A Long Journey Ahead

by Black Hailstorm

Ch.1

Looking Back

The rustling of train tracks was the only thing he could hear, as the train moved in silence towards Baltimare.

The only thing he had in his sights was the land that passed by as the train proceeded through a tunnel temporarily clouding his vision. Across from him sat a salespony. The dark green stallion stared at the baby dragon in silence, only to look away out the very same window as the young drake had whenever the dragon had glanced in his direction.

Once the baby dragon looked away from the stallion, the salespony would take a quick glance at the drake’s belongings.

The only thing he had was a backpack no doubt filled with whatever memories that were precious to this young dragon. Just as precious as the ponies or other friends he had undoubtedly left behind to take up this long journey far away from home.

The salespony said nothing to the young drake who continued to stare off into the space out the window. Even as they passed through yet another tunnel, that clearly obscured his vision the dragon never once let his gaze fall from the vastness that was the land they passed.

Shifting in his seat the salespony cleared his throat a bit, unintentionally gaining the drake’s glance at him as he shifted once more in his seat uncomfortably.

Loosening the knot on his tie, suddenly feeling quite constricted the pony simply stared out the same window in silence. The two passengers that sat across from each other temporarily ignoring the various coughs, clearances of the larynx and sneezes along with shifting of position that dispersed around the entirety of the train.

The dark green salespony cast another glance at the young drake. But if Spike had noticed he didn’t show any sign of doing so, for he had other thoughts on his mind at the moment.

Thoughts of his home.

Was...was it really worth it? the dragon thought to himself with a dull expression on his face as he looked off into ember colored sky, seeing the sun slowly begin to set off in the far off distance behind a hill.

Did I make the right choice? Spike asked himself, subconsciously clenching his fist.

Of course you did, a part of him said. You wanted to find what made you...special, what you could do to grow.

Yeah but was it worth all...all of this? he asked not even bothering to look behind him. Obviously knowing what’d he would see. Just a bunch of travelers off doing their own things. Some of them knowing exactly where they were going. Others lost and searching for a way, a meaning, a path to improve themselves.

Just as he was.

A sigh escaped his lips. “I don’t know” Spike said aloud, unaware of the salespony that looked at him once more. “It just doesn’t feel” he placed a claw on his chest. “It just feels like something’s missing.”

It’s only natural he looked up to see his reflection speaking once more. At the same time he looked up to see the fiery sky above.

After all, you left your friends, your loved ones, your sister, behind. It’ll take some time to get used to it but don’t you also feel-

“Good” he finished for his reflection, a small smile gracing his lips. He nodded, though slowly, his right claw still placed over his chest. “Yeah, yeah I do feel kinda good.”

The salespony watching Spike talk with himself simply watched in silence. For he knew just as well what the young dragon was going through. Most likely right now, the drake was asking himself if he’d made the right choice. Leaving it all behind. Starting anew only to come back better, stronger, feeling more confident or important about oneself than they could have ever felt if they had remained in their home.

The earth pony smiled sadly, watching how Spike continued to look on outside with a mixture of what could only be seen as joy, sadness, happiness, yet grief. It was a painful thing to endure. Especially for one at such a young age.

The salespony decided to wait, let the drake finish his thoughts before he would ask him what he was doing out here, what he planned to do and if he had any idea where he was going.

He smiled weakly as he caught the dragon lift an outstretched claw that gently touched the window, as if trying to grasp something that wasn’t there or that was too far out of reach.

Spike’s ears drooped. “Right now Twilight might be reading a bunch of books to try and figure out how to track me. Or maybe just re-reading that letter” he said with a slight smile.

“And Pinkie” his light smile faded. “Who knows how bad I’ve made her feel. Fluttershy...I can’t even bring myself to think about. That poor kind angel of a mare” he said to no one in particular, the salespony however listened to every word carefully.

“Rainbow Dash probably won’t be coming out of her cloud for the next week” the drake said his voice now beginning to crack with emotion. “Applejack” a sarcastic chuckle left Spike’s lips. “She’ll be crying for days. But she’ll most likely be doing it” he raised both hands up as he stared out onto the passing valleys, before he curved his fingers and made air quotes. “On the inside.”

