• Published 17th Nov 2016
  • 6,182 Views, 39 Comments

Stupid, Stupid Dress - Wandering Pigeon



Rainbow Dash agrees to help Rarity and winds up stuck outside in the absolute worst possible outfit.

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A Walk Around Town

Rainbow cowered in her hiding spot, trying in vain to cover up her poofy dress and even poofier diaper. Every now and again she would peek her head over the corner only to be greeted with the still bustling marketplace.

Sighing, Rainbow banged her head against the wall. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Her gaze darted over to Carousel Boutique right next door and she bit her lip. She could make a break for it, but she’d have to get to the front door somehow. In front of all those ponies…

But at least Rarity would be looking for her, if no other reason than to get the dress back. Surely if she came out with the scissors, then there would be no problem. They could take the dress off her right away and Rainbow would be in the clear. She just had to make sure Rarity could see her if she came looking.

Except how was she supposed to do that when she couldn’t let anypony else see her?

Rainbow groaned, folding her hooves across the chest of her dress. Shifting, she felt her bottom sink deeper into the diaper and winced. It shouldn’t feel comfortable, but it was anyway.

She peeked back around the corner over at Carousel Boutique. The front door was still closed. Rainbow gritted her teeth.

How long was she going to take? As much as Rainbow wanted to be patient, that was kind of hard when she was stuck outside in a diaper!

It must be because Rarity was searching the Boutique first. Why else would Rainbow have to wait for five whole minutes outside like this?

Unless she was still looking for the scissors…

Rainbow groaned again. Who knew how long she’d take if that was the case?

Absently, she tugged at the collar of the dress, anxious to get out of it. She would’ve already gotten out of the diaper since it was supposed to be removable, but there was a flap of fabric in the way, buttoned down to hold it in place. Since hooves were not designed to unbutton things it was not coming off anytime soon.

Which was very bad, because the longer Rainbow sat outside with nothing to do, the more bored she got. And the more bored she got, the more she realized that she hadn’t used the bathroom yet today. Like, at all. Sure, it wasn’t a big problem now, but if Rainbow had to wait around for a long time with no way to relieve herself… well, she didn’t want to think about what might happen.

But she didn’t have to avoid thinking about that for long, because a sudden click caught her attention.

Ears standing at attention, Rainbow turned to notice the knob for the backdoor to the building she was hiding behind was turning.

Time seemed to slow down. Rainbow panicked, breath catching in the back of her throat. She stumbled up and bolted, hoping to make it to the other side of the door so she could stay hidden when it opened.

It was a close call, but she managed to duck passed the doorway right as it started to swing open.

And end up in the interstice between buildings once more.

Pupils shrinking, Rainbow looked out to the side and saw the crowd still hustling and bustling about. She speed waddled behind the next building over, crouching under the back window.

Out of curiosity she glanced back and saw the pony who had forced her to scamper further from the Boutique. One of the flower ponies--Lilly maybe? Dash didn’t know them too well--was emptying a watering can onto the grass behind her shop. Thankfully, her back was turned, and she never checked behind her before she went back inside.

Dash breathed a sigh of relief and cursed herself at the same time. Now a whole house was between her and Rarity! Why hadn’t she run the other way? At least then she would be back behind the Boutique.

And be potentially spotted by potentially-Lily.

In the end, she was still (probably) unseen, which meant her reputation was intact. But it was now that much harder to sneak back to salvation.

Rainbow peered over the corner, and winced. Had that crowd gotten bigger somehow?

It was midday. Of course the market would be packed. But she couldn’t wait for hours for it to thin out, and she didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks to sneak back.

Crawling to the other side of the window, Rainbow Dash sat upright and leaned her head against the wall. She was about to sigh again, but froze as her eyes caught something.

This house's gutter was hanging really low.

And only a jump away from that was the roof.

Rainbow’s heart thumped loudly with excitement and she got up. This might just be the opportunity she needed! If she could get to the roof, nopony on the ground would be looking directly at her. That crowd was too packed and busy to bother!

This meant she could hop across the roof back to the flower shop, and maybe from there get Rarity’s attention!

