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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm glad there is pictures in this story because descriptions are confusing and hard for my pea brain to understand. it's not like stories are supposed to describe things to the reader or anything.
8758927
Your welcome sir to me pictures just seem to make it easier when something is being described so everyone knows what your talking about
There is no such thing as a half-long-sword. It's either a longs-word, broadsword or short-sword. The pic above shows a two-handed sword, making it a long sword. Please fix, it's triggering all the other types of swords. Including my butterknife.
8828806
I will make the change post haste
8828806
The change has been made
Read this chapter, and cannot help but ask: someone as armored and strange as him didn't raise any suspicions while going to the train station?
I find this hard to believe - considering how the ponies reacted to Zecora, who looked similar to them yet had differences.
Another point: were did he get the currency to pay for the ticket? Or did he climb the train as it lurched to move, becoming a non-paying passenger?
The last part feels rushed, but besides that and the need for an editor or proofreader to fix some issues in the narrative, I find this story to be quite interesting.
I will read the rest available and track it.
May you have a nice day.
8858569
I do have an editor however this chapter was written before i had my editor so there was bound to be many mistakes
8858578
Yup, The addition makes this part much clearer.
I'd advice you describing a bit more as to how he managed to get into downtown without getting seen. A spell perhaps?
Other than that, it is nice to see a writer that seeks to improve himself.
8858694
I shall make a note both mental and physical to make this change
I love what he did for luna to his own armor
seem interesting and unique so far also loved the picture and the game it is from