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Lyra's Lost Life2,067 words
Lyra, Late for a Look1,953 words
Two Turns Trio1,845 words
Drunken Discord Disco1,402 words
Chain to Chain1,206 words

Two Turns Trio

"Why hello there little pony." Discord cackled, locking eyes with Lyra. "It's Lyra, isn't it? Lyra Heartstrings?" Lyra couldn't move herself, she could only gulp and stare. "I must thank you for releasing me once again. But why would you set free a god of chaos intentionally? You've seen what I'm capable of."

"I-I-I... uh... I was..." Lyra stammered and thought, before she gathered her composure and held her two front hooves in front of her ready to brawl. "I'm here to defeat you once again. Then I'll be considered a hero as well." She swung and hit Discord hard in the nose.

"Ow." He rubbed where she hit him, feeling for any blood. "That's not going to do anything you foal. You don't know the entire story yet." He continued rubbing at his nose and sat down on the pedestal he was being displayed on. "Haven't you noticed I haven't spread chaos abound yet? I could easily get away and do so."

Lyra thought for a moment. "So... What are you still doing here."

"Well for one, I'm interested in how a pony becomes bipedal, and two, you woke me up too early." Discord rested his head in his talon.

"I'm sorry, what? Too early for what? I thought you'd love to get out and spread chaos, especially sooner." This was strange, he wasn't acting anything like Twilight said he would. He hadn't used the slightest bit of power since he'd been unfrozen.

"Holy fuck. The statue is talkin'!" Berry Punch exclaimed. "I need ta lay off the booze. In fact, Imma sleep it off. G'night Lyra." The very instant she finished her sentence she collapsed to the ground in a drunken stupor, snoring.

"Now that's a pony I'd like to know." Discord chuckled. "So, you going to explain how you walk on two legs Lyra?"

"I practiced, so what? Would you kindly explain why you haven't plummeted Equestria into a thousand years of chaos?

"Like I've said Miss Heartstrings..." Discord looked back at Lyra for a moment. "Sorry, would it be Mrs. Heartstrings?"

"Of course." Lyra was not impressed.

"You've woken me up too early."

"And what do you mean by that? Does it matter when you've been released? I thought all that mattered to you was spreading chaos." Lyra looked a bit urgent. This wasn't the way she thought it would happen.

"I mean that there's a set plan for this. You see, it didn't happen the way you were told." Discord actually used his power for once, producing a pipe, glasses, and a book titled 'What Really went down with Celestia and Discord.' "You see, way back when Celestia and Luna were just little fillies with monochrome hair colors, I myself was a young, strapping lad myself. When I met the royalty, it was pretty simple to get along with them, they enjoyed my sense of humor and fun almost as much as I did. We actually grew old together, and I watched as they made the pony race what it is today. But in a world of ponies, such a dashing young draconoquis had no real place to fit in beyond the royal grounds. Even then, visiting ponies would have such a fright at seeing me, I had to hide away almost all the time. For as you see, the pony race was still young and ignorant, they weren't ready for such a terrifying creature to walk amongst them. I brought my concerns to the Princesses, and we all came up with an idea. I'd become one of their statues, and emerge every thousand years. We even made a game out of it. Celestia would send her best ponies against me to see how they would fare. I would be completely released when ponies would be able to love and tolerate me." Discord closed the book and handed it to Lyra. "Sorry, I don't do autographs."

"So... You're not a bad guy?" Lyra accepted the book and used her magic to store it in hammer-space, a spell she'd read out of one of Twilight's books.

"Of course not. I never hurt anypony did I? Take a look at what I did, I thought it was pretty funny. I mean chocolate rain! did nopony get that?"

Lyra looked at him for a moment. "You mean like the Hay Ponday song? OH! That's actually pretty hilarious now!" Lyra started to laugh.

"Ya see? It was all jokes." Discord chuckled along. "You see we don't always immediately try the villain act, Celestia calls in a few ponies first, a control group if you will, and then I'm introduced. We gauge their reaction, and if they take off in fear, then I go out and cause a bit of mischief until it's time to be frozen again. I play a game with the new generation of the Elements of Harmony, and then I sleep for another thousand years."

"Uh-huh. And if they don't?" Lyra asked, tapping a hoof against her chin.

"Then I'll be free to do as I please, possibly living with the princesses once again."

"And that's obviously not happened yet. How many times have you been frozen exactly?" When Lyra asked this Discord's face dropped to an annoyed expression.

"About four. It's taking longer than expected." He gave out a sigh. "They have shown signs of improvement. They don't run in fear anymore, and less and less even know who I am. Basically what I'm getting at is that while there are breakthroughs, they're taking too long for my liking."

"I'll bet. Sleeping in stone doesn't look too comfortable." Lyra looked Discord over. He wasn't nearly as intimidating as Twilight had made him out to be.

"Thank you for letting me out once again, at least for a few minutes, but I'm going to have to go back." He groaned.

"Wait. I let you out for a reason." Lyra stopped him as he walked towards the castle.

