Vinyl and Octavia Rob a Casino

by DoctorSpectrum

Chapter One: Making Plans and Making Out

“You are going to kiss me, and it will be the best kiss of your entire life up to this point,” said Octavia softly. She was sitting on a table, leaning forwards into Vinyl, their noses pressed into each other. There was a sort of weird passion about it – neither pony was being forceful, but nor were they being careful in their movements.

“Yes ma’am!” said Vinyl excitedly. Stopping the playful and teasing gestures she had been making with Octavia, she relinquished, rotating her head to reach that magnificent mouth of Octavia’s. Their lips touched, and a tiny shudder of pleasure went down Vinyl’s back. As always, Octavia’s lips were soft to the touch in all the right ways. She and Octavia had kissed enough times by now that they knew what the other liked and how to do it. They explored each other’s lips, touching and removing and then touching again, the pleasure from the physical act of kissing being nothing next to the pleasure of kissing the pony they each loved.

The motions were superficial; it was the act that made the two ponies happy. As they continued their private session, they each began trying different things, seeing what they could do to surprise and please the other. Vinyl stopped kissing Octavia’s mouth, and kissed all along her cheek up to her ear, which caused Octavia to let out a small squeak of shock and briefly twitch one of her legs. Octavia pulled Vinyl in closer, wrapping her strong arms around the unicorn and pulling her up to the table with her. Sitting on the edge as she was, and with Vinyl’s body there, Octavia didn’t have the space to sit up properly, and was forced to lie back on the table to accommodate Vinyl.

But that was exactly the way she had planned it.

Octavia’s breathing grew heavier as Vinyl once again started kissing away from her lips – but this time, the unicorn was moving down her body instead of up it. “Do you know what I’m thinking?” Vinyl murmured after a particularly lengthy kiss on Octavia’s throat.

“W-what?” Octavia gasped. She already knew what Vinyl was going to say, but she knew that talking to Vinyl would speed up the process, and hopefully end Vinyl’s teasing sooner rather than later.

“I was thinking,” began Vinyl, intentionally leaving a large pause, “that we should-”

“-discuss funding immediately,” said a new voice as the door to the room slammed open. Octavia bolted upright, holding Vinyl to make sure that she didn’t fall off the table, even as Vinyl herself snapped her head in the direction of the new pony.

“Oh, um, hello boss!” said Octavia friendlily. Vinyl waved a hoof vaguely at their boss, who as always, was wearing his COBRA uniform and mask.

“…What are you two doing in my office?” asked Serpent Superior. “You two are supposed to be in weapons training right now, along with the rest of the COBRA Troopers!” Behind him, peeking into the room, Octavia could see the other senior members of COBRA – Xamot and Tomax, the weird twin business ponies, and Destroyer, the weapons dealer who wore a metallic mask at all times.

Octavia giggled. “Well we were practicing firing our crossbow lasers like everypony else, but we have practiced it so often that, well, we decided to take a quick break in here.”

Vinyl nodded in agreement. “We figured that nopony would come looking in your personal private office which nopony is supposed to enter, so we wouldn’t be caught!” She frowned. “Wait, are we going to get into trouble for breaking into your personal private office which nopony is supposed to enter?”

Serpent Superior sighed slowly as he slipped inside the room, followed closely by the other senior COBRA members. Vinyl and Octavia had been sitting on several rectangular tables, placed by others to form a larger rectangle. Around each were several chairs, and the ponies soon were seated around the table.

Beneath his mask, Serpent Superior opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. Then he opened it again, having thought of something better to say. “If you two are going to slack off during weapons training, then at the very least please do it somewhere else,” he said. “We have very important business to discuss regarding COBRA and its financial situation.”

“Wait, financial situation?” asked Octavia.

“COBRA costs money to run?” added Vinyl. “I thought that what with all of the laser crossbows and uniforms and stuff that we just sort of…didn’t need to worry about money.”

Octavia put a hoof to her chin. “Although…now that I think about it, the flying airship we used on our first mission cannot have been cheap,” she mused. “Nor would the funding for renting this warehouse and hiring somepony to sew all of our uniforms.”