Spike let both his hands drop to his side. A few seconds of silence passing throughout the entire train, or at the very least in the train car they were currently in.

Slowly the railroad vehicle came to a stop. Dropping a few ponies and one or two griffons off as well. Spike and the salespony however payed them no mind. This stop was Vanhoover. Spike was heading to Baltimare.

So the two sat in silence, that is till the train moved and eventually picked up the pace pulling out of the station dock, as the city of Vanhoover faded from the drake and stallion’s view.

Spike went back to looking out the window, so did his silent earth pony partner.

“Then there’s Rarity” he said after a few seconds of moment filled silence. The mirth in his voice returning.

“The mare I-” Spike bit his lip, his heart feeling like it was ready to leap out of his chest, as he could only think of how hurt the mare he loved, would feel over his letter to them. Despite her never knowing how much she meant to him.

A hoof was placed on Spike’s shoulder. It was warm, reassuring, and most of all carried the thing Spike needed the most right now.

Empathy.

He looked up and stared into the aquamarine eyes of the earth pony who had moved to now offer some comfort. Spike smiled, weakly at him before nodding he was alright. The stallion backed up in his seat, offering a kind smile as well before the two continued to look out in silence.

Tears had begun to sting Spike’s eyes, but with a great force he willed them away.

I can’t cry now, he told himself. The journey’s just begun and if I cry now. Well then, I can’t say I’m ready to start improving now can I?

Lifting his arm up and about to wipe his nose the dragon was tapped on the shoulder. He looked over to the pony sitting across from him who silently offered him a tissue. Spike gratefully took it after a moment’s hesitation and a grateful nod to the stranger.

Wiping his nose the stallion watched the drake gain a small smile as the tears that had emerged in the baby dragon’s eyes began to fade as if they were never meant to be.

Swallowing hard the salespony gathered what little confidence he had and opened his mouth to speak to the young dragon he felt could use a bit more than a pat and a tissue.

“If you don’t mind me asking” the stallion began only to hesitate a bit when the dragon looked at him having finished wiping his nose. “W-What’s got you looking so chipper again?” he stuttered.

Spike looked up at the pony he could somewhat consider his comrade. Or rather someone he could tell knew what he was currently going. “Oh, nothing I just remembered how my sister, Twilight- you’ve heard of her right? Princess of Friendship?”

The stallion shook his head. “Sorry can’t say I have. I’ve been on the road selling from city to city ever since I left home to find out what my cutie mark was. Never really stayed in place long enough to know much till I had to leave and find another place to improve my stockings. ”

“Cutie mark huh?” Spike said. Another thought occurring to him. The CMC, he smiled a bit now recalling how they weren’t the same CMC he had known them to be since the three friends gained their own cutie marks. What a joyous day that had been.

“How old were you when you left your home?” Spike asked. Only realizing he may have said something that was possibly something the stallion may have not wanted to talk about.

“I- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” another pat on the shoulder made Spike look up at the stallion who simply smiled at him.

“It’s alright” the salespony said. “I was, definitely older than you young dragon” he said to Spike with a mischievous grin. “Possibly around the age of 18 or 20 when I left.”

Spike stared in clear surprise. He’d been a blank flank for that long?

The salespony noticed this and merely smiled once more when Spike realized that he may have been being rude. “It is alright. I am fine with it. After all it took me travelling all of Equestria before I finally found something I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing.”

“The rest of my life doing...” Spike repeated, his thoughts travelling back to the errands he had run for Twilight. And not just for her but for the others as well.

The young drake felt a small pressure build in his chest, but he forced it down.

Once again Spike found himself questioning his decision. Why did I do this?

And once more he found himself only to be answered by the irrefutable truth.

Because Spike. You know you want to.

“But” he stared at the ground, conflicted by his inner doubts and desires. The dragon knew he wanted to be more than just Twilight’s number one assistant, more than just get smacked around by fate, karma or whatever had him held so closely to Twilight and the others.

