The Angel in Red

by Inkquill

Act II, Scene I

THE ANGEL IN RED

By

Inkquill

Act II, Scene I

The jostling of the carriage shook Butterscotch back to awareness as they approached the end of their journey. The many days and nights on the road had been arduous, and the fatigue of travel weighed heavy on them, with the little cream Pegasus drifting in and out of awareness, though he couldn't seem to make himself sleep. Barbara had curled up to rest her eyes in Dusk’s lap as a few miles back on the road to Canterlot, but the rocking of the carriage didn’t seem to disturb her sleep. Dusk was as usual lost in one of his books to pass the time, though Butterscotch could tell from the crow’s feet that traced under his eyes that he desperately needed a comfortable place to sleep.

“Are we almost there?” Butterscotch asked as his lips curled back into a yawn, his tongue feeling dry as he did.

Dusk groaned a little as he closed the book and set it aside. “We should be there within the hour,” he said as he checked his pocket watch. “Ah… Solaris should be raising the sun by now…. I need sleep.”

“You-ahhhh~ took the words right out of my mouth.” Said Butterscotch through another yawn.

It was that they hear a ground rise up from the little Dragon, with Barbara picking herself up and rubbing her eyes as she did. “Can’t a girl get any sleep around here.” She said as she leaned into the seat, her emerald eyes opening wide and glancing out the window. “Hey… is it me or is the sun a little absent right now?”

“Oh… it’s just a bit cloudy.” Dusk reassured, trying to keep himself from passing out.” Pegasi just rolling in a little shade... “

“At this time of year?” Barbara retorted.

“Ugh! I don’t know Barbs… I can barely think straight. Just put the hay in the apple and eat the candle…” Dusk said as he finally succumbed to his exhaustion, his head slumping over, followed by heavy snoring.

“Ah great, he's loopy.” Barbara groaned, slapping her forehead.

Butterscotch shook his head with a sigh, leaning back into his seat as the carriage finally turned the corner that lead to Canterlot’s main gates. He could see the city walls and the high towers of the Royal palace rising above them. It was a welcomed sight. The familiarity of it brought a sense of calm to him. Even more so since his dreams the last few nights had been much more pleasant.

He remembered Eris and the kindness she had given him, going out of her way to house him and his friends and help him with his nightmares, he couldn't explain it in words but for the first time in a long while he felt simply… safe.

Suddenly the carriage jerked upwards, having his a loose stone in the cobbled streets as they entered Canterlot. There was an odd mist that hugged the sidewalks and alleyways but he didn't pay it much mind. They had just rounded the block onto the street where Dusk’s workshop was, the promise of a soft bed having been prioritized in his mind.

After a sluggish and tedious time unloading their bags from the carriage and paying the coachman his due payment, the exhausted band made their way into the door of Dusk’s private study, each having up to their rooms for some much needed rest.

Butterscotch was glad to see the familiar space as he made his way up the stairs, it was practically a second home for him aside from his childhood residence with Bluebell; he smiled at the thought at seeing her again. However as he entered his room and set his bags aside, he was struck by a sickening pain that lurched deep inside his stomach, as if a sharp blade of cold steel had been stuck through his gut.

“Oh no,” he whispered to himself, reaching into his pockets and back pockets in a panic. “Oh no no no no no!”

It was gone, his father’s silver ring was gone! “Oh Solaris please no!”

Butterscotch felt a bitter taste wash over his tongue as his breath drew shorter and shorter. Spinning around, he beat his wings and propelled himself down the stairs, nearly tripping as he came to the landing, and burst out the front door of the building, looking around frantically for the carriage. But it was too late, it was already gone.

Through the mist and grey air of the city streets he could barely even see half way down the block, only making out the outlines of ponies as they passed by.

“Oh no, no!” He shouted in his groggy voice. He has lost it! He had lost his father’s ring! Probably either left it in the carriage or perhaps even worse, left it behind in Geneighva in Eris’s villa. He felt sick to his stomach. What would Bluebell think? What would she say?!

“No, no! Calm down Butterscotch, calm down,” He told himself, “No need panicking like this. It’s not going to do anypony any good. Oh, but what if Bluebell finds out? She’ll be so hurt. Oh what am I going to do?!”

Defeated and utterly spent, Butterscotch sullenly returned to his bed chambers. He wasn’t thinking straight, he couldn’t think straight in his current state, that he knew. The best course of action would to get some rest and then decided what to do next.

Drawing his curtains shut and blowing out his candle, he slipped into his sheets and laid his head on his pillow; he stared up at the dim ceiling for a while before he felt his eyelids finally slink shut. At least he didn’t have to worry about nightmares…

---

Meanwhile…

The doors to the Sweet Apple Inn and Tavern burst open with a raucous laughter, as three large and heavily drunkard stallions stumbled out, two of which leaning against each other and belching out a hardy cackling laugh. Their clothes were worn and faded, their muzzles dressed in grizzled smiles as they shambled out onto the sidewalk. “Oh Solaris, I love drinking with you guys.” One of them said in slurred, half-baked voice.

