A Widow's Search

by Flynt Coal

Part 2 - A Gold Heart's Worth

In a few short minutes, Lyonel Heartstrings emerged from the basement stairs levitating a few books and stacks of paper in his magical aura. “Sorry for keeping you waiting, but this is all I have of my research with Star.”

I smiled up at him from my position on his couch, sipping from the cup of tea that he’d offered me when I showed up asking whether he still had any of my late husband’s old stuff. Lyonel was always so good to me, it made feel bad about not being entirely honest with him.

“Thanks, Ly. You’re the best,” I said with a smile.

Lyonel passed the pile of research material to me as he said, “There’s a few of our reference materials here, as well as his journal entries from our last expedition together.”

“Oh, perfect!” I exclaimed, not entirely able to hide my enthusiasm. Between the journal entries of the first two expeditions I’d found in our storage unit and the rest that were still in Arcane Star’s study back home, I now had the complete set of journals from all of his expeditions to the Frozen North. This would be extremely helpful in piecing together what was going on.

“If I may ask, what exactly do you want with all this stuff?” Lyonel asked, studying me curiously. “You’ve certainly never shown this much of an interest in Arcane Star’s work before.”

I chewed my lip as I tried to think of something to tell him. There was always the truth, but the image of the newspaper article with Coltrain’s photo flashed in my mind. It was entirely possible I’d simply read too much into my encounter with the mysterious stallion at lunch. Even so... if there was even a remote chance that the EBI was involved and was going to such lengths to cover this up, there was no way I was going to risk the life of my dearest friend.

“I was… thinking of maybe publishing some of his research,” I lied. If I didn’t already have a target on my back now, I certainly would if I went through with that idea. “It’s what Star would have wanted.”

Lyonel nodded, his skeptical look softening. “Well, let me know if you need any help making sense of it. I was there for much of it after all, and I have to admit I’m curious to see what Star’s come up with after I moved on.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you no longer wanted anything to do with all this ‘alien’ nonsense.”

“I no longer wanted anything to do with Star,” Lyonel sighed, and his gaze fell to the pile of books and paper between us. “To be honest, the real reason I gave up my research into the extraterrestrial was my daughter.”

“Lyra?” I asked, suddenly curious. Lyonel had never talked much about his home life after his falling out with Star, but it was clear that he’d had his share of problems in the past.

“Losing my job at Canterlot U was hard on us, but especially for Lyra,” Lyonel explained, gesturing with his head to the room we were sitting in. “We had to move to a smaller home in another part of the city away from all her friends, and it eventually became apparent that we were no longer going to be able to pay for her education at Celestia’s School.

“She was still a young filly, so obviously she didn’t fully understand the situation. Naturally, she blamed me and my alien fixation for ‘ruining her life.’ I suppose she wasn’t too far off the mark: If she’d been able to continue her studies at Celestia’s School, who’s to say where she’d be today? But regardless, I knew then I had to make a choice: my passion project or my family.”

Lyonel scowled as he finally looked away from the accumulated research. “I chose to focus on finding stable employment to provide for Lyra and Lyrica, but Star?” He sighed and shook his head. “Y’know, even after costing me my job, I probably could have found it in me to forgive him with time. But—even knowing what working on this project had cost me, he still thought he could get me to join him on his latest research expedition. That was what led to our final argument.

“The last thing I ever said to him was: ‘Just because you’re willing to throw away your family for this doesn’t mean that I will.’”

I winced. “Harsh. Even if it was completely true.”

Lyonel nodded, and his eyes suddenly turned misty. “ Even so… I’d always thought about trying to patch things up with him—Celestia knows he’s tried to do the same—but I always found an excuse to put it off….” He rubbed his eyes, sniffing. “Thinking about it now, I… I do miss him.”

I did my best to show him the same kindness he’d shown me over the past few days, and embraced him, feeling like a terrible pony for all of the impure thoughts racing through my head.

“Ly?”

“Yeah?”

I swallowed, wanting—yearning to tell him how I really felt. “Nothing. Thanks for being a good friend.”

Perhaps some things were better off remaining ancient history.

---

Downing the last of my coffee, I set the mug down, no longer keeping track of how much I’d had. All I knew about the current time was that it was late: the clock in Arcane Star’s study had apparently stopped working ages ago—another victim of his neglect. I’d already had dinner and put Helium and Choo-Choo to bed. After that I got to work.

The study was now a mess of books and paper. I’d very quickly run out of room to fit all of the materials I wanted open on the desk, and now sat at the center of a circle of research material on the floor. I don’t think I’d studied something this intently since my university days. I was in the eye of a storm of books, articles and research papers from all over the world, all pertaining to some alleged “ancient alien site.”

It seemed that every researcher had come up with a different name for them—Arcane Star had taken to calling them ‘the Forebears’ in his own journals—but it was clear that every supposed alien site across the world had all been built by the same race of aliens. Translations of ancient scriptures at sites ranging from the Frozen North to South Zebrica all referred to an artifact called “the Key,” which many of these scholars seemed to believe was crucial in activating… something. Everyone seemed to have different theories on what this “Key” was for (let alone where it was or what it looked like). Some thought it was what created equine life on this world in the first place, while a few zebra shaman believed it activated something called ‘the Kokuqothula.’

It had quickly become apparent to me that I would have to filter out a lot of wild speculation. I don’t know how some ponies could believe that the legendary Queen Faust herself was connected to these Forebears. There wasn’t much evidence that she was even a real pony in the first place. And then there was all of Arcane Star’s own fruitless expeditions to the Frozen North. While I was beginning to think that some of his theories might have been on the money, I doubted there was anything of interest in the Old Kingdoms, otherwise one of his expeditions would have turned up something.

