5. Daytime with a Kitten
Never have I been so humiliated. Luna felt like crying. Brought to exhaustion by a kitten, blackmailed by Discord, and now hiding from her sister in one of the palace's attics. Worst of all, the only times the puff would leave her alone were when she tried to teach it obedience. Everything seemed like a giant cosmic joke.
"Mew! Mew mew mew!" The kitten squeaked from Luna's head, furiously trying to claw her ear. A day ago the Princess would have been furious. Now she accepted it the necessary price to keep it from causing more damage. At least now it wasn't running about. Rhythmically flicking her ear, Luna focused on the bestiary Fluttershy had given her.
"Aether creatures are a strange and mysterious race, the origins of which are shrouded in mystery," the princess read out loud. Some authority on supernatural creatures this mare is! she grumbled to herself. I bet she hasn't seen an aether kitten in her life! Sadly, this was the only resource available. Luna herself, had never been interested in animals, save for a few dream creatures. She could tell what was what, but when it came to any details she was notoriously uneducated. "From what is known, they are born as a result of a powerful magic discharge, thus their name," she read drearily.
Oh, the cluelessness! The alicorn snorted. The kitten probably knew more. The author certainly was full of herself, using long descriptions and complicated phrases to increase the word count, while saying nearly nothing about the beasts themselves. Luna skimmed through several pages until she reached anything remotely useful. Each time she flicked a page with magic, the kitten would instantly divert its attention and gnaw on her horn the moment it lit up.
"Puff," Luna said, more out of habit than anything else. The kitten hardly ever listened. "Wig!"
No reaction. The creature continued chewing on the horn for a few seconds more, then observing the lack of magic, went back to the task of tormenting Luna's ear.
"Of all the ponies in Equestria, you had to pick me," she sighed.Anyway, back to reading this useless trash. From now on she was going to flip the pages by hoof.
Apparently, magic was the only thing aether creatures could consume, be it direct spells or aether sources. A good thing to know. Guess I must definitely keep it away from Sis? Although, it's so tempting... I'd like to see how stuck up you are when you wake with a kitten chewing on your feathers, Sis. Bet you'll drop the greater-than-all stance and start swearing like a mailmare in a tempest! Knowing you, though, maybe even Puff would find it difficult to stomach your sarcasm.
"Mew!" The kitten leapt of Luna's head in a desperate attempt to capture the elusive ear. Alas, the ear flicked again, causing the creature to flop on the floor.
"Careful, Puff." Luna didn't bat an eye. The first few times it had plopped on the floor, she had been horrified it could hurt itself. The next dozen times she had been annoyed at its persistence. After that Luna had simply stopped caring. If anything was wrong, the kitten would let her know... by mewing incessantly like a weather siren.
"Says here that you should be fed once per day," the Princess stated. "Hear that?" She booped it gently on the nose. "Once! Not every ten minutes!" The kitten rolled on its back, trying to claw the hoof with all four paws. The attempt made the alicorn smile. "Just look how fat you've become," she scratched its tummy, receiving an annoyed mew in response. "Keep this up and you'll become fat as Sis."
"Mew mew mia?" The kitten asked.
"Yes, that's right." Luna pulled her hoof away to turn another page. "Mew mew mia. My big fat sister. She spends all her time sitting on her throne, munching cake, swapping scrolls with her protégé, and giving me condescending looks. You're lucky you're not her pet."
The kitten paused, looking at her with curiosity.
"If you were her pet, she'd be all like this." Luna straightened up, giving herself an air of extreme dignity, then cleared her throat. Looking at the kitten, she sighed heavily. "Moonlight, know that I am not disappointed." The kitten tilted its head, blinking. "It is natural for you to understand nothing of this world. And I very much want to help you, but I can't save you from yourself." Luna looked away, sighing demonstratively again. For several seconds she said nothing, facing away from the creature. "I do wish you'd talk to me. Everything about you I learn from Fluttershy."
"Mrew?" A confused sound came from the kitten.
"I have known you your entire life." Luna turned around theatrically, waving her mane as she did. Her eyes seemed full of concern to the point of tears. "Why do you act this way, Moonlight?" She extended a hoof in the kitten's direction. "Do you still think of the moon? We are together again, just like before. Why can't we—"
The sound of galloping hooves interrupted Luna's speech. Somepony was rushing towards the room. The alicorn barely had enough time to push the kitten out of view, than the door swung open.
"Princess!" A Royal Guard ran in, gasping for air. The single word was said with such an amount of relief, that far a moment Luna wasn't sure if war hadn't broken out. "Thank the stars! We've been looking everywhere for you. Her Majesty wishes to speak to you. Urgently."
