right. But!” She said, taking off into the air and spreading her wings. “I’ve decided that I feel like being the good guy today. Everyone? Untie them, we’re heading to the Wind Shrine.”

The crew’s jaws all dropped simultaneously. Rainbow Dash flapped her wings a few times before glaring at the lot of them. “I said we’re heading to the Wind Shrine! And for you to untie them! Have you all gone deaf maggots?”

“No Cap’n!”

“Good.” She said, landing back on the ship’s deck. “Let’s go find ourselves a Queen.”

Applejack frowned as she was untied. She walked up to Rainbow Dash. “Why are you helping us?” She asked.

Rainbow Dash huffed. “Can’t I feel like being nice for once? I’m a pirate - perhaps stealing things and being “ARRRR” all the time gets a little old.”

Applejack didn’t believe a word of that but she didn’t press the issue, she simply went back to
Pinkie, who was stringing balloons onto the pirate ship.

“What in tarnation are you doing?”

“I’m getting ready for a party.” She grinned. “Soon, we will celebrate our newfound friends!”

“Okay then…”

Rarity walked up to Rainbow Dash. “Quick question… how are we moving without wind?”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Do you really want to know?”

“Yes, the curiosity has been eating at me for the last day or so.”

“Well alrighty then.” Rainbow Dash flew in front of the ship. “SPIKE! COME UP HERE!”

The water began to churn and the ship began to slow. Slowly, a gigantic purple and green shape rose out of the water in front of them, focusing its two reptilian eyes on the crew of the ship. Rarity, Applejack, and even Pinkie stared with jaws agape at the ship-sized sea creature.

“A… Sea dragon?” Rarity said, holding a hoof to her mouth. “How… how?”

Spike simply shrugged. “Found Rainbow here when she was just a little filly and I was pretty young myself. We grew up together on the waves. Kinda got shunned by both our races.”

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Turns out ponies run in terror from dragons, and dragons do not look kindly upon associations with other races.” She shrugged. “But it’s worked pretty well for us! Our ship was faster than any other with Spike pulling it, and now we are the only ship on the seas since the wind is gone. It’s been great for the pirating business. No more royal barges trying to hunt us down - we're pretty much free to plunder any port town we come across! Bro’s just bundles of awesome!”

Rarity was still staring, jaw slack. Spike let out a laugh at this. “Think they’ll get used to me?”

“YOU ARE AWESOME!” Pinkie said, bouncing around crazily. Rainbow Dash laughed heartily.

“That’s a yes right there.”

~~~

Hours later, the ship (which was simply named “Spike’s Saddle”) sailed into Breezie Bay. It was covered in balloons, confetti, cake, and the jolly sound of loud pirate singing could be heard far from the ship itself. Spike was even joining in, his voice sounding rather unusual from under the water, but somehow complementing the pirate voices.

Rarity wasn’t quite sure what to make of the party. At the start she thought it was just Pinkie trying to get on the pirates’ good side by giving them drink and song - but eventually even Applejack was drawn into the festivities. She wondered if she was just too stuffy to appreciate a party of this sort, or if she was surrounded by a bunch of lunatics. Perhaps both.

Or maybe it was just Pinkie being Pinkie… A phrase Rarity had found she’d said to herself several times over the last few hours. She shook her head - she had a headache.

Spike roared from under the water. “We’ve arrived!”

Pinkie stopped the party instantly. “And now we head towards the Wind Shrine! Who’s coming with us?”

Rainbow Dash looked at the crew incredulously. “Seabreeze and Amethyst, you’re with us.” A blue pegasus and purple-pink unicorn nodded. “The rest of you may continue to party with Spike. See you later bro.”

“Bring us lots of plunder from the Shrine!” Spike said, laughing.

Rarity gasped. “You wouldn’t dare-“

Rainbow Dash smirked at her. “Just because I’m being nice doesn’t mean I’m not still a pirate princess.”

“The audacity-!”

“Do you want to go back into the brig?” Seabreeze asked, flaring her wings. Amethyst chuckled and the two pirates hoofbumped. Rarity’s eye simply twitched.

The six of them trotted along the path to the wind shrine, five laughing and talking about how awesome the party was while a certain princess walked in the rear, grumbling to herself about the uncouth nature of pirates.

Soon, they arrived at the giant stone double doors of the Wind Shrine. Six great marble columns stood in the front, and the pediment was covered in relief sculptures of a time long forgotten. Many were images of griffons and ponies fighting in endless wars - a common theme of structures as large as the Wind Shrine. Though most prominent was the highest image, a carving of the Wind Crystal itself, standing above all others - even the alicorns.

“Well.” Rainbow Dash said, causing everyone to go quiet. “Here we are.”

“When you open the door expect a lot of wind to come rushing out.” Applejack noted. “It blew me over last time.”

Rainbow Dash smirked. “I’d love to see it try that on me!” She bucked the doors, and they slid open with a rumbling sound.

There was no wind. The air was completely still and musty. Rainbow Dash shivered - the air felt even worse in here. She knew Seabreeze could feel it too.

“Well…” Applejack said, stepping forward. “I guess we go in…?”

Comments

[IAmApe]

now we are the only ship on the seas since the wind is gone. It’s been great for the pirating business.

That makes no sense at all. If there are no ships to rob, there's no opportunity for piracy.

[Ri2]

Spike?! Oh dear, this doesn't bode well for him.

[Always Breakfast]

7407888
Pirates pirate more than ships, mate. Also, stranded ships.

[the other sans]

PINKIE!!!!.
Your upsidown crown
and toss me overboard because i’m worth nothing

1. Extra fullstop.
2. Upsidedown. Unless this was intentional.
3. Forgot to capitalise.

Applejack didn’t believe a word of that but she didn’t press the issue, she simply went back to
Pinkie, who was stringing balloons onto the pirate ship

Accidental paragraphing.

I'll be honest, I thought it was going to be Tank and him being a Genbu. I was wrong, so very very wrong. And am going to be very very sad.