The Misadventures of Fanta Shock

by Feathers and Fanfics

Chapter 9: To Tartarus and Back

Fanta groaned, and shifted slightly. She snorted as the stale air filled her lungs and rolled over on the cold, hard ground. Much to her surprise, her legs sounded like chains when she moved them. Frowning, she moved again. Yup, that was the noise of rattling chains. How peculiar. Slowly moving her head, she looked down at her hooves and saw they were shackled to an iron ring in the floor. Ahhh that makes more sense. She slowly stood up and looked around. She was chained to a huge stone platform to which numerous rope bridges were connected, leading to other platforms like hers. They all seemed to be floating, the dark grey of the stone silhouetted against the blood-red sky. Moving slowly to the edge of her platform, she looked down. Below her was more sky and more platforms. After a few moments, her sense of depth perception returned and she realised that this place was actually cylindrical in shape. The diameter must be at least a hundred miles, with those eerie, crimson-sky walls. Were they even sky? Come to think of it, where was she?

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. The last think she remembered was that rasping laugh as she was pulled into the portal.

"Aww, hay. I was used as a sacrifice when I stepped on that magic circle thing, wasn't I?" She facehoofed, and turned to explore her own platform. It was circular, with the occasional stain of... She tried not to think about what the dark stains in the stone were. Looking up, she saw more platforms. How many were there?

Squinting, she could see some different platforms at the very top of this hellish cylinder. They looked blue and shined like crystals. She could also just make out a bridge leading to what looked like a door, with the shadow of some large creature visible on the underside of the crystalline bridge it occupied.

That's when it hit her. She was in Tartarus, the underworld, the place where ponies and other creatures were imprisoned and punished. The feeling of cold dread crawled up her spine like spiders going for her neck, her breathing deepened as she tried to blot out the unimaginable horrors that- Actually, come to think of it, for all the torture and pain that was supposed to be happening, it was awfully quiet. Gingerly peeking over the edge again, she observed that there were no ponies on the platforms below her.

As she pondered this, she heard a voice behind her.

"Miss... Fanta Shock, right?" She spun around, even with chains shackling her, she could best any eldritch creature! The checklist-wielding, pale green pegasus stallion wearing a headband adorned with plastic horns, and a fake red tail with a spike on the end, raised an eyebrow.

"You alright, Miss?"

Fanta blinked in disbelief.

"Am I alright? Am I alright?! Where are the torture devices? The burning pits of sulphur? The haunting screams of the souls doomed to spend eternity in this hellish abyss?!" Fanta wheezed and snorted angrily, rage shooting out from her eye.

"We don't do much of that anymore, Miss." The stallion sighed.

"Ponies are usually good at heart, so much so that we only get a single soul here every few years. All the dark torturers and demonic flayers quit centuries ago. Cerberus is only here because his contract doesn't run out for millennia to come." The stallion flipped through the checklist he was holding as he spoke.

"And I'm dressed like this because I burned a pony's house down, and the boss was so understaffed when I got here, he said I could skip eternal torture if I worked for him." He looked up at Fanta.

"You only brought an eyepatch and a frying pan, right? We left your eyepatch on, but we had to confiscate the frying pan." Fanta pouted as he checked his list.

"Hold on, you're not put down for any crimes! What're you doing here?" He raises both eyebrows, which looked rather unnatural.

"I was tricked and used as equine sacrifice so an ancient evil could arise and destroy the diarchy." The stallion chuckled at this.

"Well, Miss. Looks like you get to meet the boss." The chains disintegrated, and Fanta stood up, wary of her escort.

"What's... What's your name?" Fanta asked.

"Ashen Furnace. Appropriate, huh?" The stallion yawned and headed down a bridge that descended downwards, and she followed.

A few dozen bridges later, Fanta flopped, panting, on the cool stone of the platform she currently occupied.

"Tired already?" The stallion rolled his eyes.

"We're almost there, come on." Fanta's eye twitched, and she spun around to face him.

"YOU SAID THAT TEN PLATFORMS AGO!!" The stallion nodded.

"But we really are almost there, this time. Look." He gestured to a floating building a few platforms away. It was shaped like a modern office building from Manehattan, with revolving doors and well-cleaned windows. Shaking her head in disbelief, Fanta stood up, and they continued down the bridges and platforms, until they reached the main doors.