Propelled by the possibility of freedom, Dash leapt up. Her hooves swiped the air, coming up empty as she fell back down to Earth. Her diaper hit the ground, cushioning the blow and Rainbow blushed. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was kind of grateful to it. But only because it protected her.

Rainbow had to jump a few more times before she managed a good hold on the gutter, climbing up she grabbed a hoofful of roof shingles and lifted herself up again. With a grunt, she rolled over onto the roof, and pumped a hoof in the air in victory. She’d done it.

Now to get over to Rarity.

Rainbow stood up, crouching a little just in case wayward eyes wandered her way. She was just able to catch a glimpse of the Boutique, and what she saw was promising.

The front door had opened, standing in its place was Rarity. She looked around, confused as she seemed to be searching for somepony. In her magical grasp: scissors.

Thank Celestia.

Rainbow didn’t call out to her yet, but started creeping along the roof. The jump to the next building was a long one, but she could make it. Especially if she got a running start. Then all she had to do was wave down Rarity and this dress would be off her for good.

Before she could even make it across the roof, however, a shadow swooped across her path. Not a bird or a cloud shadow either, it was definitely a pegasus shadow.

Rainbow froze. Slowly, she craned her neck up to the sky and winced.

Weather ponies were directly over head, fiddling with some clouds as they arranged a slight overcast. Rainbow gulped. They were too focused on their work right now to have noticed her, but one glance down and her rep was a goner.

Looking over, she saw some more weather ponies flying just passed the Carousel Boutique. Dash was already in their line of sight, though she doubted they recognized her yet.

Still, she wasn’t going to wait around for that to happen.

Turning, Rainbow bolted. Crinkles chased after her as her movements made the diaper squish in on itself. Rainbow still had to waddle slightly, but she was going too fast to notice and was too panicked to care.

The roof she was running on was also running out of room. Looking up, Rainbow saw the top of the next building over, just a good leap away. Shooting a glance back, Rainbow saw the weather ponies still coming. Whether they were giving chase to the oddly dressed pony on the roof, or were coming to assist with the cloud placing, she couldn’t tell.

And she didn’t take the time to find out.

With a single bound, Rainbow cleared the gap between buildings and landed on all fours on the next. She didn’t stop.

Mane whipping back, Rainbow carried the momentum and kept running. She didn’t dare look back, for fear it would slow her down.

Her heart raced as she leapt over to the next building, and the next. All she could think about was how she couldn’t let anypony see her like this.

A fourth jump. And a fifth. Surely she’d put some distance between her and the weather ponies, right?

Rainbow made a sixth jump before she finally started to slow down. One last leap across rooftops and she finally skidded to a stop.

Breathing heavily, Rainbow wiped the sweat from her brow. She felt the skirt of her dress bunch up behind her, and quickly smoothed it out to do whatever it could to hide her diaper.

Her dress… her diaper…

Rainbow groaned. She was not going to start thinking of these things as ‘hers’. No matter what, she had to avoid feeling… complacent with these things on.

Turning, Rainbow looked back to see the weather ponies had long since stopped. She breathed a sigh of relief, only to realize that once again she had distanced herself from the Boutique, and by a pretty wide margin, too.

“DANGIT!” Rainbow screamed. Her hoof whipped up to clamp down on her mouth. Looking out, she saw the ponies below flinching and start to look around for the source of the outburst.

Thinking quickly, Rainbow hopped off the roof and onto the ground behind the building she was atop. Forcing herself not to hyperventilate, Rainbow took solace in the fact that she was still, likely, unseen.

Man, I’m kind of a ninja today. She thought. A ninja in a pretty pink dress and diaper…

She shook her head, still panting. This was getting out of control, she was practically halfway across town at this point! Ninja or no, how was she supposed to get back to Rarity now?

Hitting the wall with the back of her head, Rainbow sighed. She was going to need help at this rate. At the very least, she couldn’t keep putting distance between herself and the Boutique. But who could she possibly trust to help her at this point?