Still… he’d stumbled upon something in the past weeks, but none of the reference materials I’d gathered had anything that led back to Southern Equestria. That had been where his train was headed, after all.

A sudden knock at the front door jumped me from my thoughts, and I put the now chronologically organized journals of my late ex-husband down as I made to exit the study to check. While I may have lost track of the time, I knew that it was late, so I was a little suspicious of who could be calling at this hour. I swallowed as I remembered my encounter with the mysterious pony in sunglasses yesterday, and wondered whether the EBI had somehow found out what I was doing, and were here to take me away.

That fear was quickly alleviated when I stepped out of the dimly lit study to find the light of Celestia’s sun slowly creeping into the rest of the house. Is it… morning?! I didn’t have much time to dwell on the fact that I’d somehow spent the entire night catching up on years worth of research when the knocking persisted slightly more urgently.

“I’m coming, hold on!” I said somewhat irately as I made my way to the door.

Moon Dancer stood on the front steps, still wearing the same raggedy sweater she wore days ago. “Hey, Mom.”

“Oh… hi, sweetie,” I said, the minor annoyance instantly evaporating. “You doing okay?”

“Mm, I guess,” Moon Dancer mumbled looking from me to the ground and back again. “Just… wanted to see how you were doing.”

I smiled. “That’s very sweet of you to think of me, hon. Have you had breakfast yet?”

“I had some coffee, but….”

I didn’t let her finish as I opened the door all the way to let her in. “Then why don’t you come inside and have a nice pancake breakfast with your mother?”

A little grin formed on Moon Dancer’s face. “I won’t argue with that!”

My daughter stepped inside and in short order she was sitting at the kitchen table as I made pancakes over the stove. I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty when I remembered the last time we sat in this kitchen together.

“Moon Dancer?”

She looked up at me. “Hmm?”

“I’m… I’m sorry if anything I said the other day upset you.”

“It’s okay, mom,” Moon Dancer said, giving me a reassuring smile. “I know you were just upset about… ‘bout Dad.” The smile disappeared pretty quickly after that, and I hastened the completion of our pancakes so I could go over and sit with her. We started eating our breakfast in silence for a few moments.

“So, how’s everything going on that end?” I asked once we both had our food.

“Fairly well. I booked the venue and date for the funeral, and started sending out notifications to all of our friends and relatives.”

I gave her a reassuring smile as she resumed eating her pancakes. “I meant how are you doing?”

“I don’t know. I mean… Dad’s gone,” Moon Dancer said, taking a shuddering breath. “How… I don’t even know how to process that!”

I nodded. “I know how you feel. I keep… replaying my last conversation with him over and over again in my head. Wondering if…” I trailed off.

My daughter tilted her head. “Wondering if what?”

“Nothing. Just… don’t worry about it.”

We ate in silence for another minute before Moon Dancer spoke up. “I can’t help worrying, though. I mean, I don’t wanna sound rude, but you look terrible.”

“Well, I… didn’t really get much sleep last night.” I rubbed the back of my neck, even though technically it wasn’t lying.

Moon Dancer fixed me with a suspicious glare. “You haven’t been…?”

“No, I haven’t been drinking again. Tempting though it’s been,” I answered. The immediacy of it seemed to alleviate Moon Dancer’s concerns.

“So, what have you been doing, then?”

I glanced out of the kitchen and across the hall to Arcane Star’s study; the door was wide open. My first instinct was to hide my little project from Moon Dancer, but then it occurred to me.

“Actually, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

Moon Dancer gave an intrigued grunt, and I stood from the table. “I’ve been working on a little research project, and figured since this sort of thing is your area of expertise, maybe you could help.”

“What, like magic spells?” Moon Dancer stood and followed me out of the kitchen. “Lately I’ve been reading a lot about offensive magic like the Magi use, and it’s actually pretty….”

She trailed off when I showed her into the study and she saw the organized chaos on its floor.

“Sorry about the mess, it’s hard to keep so many different reference materials within easy reach on such a small desk.”

Moon Dancer picked up a sheet of paper from the floor in her magic and looked it over. “This is… this is all Dad’s research.” She looked at me with utter bemusement. “What are you doing with all of this alien nonsense?”

“Okay, let me start from the beginning,” I said. “I was informed of your father’s death by a representative of the military. Apparently, before he died, Arcane Star had been working with them on some kind of secret project….”

Moon Dancer just shook her head. “No. Mom, you can’t seriously be saying….”

“I talked to a few ponies who convinced me to take a look at the so-called ‘accident’ that killed him….”

“Sweet Celestia, Mom! You don’t honestly believe…!”

“Multiple ponies said they saw a strange being pull Star from the train.” Realizing I wasn’t winning her over with simple explanation, I decided to pull out some facts. I summoned the artbook Obscure Classics, which was already open on the image of Star Man, “Another pony saw the same thing over twenty years ago! And then there were those suits trying to cover it all up….”

Moon Dancer put a hoof on my barrel. “Mom, stop! Listen to yourself! Listen to what you sound like—who you sound like!”

“I know it sounds crazy, sweetie. Believe me, I thought the same thing at first. But there’s just too much that doesn’t add up.” I put my hooves on her shoulders and looked her dead in the eye. “If there’s a chance that your father was murdered—a chance that he was right—wouldn’t you want to know?”

“I…” Moon Dancer croaked, looking away. “What would you even do with that information?”

“I don’t know yet.” I thought about the huge amount of risk I would put to myself if I shared what I found with anyone, and suddenly thought better about getting my daughter involved. “But I know that the truth is out there!”

“Wow. Y’know, I almost wish you were drinking again,” Moon Dancer said bitterly. “At least that I can understand!”

