4-Dragons and Cultists
I sat there on Warrior’s back staring at the Crystal Grave before he layed me on the snow due to my stupid body still refusing to move. While laying in the cold snow I began to think of the past two days I mean like in the first couple hours I killed a giant crab creature, the next day I killed a lot of those zombie pony things that Ten called ghouls. Thinking about the ghouls reminded me of the fact I tried to kill Ten when I lost control.
“Hey Seven did you hear me?” Ten asked snapping me out of my thoughts. “I asked are you hungry?”
“Uh yes,” I answered glumly as I managed to push myself into a sitting position. Ten handed me a few small red berries about three-eighths of an inch in diameter, I popped one into my mouth and quickly spit it out it was the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. “Ugh what the hell are those.”
“Um they are Crystal Berries I know they are kinda too sweet but I thought you would like them due to you loving sweets,” Ten said shocked at the fact I didn’t like the berries.
“Huh I guess the past couple hundred years messed up my taste buds.” I said with a frown staring at the ground.
“What is wrong seven?” Ten asked with concern. “You have been acting strangely since we met up as in you are not acting like your usual upbeat and optimistic self.” I did not answer her I simply laid back down on the snow and went to sleep.
200 years after the war
Three days before Operation: Cauterize is put into motion
I let out a yawn of boredom as I walked through the remains of a large city that must have been important before the war, but I didn’t care about that I needed to do something about my intense boredom and fast before I blow my brains out. With a sigh I sat down and reached into my bag and pulled out good ol’ Outcast. Which surprisingly isn’t rusted from two hundred years of constant use must be the magic aspect of it. Setting Outcast aside I found what I was looking for a case of cigars I purchased from the last town I was in.
Pulling a cigar from the case, I bit one end off and spit it out I put it into my mouth and used a lighter I got off a mercenary who killed some griffon raider and was celebrating at a bar and tried to get me to accompany him for the night which led him to getting neutered by a radscorpion. I let out a light giggle as i remember the look of his face when it happened too.
With a cigar in my mouth I grabbed my gun lifted my black jacket and put it in its holster on my right hind leg over the dark red skin tight suit I am wearing. After putting my saddlebag back on I heard the sound of something digging underneath my hooves but before I could move a large hellhound burst from the ground and slashed me across the chest tearing my jacket to shreds.
“Hey if you wanted to fight you could've just asked,” I said in an enthusiastic tone looking at the hellhound with a happy grin spread across my face which grew with glee as ten more showed up. “NOW IT’S A REAL PARTY!” I yelled in glee as the one in front of me pounced at me, grabbing the remains of my jacket in my teeth, I ripped it off and flung it into the face of the hellhound blinding him.I quickly jumped out of the way causing the hellhound to crash into the one behind me I reached for my revolver and grabbed it but as I pulled it out a beam of magic struck my hoof causing me to drop my revolver. Before they attacked I heard crying which snapped me out of my imaginary brawl with hellhounds.
My eyes shot toward the sound of crying, to a sealed safety pod next to a collapsed market. As i approached the safety pod the crying became distinctly obvious that it was a little filly that was crying. I knocked on the safety pod lightly only to hear a little eep from the little filly inside.
“Hello there are you hurt little one?” I asked the filly who seemed to refused to answer so I continued. “My name is…” I paused when the pod slid open revealing a small orange pegasus filly with a fuchsia and neon pink mane and tail that had a militaristic styling which showed she more than likely was part of the Enclave or was a Ranger trainee that might have run away.”...Seven.” The little pony squeaked before backing away looking terrified and slammed the container shut again.
“Kid just chill, I am not gonna hurt you just wanted to know if you were ok,” I said with a friendly voice sitting down next to the pod.
“I am fine now leave me alone before they hurt you like they did to the ponies in this town,” the filly said trying to scare me away or maybe warn me.
“Well whoever they are can try to hurt me but they are more likely to get hurt,” I laughed pulling out another cigar putting it in my mouth and lit it with the green aura that extends from my hooves. “So what's your name kid.”
“Sky Blazer and your’s?”
“I already said it was Seven you really weren’t listening to me, were you,” I giggled staring at the destroyed buildings. “Hey Sky I want to know about who you're talking about, who hurt the ponies here?”
“The Grand Pegasus Enclave did they are after me,” The filly’s voice was shaking with fear.
“Why are they after you? You don’t look like somepony that the Enclave would go after without reason.” I stated as i exhaled the cigar smoke into the shape of a ring.
“I...I am just somepony who escaped from the cloud layer and c...came to the surface,” The filly lied which is clear from the shakiness of her voice.
