Twilight gets help from Pinkie Pie to make a 'Girly Potion' as a prank for Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie might of misunderstood some of the instruction when making the potion... oh well, what's the worst that could happen.
“Well, she was my first choice, but thinking about it… I would place her more in the ‘Lady’ or ‘Woman’ category. I’m only going to use a small amount of hair from a brush I borrowed.” Twilight says.
Ooh I hope Opalescence's hair isn't mixed in with that brush? Reading on...
Some basics with writing. First of all, you use full-stop punctuations way too much and not enough half commas. For example, this sentence:
"Wowzers, That's a great idea, especially for a first prank." Pinkie comments, "But... Potion making? I'm pretty sure you can handle that." She finishes, her smile returning to normal even though her excitement is through the roofs.
Should look something more like this;
"Wowzers, that's a great idea! Especially for a first prank," comments Pinkie "But... Potion making? I'm pretty sure you can handle that." Her smile returns to normal, even though her excitement Is through the roof!
7502293 Yep, she focused on one aspect when she should of given pinkie clear cut instructions so nothing bad goes wrong, and not knowing if the mixture is gonna explode or not just shows how unexperienced she is.
Honestly, this is just a random comment, but I need some help. Everytime I try to use the emoji keyboard, my phone crashes on me, so I have to type out the emojis like this: :rainbowlaugh : :pinkiecrazy : and things like that. Can someone give me the basic emoji codes so I don't have to wait for 5 minutes for the emoji keyboard to open up and crash my phone?
OH MY GOD, PINKIE IS CLUELESS!!!
Ooh I hope Opalescence's hair isn't mixed in with that brush? Reading on...
Some basics with writing.
First of all, you use full-stop punctuations way too much and not enough half commas. For example, this sentence:
Should look something more like this;
I have to put some of the blame on twilight on this. this is just bad science
7502293 Yep, she focused on one aspect when she should of given pinkie clear cut instructions so nothing bad goes wrong, and not knowing if the mixture is gonna explode or not just shows how unexperienced she is.
This sentence if you were to read it without a context.
"Beep boop. Now activating Cupcakes mode."
"You're the boss."
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw11252_small.png
bestmotivationalposters.com/images/this-funny-motivational-poster.jpg
"THAT is NOT a no"
I'm so smart.... Putting more than needed into the potion... Let's see how this will turn out.
Honestly, this is just a random comment, but I need some help. Everytime I try to use the emoji keyboard, my phone crashes on me, so I have to type out the emojis like this: :rainbowlaugh : :pinkiecrazy : and things like that. Can someone give me the basic emoji codes so I don't have to wait for 5 minutes for the emoji keyboard to open up and crash my phone?