• Published 19th Jun 2012
  • 2,244 Views, 155 Comments

Cutting Ties - fic Write Off

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Eternal darkness had no disorder, it was more orderly than anything. Imprisonment was one punishment, but lack of chaos was a brutal blow to add on. I had never hurt a pony in my life, yet she insisted on keeping me frozen in a stone prison. It was her last resort, and she did well in hiding that fact. I was condemned to watch the world around in my stationary position, only because Celestia could not find another way.

That was one thousand years ago, my imprisonment. Fast forward one thousand years later and everypony that knew me is dead and gone, all the books are burned, and she teaches that I'm evil. In her little perfect world of "harmony" she couldn't find even the most minute of corners for chaos, and quashed all of it that she could find. I should have known, too. Her words echoed in my head, all of them. Every sentence that she spoke to me came gushing back as if the dam had just been broken, but that happened every time I switched my focus to her. I couldn't stop it, I'd spend months building up the dam and one moment of thought about her would break it down. If only I could keep it from breaking, I would, but in the back of my mind there was something that kept her alive in me, something that tied me to her.

Memories flowed back to me as the water held back behind the dam came to the forefront of my thoughts. Back before I was encased in bitter resentment, back when Celestia's affection was all I cared for. Back before I was held in contempt of her. There was silence all around me, the statue that Celestia had placed me in was her final act. At its beginning, I was simply pawning for her affection, to see if a simple draconequus could win the heart of the pony that caught his eye.

"Oh Discord, you're so funny!"

I could hear her laughter, audible and crisp in the silence of the stone walls. She enjoyed it, the chaos and absurdity that I could conjure were humorous to her, and from that moment on I was hooked. I was chasing an unreachable goal, visiting her when in her castle whenever I had the chance, finding some way to make her giggle or laugh. She hid her face when she laughed, as if she didn't want to ruin her regal exterior. She would turn and hide her grin, as I watched, already thinking of my next retort or action.

The memories hit me faster and faster, flooding my mind.

I pushed open the castle door.

"Celestia!" I sang out, poking my head into the room. It was the dining room like always, the same one I had seen a thousand time before.

"Coming!" she called back, using the same sing-song tone I had used. I smiled and set my bouquet of flowers onto the table, brushing off the white cloth and straightening it out as I waited. Then she swept into the room, the embodiment of beauty. I felt as though I should hide the flowers, put them out of sight as they were not worthy enough for her. I remembered those feelings like they were yesterday.

Yes, every date, every picnic, every dinner, the same feelings. Love. But she didn't feel the same way. In my mind I squeezed my fist tight, but the stone prevented it. My blood was hot, the memories of love and happiness were glazed with my knowledge of the future. Back then it was just innocent visits and dates, two immortal beings enjoying life together. At least that was what it was for me.

She sighed, and nuzzled her way into my lap. My lanky body was propped up against the tree, the shade reaching out into the grass and keeping us cool. She was tired after the long walk from the castle to the field. She let out a sigh, her eyes closed. I couldn't help but look down and smile at her, out of all the ponies and other creatures in Equestria she had chosen me.

But she hadn't chosen me, the Discord of my past didn't know better, but I knew. I was cast into my stone casing because of I was chosen by her. Her precious harmony was all that mattered. Those six words: loyalty, laughter, honesty, kindness, generosity and magic.

"Their quite interesting, those elements," she said, her eyes still closed. I took a deep breath, looking out into the sky. The elements of harmony. Celestia mentioned them often, even though I was the spirit of the reverse. Chaos had no place in harmony, but without it harmony couldn't exist.

I snapped my fingers, producing a flash of white light and then a rose. A rose made of red cotton candy and green lickerish. I handed it to her, tapping her head gently so that she would look up.

That's when it began. I tried to squeeze my fist again, as if the pressure I applied would break open the stone. I heard her voice the clearest now, the three words that I could never forget.

"That's very... odd," she said.

"Really," I said, taking the flower away from her face and behind my back. She started to stand up, pushing herself off of the ground with the help of her wings. I reached my lion arm, attempting to pull her back into my grasp, but it was no use.

"I think we should call it a day," she said. I didn't respond. I just looked at her trot away, my mind breaking down what could have gone wrong. Each detail was run over, scrutinized. Absurdity was funny, and always had been funny to her. Absurdity was my talent, it was what I lived for.

The memories were tangible. With nothing to look at but pure darkness my thoughts projected on the screen that the void created. I forced myself to watch my past.

All I could do was passively watch myself fail one time after another. She stopped laughing at chaos, absurdity had lost its humor. She spoke even more of her precious harmony. Each day was busier and busier for her, filled with urgent meetings and full schedules.

"Meeting in the garden tonight," I said, combing the small bit of hair that hung from my chin. An event that we had planned months before. It was finally time, and although her schedule was always full that other days this had been on the calender for a long time, and it meant finally seeing Celestia again.

With a snap of my fingers, I vanished out of the room, and reappeared in the garden. I looked at the sun. I wasn't late. With another snap of my fingers I added a bow tie to my outfit, which was nothing before the bow tie, and straightened it out as quickly as possible. Celestia would be arriving at any moment.