“I don’t like liers, tell me the truth or I will seal you in there,” I lied about the sealing her in there but she clearly believed it.
“Fine I have blueprints to a weapon they plan on using it against the whole of Equestria with it. I didn’t believe in what they were doing so I stole it and planned to bring it to the Rangers and maybe give them a chance at stopping it,” Sky said truthfully though she seemed to be hiding something else but I let it slide.
“So you plan to cross the entire wasteland to give the Rangers a fighting chance how noble, but let me be the first to tell you that it is too dangerous for you-” I started but was interrupted by Sky.
“I don’t care if it is dangerous, I have to help them what the Enclave is going to do is wrong, even if I-.”
“Let me finish I was saying it is too dangerous for you,” I said seriously getting up and pressed the button on the side of the pod sliding the door open startling the young filly. “And what reasonable adult would let a cute little filly go by themselves.”
“Wait you mean…”
“Yep I will help you get the blueprints to the Rangers,” I said with a smile as Sky was dumbfounded by the fact I was willing to help a complete stranger.
“Why do you want to help me?” she asked nervously shuffling her hooves.
“Simple it is the right thing to do,”
Waking up from my odd dream/memory it wasn’t familiar but it seemed so real, any way odd dreams aside I looked next to me I spotted Ten staring at the moon. “Seven I know you’re awake I need to talk to you about something,” Ten said to me not even turning to look at me.
“Sure thing Ten,” I said getting up off ground and slowly walked next to Ten.
“I wanna know something,” Ten stated turning to look me in the eye. “Where have you been the past four hundred years?”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked confused.
“I have been looking for you since the Yakyakastan mission,” Ten explained her eyes showing resentment though i didn’t notice it at the time..
“I don’t know where I was my memory has been a bit fuzzy, from what I can recall though the first two hundred years I wandered the wastelands hyped up on all the excessive magic from the mega spells though it is possible that could have been my imagination,”I explained placing a hoof on my chin. “And i know for a fact I woke up in our old abandoned base near here and saved by a purple unicorn named Fix It.”
“Wait a minute you saw Fix It!” Ten exclaimed startling Warrior who jumped up from his slumber lifting his giant warhammer ready for battle he then noticed it was only Ten so he went back to sleep.
“Yeah she was with me before Warrior caught me,” I said with a shrug and was almost immediately tackled by Ten.
“Where is she!” Ten yelled as she held me to the ground. “Where is Fix It!?” it was then I noticed this wasn’t how the Ten I know would act.
“Get off of me!” I yelled kicking her off with my hind legs sending her flying but using her wings she stopped herself from getting too far. I watched as her body burst into pink flames I soon felt pain as Warrior brought his hammer to my side sending me a good ten feet away.
“Warrior knew pony would be trouble now Warrior smash!” He yelled bringing his hammer downward toward me I quickly rolled out of the way and onto my hooves. But Warrior was quicker than I thought as he hit me with the hammer again sending me towards the Crystal Grave. “Ponies never stand a chance against Warrior the strongest in the north!” He yelled raising his hammer to bring it down on my head, I closed my eyes and braced for death.
I then heard a loud bang and a heavy thud on the ground as Warrior fell to the ground dead. Before I could sigh in relief though Ten flew into sight or what I thought was ten. She was a massive golden manticore, she flew at me and was hit by a cannonball fired from the Crystal Grave. Ten roared ferociously as she turned her attention to the Grave it was here the pain from being hit by the massive yak’s hammer finally kicked in causing me to pass out from the pain.
“Sister are you okay?” A raspy voice asked me through the darkness of my unconsciousness. “She is unresponsive brother.”
“Quickly we need-” Another more baritone voice started but stopped when my eyes shot open. I was quickly blinded by a bright light that hung above me. Blinking a few times I was able to see again and saw that I was in the middle of a crumbling hospital room with two ghouls on in a nurse hat while the other wore magic armor made of crystal ore.
“Who are you? Where am I?” I asked the two ghouls who looked at me with their sunken eyes. One was a mare looking ghoul while the other was a large crystal pony stallion with a cracked coat.
“Don’t worry sister we are the followers of the Dragon's Flame, and you are at the medical center in the kingdom,” The mare answered with her raspy voice that grated against my ears.
“What my associate means is her name is Starry Flint,” The crystal stallion corrected. “My name is Defiant Barding, and I am the leader of the followers of the Dragon’s Flame.”
“Okay I have one more question, why does Starry Flint keep calling me sister?” I asked looking at the aquamarine stallion.
“All ghouls are brothers and sisters to the Followers,” Starry Flint answered with a friendly smile but I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact they thought I was a ghoul. “What so funny?”
“You guys think I am a ghoul that's just funny,” I said between giggles.
