Afraid Of My Shadow

by Deyeaz

XI - A Wedding We'll Never Forget (Jace)

Nemo(the onlyoneofmeisyou): Now with 20% more proofreader!

Afraid Of My Shadow

Written by CraimerX and ShadowWeaver

Proofread by the onlyoneofmeisyou

XI - A Wedding We’ll Never Forget (Jace)

"Oh, dear Celestia... Kill me now." I groaned as I wiped my mouth from the puke that had just exited my mouth and into the toilet. I was far beyond nervous, sweating like a pig as I flushed the vomit down the drain. I sighed when it was all over, as I walked to the sink and turned on the water. I splashed some of the liquid into my face.

Where the hell is Praxis...?

I understand if he’s a bit late: he IS a little forgetful sometimes. But he couldn’t be late for my own wedding, could he? I mean, he IS the best man for the wedding.

“Honey?” Vinyl called through the door. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I called back to her. “I’m fine.”

“Hurry up, dear!” She hollered. The silence that ensued indicated that she had left the vicinity of the bathroom door.

I sighed again and shook my head, clearing my lightheadedness. I looked in the mirror to see if my tuxedo was still okay. Yup, the white tuxedo, sky blue bow-tie, with matching button-up shirt. The only thing missing was.. Hell, what was I missing? A corsage? No, that’s on the counter right next to me... What the hell was I missing?! Christ, this is why I puke... I opened the bathroom door to see Vinyl and Wubsy donned in their clothes.

Well, at least I saw Wubsy’s outfit -- a white tuxedo with an electric blue music note on the lapel, as well as a matching top hat with an electric blue music note on the top -- because Vinyl’s horn started glowing, and before I knew it, my eyelids were magically closed, leaving me unable to see anything.

“Jace!” She yelled. “You know it’s bad luck for the groom to see his bride in her dress before the ceremony!”

“...But you don’t normally wear clothes!” I retorted.

“It doesn’t matter!” Vinyl fired back. “Cadence wore a wedding dress for her ceremony, and Shining Armor didn’t see her in it until the actual ceremony itself!” And just like that, I feel my feet leave the ground: Vinyl was levitating me.

“Oh shit, what are you doing?!” I demanded.

“Taking you upstairs! At least until Praxis, Trixie, and Riku get here!”

“Aww....” I complained.

“Don’t worry, Daddy!” Wubsy’s voice brightened me up a little bit. “I’m sure Uncle Praxis, Aunt Trixie, and Riku will be here soon!”

“Alright...” I grumbled in resignation. Her magic carted me to the top of the stairs before it stopped effecting me. Sure enough, my eyelids opened up, and I could see again.

I walked into mine and Vinyl’s bedroom, closing the door on my way in and plopping down in one of the couches in the room. I grabbed a book off of a random shelf and started reading.

*knock-knock-knock*

“Who is it?” I called, as I had just started reading the prologue to the story, which looked like some sort of adventure story about a bat-winged freak with some cat-like thing who was madly in love with him. I dunno, the plot looked shitty and the author was an idiot for making it, alright?

“It’s Praxis!” A male voice with a slight Middle Eastern accent called through the door. Sure enough, Praxis opened the door, donned in a tuxedo that was a palette swap of my own. Rarity, I believe, had also given him a pair of white ring-like earrings, like what Link wore in the Legend of Zelda series. He also had on a pair of pince-nez like from four years back during the Grand Galloping Gala, but these ones were silver-rimmed and tinted blue rather than red-tinted and gold-rimmed. He was clean-shaven of his goatee, and a large white bandage was also wrapped around his right hand to hide its demonic appearance.

Following him was Trixie and Riku. Riku was wearing a tuxedo like his father, but it was cerulean, like Rainbow Dash’s coat. He also had on a little fedora that was cerulean as well, with a white feather in its band. The overall effect looked very cute.

Trixie was dressed in a flowing light blue dress, with a ribbon tying her hair back. Rarity also decided to add some lavender eyeshadow to Trixie’s eyes to accentuate those lilac irises of hers. She looked really adorable as well.

“Well, how are we going to go about this?” Praxis asked. I pondered on how to do this as well. I can’t go with Vinyl, obviously: she’d beat me to a pulp.

“How about the women go on one cart, and the men go on the cart next to that one?” I suggested.

“Hmm, good idea, EVEN THOUGH THE GUEST LIST HAS FUCKTUPLED TO ABOUT FOUR HUNDRED MARES AND STALLIONS.” Praxis loudly declared. My jaw dropped at the statement.

“Baba!” Riku admonished. “Don’t swear!”

“Oops... sorry.” Praxis apologized. “Anyways. how are gonna fit four hundred ponies on the Friendship Express? The most it could hold is about three hundred. So a hundred would have to be left behind.”