Had the stone not been around my eyes, a tear would have fell off of the cold stone as I watched myself stand in the garden. There I was, waiting for the love that would never come. I stood all night, and finally flew to the Canterlot castle in search of her, only to be blocked off by guards. I only caught a glimpse of her in her room as they ushered me away, claiming she was sleeping.

That was the good memory I had of Celestia. I was only a disturbance, a rift in the harmony that Celestia wanted to engulf Equestria. I was too random, too chaotic, too absurd for her.

I pitied myself, watching the memories in which I went to the castle every day in search of her, only to be told she was off doing this or that. I wanted so badly to hit something, but Celestia final act kept me from doing anything. There, in the void, where the memories played so vividly, the gears in my heart shifted. They churned out the love and replaced it with anger. With nothing but memories to look at it did not take long to find that anger. Desire for revenge consumed me inside the stone, and that desire turned to motivation.

"Celestia! Come out!" I yelled. Guards rushed forth to push me away, but I had had enough of their resistance. They stood still, stuck in piles of cotton candy. Celestia peered out of the window and at me, watching me freeze her guards in place.

"Discord, stop this!"

"Just come talk to me!" I shouted. I felt like screaming at her, but I couldn't be harsh with her. There was something in my heart that kept me from resorting to brutality when it came to her. No matter how much I wished to yell at her for avoiding me, and keeping away, I held back.

"Discord, this needs to stop." She flew outside, demanding that I let go of her guards. With a snap of my fingers the cotton candy disappeared, and the guards stood still but alert as Celestia came down to the ground.

"What is all this about, Discord."

"Why have you been avoiding me? I just want to talk to you."

"There is nothing to explain Discord. I wish to keep peace and harmony in Equestria and by being around the spirit of chaos itself there is no way to do that. I tried to get you to realize that we could not be together, but you haven't gotten the message it seems."

My gaze hardened and my fist clenched. Harmony? All she did was speak of harmony. Anger welled up inside of me. Not at her, I couldn't be angry at her, but at the need for harmony.

"There is no need for harmony all the time, dear, sometimes chaos can be good. Look," I said. I brought the clouds in the sky together and made them pink, and frantically searching for more examples, I turned the roads leading up to the castle into soap.

"Discord, there is no room for chaos here," she said. My heart shattered. I was chaos, and if there was no room for it, there was no room for me. Out of blind fury I summoned a flash of lightning. I didn't wish to hurt anypony, but being unable to win Celestia's heart had destroyed my own.

The memories became blurry from that point on. All I could see was some more flashes of lightning, and then Celestia calling for someone. Another flash of light, but no lightning, and then darkness. The same darkness I had been staring at for a thousand years.

Every now and then, I would observe what I could from the statue I sat in. As a spirit, I could oversee the events that happened in Equestria, but was always brought back to the darkness. I watched Celestia banish her sister, removing the only other bearer of the elements of harmony. The very objects that had imprisoned me. She knew that without a connection to the elements of harmony, I would break out of my stone prison. She was smart, I watched her pick out knew guardians. Ponies that could put me back into stone if I ever got out.

She had cut the rope that held us together long ago, and never wanted to tie it together again. She even taught that I was evil, that I had deserved the imprisonment. But now, I do not feel the love that had attached me to Celestia. Before I had begged and pleaded for it, but all those feelings were gone.

I hear a mental snip. All ties with my past self fall apart. I let out a cackle, a crazy cackle about a joke that only I understand. Old Discord and his memories fade to gray. They are no longer a part of me. All the love that I had once felt shifted into resentment. Once a lover, I am now an immortal spirit. Celestia's love of "hamony" no longer binds me. What had once been only my source of humor is now my weapon. Chaos.

I continue to laugh. Nopony can hear me, the stone that they see is a quiet and motionless statue. But I know better than that. She wishes to keep me inside my stone prison forever, teaching that I am evil and that I deserve that punishment that I had received.

All the memories are gone. I can feel the spell becoming weaker with each day. Celestia is prepared, she knows that one day I will escape, but I am different now. Harmony beat me in the past because Old Discord connected himself to Celestia. But my past is gone. Harmony is no match for unbridled chaos.

There is a crack, I see light flood into the darkness. After a millennium of watching, and waiting, the door is open. I smile, and clench my fist. But this time it is not because I am angry, or sad, but because I am finally going to get what I desired. Celestia had made one mistake when she had removed chaos from her life.

She had not cut the rope, but burned the bridge. And now when she tries to cross over it again, there will be no bridge.

The stone cracked some more, the spell breaking under my will. There was nothing to hold me back. My mind was cleansed of anything my past self felt, all the ties were cut.

There is a second where the rock stops cracking, and then it bursts open. I am free.

I stretch out every muscle of my body, opening my jaw and flapping my wings. I let out another laugh. My mind is filled with chaos, absurdity. All my thoughts jumble together.

I fly off in search of the elements of harmony. Celestia would watch as I tore down her precious harmony, show her how I felt. She did not want harmony and chaos to coexist, and she would have her wish.

There is a twinge in my heart. I suddenly stop flying, look back at my stone casing.

I see Celestia in my mind again.

A small thread had been left alone. The scissors had not cut all the way through.