Stepping in, it was much like a hotel check-in interior, with potted plants and carpet that was a tasteful shade of red. The purple unicorn behind the desk, dressed similarly to Ashen, looked up, and put down her video game.

"Tartarian hotel services, how may I help you?" She chanted in a sickeningly sweet voice. Fanta cringed.

"I'll let Berry Pond take care of you, now." Ashen nodded and left Fanta to her fate.

"Uhh.. I was used as an equine sacrifice and brought down here?" Fanta warily replied to Berry's enquiry.

"Ahhh yes, well first you-"

"Excuse me, Tartarian Hotel services? Who do you offer services to?" Fanta interrupted.

"Oh, anypony, honey! We get creatures from all different places and dimensions who need a place to stay between universes!" Berry grinned.

"Now, as I was saying, you go through those doors, take a left, go straight until you reach room forty, then go right, take the lift to floor thirteen, then take a left, give back the left and go straight on right, take the next lift to floor twenty-six, then jump up and down on the spot three times, take fifty paces forward then open the big double doors, then repeat the whole process! The second time around, make sure to do four jumps, or your soul will be entrapped by the hotel! Then, just go through the next set of doors, and you'll find the boss!" Berry smiled sweetly, not out of breath at all.

Fanta nodded dumbly, and slowly trotted over to the doors at the end of the hallway.

5 hours later, a white unicorn kicked the double doors so hard, they smashed out of shape. This unicorn was a mare, with an eyepatch over one eye, and a crimson, dishevelled mane. She was covered in dirt and scratches, and her single orange eye was staring daggers at the single occupant of the room. Really, really sharp daggers.

The centre of her seething hatred was hunched over a computer, tapping at the keys with clawed hands. Looking up at the irate invader, they sighed.

"If yer here to complain, thae complaints desk is doonstairs, lass. Ah dae'nt take complaints up 'ere, uh've got tae mich werk tae dae." Fanta blinked, feeling like she couldn't speak due to the thickness of the figure's accent.

"I was unwillingly sent here as sacrifice, and I-" the creature perked up, and stood on its hind legs.

"Sacrifice, y'say? That would explain th'weird email ah got yisterday, askin' me tae overthrow the alicorns... Ach well, ah s'pose it'd be a nice change. Gimme yer soul, lassie." The creature stepped forward into the light, revealing themselves to Fanta.

The creature was twice as high as Celestia, with a ridgy, carapace-like skin that moved like a huge suit of black, dull armour. The hands were claws, and the creature possessed a black tail covered in barbs. The head was built like a helmet, with fiery red eyes burning out at her, and two cruel, twisting horns spiking out of holes in the shell-like exoskeleton. A lump formed in Fanta's throat, and she stepped back, searching the room for weapons.

The room itself was not unlike an office, with a computer on a desk, filing cabinets, pictures depicting eldritch abominations celebrating birthday parties, that sort of thing. What caught her eye was a cabinet on the far side of the room labelled "confiscations". She quickly formulated a plan, as the creature swung a clawed hand at her. Dodging under his attack, she weaved between his legs, leaping at the computer. As he turned around, she hurled it at him, and it smashed against his head, resulting in a grunt of frustration as he pulled it off. By that time, Fanta had opened the cabinet and retrieved a weapon to defeat the monster.

The creature shook his head. Next time, he'd just buy a normal PC, those gaming ones were heavy. He looked up at the mare above him, weapon raised.

"Aw, hoots."

CLANG

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

Every worker in the hotel heard the noises ring out across the underworld, shock waves borne of pain and frustration shook the souls of all nearby, instilling fear as they cowered behind desks and lava-filled coffins, terrified of the war being waged on the boss's floor.

After a few minutes, the clanging stopped. Tartarus was silent as everyone waited for the victor to arise, and proclaim their dominance over the other.

On floor 52, the creature stood stoicly, staring defiantly at Fanta. It moved to speak, and then one of its horns fell off.

"Wha-" it stuttered, as its dark, twisted carapace helmet broke apart, and fell off.

Fanta's eye twitched, and her pupil constructed until it was barely visible. Her hoof holding the dented frying pan shook slightly. The creature's head, though deformed and withered, was the head of a cow.

A. Cow.

Fanta spoke through her gritted teeth.

"What is your name?" The creature, dazed at having received so many blows to the head, thought for a moment.