“Hmm...” I started contemplating the situation, trying to figure out a loophole in this little mathematical situation.

Sadly, Math, despite me being very good at it, had kicked my ass in this challenge.

“I got nuthin’,” I admitted in defeat.

Suddenly, Praxis looked up with a grin, like a little lightbulb went off in his head. “I got it!”

“What?” I asked in desperation.

“...Beaner-packing.”

“...What?!” We all exclaimed at the answer.

“It’s simple. Just stuff them into the train! It’s foolproof!”

“What about discomfort issues?”

I may be desperate, but I wasn’t desperate enough to cram about four hundred ponies into a three hundred-pony train. Think of how cramped and claustrophobic they’d all be!

“Jace, it’ll only be for thirty minutes, or something along those lines. You and I have dealt with worse before.”

“Yeah, but that’s because we’re hardened badasses; they’re ponies. They’re not used to the conditions we’ve been put in. Also, beaner-packing? Their called ‘latinos’ not ‘beaners.’”

“Eh, true... And, sorry about that.” Praxis shrugged. “Besides, how can we carry the other one hundred ponies and run to Canterlot?”

Wait a second....

DING! Lightbulb!

Riku and Trixie must have had the same epiphany as well, because all three of us looked at Praxis with devilish grins.

Praxis caught on and started shaking his head in declination. “Ohhh, no! I’m not doing it! You can’t make me!” We started to advance on him. “Shit! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!”

---

~20 MINUTES LATER~

---

“...I can’t believe you treacherous swines roped me into this,” Praxis grumbled angrily as we strapped a harness onto his chest, which was now bare to prevent sweat from getting onto his clothes. His pince-nez was also removed so that it wouldn’t fall and break on the way to Canterlot. Behind him were 20 carts, all donated to us by Sweet Apple Acres, tied together to make one long makeshift train, each cart holding 5 ponies...

And Praxis was the engine.

“Don’t worry, Praxis: Y’all got Big Macintosh here t’go along with ya!” Praxis brightened at Applejack’s words, for she was the one in the front cart to mush Big Mac and Praxis along.

“Eeyup,” Macintosh murmured stoically. All of the occupants were clad in white and sky blue, the uniform colours for tonight's event. The fake train just looked like some sort of river in the light, from all the movement going on.

“Wait, why don’t you wanna be on the train again?” I asked AJ.

“If it’s gonna be crammed with 300 ponies, I don’ wanna be there gettin’ all steamy from body heat. So, night air and a few ‘workers’ t’mush us along’ll do nicely for a chance.” I raised an eyebrow at the way she said “workers.”

“Agreed,” Trixie said; she was also in the front cart, with Riku, Granny Smith, and Applebloom. The latter had grown up to be an upstanding mare, her vermilion hair braided in a ponytail by two hot pink ribbons. Applebloom wore a white dress that meshed well with her mane, and Granny Smith wore a simple blue dress.

Apparently, Praxis and Big Mac had caught on, too, for the satyr said to Applejack, “You slave driver... how could you?”

“Eeyup,” gulped Big Mac. After a small chuckle-fest, I walked back to the train station, where Vinyl and Wubsy were waiting.

“Daddy! Over here!” Wubsy called. I turned and saw him and Octavia in the cart about two carts down from the front. Octavia was in an electric blue dress, with black treble clefs on the spots where her Cutie Marks would be. The dress accented her slim physique and hair quite well. She even had midnight-blue eyeshadow on.

“Glad you could join us, Jace,” Octavia remarked.

“Where’s Vinyl?” I asked out of curiosity.

“She’s on the Friendship Express. It’s obvious you two shouldn’t be within sight of one another,” she explained.

“Ah.” I got inside the cart they were in and sat down gingerly. Two other ponies trotted in: Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo, rather than being the little filly with the petite wings, was now fully grown, with a bit of muscle upon her legs and body. Her wings had also gotten larger, much larger than normal. She was wearing a white dress that was clashing with her orange coat, but surprisingly, in a good way. Her plum-coloured hair was also tied back in a ponytail as well.

Sweetie Belle, like her friends, had also grown up. Her horn had extended, ending in a fine point. Her lilac and light pink mane and tail were curled to resemble her sister Rarity’s mane and tail. She wore Islamic-green eyeshadow to accent her eyes, which were the same shape as Rarity’s eyes. She also wore a sapphire dress, the shape and style of it accenting her shape as well.

“Hi, Jace!” The two said in joy. “Nice to see you again!”

“Glad to see you girls, too!” I said as they hopped into our cart.

“Giddyup, Praxis!” Applejack hollered. The cracking sound of a whip ensued, shortly followed by a yelp.

“OW! MY ASS!” The satyr roared in pain as he tried to run away from the mare whipping him. That only resulted in him pulling the makeshift train to Canterlot due to the harness tying him down. Me and the other occupants within earshot started laughing heartily at the incident. Big Macintosh kept in pace with him, the two working together to get to the Canterlot train station.