“Moon Dancer…” I tried to say, but she pushed past me and made her way to the front door. “Wait, if you won’t help me with this, can you at least do one favor for me?”

Moon Dancer turned and fixed me with a questioning glare as I asked, “Can you look after Helium and Choo-Choo for a couple of days?”

My daughter’s face darkened. “What are you going to do?”

I sighed. “Your father’s train was headed to Dodge Junction. Whatever he was working on, that’s where it was.”

“You can’t seriously be considering doing what I think you’re gonna do?!” Moon Dancer exclaimed, sputtering as she tried to find words. “I heard trains aren’t even running to Dodge right now. Something about a dragon attack!”

“I can find a way….”

“Dad’s funeral is in three days, Mom!” She sniffed and started wiping her eyes, and my resolve immediately wavered. “Dammit, t-this is already hard enough….”

“Sweetie, I’m sorry…” I said, reaching out to her. “I promise I’ll make it back in time….”

Moon Dancer just swatted my hoof away. “Dad used to make the same kind of promises, remember? ‘I promise I’ll make it to your birthday.’ ‘I promise I’ll be back in time to see you graduate.’ But we both know how well that worked out, don’t we?!”

The door slammed shut and just like that, Moon Dancer was gone. I sighed and went back into the kitchen, seeing the unfinished plates of pancakes on the table.

---

“Miss? Excuse me, Miss?”

I opened my eyes when I heard the stallion’s voice and realized that the rhythmic sway of the wagon that had put me to sleep in the first place had stopped. We were at the edge of a dilapidated desert town, what must once have been simple rustic buildings now collapsed and half burned. The earth pony who had been pulling me along in the wagon was looking back at me with some trepidation.

“Sorry to wake ya, Miss, but we’ve arrived at Dodge Junction,” he said.

It had been a long train ride from Canterlot, during which I’d managed to catch a few hours of the sleep I’d neglected the night before. Somehow, those few hours of sleep had only made me more tired when it was time to get off. I might have missed my stop entirely if it weren’t for the fact that I was getting off in Appleloosa: The current end of the line until whatever was going on in Dodge was resolved. From there, it was just a simple matter of hiring a wagon to bring me the rest of the way.

The stallion pulling the wagon took another look at the burned husk of a town and let out a sigh. “Damn shame what happened here. Place used to be quaint—folks around here real friendly-like. Now all they can do is scrape together whatever they got left.” He looked back to me as I climbed down from the wagon, grabbing the saddlebags full of research on my way. “Don’t know what business you have here, but you be careful, Miss. I never knew any of the folks of this town to be bad, but... desperation can drive ponies to do things they might never consider otherwise.”

I smiled at his show of concern, and certainly appreciated that he never pried into my business here. “I may not be as young as I used to, but I’ve spent enough time on Canterlot’s seedier streets in my youth to know how to defend myself.”

After thanking the stallion and paying him his well-earned bits, he turned his wagon around and started making his way back to Appleloosa, while I turned to face the wreck of a town alone. There weren’t any ponies out and about, but as I made my way further along the main street, I started to see little signs of life. Rather than bring me comfort, the few ponies I could see only emphasized how dire the situation in this town had become.

A stallion wearing a bar apron swept debris and broken glass out of a bar without patrons. A mare wrapped in a cloth blanket sat by a house reduced to cinders. Two stallions exited a general store with a satchel full of goods, only to see me watching and take off down the street, the shopkeep yelling after them as they ran. Overhead, I spotted a squadron of pegasi patrolling the sky in the armor of the military.

The only pony who didn’t look like a prisoner in Tartarus was an old beige mare, who smiled at me with a kind, wrinkled face.

“Lost your way?” she asked sweetly.

“Actually, I was hoping to see the pony in charge here,” I said. “Maybe you can help me?”

The old mare considered my words for a few moments. “The matriarch of this town lives on the big farm on the hill to the north,” she said.

Slowly, the old mare began to make her way back the way I came. “But you want my advice, dear? Turn back. There’s nothing in this town worth throwing your life away for.”

I considered asking just what she had meant by that, but the old mare was already out of earshot. Surely things in Dodge Junction weren’t so bad that I was in mortal danger? I couldn’t help but think back to my last conversation with my daughter and wonder whether the old mare was right in a more figurative sense—whether she knew it or not.

Regardless of those thoughts, it was too late to turn back now, and so I pressed on, turning left to head north at the next intersection. Eventually I came up on a farm matching what the old mare had described. A large farmhouse sat atop a steep hill, a barn with stacks of smoke rising above it sitting just at its base. An orchard of cherry trees stretched on into the east, and the sign above the front gate said Cherry Hill Farm.

The sound of hammers on nails filled the air as I stepped onto the farm, and another look at the barn revealed several ponies repairing damage to its facade. I trotted closer, hoping to get one of the ponies’ attention, but a little overalled filly filling a bucket of water from a spigot noticed me first.

“Miss Jubilee?” the filly called out to a nearby mare, looking at me apprehensively. “‘Nother strange pony’s here!”

The mare that the filly had addressed turned away from the ponies working on the barn and looked at me with a level face. She was exceptionally pretty, even by Canterlot standards, despite her slightly chubby frame. Her coat was an extremely pale yellow, her bright crimson mane done up in an elaborate beehive. Her light green eyes were adorned with pink eyeshadow, but she barely seemed able to keep them open. In spite of this, the mare emitted a presence of matronly authority.

“Hello!” I greeted with a wave. “So sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could spare a moment to talk?”

As the mare stepped closer, I noticed the bags under her eyes and the few strands of hair rebelling against the rest. She looked a lot like I felt at that moment.