One of them, an averagely built stallion with a light cream coat and chestnut mane splintered off from the other two and began an his way down the street, waving goodbye to his companions, “Okay guys I’ll see ya later.” He called to them as they went on their way.

He shook his head as he trotted on, trying to clear his mind so he could remember which way led back to his house. The thick fog wasn’t that much help either, along with his enamored state, but he was a persistent stallion, navigating the best he could until his ears perked up and swiveled towards a nearby alleyway.

“Ppst!” He heard,“Ppst!”

Turning towards the dark alley, he could see a figure standing near the corner of the left-hand building. Rubbing the grim from his eyes, he focused on the figure to see a young mare dressed wearing a red hood staring back at him with a tantalizing gaze.

“Late night good sir?” She said in a gentle, velvety voice. She looked young and fair to the stallion, with an alabaster coat and long honey-golden mane that highlighted her rich violet eyes perfectly; eyes that seemed to look him over with need.

“Y-yes mademoiselle,” He said in reply. “A long, late night.”

She giggled and smiled with a slight swivel of her hips as she turned away from him, looking over her shoulder with a seductive smile. “Oh my dear goodness, and all alone? That won’t do at all… wouldn’t you prefer some… company~?” She said, swishing her tail back and forth, fanning her scent to the enamored stud.

He felt the hair along his spine stand up as his nostrils flared, breathing in the sweet and zestful aroma. He shivered a bit as he felt heat begin to build between his haunches, the fire fanned by the posture of her flanks and softness in her voice.

“W-well… I suppose…” He said with a chuckle in the back of his throat.

She giggled in tern and slowly made her way into the alley, her figure melding with the darkness as she beckoned him on. “Follow me,” she teased.

He grinned as she called him, his hooves seemingly moving on their own accord as he followed her into the darkness. He pursued her down the alley for some way, lead on by her tantalizing voice, until finally his snout met a brick wall, catching him off guard.

He looked around confused, searching for where the mysterious mare had gone. “H-hello? Where’d you go?” He called out. No reply came. Only dead silence. He started to feel uneasy.

“Hey, is this a joke?!” He called out, again receiving no answer, unaware of the dark shadow looming over him. “Because this isn’t funny!”

Everything was dead still, not even the wind seemed to dare stir. Fear gripped the stallion’s heart, his eyes darting in every possible direction, searching for the mysterious mare, that is, until his ears perked up and swiveled behind him.

“Boo~”

There wasn’t a scream, there was no time for one as the stallion felt his throat forced shut as two hot needles shot into it. He felt his body go limp, the color in his face drain as he was pulled upwards with great force, disappearing out of sight. The air was deathly still again, just as from seemingly out of nowhere, down dropped a pocket watch. As it hit the ground it popped open, the glass cracked, showing the ticking clock and a photo of a mare and two fillies...

~To Be Continued~

Author's Note:

Hey guys, I know it's been a while since I last updated, but I'm getting back into it. I hope you enjoy this new chapter and I look forward to your thoughts and comments.

I wanted to get the suspense back up in this chapter even though its a bit short but anyway, thanks for reading!

Comments

[DisneyFanatic23]

So...is this Act II or Act I? I'm confused.

[Inkquill]

7908644 It's supposed to be Act II. I wasn't sure if when I got to Act II that I should start back to One, like Act II, Scene I.

Would that make it less confusing?

[Dark Nightshade]

Finally! Great chapter! Very suspenseful.

[Mix-up]

It's great to see more of this story again, I can't wait what will happen to Butterscotch with Aries prowling around. I wander what happened to those stallions after she was done with them? I can't wait to see what will come next.

[DisneyFanatic23]

7908691 That and calling it Act II instead of Act I.

[Inkquill]

7909081 oh derp. >.< Sorry that's a typo. My bad.

[Arkolo]

He remembered Eris and the kindness she had given him, going out of her way to house him and his friends and help him with his nightmares, he couldn't explain it in words but for the first time in a long while he felt simply… safe.

vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/icarly/images/9/9b/121499_-_animated_Discord_just_as_planned_macro_meme.gif/revision/latest?cb=20120602161024

Then the second half basically boils down to...

and nice alien vid there in the notes. Love the aliens ;D, but i'm not quite sure it's the same kind of feel...

For one, the alien gave no hints of seduction

two, there was no cat.

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/641/298/448.jpg

Three, the chapter did feel kind of short for suspense to really build up. It was what, only half the chapter? so 800 words or so. Though I see you seem aware of that in the author notes... anyway, While I would say your description of the scene is overall good. I didn't really get a feeling of peril. Though the locket drop at the end was sad... It kind leaves me with mixed feelings.

Personally I would suggesting buttering up the sympathy factor on this random character. Paint him as a good guy rather than some drunk chasing skanks, it kinda lowers the sympathy value. The locket only shows he would be betraying his family, thus I don't feel so bad for his demise, thus fear that the vampire might go after decent people is diminished.

Perhaps if she feigned distress instead and took advantage of innocence, it would be scarier. I kinda want to be left feeling uneasy, and fearful of who the vampire might target next. If you made the stallion out to have a better character, then I might fear for our other characters more.

Again, all just commentary and opinions. Though i hope this helps if you were aiming for a specific feel.