He wanted to prove it not just to the friends he had left behind, but he needed to prove it to himself. He wants to prove it to himself. That’s why I took this journey Spike thought.

Taking in a deep breath he exhaled preparing to ask the stallion the question he had hesitated on.

“But when you left, did you ever feel like- like you made a mistake? That you hurt the ponies you cared about the most and felt that if you ended up” he gulped. “Failing that you would not only have let yourself down, but hurt everypony you cared about for nothing?”

The stallion who had held an encouraging smile now began to frown at Spike’s question, a look of genuine surprise in his eyes.

This child is too young to have such thoughts he almost said aloud. Looking around the slightly smaller crowd of other travellers the salespony glanced back a Spike who waited expectantly for an answer of sorts, not caring if it was good or bad.

“Yes” the dark green pony replied. “Yes I have” he said. “There were times I nearly gave up on my journey to find a cutie mark. There were times I’d even thought that this ‘mission’ I’d set for myself, was nothing but a lie. A lie I was hoping to use as a stepping stone to more lies to keep me going towards something I could never hope to achieve.

“But then” he smiled recalling the wonderful memory. “I got a letter from the mare of my dreams. My wife or rather at that time my marefriend” he said warmly. “During my travels I left her and my family and all my friends behind. Never left a letter, never said a word, not a hint or even a clue as to where I went or where I was going” he said taking note of the drake’s surprised yet understanding reaction.

It was then that Spike actually began to wonder if he should have written the letter in the first place, only to shake the thought out of his head when he considered how everypony in Canterlot, the Crystal Empire and Ponyville would turn the nation upside down looking for him.

That made him and the salespony chuckle heartily when he told the dark green stallion this.

“Well. As I was saying” the salespony said getting back to where he left off. “I didn’t leave a clue to my whereabouts. And about two months into my journey I ended up finding a letter in my temporary apartment at Whinniopolis.

“Around this time things... well things weren’t going to well for me and I rarely got any mail. So you can only imagine my surprise to see a letter was addressed to me for once and not mistakenly put in at the wrong mailbox. So I opened it” the salespony said recalling the memory with a smile.

Spike’s eyes widened in anticipation but the stallion never continued merely grinning widely at the recollection of the memory. A faint rosy touch to his cheeks.

“Well what did it say?” Spike asked when he’d finally had enough.

“It was from my sweet Honeycomb” the salespony said. “She told me that...well here” he said reaching into his saddlebag. “Take a look for yourself.”

Spike took the letter carefully and read it.

“Dear Ardent Merchant (Merch),

Merch, I’ve never been more angry with you in my entire life. In fact if you were here right now I’d spread my wings take you into the air and drop you fifty feet off the ground and watch you plummet to your doom, kicking and screaming only to save your life and do it over and over and over again till the very thought of going outside scarred you for life. Let alone the thought of even looking up at the sky!”

Spike outwardly cringed at the brutality of this letter. He was sure his friends would be mad at him but not to the point of wanting to permanently scar him for an eternity. He looked up at the stallion with a questioning brow on whether or not he should keep reading.

Merch merely nodded his reassurance. Spike continued.

“Despite the fact that I want to rip out your soul and throw you into the dirtiest Swamps of the Everfree, I....I miss you. Oh who am I kidding, I can’t stop thinking about you since you’ve left. The first week you were gone everyone went into a frenzy. Searches were conducted, authorities were called only for us to find out from your neighbor after a fortnight of searching and upon his return from Yak Yakistan that you had left the town to find what your true calling in life was.

Honestly I can’t tell you whether I’m more upset and fly over to that apartment right now and kick your flank. Or fly over to that apartment right now and kiss you, wrap you in my wings and tell you everything will be alright, despite you knowing that it’s not.