“That so? Well, Cherry Hill Farm is always willin’ to offer its hospitality to others, especially in these dark times.” She then looked me up and down. “Though, you don’ look like you’re from around here, Miss…?”

“Golden Heart. And you’re right. I’m from Canterlot.”

“Canterlot? My my, we’ve just been gettin’ ponies from all over Equestria comin’ ‘round lately! I’m Cherry Jubilee. I run Cherry Hill Farm and much of Dodge Junction itself. Such as it is.”

As we moved to talk away from the noise of the barn maintenance, I watched the little filly in overalls carry the bucket of water in her mouth up to the house.

“Cute filly. Is she yours?” I asked, hoping to start the conversation off light.

Cherry Jubilee sighed and shook her head. “No, poor thing was orphaned after the attack, and I’m doin’ my best to look after her until things get better ‘round here and we can find her a new home.”

So much for starting the conversation light. “Ah, I assume you mean the dragon attack from the other week?” I asked.

Jubilee just looked at me like I’d grown another horn. “Dragon attack? Land sakes, is that what they’re saying it was?!” She shook her head ruefully. “The nerve of those government ponies, disrespecting the deaths of all of those good mares and stallions with their lies.”

That piqued my curiosity, and I started to wonder if my initial theory had been correct. “It wasn’t a dragon that did this?” I asked.

Jubilee simply gestured to the rest of the town in the distance. “Do we look like we’re sitting on a wealth of gems and rubies? We may be right on the edge of the Badlands, but dragons haven’t been a problem in all the time my family’s been here. We haven’t got anything they’d want.”

“So, if it wasn’t a dragon, what was it?”

“Don’t know. Never saw it myself. From what I hear, I think I owe my life to that fact.” Giving me the same careful look she had before, Jubilee said, “You’re not the first pony to come here asking about the attack, you know? Just the other day, some stallion—said his name was Silversteel, or something—came by asking the same questions as you. He was a shady character, that one—I couldn’t shake this unsettling feeling about him. Looked like the kinda guy who found trouble wherever he went.

“I don’t think you’re a bad pony, Miss Heart. You’re not here lookin’ for trouble. But I gotta ask: Why are you here?” A hint of vulnerability revealed itself in Cherry Jubilee just then. “What is it you’re hoping to find?”

Calling on my magic, I reached into my saddlebags and felt around all of the papers and books until I found a single photo. I did my best to swallow the swell of conflicting emotions and cleared my throat as I presented Cherry Jubilee with a photo of myself, a few years younger, being held in Arcane Star’s forelegs.

“Have you ever seen him around?”

Cherry Jubilee took the photo in her own hoof and studied it. “He was your husband?” she asked, and I nodded solemnly. “Yeah. I’ve seen him around a few times in the week before the attack. Seemed to be working closely with the military contingent that moved into the area.”

I raised an eyebrow. “The military was here before the attack?”

Jubilee nodded. “They set up a camp somewhere in the forest just beyond my orchard. Wouldn’t let anypony get anywhere near it.”

“Any idea why?”

“Only a crazy idea. You don’t want to hear it.”

I grinned. “Trust me, I’ve become very accustomed to crazy ideas.”

After that encouragement, Jubilee looked around before leaning in closer. “One night just before the army showed up, we heard a noise: A distant whine followed by a loud boom that shook the earth. Ponies said they saw somethin’ fall from the sky like a shootin’ star… and land in the woods just beyond my orchard, right where the military then went an’ set up shop the very next day.”

Jubilee left the sentence there, allowing me to come to my own conclusions. My mind raced with thoughts and questions, all leading to the same impossible conclusion. I knew right then where I needed to go next, and wondered whether I would finally find the source of all this mystery.

“Thank you, Miss Jubilee,” I said, shaking the mare’s hoof as she returned my photo. “I’m sorry for your troubles, but there’s something I need to do.”

---

It wasn’t too long before the neat and orderly cherry orchard gave way to a more wild and natural forest. Evidently, the cherry grove had grown beyond what Dodge Junction’s first settlers had originally intended. The placement of the trees was more sporadic, the brush around them thick. The occasional bird sang its song, and the whole atmosphere was rather peaceful.

But I didn’t feel very at peace as I trekked deeper into the brush. An underlying sense of menace permeated the peaceful atmosphere. Somewhere in this forest was something that would defy all reasonable explanation. Something that would, perhaps, answer the questions plaguing me for days.

I must have been more jumpy than I realized, because the sound of a bird taking flight behind me caused me to whirl around with a start. After taking a few breaths to calm myself, I turned to continue on my way through the forest and nearly bumped into a wrinkled old face. The old beige mare from town was standing right in front of me, smiling sweetly as she had when we spoke before. I could only stand there and stare at her in a shocked stupor: Not only had this mare managed to follow me into the forest, she did so without making a sound.

“Looks like you have lost your way after all,” she said, her every word laced with sugary sweetness.

“E-excuse me?” was all my rattled brain managed to get out.

“I warned you,” she said, taking a few steps closer, and some instinct deep inside me was screaming for me to run. “I told you to keep your nose clean, Mrs. Golden Heart.”

Before I could even process what was happening, the old mare struck with lightning speed. Suddenly all I felt was indescribable pain as a bracelet around her hoof with some kind of magical enchantments sent jolts of energy shooting through my entire body. I twitched and writhed as my legs buckled out from beneath me and my body crumpled to the ground. As I lay there, shaking from fear and aftershocks both, the old mare reached around behind her neck and to my horror, began to pull her face off... or so it seemed at first.

I suddenly found myself looking at a familiar stallion with a dark, gold-streaked mane as he put on the pair of sunglasses he’d been wearing when we met in Canterlot. “You seemed like a nice enough pony. I really was hoping it wouldn’t have to come to this,” he said, any compassion his words might have held made moot by the creepy monotone he spoke with.