"Oh?" He gave her a hard look over. "I see. You want to be seen as a hero too, just like Twilight Sparkle and the others eh?" He paused and a grin grew across his face. "But that's not all, you're looking to change Equestria, make it more lively and fresh. Life's gotten too dull for you and you want to become so much more, as well as make your home even greater. Oh I like you Lyra Heartstrings, I like you alot."

"How do you?"

"Simple, you're quite easy to read my dear. I've gotta say, I like this idea. How 'bout you, me and your drunken friend over there go bring this idea to ol' Tia eh?" Discord floated about with a smile, and renewed joy. He was excited now. "I'm gonna make you big kid, just watch!" He came over and placed an arm around her shoulders. "Lyra, goddess of chaos! You like that?"

Lyra slipped out of his grip and pushed his arm aside. "Sorry, I'm taken already."

Discord chuckled and shrugged. "Doesn't hurt to ask. Ah well, at least there's still the princesses." Discord licked the palm of his talon and slicked his hair back, transforming it into long blonde locks. "They've always enjoyed my company."

The two woke Berry Punch, at first she thought Discord was just a drunken hallucination but he proved his existence. In her inebriated state she could only laugh at the fact. They explained their situation to her. "Y'know, I don't give a dayum! I'm jus' tryin' ta get through the day in one piece... wait no... Y'know... I think it'll be better if I just follow Lyra here an' stay outta trouble." She gave out a slight hiccup.

"That's one of the most sensible things I've ever heard you say Berry." Lyra chuckled. They helped Berry up and Discord snapped his fingers, porting them into the royal chambers. The guards were too stunned to react, and when they did, Celestia ordered them to stop.

"Discord, what are you doing out already? I thought my student and her friends sealed you away two weeks ago." Celestia walked over and let Discord hug her.

"Well, we have these two to thank." Discord leaned over and whispered into Celestia's ear. "The pink one was drunk, it was pretty amusing."

"Whadya mean was huh? You undereshtimatin' me? I'm fuckin' Berry Punch! ... No wait... I am Berry Punch... I'd like to fuck me though." Berry chuckled to herself and Lyra could only roll her eyes.

"And who are you?" Celestia turned to the unicorn.

"Me?" Lyra held a hoof against her chest. "I'm Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings, Your Majesty." Lyra gave a small bow and fell on her face. "Sorry, still getting used to walking on two legs." She pushed herself back up and regained her balance.

Celestia gave out a little giggle. "Only two? Why ever would you want to do that my little pony?"

Discord cleared his throat to get the princess's attention. "Actually that's why I'm here now Tia. You see, Lyra here has grand dreams, and she's released me to help her live out those dreams. So that's what we're here to ask. I'm going to make her big, and I need you to let me stay out to do that."

"Oh?" The princess's eyes grew wide as she listened. "Say no more Discord. I'll find a place where you can live in secret." She turned to Lyra. "And you can make your plans with him there Miss Lyra."

Lyra smiled and bowed, actually managing to stay on two legs this time. "Thank you Princess. And, I'm married actually."

"Oh, my apologies, Mrs. Lyra." Celestia giggled.

"Ah, young love. You remember when we would talk about such things Tia?" Discord Smiled as he placed an arm around his old friend's neck.

Celestia's horn glowed and forced his arm off. "Uh, Discord, that was a long long time ago." She blushed and looked to the floor.

Discord chuckled. "Don't worry, you're not my type either. No, this time around I've taken an interest in another pony. If you could, I'd like you to send her over some time if possible." Discord pulled a roll of paper out from behind his ear and unraveled it in front of Celestia.

The princess chuckled. "I thought you'd taken an interest in her. I'll send her out tomorrow old friend, she should be of use to you three as well."

With that the trio thanked the princess and left. Discord had shifted his appearance to a pegasus pony with two spirals, one black and one red on his flank as a cutie mark. He kept his goatee and brown coat with a grey mane and tail. "So where do we start?" Discord asked; Berry let out a hiccup.

Lyra stood proud with one hoof on her hip and the other pointing forward. "Ponyville my friends! We head for Ponyville!"

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The Cokegamer

The Cokegamer #1 · Nov 27th, 2011 · · ·

First of, I love you. This is so much fun
Second, please be Pinkie, please be Pinkie, PLEASE BE PINKIE!

Banksyt

Banksyt #2 · Nov 27th, 2011 · · ·

Oh wow, Discord just became bucking awesome... didn't expect that one comin... loving it!!!
I'm thinking either pinkie pie cause she crazy.. or twilight cause..well she bucking adorable thats why...

Sparx

Sparx #3 · Nov 27th, 2011 · · ·

42195 Aye, how it happened in the show. You'd think they'd have a bit more foresight wouldn't you? Or maybe Celestia just likes to buck with everypony.

E11imist

E11imist #4 · Nov 27th, 2011 · · ·

Love how you cemented Celestia as a troll with the backstory! Also Discord is mt favourite villian and I am loving this fic all the way! You are literary awesome sir.

Night Shine