“La lala lala~”

Rainbow’s eyes widened as a familiar cheery voice hit her ears. Looking over the side of the building, she saw an even more familiar pink pony walking along and singing to herself. She bore bulging saddlebags, and wheeled a baby carriage that looked big even for the Cake twins it probably held.

But Dash didn’t focus on that. Instead, she focused on the fact that the cavalry had arrived.

“Psst! Pinkie!” She whispered as loudly as she dared.

Pink ears flicked and Pinkie Pie turned to see her. “Hi Rainbow--”

“Shh!” Rainbow demanded. She looked around briefly before motioning. “Get over here.”

Pinkie wheeled her carriage into the gap between buildings and smiled, even as Rainbow retreated slightly behind the wall. “Hi Rainbow,” she whispered. “Why do I have to 'shhh'?”

“Because…” Rainbow gritted her teeth. “Pinkie promise me you won’t laugh.”

Pinkie blinked, surprised that such a sacred ritual was being invoked. “Okie dokie lokie. Cross my heart--”

“And that you won’t tell anypony.”

“--hope to fly--”

“And that you’ll help me out.”

“Stick a cupcake in my eye.” Pinkie dug a hoof into her cornea. “Okay, so what’s up?”

“I…” Rainbow sighed. She finally stepped out into the open, revealing the dress that was stuck on her body.

Pinkie’s face contorted into a grin and she brought a hoof up to clamp her mouth shut.

“You promised you wouldn’t laugh!” Rainbow said, face flushing. She hadn’t even mentioned the diaper yet, and probably wouldn’t at this point.

“I’m not laughing,” Pinkie replied, very much on the verge of laughing. She took a deep breath to calm herself. “What happened to you, Dashie? I thought you would never ever ever wear a dress like that in a million billion gajillion years.”

“Yeah, well…” Rainbow blushed, humiliated that she had sold herself out for cider. “Look, it’s stuck on me, okay? The zippers caught or whatever and I’ve been running around town trying not to let anypony see me.”

“Oh, okay. How can I help?” Pinkie was much more serious now. That didn’t happen often, but Rainbow appreciated her friend treating this matter with the utmost sincerity.

“I just need a way to get around town without being seen. Can you help me with that?”

“Hmm…” Pinkie pursed her lips in thought and tapped her chin. Her eyes glanced down and suddenly widened at the sight of the over-sized, empty baby carriage before her. “Oh! I have an idea.”

Rainbow’s heart stopped. “NO!”

Pinkie actually flinched. “Uh, it’s just a foal carriage, Rainbow.”

She pinched her thighs, the diaper crinkling softly. Rainbow didn’t want to step one hoof in that carriage. Wearing a diaper was bad enough, but riding around in one of those would amplify the badness of it all. It would be like she was a foal or something!

“I’m not riding in that,” Rainbow insisted. “What if somepony sees me?”

Pinkie reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a blanket. “I can cover you with this! Plus, the top will hide your head.” She patted the carriage

Rainbow bit her lip. “W-Why do you even have a foal carriage that big?” she asked, desperately diverting the topic of conversation away from her getting inside it.

“Oh, cause I just finished helping Twilight!” Pinkie explained. “You see, she was practicing a spell that makes stuff bigger, and asked me to find some stuff for her to try it out on. Since the Cakes took the kids out of town for the weekend, I figured there was no harming in borrowing some of their stuff, especially since Twilight is trying out a shrinking spell tomorrow.” She gave the carriage a pat. “So, you want to get in, now?”

Rainbow blushed with embarrassment. “No! Come on, Pinkie, there has to be another way to keep me hidden!”

Pinkie cocked her head. “Well… what have you been doing so far?”

“...Running and hiding.”

“And how’s that worked out for you?”

Rainbow wanted to get mad, but there wasn’t a trace of sarcasm in Pinkie’s voice. Not to mention she was right.

Lowering her head, Rainbow accepted defeat for now. “Okay, fine.”

Pinkie smiled, delighted she was able to help. Pushing the carriage forward she nudged her head toward it. “Okie dokie lokie then, get in.”

