I'm not sure if you can post author updates or anything, but I just was gonna comment that the next chapter should be out tonight, It involves lots of cuddling (can't believe I just said that lol, still feel awkward writing these stories ) so look out for that. I'd also like to say that they're will be a wedding chapter at some point which will probably be followed by the first time sex chapter. Anybody got advice on that, writing romance still feels kinda awkward for me lol. I'm sitting here typing like "and they kissed and uh... there was tongue and stuff. Maybe other stuff down below. Oh my god what am I writing" lol

7004279 The best advice I can give you if you wanna write erotic fiction is to read the really good ones first. There, you'll see tons of ways to describe intimate scenes other than, "...then they went to the room and sexed. Next morning, the sun rose..." And that's usually the time you use tons of metaphors like fire, heat, galaxies, stars, and etc. This is usually the time you apply the golden rule of writing a good fic:

"show, don't tell."

7004279 awesome first chapter. Want more soon!

The argument between them, in my opinion, seems kind of forced— like it was put there so that drama and snuggling ensues.

I felt like it was also resolved too fast, an argument big enough to actually cause Twilight to rage like that usually needs buildup from the start. And I can't tell whether or not the thing I felt "off" was the fact that Rainbow's self-esteem suddenly dropped to 0 once Twilight attacked or whether the argument was resolved far too quickly. I felt like RD's character would have fought more or been more dominant a little bit over Twilight so maybe that's why I couldn't really tell myself that this was Rainbow Dash. The one usually to act like this would be fluttershy.

Nevertheless, I want to see the second chapter.

7005005 Yeah I mean i'm not gonna lie I thought of all that same stuff while writing it lol. Though I just kinda tossed it out there without editing it, I wrote and then just published lol. I do wanna go back and add more fuel to the flame for Twilight to be mad and to actually make what she says a little more harsh so that Rainbow getting depressed so easily makes more sense.

I do wanna give Rainbow the more brave and brash personality but at the same time I am looking to explore her softer side which is something i've always loved in Twidash fics. I'm gonna put up the next chapter soon and I think you'll definitely see what I mean. *cough* *cough* dash likes being little spoon.

Not a bad story; cute and it shows the consequences of speaking/acting rashly.

A small bit of advice to help clean up your writing: be mindful of the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. Your determines ownership or association, and you're is a contraction meaning 'you are'. There are several points in the story where you use 'your' when you should be using 'you're', like here:

your just one big screw up!

There are a few punctuation and capitalisation issues I noticed, too, but the your and you're thing is a personal pet peeve.

Hope I'm not coming across as pretentious, but it'll help your writing! Cheers.