What I’m trying to say is. I won’t come find you. I know you’ve been going through a lot, considering how important it is for a pony to find a cutie mark nowadays I get why you’re so concerned. Since you were a colt and before we even began our relationship I watched you encourage others to never give up in their endeavours in what they wanted to do. Even though you never really knew what you wanted to do or how to even big how to do it, knowing how greatly it bothered you. And if you think travelling all across the globe is the only way for you to find your cutie mark then...I wish you the best of luck my Merchant. But, when you come back- because I know you will- promise me-- NO, SWEAR to me that you will never and I repeat never give me a heart attack like that ever again!

Your family, all your friends and I support your wishes. And I’m not sure how long you’re going to be staying at this apartment, nor do I plan on telling you how I figured out how I found your address (for fears that you wouldn’t understand a girl to have), but for the love of our diarchy. Just make sure you keep in touch every now and then, Alright?

Your loving marefriend,

Honeycomb."

P.S. You have three days to respond to this letter before I do come there and do as I threatened, no joke. I Know. Where. You. Live.

P.P.S. Stay safe love.”

Spike stared at the letter in silence for a few seconds. Probably more shocked by the levels of ferocity a mare could put in words and how clear and serious she had been in every single sentence.

It made him feel happy for this new companion of his yet at the same time, extremely terrified of his wife. There was one question that bugged him though, one he just had to ask.

“So Ardent Merchant-”

“Merch is fine” the dark green earth pony said with a smile. Spike nodded, handing him back the letter.

“When did you get this letter again?”

The smile the pony held suddenly seemed to disappear almost instantly. And Spike was pretty sure he knew why.

Merch rubbed the back of his head with a weak smile before replying. “I saw it on the third day I was supposed to have responded by...I never rushed to write a letter so quickly in my entire life” the stallion said with a laugh. Spike joined in the two laughing at the memory, that is till the stallion said “And I never had a heart attack when she came that very night.”

The merriment almost died instantly, Spike smiling sheepishly as he patted the earth pony’s haunch gently for reassurance. “I’m sorry” the young drake said.

Merch nodded gratefully. “Luckily the mailstallion, flew by that night to state that my letter wasn’t able to reach her. Bless that pegasus, he saved my life.”

An awkward silence filled the two’s small seat space as they stared at each other.

Then the two burst out laughing.

---

It took a few minutes and the shaking of the train car before the two were able to calm themselves once more. In all honesty it felt good to Spike, laughing once more. He didn’t think he’d be able to do that till he’d gotten very deep into his journey but it turns out he’d been proven wrong.

Something he was very glad for.

As the two wiped the tears from their eyes Merch smiled and Spike and waited for the last of the young drake’s chuckles to cease before continuing, with his point.

“The point is kid. I know what it’s like. To feel lost, helpless almost at times. And while you may feel like there are things you can’t do to help those you care about despite you feeling you can, never forget that your friends, those you consider family. Those that are true family, may get mad at you for what you did. May not even talk to you for a while because of your actions. But never forget champ, they’ll always be there for you when you need it the most.”

Spike smiled, feeling the heavy pressure in his chest almost completely evaporate but not fully. The heavy weight of pressure he’d placed on himself for making this decision was now slowly fading thanks to this stallion’s kind words.

It was nice having someone who understood what he was going through to talk to like this. It felt pretty good.

Then Spike realized something. “Wait” he said slowly. “If you said you were travelling to find your cutie mark. Now that you’ve found it how come you’re still travelling?”

Merch smiled, understanding the young dragon’s question. Leaning forward a bit and motioning the baby dragon to come closer he spoke in a low tone so that other passengers wouldn’t hear.

“I may have found my cutie mark, but that doesn’t mean I’m fully done improving myself am I?” he said with a smile at the dragon. Spike took a second, understanding what the pony was trying to say before nodding with smile of his own.

I see Spike said leaning back in his seat and staring out the window once more. Finding what I want to do isn’t the only thing. If I want to get stronger, better I need to keep improving, and not just stop once I’ve found what I want.

That’s right Spike’s reflection said with a smile from the window. Like the saying goes, “there’s always room for improvement.”