Curses! Maybe a war would have been better. "I'll be with you shortly," Luna said coldly. "Wait for me in front of the door." A single look from her ensured the guard didn't think twice. Saluting, he quickly left, shutting the door behind him. "Puff," Luna whispered. As if on command, the kitten ran to her. "I have to go for a bit. Now, I'll only be away for a few minutes."
"Mew mew mia?" It jumped against her hooves.
"Yes, mew mew mia." The Princes pushed it away, taking a quick glance at the door. "Big fat mew mew mia wants to talk to me. While I'm away, I want you to be quiet." Fat chance of that. Stars, why do I even bother? "You can destroy anything here, just don't leave the room and be quiet!"
The kitten tilted its head sideways, looking at her attentively. I'll take that as a yes. Luna gave Puff one final glance, then left the attic. The guard was waiting for her patiently outside, as he should. Definitely one of Celestia's, in more ways than one. Luna could tell he was old school — the kind that still regarded her as less than equal to her sister. Oh course he'd be the one to search every last room in the palace. Somepony wants to show off in front of "mommy."
"Where is she?" Luna trotted on impatiently. She wasn't at all looking forward to her conversation with Celestia. "Throne room?"
"Her Majesty is in the garden, Princess." A cautious reply by any means. At least he didn't call Luna "Highness" to her face.
And of course you have to take me to her. She continued without saying a word. Stars forbid that I go by myself. Why, I might make her wait a whole minute more, or something. Passing through the corridors, Luna noticed more guards stand to attention. Celestia had definitely gone all out, and that was never a good sign. The slight sliver of hope Luna hold onto was that it might have to do with some new official visit.
"Did she say anything?" Luna wasn't able to keep herself from asking. All this time and I still feel like a filly who's been caught stealing cookies from the kitchen. Another thing I have Puff to thank for!
"Only that she wished urgently to speak to you, Princess." The reply was neutral as a weathervane on a windless day. "She did appear somewhat concerned."
Great. Like I didn't have enough problems already.
The royal gardens were completely deprived of guards. Normally, Luna wouldn't care. It wasn't like she spent much time there. In the present circumstances, however, she was slightly alarmed. Her sister obviously wanted to have a one on one, and somewhere that nopony could listen in to their conversation. She couldn't have found out, right? The thought pierced her like a cone of ice. It was too soon! Luna had been so careful not to let anything slip. Had she failed? Fearing the worst, she turned towards the Royal Guard to ask for a hint, but he was no longer there. Some guard you are! She frowned. Pester me all the way to the garden, but chicken out before setting a hoof in it. And everypony wonders why I prefer to be on my own. Sis, your guards are totally useless!
"Afternoon, Sister," Celestia said a short distance away. She was standing by a small bushel, her phoenix perched on a nearby stand. "Did you sleep well?"
"Hi, Sis." She knows. I know she knows! "Well, the night was a bit busy, so—"
"When you didn't come to breakfast this morning, I was worried." Celestia turned around. Uh-oh. That's the pre-accusatory tone. "In fact, I was so worried after our talk yesterday, that I—" she suddenly froze mid-sentence, her face twisting in horror. "What happened to you, Lulu?!"
"Err?" Luna blinked in surprise, as her sister literally rushed towards her. What did I miss?
"Your face, your horn!" Luna felt a healing spell being cast on her. "How stupid are you?! You think grinding your horn off will be of any help? You think that'll make your pain go away?!"
"Oh, that!" You got me scared there for a moment, Sis. "It's nothing."
"And what's this?" Celestia put a hoof under her sister's ear. "Piercings? Honestly? Trying to make a statement at your age!"
Great. Here we go again. Luna snorted. I have one goth phase and you keep bringing it up. And I am not piercing my ears! If you had a cat for a pet, instead of a stuck up phoenix, you might possibly understand.
"I've done something wrong, haven't I?" Celestia sighed deeply. "I should have taken greater care, than shutting you out. Especially, since I knew what you were going through."
"Sis, listen for a moment." And we are back to the usual drama. Stars, there are times I wish I was the older sister. Luna rolled her eyes. She was about to add something with her own blend of sarcasm, when she spotted something in the sky. "Stars, no!" she shouted. Why?! Why can't you do one simple thing, Puff?
The kitten either completely missed Luna's hint to float away, or did the opposite just to spite her. And if that was not bad enough, its presence attracted the attention of someone else. Philomena, Celestia's phoenix, managed to somehow sense the puff and quickly turned its direction. Oh my stars! Luna turned pale, as she realized. Philomena was made of magic. The kitten ate magic!