*WOOT-WOOOOOOT!*

The sound of the train’s whistle resonated across the field, a low hollow sound that rang out like gunfire. I looked to the right side of the makeshift train, and saw the Friendship Express chugging alongside us. My brain kicked into overdrive, and in a few moments... I was freaking the fuck out.

“SHIT! QUICK! HIDE ME!” I looked around the area, panicking. What if Vinyl looked out the window and saw me?! Oh, this was not in the plan! I turned to my right and saw the Everfree Forest flying past us.

Oh, this isn’t going to be my best idea but... I gotta do something!

“It was nice while it lasted, but, I think I’m going for a bit of a jog!” I hopped onto the side of the cart and saluted the others before hopping off into the trees and bushes of the forest, hitting the ground hard and smashing my side against the side of a tree. At least it stopped me.

“Sweet prepubescent Jesus juggling flaming chainsaws... and having a baby with Lucas Arndona... That fucking hurt...”

I don’t know if Vinyl saw me or not, but I’m sure if she did, I would be feeling it right about now... In my balls.

I eventually picked myself up off the ground and let out a groan. I may have busted a bone or something on impact, but that’s not gonna stop me. I’ve been worse.

“A little jog my ass...” I muttered. “This is going to hurt like shit...” I took in a deep breath before starting off slow with my running, since I didn’t want to overdo it in the beginning. Eventually I started to speed up, running faster and faster as my legs could take me, not bothering to use magic starting off. In my years of being in the Zone and not using magic, I pushed my body to the extremes pretty much every day and had conditioned myself to run fast for long distances. A great little thing to pick up, seeing as though I always relied on magic.

I could feel myself becoming fatigued after a good while of running, and decided now was a good time to bust out the magic. I clenched my fists and let the magic flow down, getting a feel for it before I actually started to use it. I hadn’t practiced in a bit, so it was better to start off slow then possibly obliterating myself in a magical explosion of doom.

I willed the magical power to go to my legs, and I could feel myself speeding up and my tiredness fading away. I went faster and faster, and could see the makeshift train come into view. It would be better for me to just run alongside it then actually get in, in fear of Vinyl seeing me. I ran up to the right side of the carts and they acted as my shield from the train.

“Now what in tarnation are ya’ll doin’, Jace!?” Applejack hollered, a look of annoyance smattered upon her face.

“Hiding from my wife-to-be!” I roared back.

“Really, you coward?!” Praxis screamed at me. “Why?!”

“I’m hiding from her because if she see’s me, I’m pretty much DEAD. It’s bad luck to see your fiance before a wedding, and if my luck doesn’t kill me, I might as well kiss my ass goodbye, because she will! She told me this when we were leaving earlier!” I explained.

“What, that ‘Don’t-See-The-Bride-in-her-Wedding-Dress-Before-The-Ceremony’ thing? Dude, that’s just superstitious bullshit!”

“That’s what I said!” I continued to run, but eventually, I got bored of running so slow and right next to the train. “Everyone, I’ll see you at the castle!” I gave a little salute and let my magic power up, letting it explode out behind me and I shot forward in a giant red stream of magic.

The fields blurred past me, warping and contorting from the speeds I was going at. Before long, I had hit the wall of the mountain that Canterlot rested on.

I charged up my magic just a bit more, enough for me to gain traction on the mountainside. I swerved and avoided any rocks that were jutting out of the mountain’s face. The trip took about five to six minutes, but I successfully made it up to the top. I slowed down significantly until I was at a leisurely jog.

I made my way for the castle, and pulled back my sleeve to check my watch. I had a good while before the wedding actually started, which was a good thing. I rounded the corner of the castle walls and saw many wealthy ponies conversing in the courtyard. As I browsed the streets of the city, I found a small little cafe dubbed “The Coffee Bean”, in all capital letters and neon tubes, with the ‘ee’ in ‘Coffee’ shaped like a large coffee mug, steam rising out of it.

It would do me some good to get some coffee. Waking up super mega ultra early isn't my idea of a good morning. Maybe a mocha with cream... Or pumpkin spice... Ohhh, pumpkin spice coffee. How I love thee.

Actually... Come to think of it.. Who owns this place? I didn't see this place four years ago.

“Hey! It’s Jace!” A voice cried from inside the shop. I turned my head, and my jaw dropped at who I saw.

The individual was a tall purple dragon, who looked about my height. The wings on his back look newly developed, like he had gotten them just a few weeks ago. The emerald green spines on his head were angular and pointed, and his muzzle was more angular and elongated as well. Rather than being chubby, the dragon was rippling with muscles. He still had those green eyes and innocent demeanor, though, and that meant only one thing.