A lime green unicorn mare with a white mane and piercing crimson eyes appeared next to him. “We should finish her quickly. We’re too close to the site.”

The stallion turned to his associate as I lay there, my muscles numb. “Ah, but Cockatrice, if there’s any trace of a murder here, ponies will want to take a closer look around, regardless of how off-limits the site is. No, tell Manticore to bring the sky-carriage around. We’ll bring her further south and dress the scene to look like a coyote attack.”

My heart raced and I was unable to keep the whimper from escaping as it dawned on me what was going to happen.

“On it,” the mare, ‘Cockatrice’, gave a curt nod before turning and disappearing into the woods.

As I lay there shivering, the stallion circled around me, eying the saddlebags full of research on the ground beside me.

“Who… who are you?” I asked.

“If you’re asking about my name, you can just call me Changeling,” he answered as he picked up my saddlebags. “And before you ask, it’s just a callsign. I’m no more an actual changeling than my partner is a cockatrice.”

I managed to glare at him using what strength I had left. “And do the princesses know that the EBI is murdering innocent ponies?!”

At that, Changeling looked up from my saddlebags and gave an amused snort. “Is that who you think we are? Good guess, but our organization is much older.”

With that, Changeling returned his attention to the contents of my saddlebags, pulling out several pages of research and giving what I noticed to be a worried frown. “Where did you get all of this?” He looked through more of the research, his look growing ever more frantic until he turned to me. “How much do you know about the Forerunners?! How much do you know about her?!”

I barely heard him as my thoughts began their downward spiral into despair. My foals were going to lose their mother so soon after their father. Little Helium and Choo-Choo would grow up without proper parents. Coffee Cream would arrive for one funeral only to learn there would soon be another. And Moon Dancer… Moon Dancer would live with the knowledge that our last conversation had been a fight, and wonder whether she could have done or said something different to spare her loved one such a terrible fate.

The sound of a hoof stepping on twigs caused my ears to stand on end. Changeling didn’t take his eyes off me as he said, “Cockatrice, is everything alri…?”

He was abruptly cut off when a blast of arcane energy knocked him off his hooves and sent him flying. Bewildered, I looked where the blast had come from and as if the universe had been reading my mind, there stood the very subject of my worry.

“Moon Dancer?!” I exclaimed as my daughter rushed towards me, horn still glowing. She was breathing heavily as if she’d just run a marathon, and her eyes were wide with worry. I felt her cast a spell over my body, and before long the numbness holding me down began to vanish.

“How… what are you doing here?” I asked as she worked to cure my paralysis.

My daughter gave me her patented scowl as she continued her magical ministrations. “Did you honestly think I was just gonna let you run off and get yourself into trouble?” she said, her eyes starting to water. “I already lost Dad to this insanity. I can’t lose you too, Mom!”

Just then I heard a pained groan, and Moon Dancer and I both looked to see that Changeling was on his feet, looking at us with a quiet fury. My daughter’s horn glowed with renewed energy, but the mare from before—Cockatrice—suddenly appeared on her left side. A large, burly pegasus stallion with a golden brown coat was with her and quickly began circling to surround us.

It quickly dawned on me that my worst fears had come true: Moon Dancer was involved now and was in just as much peril as I. And what if it doesn’t stop with us? If these ponies think Moon Dancer knows everything that I do, who’s to say they won’t assume my other foals know too? Celestia, have I doomed my whole family?

Rather than fill me with fear and despair again, the thought instead gave me renewed vigor. I crouched and began to fill my horn with magic. I wasn’t sure that I actually knew any spells that would be useful in a fight, but if these ponies thought they were going to take away any more of my family, they were in for a shock! But before our mysterious attackers could strike, Changeling’s ears suddenly stood stock straight and he motioned for the others to hold. It took me a moment, but then I heard it too. A distant crack crack crack like foals playing with fireworks.

“What’s that?” Cockatrice asked.

Changeling frowned. “It’s them. They’re here.”

The rate of the distant cracks began to grow until they filled the air. The sound of shouting voices quickly joined them.

“Fall back,” Changeling ordered his compatriots.

“But sir, what about them?” Cockatrice asked.

The shouting voices grew louder, and I was already able to make out the shapes of armored ponies through the trees headed in our general direction.

Changeling looked back and forth from us to the military ponies through the trees in the distance. “Forget them. We can’t risk capture or our whole organization might be compromised!”

With that, the three ponies turned and disappeared into the depths of the woods. It was several moments after they left when Moon Dancer and I finally let our guard down. It was then that the contingent of soldiers we’d seen through the trees ran past us at an urgent pace. Each one of them were dressed in wartime barding and had nasty-looking enchanted crossbows holstered.

“Double-time it to the fallback position, troops!” the stallion in charge ordered. “We’ll rendezvous with Washington there!”

“Sir! Civilians!” a mare shouted, and suddenly a team of armored ponies was standing around us.

The stallion in charge looked over at us and cursed before asking, “What are they doing here?! Who are they?!” I opened my mouth to respond, but another distant crack in the direction the soldiers were fleeing from gathered everyone’s attention. “Nevermind!” the CO said, returning his attention to my daughter and I. “You two need to vacate the area immediately! Get back to town, get indoors and stay there until further notice!”

Without giving either of us a chance to reply, the stallion turned and continued galloping with his troops, barking orders until his voice faded into the distance with the rest of them.

“Well, you heard the stallion. Let’s go!” Moon Dancer exclaimed, tugging at my foreleg. “I don’t really want to stick around to find out what all of those heavily armed ponies were running from!”