Warmth filled Spike’s body. He looked up at Merch who smiled back at him. For a second Spike compared the older earth pony to his friends the former founders of the CMC branch. And for a second Spike wondered if the three had met this stallion and learnt his story like he had, would they have been devastated...or would they have felt as much peace he currently felt now?

Spike shook his head, now was not the time for such thoughts. The train was beginning to slow at it’s next destination, Batlimare was just a couple miles away from this stop.

He looked out the window once more, thinking about the others.

He was almost there. Ready to begin taking the first step, the first step to a long journey ahead.

---

Spike had fallen asleep.

His thoughts were focused on the wise words of his ally that sat across from him, having fallen asleep shortly after they left their second stop. The young drake hadn’t slept much at all since the train ride and since his stop would be there in a few hours according to the conductor he’d decided to get as much rest as possible.

As Spike dreamt, his thoughts recalled the words of Merch. “Those that are true family, may get mad at you for what you did. May not even talk to you for a while because of your actions. But never forget champ, they’ll always be there for you when you need it the most.”

He’s right you know? Spike stood, standing in front of his reflection. They’ll always be there for you when you need them.

“That’s true” Spike said with a small smile.

Is there something else that bugs you?

He averted his gaze simply shaking his head. Spike, you can’t lie to yourself. I’m you remember? his reflection said with crossed arms.

Spike rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah I know. It’s just something came to mind.”

Which is?

“Well, Merch said that search parties were made for him. And granted everypony didn’t know where he went at the time till his neighbor informed them. However, they didn’t stop looking for him his wife proved that in her letter” Spike said the concern now starting to be clear in his voice as he nervously tapped his fingers together.

Your point is?

“What if the others don’t take my letter to easily and accept it? Fluttershy and Rarity maybe. Applejack it’s possible. But Twilight and Rainbow Dash?” he said with a hint of his voice cracking.

Spike’s reflection now reflected his worried look. Oh...I see your point. Both soon brightened up pushing the thoughts away.

I’m sure they’ll understand. They’re the elements of Harmony for crying out loud!

“Yeah!” Spike nodded with a smile. “They’ll understand. They are my friends after all.”

The train shook, waking Spike from his sleep. Rubbing his eyes and looking around the dragon saw Merch staring at him with a smile. Spike looked out the window only to see Luna’s moon up high in the sky, stars twinkling ever so brightly in the night.

“You sleep well?” Merch asked.

Spike nodded, but Merch seemed to catch something in the dragon’s expression that told him that wasn’t the entire truth.

“Something wrong?” the dark green pony asked.

Spike sighed, feeling somewhat defeated. “Yes” he said.

A shifting of position before he looked up to see the earth pony sitting straight up told him that Merch was ready to offer some advice. “Shoot” the salespony said encouragingly.

Reluctantly the drake did as such, “I was wondering, when your friends and family found out what your real purpose for leaving was and that you were alright. Did they ever try to visit you or I don’t know bring you back or something?” he asked twiddling his fingers, and nervously looking up.

Merch raised a hoof up to his chin, in thought a slight frown touching his lips as he realized where this conversation was going.

“Well, yes there were one or two cases where I happened to accidentally come across a relative of mine or a close friend. But, that was only in a few rare cases.”

Despite the fact those were rare, this did nothing to quell Spike’s concerns. “What did they do when they saw you?”

“Well obviously the tried to bring me back. Tried to talk me out of it in a few cases and almost like my wife when she visited me came close to beating me back home. Although in her defense I should have replied to that message sooner.”

“I’ll say” Spike commented.

“Though in the end after some lengthy convincing they understood that my mind was set. And that I didn’t intend on heading home till I had found my cutie mark, what made me feel like I had an actual goal in life. And” he added touching Spike’s shoulder gently making the dragon look up at him. “If they’re your true friends that care for you. They’ll understand...eventually” Merch said with a sheepish smile.

Spike stared in silence for a few seconds at the pony, mulling over his advice. He chuckled, taking Merch’s hoof in his hand and shaking it. “Thank you Merch” he said as the train came to a stop.

“Your welcome Spike.”