“Sp-Spike?!” I said in surprise.

“Aw yeah, you remember me!” Spike’s voice had also gotten deeper as well.

So lemme get this clear... Spike, the chubby little dragon who was a hopeless romantic and complete weirdo... is now a fully-fledged hunk with a life?!

...Dear God... my whole life has been a LIE.

“What are you doing here in Canterlot?” I asked in a surprised tone.

“What am I doing here? Wow, you’ve been away for a while... I moved to Canterlot about... what, two years ago? I didn’t want to hold Twilight down with me getting older.” So that explained why I never saw him at either Praxis’ welcoming party or my own. “So, I went out, and looked for a job. Luckily, I ran into Black Gold.”

I nodded and looked around the room, then shot my head back to him. “BLACK GOLD?!”

“Oi! What’s with all th’ noise?!” A Scoltish voice shouted. I turned and saw the large yellow pegasus behind me, pulling in some crates. “Whoevah’s shoutin’, I’m gonna have t’ ask you t’ lea-” When he turned, his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. “JACE?! IS THAT YOU BOYO?!”

“The one and only,” I said happily, despite the slight hypocrisy behind Black Gold’s would-be sentence when he shouted at the top of his lungs in surprise. “What’s up?”

“It’s been a long time, laddy!” Gold said joyously before calling into the cafe: “Oi! Nutmeg! Mocha! There’s somepony ya ought t’ meet!”

I leaned back in my chair as Spike hurriedly rushed back inside the cafe, muttering something about more orders. At that point, I watched Nutmeg exit the cafe with what looked like her daughter. The poor filly was weak in the knees at meeting someone new, but Nutmeg was as ecstatic as ever.

“Well, I’ll be!” She whooped. “It’s been a long time, Jason Romero!” A strange and unexplainable spasm rocketed through my spine at the mention of my full name, like something bad had gone down, or I had done something wrong. Regardless, I shrugged it off and listened more intently to Nutmeg with a smile. “So how’s Stalliongrad been for ya?”

“Eh, could’ve been a lot worse,” I responded. “My eyesight’s pretty wonky and bad from watching all those Emissions, so I may need to get some glasses, or contact lenses.”

"Aye' thought you had that before?"

“I don’t know. It’s been a long time,” I confessed.

*WOOT-WOOOOOOT!*

It was faint, but I definitely heard it. The sound of the Friendship Express coming.

“Well, that’s my cue,” I said before walking down to the Canterlot train station. A few of the ponies who recognized and knew me waved happily, a gesture that I returned with gusto. The walk to the station gobbled up a minute or two of my time, and I get there the second both the Friendship Express and Praxis’ ghetto train pull into the station.

I grinned as Praxis hastily undid his harness, clopped over to me, and fell over a few hoofsteps later in exhaustion. Big Macintosh soon followed suit, the two of them crashing by my feet. “Prax, Mac, you two alright?” I asked in genuine concern.

“I’ve never felt such pain!!!” the satyr wailed, breathing like his lungs were on fire.

“Ee... Eeyup,” huffed Macintosh. I rolled my eyes and helped them to their hooves.

“You guys just need more exercise...”

“‘Scuse me asshole, but I didn’t see YOU pulling the damn cart!”

“Because if I was pulling the cart, Vinyl might have seen me. Now if you’ll excuse me I have some ponies to invite to my wedding. Get Vinyl to the castle safely.” I walked off from the train station, going for The Coffee Bean again.

“Actually... that’s not true. The train trolley holding Vinyl had the blinds drawn,” Praxis returned.

Wait... what?!

"Are you serious?" I asked of him.

"I shan't tell a lie." He smirked at my reddening face.

“Goddamnit!” The roars of laughter coming from the satyr almost deafened me from how loud they were.

I fired a middle finger his way before walking off towards the castle, while he and the others gathered all of the train-goers. I bet the princesses would be happy to see me again....

~End of Chapter XI~

Comments

[Fireeaters]

1557622 epic lolz

[the onlyoneofmeisyou]

1557622 you didn't give me a chance to proofread this part...

[lolz anonymous]

spike!!!!!!!

[Deyeaz]

1557926 1558544
Relax, niglets. I fixed it. :3

1559188
And yes: SPIKE, NYUGGA!

[the other sans]

I walked into me and Vinyl’s bedroom
Applejack hollered, a look of annoyance smattered upon his face.

1. Mine and Vinyl's bedroom. I just don't like the me there.
2. Wait... Applejack gender swapped?!

Before long, I had hit the wall of the mountain that Canterlot rested on.

I kept reading that line by itself and I imagined Jace literally running into the mountain and squishing himself flat as a pancake.
Now to try and finish reading that bat winged story... Hopefully by the end of this year...

[kitsuneito]

dananananananananan-BATMAN!