Traitor!

by Helblade Master

Traitor!

Author's Note:

Traitor is born from a meme, born from the new Star Wars movie. This is no spoiler story. In fact it's just a story about a loyal trooper with mad spinning skills, doing good. He's seen in the trailer, so he's nothing new.

Traitor, is all he ever yelled to the world. To people who lied to others, to people who cheated on their friends. Whoever was never loyal enough was a traitor. His name, is trooper TR-8R. And he's ready to announce to the world, every traitor he can find.

TR-8R had been walking idly by in his normal Stormtrooper garments when his traitor sense began to tingle. Someone was being a traitor, and he needed to stop them. He lept into action, pulling out his Z6 Riot Baton and spinning it around. With a great bound and the shout of the word "traitor", he was off.

"Oh Soarin you're so handsome," Spitfire whispered into Soarin's ear," how bout we go back to my place and have some fun."

Spitfire batted her orange eyes and Soarin smiled, it wouldn't hurt his wife if she never knew. Spitfire was definitely sexier than her anyways. TR-8R lept across the yard and smacked his Z6 Riot Baton against Soarin's stomach, sending the assistant coach flying. His Wondercolts uniform turned red with blood and Soarin began to croak.

"Oh my god," Spitfire shouted.

Before she could let anything else out TR-8R smacked her in the stomach as well. Soarin's deep blue hair was now blood red and his green eyes were bloodshot. His pale blue skin became white and the croaking became gaging as barf began to gurgle out his mouth. Spitfire's eyes rolled back and her body began to convulse. Her eyes turned bloodshot red, and her flowing orange and red hair fizzled. With every convulsion Spitfire seemed to throw up more and more. Her orange skin turned pale and the barf stuck to everything.

"Traitor," TR-8R shouted as he lept back down the side walk, leaving the two bodies to perish on the school lawn.

Another set of traitors was defeated, and with them taken care of loyalty could flourish. He returned his Z6 Riot Baton back in its place, with some more spins. Now that they were out of the way he could go back to enjoying the nice spring day. The birds were chirping, and the wind was a slight breeze. A traitor was about to eat someone's imported nuts without permission. Wait that's traitorous. With the speed of a Tie Fighter, TR-8R was off towards Mane Street. As he ran he readied his Z6 Riot Baton. That traitor was going to pay. With a leap, he made it through the second story window and rolled in.

In the room was a Lyra Heartstrings wearing her pink blouse, yellow socks, and red shoes. Her hair was the usual pale green with white highlights, and her eyes were a bright orange. A flower stuck out from her hair and in her hands were two handfuls of imported nuts. With a strike at the speed of a blaster shot TR-8R struck Lyra's hands. The sound of bare skin meeting electrified plastic was like using sand paper. Her hands burnt in a few places, and some areas began to bleed.

"Ow," Lyra shouted in agony," why would you do that?"

"Lyra what's wrong," Bon Bon shouted from the kitchen.

"This dude jumped through our window and smacked my hands with an electrified baton."

"I was only doing my duty ma'ams, you may thank me later," TR-8R said," oh and, traitor!"

Bon Bon walked out, hands on her hips," now wait just a second there."

Her purple and pink hair was frizzled up, her deep blue eyes squinted at TR-8R, and for the first time ever. He didn't think he'd be able to sick spin his way out of this.

"Ma'am I did my job. I have no reason to be here any more. There are more traitors to deal with"

"Oh yeah? Then why hit my girlfriend?"

"She was stealing your imported nuts, and so as punishment I punished her."

"Lyra, is that true?"

As she chewed on a mouth full of imported nuts Lyra nodded her head in agreement.

"That's okay, I was going to share them with you anyway. As for you, apologize to Lyra before I take your baton and break it over your helmet."

"I'm sorry ma'am, that I smacked your fingers, and burnt them."

"Good. Now get out of here before I call the cops."

With his job done, once again, and an unnecessary apology given out, TR-8R spun his baton around and replaced it in its holster. Then he lept out the window and began his patrol for more traitors, since he, obviously, wouldn't be able to enjoy the day.

A few blocks down he noticed someone from the corner of his eye. Their face resembled that of a billboard. Sprawled across it was the word BuzzFeed. In their hands was a post named, "People Are Obsessed with this Random Star Wars the Force Awakens Character".

"Hello," the thing said," I am Buzzfeed. And I will be your destruction."

With the foul swoop of its post, Buzzfeed struck TR-8R across the chest. The post glimmered as TR-8R's body began to fizzle.

"Welcome to the Normie memes TR-8R," Buzzfeed laughed," may everyone weep as you die for their spins."

TR-8R tried to strike out against Buzzfeed, but the force of the post was to strong. Only seconds later, there was no more TR-8R. Only Buzzfeed laughing maniacally at its newest addition to its collection.

R.I.P
Loyal Trooper of Sick Spins
A.K.A. TR-8R

December 17th, 2015- December 29th, 2015.

May you remember how he died for your spins.

Comments

[Anon ymous]

THIS IS A GOOD FIC, HUMAN!

[BAND1T]

I LOVE THIS ALREADY!

[ShadowFall]

This fic spun me right round baby.

[Twilight Sparklez]

I cried :(

[Devildogg20]

I lol'd but his name is nines really

[psvitafanboy222]

How irony that his name is TR-8R. This is hilarious! But... shouldn't there be a comedy tag?