“Destination: Baltimare!” the conductor called as he trotted through the train cart and entered another. “Get your things and pack your stuff. Head to the doors and prepare for the stop if this is your destination!” the voice sounded throughout each train car.

“Well, this is my stop” Spike said grabbing his backpack and putting the heavy object on. “You coming?”

Merch smiled sadly. “Sorry Spike. But my stop is off to Maretonia. I’ve still got a few more stops to go before I reach my stop.”

Spike’s smile went slightly limp. “Oh” he said his ears drooping. “I uh...I understand” he said as the train came to a slow stop, it’s smoke box releasing a large cloud of smoke before whistling loudly into the night that it had arrived.

“Baltimare! Destination Reached! Doors Open!” the conductor called. Once all the doors opened ponies and any other passengers heading for the city began heading out. Spike hopped off his seat and looked back at Merch the two exchanging sad smiles as they would soon be parting ways.

The young dragon had enjoyed the salespony’s company. He’d provided him comfort, advice and given him a feeling like he wasn’t alone in the world, despite the fact he clearly knew he was not. But that didn’t change how reassuring it was.

“Hey, Merch” Spike said. The salespony looked at him with a raised brow. “Thanks for everything. It was nice talking to you while it lasted.”

“LAST CALL! Baltimare LAST CALL!” the conductor bellowed as a few more ponies filed out of the train carts.

Spike glanced at the door, then back at his new friend. The two stared at each other for a few seconds before Spike turned his back to the salespony and exited towards the door.

“Hey Spike!” the salespony said, galloping towards the exit and stopping in front of the door. Spike watched brow raised as the earth pony, gave him a card with the pony’s name on it.

“My card” Merch said with a smile. “contact me whenever you feel like you want to talk” he said. “And your welcome, it’s been fun talking to someone as interesting as you” Merch said with a smile.

Spike’s eyes began to sting but he ignored it, lifting his hand up one more time the two shook as the conductor moved towards the dragon who was too close to the train now.

“‘Scuse me sir” the conductor said. “Please stand back the train will be moving soon.”

Spike nodded, backing up a safe distance onto the station’s platform.

“Everypony for Baltimare gone?” he asked one of the workers inside. A shout of yes was the response before the unicorn conductor blew into his whistle. “Alright then” he said pulling on a switch. The train roared steam into the air after it had gained a few more ponies in it’s carts before slowly pulling off.

“Next stop Stalliongard!”

Spike stood there watching Merch slowly move through the cart and watch Spike begin to fade out of view. The two shared one more smile, before Spike saw his new friend and their short lived relationship disappear off into the distance.

Spike sniffed, looking at the card and information on it. Sliding the card into his bag with all the other precious memories and supplies, he turned and faced the station making his way inside where he would find a place he would spend the rest of the night resting before he began his big day in Baltimare.

And as the drake made his way through the station Spike never once looked back at the train that carried his friend off into the distance. Because Spike had been reassured.

“True friends, true family. Will always be there for you.”

Author's Note:

Feels?

Comments

[DARKPHANTOM13]

This look like the start of a worthwhile adventure.

[DragonRaiderX9]

I feel it's a little weird that this guy would readily share such a private letter, but otherwise I really enjoyed this. I'll be keeping an eye on it.

I also feel that it's weird that the story's going into hiatus right after chapter 1 is posted. Is it the holidays? Just curious.

[Black Hailstorm]

6751943 The reason I've put this story on hiatus and any other in-depth stories is because I've got too many stories that I'm working on and getting individual chapters out every week will get tough for me. I'll release the hiatus as soon as I get a bit more into my other stories.

[MadNimrod]

yay you continue it! Take your time, there is no rush

[TheWorstDiscord]

Dammit I came here expecting feels and I was not dissapointed in the least

Sooooo freaking eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

[Not so New Brony]

Yep, the feels hit me like a ton of bricks...ouch

[Mr Good Guy]

Many feels...

[Mr Good Guy]

6751953
Best of luck....

[HorrorYen]

The feels there too many...