Moon Dancer started pulling me along in the direction of town, but I couldn’t keep myself from looking back in the direction the soldiers had been running from. It was the same direction Cherry Jubilee had pointed out. The source of all of this was right there. It was so close….

“Mom! What are you doing? We have to go!” Moon Dancer shouted, more insistently tugging on my foreleg.

I realized then what I had to do. “You go on ahead, sweetie. I’ll catch up after I check something.”

Evidently, this answer was not acceptable to Moon Dancer. “What?! Mom, you could die!”

“I don’t care.” I suddenly realized. “All of the answers I’ve been looking for are back this way.”

“So what?”

“I need to know....” I tried making my way back but Moon Dancer wouldn’t let me.

“No you don’t! Now just come on….” Moon Dancer pulled, but I refused to budge.

“Yes I do! I need to know….”

“What?! You need to know what?!”

“I NEED TO KNOW IT WASN’T MY FAULT!”

Moon Dancer said nothing, and the forest was quiet. As what I just said finally caught up with me, I felt just as surprised as Moon Dancer looked, and suddenly I couldn’t stop the tears from coming.

“I n-need to know whether he really was murdered by an alien. O-or some conspiracy,” I whimpered. “Because if something or someone really wanted him dead… it wouldn’t have mattered whether I’d slammed the door in his face….”

I’m not sure how long I stood there, crying and feeling sorry for myself in front of my daughter, but eventually I felt her hoof on my shoulder.

“I guess… a quick look couldn’t hurt, right?” she asked, giving me a smile.

---

Of course, “a quick look” turned out to be so much more. Before I knew it I found myself in the command tent of a military base camp, regretting my curiosity—my need for vindication—as my mind whirled with the events of the past several minutes.

Moon Dancer and I hadn’t gone straight towards the military site Cherry Jubilee had indicated—we’d wanted to give a wide berth to whatever that contingent of guards had been retreating from. A few times, I thought I’d seen strange shapes moving through the trees as we heard distant voices just on the edge of my hearing. Finally, we’d reached the large clearing where we’d seen what would no doubt be permanently etched into our minds.

At first glance, the arrangement of standard Guard tents made the clearing look like a regular military encampment. The first thing that made us realize this was no standard operation was the presence of what a part of me knew I’d find. A great twisted metal behemoth lay in the center of a depression like a big dead animal. Even though part of me expected something like this would be waiting, seeing it with my own eyes had still been a complete shock.

“That’s… that’s a…” Moon Dancer had muttered beside me, clearly at a loss for words.

The thing was a burnt, twisted husk, but there was no doubt in my mind that we had been looking at an alien spaceship at that very moment. Even from that great distance, I thought I could see something—approximately four words—carved into the side of the ship, but it had been difficult to make out from that distance. So I foolishly tried to get closer, wandering through the military encampment without a second thought while my daughter hissed at me not to go.

It was in our approach to the ship that we had come upon the next sight to rock our world. A group of medical ponies were solemnly covering the bodies of armored ponies with white sheets outside a medical tent while other guards looked on sadly, but what stopped us in our tracks was right behind them: The bodies of several bipedal figures covered head to foot in gray armor unlike any I’d ever seen before were piled a few paces away with bolts sticking out of them.

I hadn’t even fully registered the voices of the military ponies shouting at us as they finally noticed our presence. It was only as they had surrounded Moon Dancer and I and began the process of detaining us that I had realized we were in serious trouble.

Now here I sat in the command tent of this encampment, with the officer in charge of this regiment looking through the saddlebags they’d apprehended off of me with all of Arcane Star’s research that I had gathered over the past few days. Moon Dancer was in another tent somewhere else, likely being interrogated by another officer.

“There is years worth of research here, Mrs. Heart!” the CO barked. He was a very old dark blue stallion who had the demeanor of having been pulled out of retirement for whatever operation was going on here. “So I’ll ask you again: Who are you and how much do you know about Project Starfall?”

“I told you, I don’t know anything about it!” I told him insistently. “Everything in there was my late husband’s research.”

“And he gave you all of this classified information, then?”

“No! I wasn’t even aware he was a part of this project until today.”

The old stallion sighed. “Mrs. Heart, we have you and your daughter on trespassing on secure military property. So I suggest you start being honest with us….”

Before he finished talking, the sound of the tent flap being pushed aside behind me drew his attention.

“Can I help you Mr.… Washington, was it?” the CO asked, looking past me at the newcomer.

“Agent Washington, and yes you can,” the newcomer replied, and right away I noticed that something about his icy, business-like voice was off. It sounded distorted somehow, like the speaker was talking through a tin can. “I’d like to take a look at the research you’ve just now acquired, as well as speak with the pony who supplied it.”

I looked over my shoulder to see the newcomer, and my jaw hit the floor when I saw that Star Man had walked right out of the pages of Obscure Classics and was now standing in the tent behind me. Sure enough, the bipedal creature wore some kind of advanced armor just like the dead ones I’d seen outside, only his was a somewhat darker gray with yellow stripes on his helmet and shoulder pads. My own stupefied expression stared back at me in the reflection of his chrome visor.

“Listen, Mr. Washington,” the CO sternly said, taking a step past me to address the creature towering over both of us. “I’m real appreciative of you and your ponies for helping us against your former comrades. Really I am. But this is a case of an Equestrian citizen trespassing on Equestrian military property, and I would prefer to handle it internally.”

At that, the being apparently called ‘Washington’ reached into some compartment on the back of its armor and pulled out a scroll. My shock then doubled when I remembered the fact that it talked. “I’m afraid that was not a request.”

