Cutting Ties

by fic Write Off

Disqualified Entrant: Grand

This submission was disqualified for reason: Below minimum word count (1000).

Author: Dayanto

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Her heart was rushing, it was almost time now. The planks beneath her feet, the fabric in the curtain before her, everything suddenly felt so real, more than anything had ever felt before. Turning her head to either side, she concluded once again that she was all on her own. Soon the curtains would open, drenching the stage in light. All of which would be pointed at her. And all around, the eyes of many hundreds of ponies would follow. She took a deep breath. It was only a matter of time now. Then suddenly, everything was bright. From the edge of her consciousness, she could vaguely sense the traces a massive applause. The light just grew stronger, engulfing her entire being, taking her far away. Then, as quickly as it all had started, everything turned quiet.

Slowly opening her eyes, the moonlight seemed blinding, seeking its way in through the window of the tree house. Silently yawning, Sweetie Belle sat herself upright. Lights, there had been something about lights… But what? She couldn’t remember. Only the rustling of the leaves broke the silence. Still snoozing next to her lay the remainder of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The air was chilly; fresh, the way it only ever is during the night. She found herself gazing at the stars. It was now a year since their quest had commenced; a year of fun and great times, but also a whole year of failing their goal. She didn’t know how to feel. When was it going to be her turn?

Her eyes were lost in the stars. For a long while, the sparkling of the countless stars floating above seemed to be all there was until the distant hoot of an owl stole her attention. Her eyelids starting to getting heavy, she buried her head in the pillow. Maybe tomorrow…

Comments

[Ezn]

Second story with a comma splice in the first sentence. Great. That's what I'd've disqualified this for.

Slowly opening her eyes, the moonlight seemed blinding, seeking its way in through the window of the tree house.

The moonlight has eyes?

Yeah, this isn't really a story.

[WardenPony]

"The air was chilly; fresh, the way it only ever is during the night. "

That's not how you semicolon. Cheers.