Vinyl nodded in agreement. “Now that you mention it, you remember that time we needed to shrink down that submarine and go into Serpent Superior’s bloodstream? I was talking to Xamot and Tomax when we got stuck in that patch of cholesterol, and-”

Destroyer cleared his throat loudly, interrupting Vinyl’s recollection. “Unfortunately,” he said, his Scoltish accent as strong as ever, “at some point in the past few weeks, a lot of my assets – with their total worth being several million bits -were destroyed by an unknown party.” Vinyl raised a hoof and began to open her mouth to explain what had happened, before thinking the better of it, and lowering the hoof.

“As COBRA largely makes money from Destroyer’s weapons,” said Tomax, “this has led to a large loss in funds, and –”

“-it is possible that COBRA may not be able to support itself financially anymore,” finished Xamot.

“Wait, a third party we acquire our weapons from is also responsible for our funding?” Octavia questioned, frowning. “How does that make sense?”

Xamot and Tomax smiled mysteriously. At one point in the past, it would have weirded Octavia and Vinyl out, but by now they were used to the twins intentionally acting strange to make other ponies think that they were creepier than they actually were. “Coincidentally, owing to the need to discuss financing and our profits, we brought –”

“- these charts, explaining Destroyer’s shell companies and stock-”

“Whoah, whoah, whoah, no need to get into all that, boys,” said Vinyl, levitating the graphs and complicated-looking pieces of paper back into the twins’ briefcase.

“Yes, how about we start this meeting at the beginning?” said Serpent Superior, simultaneously sliding a salver of biscuits and tea down the table. “We’re here to discuss COBRA’s financial situation, not sit around slacking off and talking about trivial pursuits.”

“Octavia and I are!” Vinyl said eagerly, raising a hoof. “Do we get to stay?”

Through the eye holes in his mask, everypony in the room could see Serpent Superior roll his eyes. “I suppose that the two of you are already here, and you, at the very least, Vinyl, seem eager to contribute. Octavia? What’s your opinion?” He wasn’t exactly keeping the contempt out of his voice as he spoke.

“Do we sell the weapons we acquire from Destroyer at a higher price than we buy them from him?” was Octavia’s answer. “Because that explains why we’re reliant on him, but then why wouldn’t he sell weapons to our buyers and keep all of the profits for himself?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” muttered Serpent Superior. Standing up, he said, “Stallions!”

“And mares!” called out Vinyl.

“We are gathered here today to discuss the future of COBRA!” Serpent Superior continued, ignoring Vinyl Scratch. “We are a noble organisation with only the best of intentions, even if the average pony on the street wouldn’t know it! We seek the truth, and aim to demonstrate our power to those who would think that they know better!

“However! As you should all know, our funds are running dangerously low, and we need another source of income quickly! Who here will dare to stand up and allow COBRA to survive? Who here will continue to help this nation of ours? Stallions – and mares – the time for planning is now!” Vinyl immediately thrust a hoof into the air. “Yes, Vinyl?” asked Serpent Superior.

“Horror movie!” said Vinyl excitedly.

“What?”

“We make a horror movie!” Vinyl explained. “Ponies love horror movies, and we make one, and, and, and then they come and see it, and we make all of the bits at the box office!”

Destroyer silently rotated his chair to look at Serpent Superior. His metal mask may have hidden his facial expression, but his body language clearly spelled out the question he was asking. Serpent Superior gave what could have only been an apologetic shrug as Vinyl continued.

“-and I can do special effects and the soundtrack, and Octavia can do stunts, and we’ve got all of the COBRA Troopers for extras!” concluded Vinyl, grinning broadly. “You’re cool with being a stunt double, right, Octavia?” she asked her marefriend as an aside.

“Do you think that Destroyer buying stocks was what they meant when they said that they make money from him?” Octavia asked. “I suppose that somewhat gets them bits, but it doesn’t exactly work that way…”

“So, what do you think, Serpent Superior?” Vinyl asked their leader. “Better than your plan, or worse?”

“…Vinyl, what do you and Octavia think we do here again?” Serpent Superior questioned. “Something to do with…pest extermination, was it?”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Please, Serpent Superior, we’re not that dumb,” she said.

“Anymore,” clarified Vinyl.

“It’s quite clear what this company does,” continued Octavia, “and whilst we were quite surprised to discover it, and did question how moral it was to keep working for you, we’re nevertheless happy to stay at COBRA for as long as you’ll have us!”