"Sis!" Luna hugged Celestia tightly, ensuring she had no way of turning around. I so much hate myself for doing this! "It has been so difficult for me!" She pretended to cry on her shoulder. In truth, her eyes did not leave the kitten. "Please, don't give up on me! I'm no longer sure what I'm doing." There go my last shreds of dignity. How in Equestria will I dig myself out of this huge mess?
"There, there, Lulu." Celestia patted her on the back. "I'm here. Everything will work out. You'll see."
Meanwhile, behind the Sun Princess, the kitten had apparently chosen a new target. Attracted by the phoenix, it had diverted its path. Sure, get impressed by a flaming pheasant, why don't you? It's not like I'm the Princess of the Night or anything. A touch of envy mixed with Luna's alarm. She thought of snatching the kitten and flying off, as she had done yesterday, but Celestia's return hug locked her in place. Magic was also out of the question — last time Luna had tried to levitate it, the kitten had devoured her spell.
Please don't eat Mena, please don't eat Mena! she prayed. Unsurprisingly, the kitten took no notice, landing clumsily on the bird's perch... and slipping halfway off. For several agonizing seconds it attempted to claw itself back up, until Philomena grabbed it by the back of the neck with her beak, and pulled it beside her. Do you have any self-preservation skills?! Luna wondered, while pretending to be sobbing on her sister's shoulder. Claws extended, the kitten took a short while to find its balance, looked at the phoenix, and expressed its gratitude by taking a wobbly step forward, then sinking its teeth into Philomena's wing.
Ouch! Luna's entire body shook, imagining the pain. Told you! Leave your guard down for a second and this happens. Strangely enough, the bird didn't seem bothered in the least. Lifting her wing, Philomena let the kitten pluck out one of her feathers and continue to chew it. Seconds later a new flame appeared in the empty spot on her wing, forming into a new feather.
Hey! That's not fair! Luna grumbled to herself.
"What caused the change, Lulu?" Celestia pulled her sister back, just as Luna was trying to see what the kitten would be up to next. For a moment, the Princess of the Night considered repeating her sobbing act, but the tears in Celestia's eyes made her reconsider. Damn it, Sis! Why always so emotional?
"I... err... I..." Curses! I can't think of any new lies!
"I went to your room," Celestia said quietly. "It was in shambles. The furniture, the bed, the walls... you tried to destroy your own room, and I didn't even hear!" She paused. I don't even want to know what you saw there. Luna swallowed. Part of her remembered chasing the kitten furiously as it went in and out of the dreamscape. I knew I should have cleaned up!
"Things are getting better, Tia." Luna forced a smile. Her eyes glanced briefly behind her sister. The kitten was sitting on the edge of the perch and using a single paw to tentatively claw at Philomena. On her part, the phoenix just stood there patiently, doing absolutely nothing. Luna could almost hear the bird sigh.
"You're not just saying this to calm me down, are you?" Celestia looked at her.
"Wha?" Luna blinked. Did I miss something you said? Curse that puff! "Oh, no. Things are really getting better. I just need some time, that's all." She released the hug pulling away from her sister. "I just need a bit more time."
"Time is not always the answer, Luna." Celestia shook her head. "Avoiding a problem never sets things right. Trust me, I know."
"Aaa-ha." Luna's glance darted towards the kitten again. The little furball was now rubbing itself against the phoenix. What? You managed to get it under control in less than a minute? How, Mena, how? As if hearing her, the bird looked at Luna, silently asking "what's this you have here"?
"Thank you, Sis!" Luna resorted to another hug. This time, however, she used the occasion to send a message. Waving a hoof, then moving it in front of her mouth in unmistakable shhh fashion, the alicorn made it clear she didn't want the secret out. The phoenix facewinged. Oh, you did not just do that, fire chicken! What do you take me for? A filly of ten?
"I'm always here for you, little sis," Celestia said, very much oblivious to the scene behind her. "And I promise you, I'll find a way to make things better."
No! The talk is almost over! Desperate, Luna made signs for Philomena to grab the kitten and fly out of sight. The absurdity of the situation wasn't lost on anyone — the Princess of the Night, and diarach of Equestria, begging a bird to keep a secret from her sister. At this point, Luna no longer questioned why she was doing this. The only thing she knew was that the show had to go on... because of reasons. Much to her fortune, the phoenix complied. Grabbing the kitten by the back of the neck again, she flew into the sky and out of view. Now I have one more creature to blackmail me, Luna thought bitterly. At least she could stop with the act.
"I really think you should try to make some friends, Lulu," Celestia said. The notion instantly made Luna roll her eyes. "It's like I keep telling Twilight. She used to be somewhat like you at first. And look at her now." Stars, not this again! In any other day, Luna would have stomped off, furious. Because of the whole kitten business, however, her only option was to endure, listen and agree. Thanks again, Puff! Suppressing a grumble, she took a few steps back.
