Part 5: The Party (...Or it came from the fridge)
"Soooo... What do you think of our humble little abode?" Potion trailed off awkwardly behind his new sister before he facehoofed and murmured to himself under his breath something along the lines of being so pathetic for breaking the ice like that. Diamond couldn't entirely tell what he said actually.
She observed the house in front of her. It almost certainly did not fit the style of somepony who was a history teacher with it being far from boring and drab on the outside. The home itself was built with brick, with vines creeping up along one side of the home. Twin white pillars framed the doorway, with the door itself being a bright burgundy color.
"Hmph, at least you're trying." Diamond huffed. "Please tell me you at least have a butler or something."
Script actually burst out laughing before he quickly realized Diamond was being serious and his face fell.
"Please, on a teacher's salary? I don't think so." Script commented.
"Yeah, if you did have a butler something tells me you'd use him or her in your own private little war with Good Eats somehow." Potion said sarcastically.
"Please, I'd do things myself." Script replied. There was a awkward silence for a few moments after that.
"Let's... Let's just go in okay?" Potion finally said in a nervous tone, rather hoping to actually try and please his new sister. Though privately, he doubted that would happen and she'd think of him as more of a loser then she already did.
Script Family Home: Interior
Diamond had to admit, at least from looking at the home's entrance hall it felt homely with a painting of the Trottingham countryside and a globe on a shelf next to a hat and coat stand being the first things she noticed. The floor was wooden, and it creaked when the filly or anypony else stepped on it.
Potion soon set out on giving his new little sister (At least that was what he hoped she'd be) the "Personal tour" as he referred to it while Script went off make some minor preperations to Diamond's bedroom. First stop was the kitchen, and Diamond couldn't resist rolling her eyes.
"Stallions, always thinking with their stomachs." She commented, and Potion in spite of himself couldn't resist a snort as he fished through the fridge for some milk muttering to himself all the while.
"Apples... Yummy. Yogurt... ACK! You so don't want to know..." Potion squeaked as he rapidly shut the fridge door and shuddered briefly.
"What happened?" Diamond asked curiously.
"...It lives in the fridge." Potion murmured and that was all she got out of him for a while after that on the matter.
After the "It came from the fridge" incident as both Potion and Diamond snarkily referred to it to themselves, Diamond was shown the second of three bedrooms, which Potion privately suspected if Diamond had her way it would be pink everywhere you could think of and covered in stuffed animals. After showing it to Diamond, they soon passed another bedroom door, this one for guests.
"What's behind there?" Diamond asked. "Can I see?"
"Trust me, you don't want to. Rats... and other horrible things. Least that's what Dad says. Not sure if he's kidding or not." Potion replied, with another shudder. Diamond raised a eyebrow, how could Script afford all of this if he was just a History Teacher for Highschoolers? Was he well paid, or was there something else to it? She voiced her concerns.
"How does Script even have this kind of money?" She asked, before a realization hit her. "...Wait, don't tell me he's renting?"
"Alimony check." Script's voice came from her bedroom. "About the only good thing I got out of the divorce..."
Then, the door bell rang and everypony rushed down to answer it. Script reached for the door handle, but was soon beat to it by Potion although he soon regretted it when a pink blur knocked him over to the floor leaving the poor Bat-Pony to mumble "...Like lightning."
"Hi!" A loud voice exclaimed as Script sighed a long exasperated sigh.
"Hello Pinkie." He said, annoyed.
Next thing he or anypony else knew the entire living room was covered in streamers and balloons along with a big banner that said "Congrats Diamond Tiara." In short, it looked like a party. Diamond's eyes widened.
"So I got this great, really great idea! Throw a "Happy Diamond's Adoption Party!" Cool huh? Like it, like it do you, do you?" Pinkie asked in a fast tone of voice, making Diamond's head spin as the pink pony bounced up and down.
"I... I..." Diamond stammered, unable to form words. Pinkie waved a hoof dismissively and gave Diamond a noogie.
"Silly filly! Don't worry, you'll love it! OH! Before I forget, Scriptzy my bestest friend Twilight sent this over with me. Said it'd help you tons!" Pinkie exclaimed before holding out a book titled "Taking care of a little filly for dummies".
Script looked mildly offended and grumbled something under his breath npony could catch. It was things spun out of control for poor Script as just about all of Diamond's classmates along with a few other ponies including the Mane Six and Caeser came in the doorway. For a few brief moments Script shouted his protests but eventually gave up as he knew there was no point in bothering to stop a "Pinkie Party".