‘Washington’ held out the scroll and the stallion interrogating me took it in his magic. Right away I noticed the official seal of Princess Celestia binding it, and based on the thoughtful frown on the CO’s face, so did he. The military stallion unbound the scroll, unfurled it and began reading, muttering to himself as he did.

“By order of Princess Celestia, command of all military personnel involved with Project Starfall is to be temporarily granted to Agent Washington and his associates….”

The CO fell silent, his eyes moving across the scroll two or three more times before scowling and passing it back to Washington.

“Now, do you mind if I have a word with her alone?” the alien asked in a tone that implied it wasn’t really a question.

The CO simply shoved the scroll into Washington’s chest plate as he strode past right out of the tent, muttering unhappily. The alien, for his part, (at least I assumed it was a ‘he’ by the voice) seemed completely unconcerned as he took the letter and put it away. He then turned his attention to me and I suddenly remembered I was still gaping.

“If I had to venture a guess, I’d say that I’m the first human you’ve ever seen,” this Washington said with a chuckle as he moved to kneel on the floor across the table from me so we were at eye level.

“You’re… y-you’re Star Man…” was all I could think to say at that moment.

At that, the alien tilted his head, and I realized the gesture probably meant the same thing for him as it did for ponies. So I reached into my saddlebags and brought out Obscure Classics, quickly opening it to the page with Andy Worhay’s old work. I’ll admit that the armor looked much more bulky and disproportionate in the painting than it did in real life, but it looked like Washington saw the resemblance well enough.

“Huh. That’s certainly not what I expected to find today,” he said studying the painting closely. “The artist was certainly generous with my proportions....”

I, meanwhile, had just remembered what I had learned that had led me to further investigating that painting in the first place. So with a nervous swallow, I asked, “Was it you? Were you the one that attacked that train?” I tried to keep my voice under control as I continued. “Did you kill Arcane Star?”

Washington seemed taken aback by the question, “What? No! If you’re referring to the train crash south of Ponyville, that was the M… that was something else.”

Before I could stop myself, I was asking questions at a mile a minute. “Was it the Forebears then? Are those dead aliens outside Forebears? Or are you a Forebear? I thought you said you were a human. Or is human just your word for Forebear?”

Seeing I wasn’t going to stop, Washington raised an appendage. “Whoa, okay now. I’m sure you have a lot of questions….”

He was damn right. After all this time searching—after Arcane Star spent his whole life trying to discover the secrets of extraterrestrial life, throwing away his own in the process—I was finally here, talking to an alien. I wasn’t about to stop now! Especially once I remembered a crucial detail.

“Oh wait! The actual word is Forerunner, isn’t it? Is that what you are?”

“No, the Forerunners have been extinct for…” Washington stopped himself and suddenly leaned in closer. “Wait, where did you hear that word? Is it in your husband’s research?” He suddenly started sifting through my saddlebag, pulling out everything.

“No, those strange ponies mentioned it,” I answered, and just like that Washington’s attention was fully on me again.

“Which strange ponies?”

I brushed my hoof along the ground, suddenly feeling a little afraid when I remembered just how far they were willing to go to silence me. “They ambushed me in the forest not too far from here. They asked me what I knew about the Forerunners, and were planning on killing me and my daughter. I think they’ve already silenced others that way too.”

I took a shuddering breath as the reality of my situation dawned on me. “I don’t think I’m safe! What if they come after me again? What if they come after my family?! I can’t… I can’t lose anypony else!”

“Hey, hey, relax. It’s going to be alright,” he said, and oddly enough, something about his gentle tone of voice actually comforted me a little. “If you really think you and your family are in danger, I can arrange to get you some protection. And don’t worry, I’ll also make sure your military doesn’t press charges against you."

“Really?” I asked, skeptical but hopeful.

He nodded. “Being friends with a princess has its advantages.”

I smiled. “Thank you.”

“It’s the least I can do. Believe it or not, you may have done your princess a good service in bringing us this research,” Washington said, taking another look through the contents of my saddlebags. I noticed him linger over Arcane Star’s journals of his expeditions to the Frozen North as he muttered to himself, “Yes, this may be exactly what we need to stop Project Freelancer.”

“Project Freelancer?” a dozen more questions filled my mind at that moment. I wanted to know more about who this Washington person was, where he came from, when he started working with Princess Celestia, and why.

Washington stood, and I could almost imagine the easy smile on whatever face was behind that helmet. “I wouldn’t worry about them. They shouldn’t be a problem, assuming all goes to plan.”

I looked down as Washington made to leave. “I’d still kinda like to know what Star died for.”

The tall biped stopped, and it seemed like a while before he spoke again. “I know there must be no end to your questions. But take it from me: having all the answers won’t make you feel better. It doesn’t change the fact that the people we care about are still gone.” He looked back at me, and in that moment I started to wonder whether we were really all that different in our experiences. “You want my advice? Let it go. Do whatever you have to to mourn him, then move on….”

He let the sentence linger there, almost as if there was something more he wanted to say. I wondered whether the advice he gave me was something he himself had done, or merely something he wished he’d done.

“Thank you, Mr. Washington,” I said, trying to give the alien a smile.

Washington merely left the tent muttering “Agent” over and over again. It wasn’t long after that the stallion in charge came back, and after giving me a stern warning not to talk about anything I’d witnessed today, reluctantly let me go. The sun was going down as I exited the tent, and part of me wondered whether the princess controlling it had already been informed of today’s events, and how much about all this she really knew. I saw Moon Dancer standing by the encampment edge in the company of several guards, and decided then that it didn’t matter. I was ready to put all of this alien stuff behind me and begin moving forward.