"I have friends, Tia." Even if most of your subjects treat me as a second fiddle.
"No, Luna, you don't," Celestia sighed. "Friends are ponies you spend time with, ponies you invite over or go to visit them more than once a month. And I am not talking about the dreamscape." The mentioned of the dreamscape made Luna feel uneasy. "Do you have such friends?"
"Of course," she quickly answered. "There's Firefly, and Minty, and Shadow Hoof, and..." Luna stopped. Her sister was giving her the oh-you-poor thing look again. I have it when you do that! "What?"
"Firefly vanished over a millennia ago," Celestia sighed. "Minty, Shadow and all the ponies you knew have long since passed. Even your ex-coltfriend disappeared once Cadence took the throne of the Crystal Empire."
"Oh." I knew that! And good riddance! I'm done with bad colts!
"I know!" The Sun Princess beamed, causing chills to run down Luna's spine. "I'll invite the Elements to spend a while at the palace. I'm sure that will help! That way you can get closer and learn—"
"No!" Luna shouted. The last thing I need is more ponies! I can barely keep puff a secret as it is!
"Oh?" Celestia arched a brow.
"I meant only Fluttershy would be enough," Luna quickly added with the fakest smile possible. At least she knows about Puff.
"The Element of Kindness?" Celestia considered, hoof on chin. "That's a splendid choice! Who better than to show you kindness than Fluttershy? Stars know, I haven't been giving you enough." Again with the self-depreciation. Seriously, Sis! Maybe you need some sort of therapy as well?
"Yes. I'll go tell her that—" Luna began, but Celestia's raised hoof made her stop.
"Don't be silly, Sister. I'll send Spike a message. In the meantime, maybe you can explain what this Night Gala thing is?"
"Night Gala?" Uh-oh. I completely forgot about that.
"According to Discord, you made him the guest of honour," Celestia said sternly. "As he put it 'a key figure of Luna's first very own Gala'. Now, I'm all for you enhancing your social life, but organizing a Gala tomorrow, even with Discord's help, might be going a bit too fast?"
"Err, I was about to talk to you about that." Tomorrow?! Discord, you snake! Next time I see you, I'll strangle you with your own tail! It was supposed to be at the end of the week! "I thought that it might break the monotony and..." Her words trailed off. And what? And that we could eat cake? I'm so doomed!
"Luna, you really are the best sister one could wish for." Celestia patted her on the back. "Of course it's normal for you to have your own Gala. And between you and me, I could really use the distraction. Having it once per year really is barely enough for me to recharge my batteries, so to speak," she chuckled, hoof in front of mouth.
"I'm... glad." Luna smiled. This went surprisingly well.
"Don't worry about a thing. I'll send a scroll to Twilight to help with the organization of things. You know how much she enjoys doing that. And of course, I and the other Elements will lend a hoof as well."
"Of course." This is so weird! If I didn't know better I'd think I was dreaming.
"There's just one last thing, though." Celestia moved closer. I knew it was too good to be true! Go ahead, Sis. Let me have it. I bet it's about yesterday's dream mess up. Or me hiding in the attic. Or something or other. "Please take a bath," Celestia whispered in Luna's ear. "You smell like cat litter."
Damn you, Puff! Haven't you embarrassed me enough?!
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...am I the only one at this point who thinks Celestia knows full well about Puff/Moonlight and is just trying to see how far she can push Luna?
As usual, another excellent chapter Lise!!
I'm just waiting for celestial to stumble across Puff and think he's a normal stray kitten and try to keep him for herself. Then poor Luna will have to try and hide the fact that she knows Puff or that Puff is magical. Or Celestial could "gift" this random kitten to Luna as an exercise in making friends.
I need more of this
7002849 :) Only Celestia knows... :D
7002873 Even kittens can't be this cruel. :)
7003091 s8.favim.com/orig/72/beautiful-black-and-white-cat-hairless-Favim.com-698308.jpg
7003093 :) Hmmm. Not impossible, though highly doubtful :D
7003160 :D No worries, there still are several chapters remaining :)
7003341 :) Corrected :D Thanks :)
Also, very glad you enjoyed. Tiny kittens could be scary, though.
Hehe, Celestia thinks Luna is moping about an old flame when really it's that dang cat!
7004292 Hmm. Who do you think will win - Kitten of Phoenix? :P
7010460 :) Indeed so :D
Thanks :))
Question? Do Aether kittens even poop?
7002849 Yeah, she's usually carelessly cruel enough in these fics to do that.
7013107 If they do, it's magical poop