This is a story of a lost Sangheili warrior in Equestria. This is a tale of survival and wonder as he tries to find who or what he is. That would be said and done by now if it weren't for the locals trying to hunt the him down and be hung on a rack.
7271634 Something like that, but not totally accurate. More of a deep rumbling growl and add his hellbent desire for revenge. I think adding a demonic tone and making it more animal like should sum his voice in this chapter. I mean, Sangheili are all about honor. But these griffins happened to set ever nerve of anger in him. Them being thieves, slavers, and killing his first love can set off a lot of dry anger to that of a burning star. At least that is what happen with him. By the way, more explaining on what happen will be brought up in the next chapter.
The story definitely has merit and I can see the depth being written in. The grammar is rough and could use a pre-reader to help you; put out some feelers on the site, I'm sure someone would be happy to help you smooth out some of the rough edges. Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
7380723 I'm back again, and I'm fine with slow updates as long as the story is well planned and not rushed (geddit? Cuz when you go slow you're not rushi- Oh, forget it...)
7271160 YAY MOTHAFA
"The griffin body was a burr and"
Blur?
Also.... FIRST COMMENT YEYAHHHHH!!!!
7271231 fixed it. Anymore?
7271255 im not sure, thats the only one that made my vision go fuzzy... *ba dum tish* Siriusly tho, I think that's it but then again, I'm no editor
Yep......that gryphon is F~U~C~K~E~D
Is it normal that every time Nova speaks, I imagine him using the 'Batman voice'?
7270438 NO MY
LOGICAWSOMENESS SHALL BE SEEN BY THE WORLD!7270426 gmod
it was never mentioned that she died...............
7272742 Explained in next chapter.
7271594 Indeed, they were brutally slaughtered enough to be made into a fine chunky stew. I wonder...
Would that stew taste like chicken?
7271634 Something like that, but not totally accurate. More of a deep rumbling growl and add his hellbent desire for revenge. I think adding a demonic tone and making it more animal like should sum his voice in this chapter. I mean, Sangheili are all about honor. But these griffins happened to set ever nerve of anger in him. Them being thieves, slavers, and killing his first love can set off a lot of dry anger to that of a burning star. At least that is what happen with him. By the way, more explaining on what happen will be brought up in the next chapter.
7271441 True, but thanks for pointing it out.
7273328 hmmm.......but wouldn't that be an insult to chickens if I said yes?
The story definitely has merit and I can see the depth being written in. The grammar is rough and could use a pre-reader to help you; put out some feelers on the site, I'm sure someone would be happy to help you smooth out some of the rough edges. Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
7273372 no problemo
7271772 ffffuck, I play minecraft on 360 cuz its fun
7275014 Thank you. Know anyone that would be willing to help?
7275053 i think they stoped making xbox 360s? i think i dont know
7329213.... Ummmm, no?
This is so good! Looking forward to part two!
7379405 Thanks, I've been really occupied with life. Sorry for the lack of updates.
7380723 That's fine, life is more than pones.
7380723 I'm back again, and I'm fine with slow updates as long as the story is well planned and not rushed (geddit? Cuz when you go slow you're not rushi- Oh, forget it...)
7435907 I understand, I'm working on it right now. Look here for why I haven't updated.
7442111 that explains it... I will wait until you can update, I'm a patient person
7444607 Thanks for understanding.
7444857 not a problem
Statement: NEVER MAKE A SANGHILEI ESPECIALLY A VADAM MAD