“Did they tell you Dad was the head researcher here?” Moon Dancer asked as the pony soldiers started leading us back towards town. She had apparently given them descriptions of our attackers and rough approximations of their capabilities, and the CO explained there would be troops monitoring things until we made it back to Canterlot. It seemed that Washington had been true to his word.

“Apparently he had been hoof-picked by the princesses themselves for this project,” my daughter continued. “And the current head researcher—a mare named Dr. Quill—said there might be a job for me here when she found out about my studies.”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest,” I said, before reflecting on how past interactions with my daughter had gone. “Moon Dancer…” I started, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find words adequate enough to let her know how terrible I felt for everything I put her through.

“Yes, Mom?” she asked.

“Nothing,” I said, leaning up against her and giving her a motherly nuzzle. “Love you, sweetie.”

Moon Dancer merely rolled her eyes and groaned, turning bright red. “Moooooooom. Do you have to do that in front of the guards?”

---

After Moon Dancer and I returned to Canterlot, it was only a couple of short days until Arcane Star’s funeral was upon us. The service was held outside the Star family tomb carved into the side of Canter Mountain. Arcane Star came from a modest family, and their tomb was evidence of that. It looked admittedly a little underwhelming next to the tombs of the wealthier noble families, but who was keeping score?

Many friends and family of my late ex-husband were in attendance, all wearing respectful blacks. Lyonel Heartstrings was there with his wife Lyrica, and the two of us exchanged a nod as we found our seats. I spotted Star’s brothers and sisters, as well as many of the friends from our circle. The only associate of his I didn’t spot was Night Light, and I remembered that he and his wife were off on a trip to the Crystal Empire.

My two youngest, Helium and Choo-Choo were with me. I had expected just as many tears today as there had been two nights ago when I finally explained to them why their father wasn’t ever coming back. But so far my little foals were quiet as they marched to their seats beside me, putting on brave faces for their older sisters and me. This didn’t go unnoticed by said siblings as Coffee Cream and Moon Dancer took their seats on my other side, the latter actually looking to have cleaned herself up for the occasion. Soon, the minister representing Princess Celestia began his speech (obviously, the princess herself couldn’t personally officiate every funeral in Equestria).

As the proceedings went on, I couldn’t help but wonder where things stood between Moon Dancer and I. Although we hadn’t fought once since leaving Dodge Junction, my middle daughter’s icy distance made me wonder whether she was still unhappy with me. I couldn’t exactly blame her. We’d both almost died because I’d stupidly wanted closure.

On the plus side, I didn’t think we were in mortal danger anymore. The Royal Guard and the EBI had been discreetly watching over us ever since our return to Canterlot, and there hadn’t been any trace of whatever mysterious group had attacked us outside Dodge. Perhaps a part of that was because I no longer had Arcane Star’s research in my possession. Still, I couldn’t help but think that Moon Dancer resented me a bit for getting us involved in the first place.

At least I did before she went up beside the coffin to say a few words.

“So, this is usually the part where I’m supposed to say something nice about Dad. Maybe share some touching or funny anecdote about him or something,” Moon Dancer started after a nervous clearing of her throat. “But the truth is… Arcane Star wasn’t a perfect parent. He was distant, and even absent for much of my life. At times, he lost sight of what was really important.”

I noticed her glance toward me as she said this, and I wondered whether she was only talking about him. “No, he wasn’t perfect. But really, who is? He may not have always showed that he cared when he should have, but I don’t think that means he didn’t care. Because I remember him still finding the time to read to me, or help me study. To walk me to school, or... or to walk me home the first time I had a bit too much to drink….”

She paused to wipe the tears that had been building in her eyes the entire time, and then she looked at me again. “No matter what you do, you’re bound to make mistakes. Especially if you’re a parent. No part of life can be done flawlessly. What matters is that you keep trying to do better. And Dad never stopped trying.”

A polite round of applause followed Moon Dancer’s speech, and then it was my turn to say something. But when I got up there in front of all of Arcane Star’s friends and loved ones, the speech I’d carefully prepared left me. All of a sudden, the simple and generic words about how charmed I was to have known him seemed meaningless and inadequate. How could I convey in a few sentences how we’d fallen in love thirty years ago? How could I explain how we’d raised one wonderful foal after another before falling out of love? How could I say that our marriage falling apart was my fault as much as it was his? That despite all of his failings and shortcomings, he didn’t deserve to be so cruelly taken from this world while suffering from all of the festering wounds we’d inflicted upon each other over the years.

Before I knew it, I was just standing up there crying in front of all who knew him. Although I couldn’t see through all the tears, I felt somepony leading me away and knew immediately that it was Moon Dancer. Soon, we found ourselves alone several paces away from the main proceedings.

Wiping away the tears, I looked at Moon Dancer as I struggled to say what I should have said days ago. “I’m sorry, sweetie,” I sobbed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you through all of this, I’m sorry I….”

Moon Dancer just wrapped me up into the tightest hug she could muster and said softly, “It’s okay, Mom. It’s okay….”

And so we stood there, my daughter holding me as I cried. Yet despite the pain I felt in that moment, I realized with sudden hope that it was not born of guilt, but genuine grief. Grief born of guilt was nigh insurmountable, but this I could deal with. After all, even a superficial gold heart can shine in darkness.

Author's Note:

Kind of annoyed I thought up the title for this chapter after uploading the story, because I think it would've made a far better title, but whatev.

Comments

[Jack-Pony]

There was a moment here when I was like;
Wait, I thought Golden Heart was an earth pony... She is in the cover art.

[Flynt Coal]

7682268 I'm gonna chalk that up to a slight miscommunication between myself and Shinzakura. Just imagine that her horn is so small it's hiding in her mane!

[Jack-Pony]

7682955 I wonder if she realizes there are little blue pills for that...?