From what little could be seen of Serpent Superior’s face through his mask, he looked shocked, which slowly changed to pleased. “You mean…you two know? And agree that-”

“That making propaganda films in which we’re actors playing the bad guys is a good way to counteract terrorism?” finished Vinyl. “Of course!”

“I love all of the improv you let us do,” added Octavia warmly.

This time, it was Xamot and Tomax who turned to Serpent Superior, slowly. “Is there something you are not telling us?” Xamot asked.

Serpent Superior raised his front hooves slowly, in an apologetic gesture. “Look, Vinyl, Octavia, I’m not sure whether you realise this, but-”

“Oh, come on,” interrupted Octavia, “why else would we use such weak crossbows?” She picked one up from the ground and shot Vinyl in the head with it, point-blank range. “See?”

“The only harm done is to my already dwindling intellect!” said Vinyl happily.

Serpent Superior slammed a hoof into his face, sighing subtly as he did so. “Well…okay then, sure, if that’s what you think,” he said slowly. “I’ll put Vinyl’s plan of ‘make a horror movie’ onto the list,” he added, quickly scribbling something onto a piece of paper. “Does anypony else have an idea?”

“A pyramid scheme?” suggested Tomax.

Xamot nodded. “If we can find enough susceptible enough ponies, it could be quite lucrative.”

“I don’t understand,” Vinyl said. “How does building a pyramid make us money?”

Tomax and Xamot shook their heads in unison. It looked ridiculous. “I don’t think you understand –” began Tomax.

“- Vinyl Scratch,” continued Xamot. “A pyramid scheme involves –”

“- the recruitment of ponies to an organisation, telling them that- what?” asked Destroyer. Xamot and Tomax were glaring at him. “You guys are allowed to do the creepy twins-finishing-each-others’-sentences thing, but I can’t join in?”

“Essentially, a pyramid scheme involves getting ponies to make a payment upon joining your organisation, and telling them that they will make a proportion of money for each member they recruit,” explained Tomax, ignoring Destroyer. “Of course, they are also giving a proportion of their earnings to the ponies in the levels above them, thus giving the pony at the top of the pyramid a vast fortune for essentially doing nothing.”

“Wow!” said Octavia. “This sounds brilliant! So you’re telling me that all I need to do is get payments from ponies I recruit, give most of my earnings to you two, and I’ll make a profit? Sign me up!”

“But Octavia, we’d be recruiting –” began Serpent Superior.

“Don’t stop her, Serpent Superior!” interrupted Xamot. “If she starts working at the second tier of the scheme, we’re already making a profit!”

“Tell me, Octavia, what is your primary source of income?” asked Tomax.

“My weekly payments from COBRA, of course,” said Octavia.

“…Ah,” said Tomax. “I think I see the flaw in recruiting COBRA Troopers into the pyramid scheme.”

“Speaking of, when does the money start being used to build our pyramid?” asked Vinyl. “Because I was thinking, what if instead of making a pyramid, we construct a gigantic statue, with the head of a unicorn and the body of a –”

“Guys, guys, I think we’re getting off-topic here,” said Serpent Superior stridently. “I’ve written down pyramid scheme on the list of ideas…Destroyer? Any suggestions?”

The arms dealer shrugged. “We sell some weapons to the other side? To CHIELD?”

“What, and get the satisfaction of knowing that they are very mildly wounding us with our own weapons?” snorted Serpent Superior. “I’d rather have to terminate COBRA as an organisation.”

“Well then, let’s see you think of a better idea,” countered Destroyer. Serpent Superior was silent or a few moments. “…Well?” Destroyer asked. “Not even a counterargument?”

“I’m smirking below this hood,” explained Serpent Superior. He reached below the desk and pulled out a large envelope. Passing it to Xamot, who was to his left, he said, “All of you, take a look inside this. This is my plan.”

“Well then why didn’t you tell us your plan at the start of the meeting?” asked Vinyl. “You could have saved a whole lot of time!”

“…You speak out of line to your commander again and I’ll demote you back to a Meatshield,” said Serpent Superior bitterly. As he spoke, the envelope, which had passed to Tomax’s hooves, was then passed to Vinyl and Octavia, on the other side of the table.

Pulling out the envelope, the first thing Octavia saw was a photograph of a large building, with a sign identifying it as Or Die Trying. In addition to the sign, there were a whole lot of lights around the building, as well as several ponies dressed in expensive suits going in and out of the building.