"Moocifer!"

CLANG

A few minutes after the final sound rang out, reception's lift opened, and Fanta stepped out. She was holding the frying pan in her magic, as well as another item that sent all the staff ponies in reception running for their lives.

She slowly walked out the front doors, and started to make her way up the rope bridges and platforms, on her way up to the gates of Tartarus.

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Shining Armour sighed. His men were swarming all over Sugarcube Corner, looking for clues as to the whereabouts of two ponies. A pink pony, one of Twilight's friends, had told the soldiers that there were five ponies in cloaks, even though he'd only arrested four, on grounds of using forbidden magic. The pink mare had also told him that a white unicorn with crimson hair and an eyepatch had helped evacuate the building, with splash-fang ice creams (which he guessed were flash-bang grenades), but she went missing after investigating the room full of cloaked ponies. He turned to hear the report of two of his sentries, when a grating noise, like opening a long-forgotten door, filled the air. Running inside Sugarcube Corner, his head spun around, searching for the source of the noise. He spied a bright light coming from the room that the summoners had been using.

Spear raised, he burst through the door, stopping in his tracks. His jaw dropped, and he took a step back. In front of him were the gates of Tartarus. The dark powers emanating from the evil gates made his horn hurt. The ritual must have worked, a creature was coming to lay waste to Equestria! He shouted for his men, and started is during orders. As they lined up in a defensive line around the portal, the gates opened. Out stepped a white unicorn with a crimson mane. As soon as she'd crossed the threshold, the gates slammed shut and faded away.

Flabbergasted, Shining pointed his spear at her.

"A-are you Fanta Shock?" His voice sounded weak, like a kitten's. What kind of creature was pulled to Tartarus, and then walks out alive?

The mare nodded, dropping something at Shining's hooves. Every guard in the room went into a stunned silence, staring at the object as Fanta slipped past them, and made her way home. Shining picked up the almost-destroyed frying pan by the handle, staring at the cruel, twisting black horn inside.

As Fanta crawled into bed, she sighed and curled up. Surely, next week would be easier. This week had been (literally, in some cases) hell, and she just wanted to rest. Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep.

----------------------

Moocifer, covered in bandages and pony aids trying to apply more, looked up at his boss.

"Uh'm sorree, the wee lass wess tae quick fer an ol' demon like mesel'-"

"It's alright, Moocifer. I understand you haven't fought anyone for millennia." The other occupant of the room smiled up at Moocifer and he had to grip his knees to stop them from knocking.

"However, this cannot be forgiven. This Fanta Shock must be dealt with as soon as possible." Moocifer nodded quickly.

"I understand, but what're ye gonna dae aboot 'er?" He was sweated profusely, soaking his bandages.

"Why, I shall send someone else after her, of course. I am a princess - I have many... Connections."

Comments

[Aliucon]

At first (as in, the first few chapters) I was wondering what was up with the tags chosen, but now I can quite appreciate the reason. Always great to see something with an overarching plotline that doesn't take itself too seriously or is just fine with throwing this kind of stuff in scenes. Keep up the good work.

As for critiques, it's hard to do it on a fic that's supposed to be random, especially when the writing's fine. There's some words misplacement ("Were they even sky?" should be "Was there even a sky?", "her pupil constructed until it was barely visible" should probably use something like "constricted" instead), but the sentence formation overall is not at all bad, so I'm sure you can do excellent with a bit more attention to detail.

Additionally, though the happenings in the fic tend to be amusing, I'm not sure about the main character herself. So far, the only inherent traits from her the reader knows is that she hates a lot of things (except sleeping, coffee and Cherilee, which, to be fair, are things that I love too), but still has a strong sense of justice... somehow. Now, it's completely possible that this is intentional for the purposes of the story, or, though her character would seem like she has a strong underlying reason for how she is, she actually doesn't and this is your way of subverting the expectations of the audience (which would be funny, to be fair). In that case, well, you do you, buddy. xD

It's fair to keep it in mind, at any rate.

Once again, keep up the good work.

[Feathers and Fanfics]

7056393 Thank you for your input!

I am hoping to expand on Fanta's character a little more in future chapters, but for now I'm happy to let her be just yet constantly grumpy.

I've actually got quite a few things planned, but I'm not one to spoil.

Again, thank you for your kind words, ideas and criticisms.