At one point, Diamond requested some apples to go with the cake, the "Extra shiny kind" as she said. Script groaned at that but knew Diamond deserved a treat to make up for her rough week in some way and went to get them but Pinkie volunteered instead and left. A few moments later she ran back yelling "Fridge Horror, literally!"
Script arched a eyebrow but shrugged it off. At one point during the party Applejack came up to Diamond and smiled at her.
"Now, Ah don't like you for how you bullied my little sis and her friends but I'm willing to put it behind me right now out of the goodness of mah heart and the fact that Sweet Apple Acres and the Riches are always doing good business. Let me just say, mah doors are always open if you need a extra shoulder to cry on."
"Please, as if I'd ever step hoof on some icky and muddy farm." Diamond replied and marched off with her head held high. Applejack turned to Script and gave him a deadpan look.
"You and your son, ya'll got your work cut out for ya, ya did notice that right?"
"Believe me, I noticed." Script deadpanned before hanging his head in resignation while he mumbled something about him being far too nice at times as Applejack walked back towards Diamond.
"Diamond wait! Take it from a pony who's lost their parents. You can't shoulder this alone. If you ever, and Ah do mean ever need a helping hoof Ah'll give it."
Diamond's only response was to go and find Silver. As she and her best friend chatted, Script was having words of his own with a certain lawyer.
"So, how's my niece taking it? I mean, it's only been a day since you took her in and all but-" Caeser said before being interrupted by Script.
"She's in grief, give her time. Huh, you sound concerned. And here I thought all lawyers were-"
This time he was the one to be cut off.
"Yes, I've heard all the jokes. See, this is what I'm concerned about with you. You're rude and fairly nasty at times and I don't know if it's healthy for you to be around Diamond. I want to break her of her haughtiness and I'm not sure you can do that. You might just make her even worse." Caeser said in a concerned tone. Script privately had to admit he had a point. He'd been having these same doubts himself. If Script had a answer for Caeser's concerns he never gave it.
Eventually the party wound down and it was time for bed. Script tucked Diamond in and kissed her forehead before he put a glass of water on her bedside table just in case Diamond got thirsty during the night. As Script turned out the lights and left the room, Diamond finally spoke and not in the ice cold tone she'd been using all day with just about anypony she could.
"Do... Do you think Daddy's okay with this? Me being adopted by you I mean?" She asked, letting down her guard for the first time today.
Once again, Script had no real answer to give.
"I... I don't know. But I do know one thing, I'm going to try my best. Goodnight kid." He said before closing the door. Maybe he was just imagining things, but he could have sworn Diamond let out a small "Goodnight." Either way, he went down to the kitchen for a late night snack. But as soon as he opened the fridge door...
"AAAGGGHH!"
"GWARRRRHH!" The creature of pudding said.
The door was quickly shut. In his own bedroom, Potion heard the scream and smirked. It seemed his father finally noticed something was alive in there. The very next day, Princess Celestia was surprised to receive a letter from Script. It read:
Dear Princess:
I learned it's best to clean out the fridge more often.
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Please, let them keep the pudding monster as a pet !
7224473 Well, there are weirder pets (Celestia's Phoenix anyone?) but I'm not sure how I'd be able to fit the pudding monster in and not clash with the general tone of the story.
Wait, Rarity is paying him Alimony!?!
7225153 To be fair, I would think Script is probably paying alimony checks to her as well.
7225158 I'm getting a pittance!
7224473 Unless it's like the pudding monster from Cowboy Bebop. In which case, BURN IT WITH FIRE!
I don't know, it wasn't that good for me, but not written bad either.
Not sure it it was the right time for a party, but now that it is done....well it is done.
Yeah, I just realized, what happened to the Rich servants? Was it just that none of them were in the house when the fire started?
Aw, they're bonding~
I didn't know this until nowish, but a quick Google search said that alimony checks generally only happen when the two spouses have very different salaries, and usually only after long marriages. The idea behind them is that financially dependent spouses need help when they lose their financial support. But presumably Written was doing just fine for himself six months ago, and probably nothing significant occurred during their six month marriage to make Script financially dependent on Rarity. So I don't think this works as a reason for why Written can afford this house. Why not just say it was a fixer-upper?
This is insensitive on two levels... First, it's not nice to tell grieving people of their sins, and second, AJ's referring to Diamond's dead parents in the present tense, which is just mean...
*Misty eyes*
...And now I've read the comments where you say that Written Script is paying Rarity alimony too? That doesn't make any sense at all. Why would they randomly exchange their money? That would be like me handing you a ten dollar bill and you handing me back another ten dollar bill. It's a pointless exercise...