“But you are a ghoul aren’t you?” Starry Flint asked confused staring at me with a puzzled look.
“Nah but thanks for the help those two would have ended me for sure,” I said with a smile as I hopped off the bed and for some odd reason feeling like i was never hit by a large sledgehammer to the chest. “And I feel great.”
“Sorry but you won’t be for very long,” Defiant said but before I could ask him what he meant I felt a sharp pain in my neck and a slight burning sensation before I fell to the ground unconscious.
When I awoken from my drug induced slumber I found myself chained to a large stone pillar in the middle of a large coliseum. Looking at the stands I saw hundreds of ghoul ponies in the stands watching me cheering and the sounds of ceremonial drums pounding. I began to struggle against the heavy chains but they did not even budge. Mare you need to stop getting knocked out it is getting annoying, I thought as I stopped struggling against the chains, deciding to reserve my strength for when I get free again so I can escape this stupid place.
I was content to just wait there but then the ground shook as a mighty roar came from within the ground. What in Equestria was that? I asked myself but I soon got my answer as a large white draconian hand burst through the ground of the coliseum. It was quickly followed by the rest of the dragon as it rose toward the sky. The crowd began cheering that is when I realised what was happening, they are sacrificing me to a dragon.
“Oh hell no!” I exclaimed as I tried to break free again but I stopped as the dragon took a closer look at me and me it. The dragon was pure white with long purple spines that gave the dragon a more feminine look, and lastly the eyes were a beautiful crystal blue that held a bit of familiarity to them. As i looked into the eyes an image came into my mind an image of a beautiful unicorn mare with a silver white coat with a short regal purple pixie cut mane that framed her chrystal blue eyes. “Twenty-three,” I whispered and the dragon’s eyes widened slightly meaning it heard me it back away and raised its massive claws ready to slash I closed my eyes tightly thinking it was my end.
When I felt the chains fall away I opened my eyes and saw that I somehow moved to a large cave surrounded by crystals of all shapes, sizes and colors. I looked up at the dragoness who brought me here and smiled. “It has been a while hasn’t it Twenty-Three?” I said to the dragoness.
“I agree Balefire darling,” She said in a prim and proper voice, Wait did she say Balefire? “ it must have been a while since you called me Twenty-Three instead of Radiant Geode.”
“Wait why did you call me Balefire?” I asked confused looking at the dragoness.
“Oh I was expecting a question about why am I a dragon,” She stated plainly. “Well I called you Balefire because it is your name.”
End of Chapter.
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7374583
one part is already in the description
The Northern wastes a place once believed to be completely void of life aside from ghouls in what used to be the Crystal Empire and the frost Mirelurks who live in the frigid waters of the frozen sea.
not well structured sentence, you should rewrite that. ima give an example.
The Norther wastes. A place which used to be the glamorous Crystal Empire, now void of life aside from infestations of ghouls and frost Mirelurks who live in the frigid waters of the frozen sea.
very few knew of it’s existence until the Outcast and the Forgotten Knights made themselves known to the Equestrian wasteland.
Before that, the Stable laid there buried under the snow with only two living inhabitants both in cryogenic sleep.
(needs a rewrite, from this sentence i would have first believed that the "Outcasts and the forgotten Knights" came out of the stable. So... did they break in? did they discover the stable? are those two factions or just one?
Since your story isn´t too long, i could give it a proofreading in the next week if you wanna. Don´t expect miracles, I´m new in the reviewing thing and english isn´t my first language, but i can certainly give you some pointers.
7816985
Alright will edit it soon.
Okay this one I will edit soon. The Forgotten Knights are the existing faction within the "Stable" As for the Outcasts they come in later but neither come from the "stable".
7817010
how is there a faction in a stable with only two frozen ponies?
7817011
It is from way before the great war The Forgotten Knights Built the "Stable" And the inhabitants are members of the forgotten Knights
7817022
I wouldnt call two ponies a faction, really...
on another note, do you want that review? cause im drunk right now and i might not offer it anymore once i sober up
What's with the big, bold, capitalized title?
7817028
The review would be appreciated.
Also there are more than two members of the forgotten Knight faction there are Thirty-One.
7817040
Where?
7817041
alright, first thing to note, and i didnt even read the story, you don´t use commas alot, do you? Second, if you don´t already do that, write your chapters in Google Docs first and then import that into fimfiction. One has a spellcheck. one doesn´t. Even your english is good, you still better have a spellcheck.
7817040
Oh never mind I realized what you were talking about.
I will admit I kind of had the caps lock on when I typed it
7817053
I do use G-docs I also know I do not use commas a lot and I am working on it