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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It was all neat till the introduction of Hopper.
Well, I have really bad feelings about him. He does sound like a Mary Sue.
Thank you for my first comment! I appreciate the honesty there. Hopper's purpose is to take on a role that I couldn't really see any of the existent males in terms of both personality and role. Mac came closest, but despite the princest that will be happening later, I couldn't quite make MacJack work romantically. I took a pair of characters from one of my stock "wish I could write" notes, one of them created by my SO, the other mine, and shaved off some serial numbers, added some worldbuilding graffiti, and gave them a family, which is where Hopper came from.
So I'm left with a character that the Mane 6/Princesses have fallen in love with, because I don't want the sex without the love for the good guys (and the bad guys don't show up until chapter 17, plus I'm having a hard time writing the exploitative sex between them), who is heir to strange powers, and is an alicorn. That was one of my largest problems with publishing, but I wanted to expand the critique field.
What I've tried to do to ameliorate it will be hopefully apparent, in that Hopper's life, while fitting in with what he wants, will in many ways be determined by the desires and actions of others. Luna will be teaching him; the plan is of Celestia's design and Twilight's implementations. After the marriage, he will have no throne; his title will be Co-Consort and Champion, a support for the others and under their command in the field (strict bedroom-outside separation). He'll be Rarity's shield, Dash's anvil, Celestia's sidekick, etc. - filling the roles they need. He's been specifically raised by both his parents and the princesses to fit that way; neither of his parents would have agreed to the deal if it weren't his natural inclination.
I hope to leave him learning to become a good dom but also to be someone who is never left completely on balance. Even when he completes Doctors Sparkle, Celestia, and Luna's advanced course in Dominomics, he'll be teased relentlessly by all of them, dragged along through their interests, be the stay at home dad for the most part, and he'll be happy that way. He'll make mistakes -- he's already made one in one of the chapters undergoing editting -- and while he'll have help getting out, he won't be permitted either to wallow or to avoid responsibility for his own growth.
Mm. I suppose another way to put it is this -- Hopper is why I can write the story, but he's also my major obstacle to overcome, and I hope as more of the chapters pass through editorial gates, I'll demonstrate that there's some value to that.
Thats one hell of a fuckin description son.
7099147 Woot, thanks! Which one, may I ask?