“Do you know what this is?” asked Serpent Superior, seeing Octavia study it.

Octavia hesitated, checking to make sure before answering. “It’s…a photograph!”

“We win!” said Vinyl. “I like this game!” She pointed a hoof to a fan hanging from the ceiling. “Your turn, Serpent Superior. Do you know what that is?”

“…I was asking whether you knew what the first photograph was of,” said Serpent Superior bluntly.

“Oh!” exclaimed Octavia. “It looks like a swimming pool to me!”

“Really?” asked Vinyl, frowning. “I thought that it looked more like a bowling alley, myself.”

“It is a casino,” said Tomax irritably.

“Oh, I get it!” said Octavia. “We go to the casino, get lucky at the slot machines, and we finance COBRA with that!”

“Think…a little bigger,” said Serpent Superior.

“We get jobs at the casino because they’re hiring, and finance COBRA through that?” Octavia asked, frowning. “I think I see a flaw with this plan.”

Vinyl patted her marefriend on the shoulder. “No, Octavia – he’s saying that we start counting cards to get the money.” She nodded at Serpent Superior approvingly. “It’s a good thing that you asked Octavia and I to join in on this – I learned all about counting cards back when I worked at a casino.”

“You used to work at a casino?” asked Octavia, surprised.

“Yeah!” said Vinyl. “I always had to clean up after the gamblers finished playing Fifty-Two Pickup, so I learned how to count cards doing that. Because, y’know, if we didn’t pick up all fifty-two we’d get told off.”

Octavia frowned. “Are you sure that it was a casino you were working at?” Vinyl shrugged in response.

“You two are both wrong,” said Serpent Superior. “Also idiots. Now, have a look at the next photograph in the envelope.”

Octavia pulled it out. It showed a young male unicorn with a blue mane and white coat. The photo was of him talking to some other ponies in tuxedos, but it was a bit small and blurry – evidently, the photo had been taken from a distance.

“That is Royale,” explained Serpent Superior. “He is the pony who owns the casino, in addition to several large corporations, each of which earn him millions of bits per month. He’s young, successful, and intelligent. He bought the casino - which, as I’m sure you guessed from the photo, is named Or Die Trying – several months back so as to further his empire.

“Between Royale’s business-savvy skills and a good public relations campaign, Or Die Trying has experienced an excellent upswing in visitors in the past few months. It is currently the most popular casino in Manehattan, and as such, it is estimated that its vault contains over one hundred and sixty million bits.

“To you, my elite COBRA associates – and Vinyl and Octavia – I make the following proposition,” continued Serpent Superior. “I propose that we work together to rob the casino, and Royale by extension. We steal the money from the casino, and use it to further fuel COBRA’s activities!” There were a few moments of silence, with all ponies nodding in agreement and looking impressed. Then, the silence was broken:

“In the plot of the next propaganda film, right?” Octavia asked. “Like a heist movie?”

“…Sure, let’s go with that,” agreed Serpent Superior.

Comments

[Ratsenkio]

And here we go again!

[Bynoan]

[YxB]

YUS!

[Kiwi Brony]

Serpent Superior, simultaneously sliding a salver of biscuits and tea down the table.

COBRA now with tea and bikkies

[ShadowLDrago]

“We make a horror movie!” Vinyl explained. “Ponies love horror movies, and we make one, and, and, and then they come and see it, and we make all of the bits at the box office!”

Eh, never liked horror.

“Oh, come on,” interrupted Octavia, “why else would we use such weak crossbows?” She picked one up from the ground and shot Vinyl in the head with it, point-blank range. “See?”

“The only harm done is to my already dwindling intellect!” said Vinyl happily.

I love how self aware of her own silliness she is.

“What, and get the satisfaction of knowing that they are very mildly wounding us with our own weapons?” snorted Serpent Superior. “I’d rather have to terminate COBRA as an organisation.”

If you have a better idea...

“In the plot of the next propaganda film, right?” Octavia asked. “Like a heist movie?”

At this point I think they KNOW what COBRA really is and are doing this to troll Serpent Superior.

[Windfall]

YAY!

[That_Delusional_Pegasus]

"Come to the COBRA side!"

"NEVER!"

"We do heists and make horror movies out of them!"

"If you put it that way, IM IN!"