Rainbow eyed the carriage, muscles locking up. She still really didn’t want to do this. Forcing a hoof up, she inched towards the carriage slightly, only to let her leg drop before even touching it.

Suddenly Pinkie appeared behind her. “Here, I’ll help.”

“What are-- hey!” Dash’s face could get more red as Pinkie lifted her up, keeping her in a cradling hold for a moment as she positioned her over the carriage. Rainbow squirmed, right as Pinkie set her down.

Even with the size increase, the carriage still was a bit of a tight squeeze. As Rainbow’s head met the soft pillow near the front, her forelegs squished against her sides and her hind legs had to tuck in to fit. She squirmed, but found moving to be difficult. Almost impossible even.

“There we… go…” Pinkie looked down and blinked.

Rainbow was confused for a moment, but then realized that the helm of her dress was flipped up, revealing the puffy padding between her legs. Her cheeks burned. “D-Don’t ask…” she mumbled.

“...Uh... alrighty. Here.” Pinkie whipped out the blanket and spread it over Dash’s body, tucking her in. The warm, fuzzy blanket brought with it a sleep-inducing feel. Dash had to admit, she was a little tired from all the running and panicking she’d been doing lately. Plus, helping Rarity had cut right into her mid-afternoon nap schedule, which was never a good thing for her to miss.

Backing up, Pinkie surveyed her work, while Dash looked around. The head of the foal carriage was pulled up, obscuring her view of the sky. However, flicking her eyes down was all it took to see Pinkie.

“I don’t feel very hidden,” Rainbow said. “Maybe we should try something else.”

“Like a disguise!” Pinkie clapped her hooves. Dash breathed a sigh of relief; that was a much better idea that riding around in a foal carriage.

Pinkie started digging around in her saddlebags, but strangely didn’t move to get Rainbow out. After a bit of struggling, Rainbow gave up and decided to wait for Pinkie to help.

“Here we go.” Pinkie pulled out a large, pink bonnet.

“Uh, excuse me?” Rainbow asked.

“Well, duh silly. Your mane is a dead giveaway. If somepony were to just glance in the carriage they could tell it was you! Don’t worry though, you can totally borrow Pumpkin’s bonnet. It’s too big for her right now anyway.

“I don’t-- Hey!” Rainbow was cut off as Pinkie leaned and and wrapped the bonnet around her head. She squirmed, muttering some protests as Pinkie shoved as much of her mane behind her head as possible.

Feeling her hair tug back was uncomfortable, but Rainbow’s protests went unnoticed. By the time Pinkie stepped back, the bonnet was wrapped around her head and tied into place at her chin. Rainbow’s ears folded down inside her new, filly-ish hat and she realized her peripheral vision was completely cut off now.

Not exactly what she wanted when Pinkie had offered a disguise; in fact, this was just pushing her closer and closer to looking like a foal. But still, she understood that this was probably the only disguise Pinkie had on her at the moment, save a fake mustache that wouldn’t help at all.

But that didn’t mean Dash would have to like it.

“Pinkie!” Rainbow complained.

“Hmm…” Pinkie observed Rainbow’s appearance. “That’s better alright.”

“Depends on who you ask,” Rainbow grumbled.

Pinkie tapped her chin. “The problem is you just don’t have the face of a foal. If somepony sees you they would know right away that you’re an adult.”

“So what do we do?” Rainbow asked. Please say you’ll take me out of the carriage. Please say you’ll take me out of the carriage. Please say--

“Oh! I know!” Pinkie reached back into her saddlebags. Dash’s hopes fell.

She struggled against the carriage once more, but her hooves were pinned to her sides by the squeeze. All her resistance did was shift the carriage forward, but Pinkie caught it with a hoof before it could roll away.

“Here we go!” Pinkie pressed her hoof to Dash’s face, shoving something in her mouth.

A huge rubber bulb parted her jaw and pushed at her tongue. When a plastic guard hit her lips, Rainbow knew what it was. “A pafifier?” She lisped as Pinkie pulled her hoof away. Rainbow spat it out. “A pacifier?” she hissed.

“Yeah,” Pinkie said. “I mean, it’s foalish right? As long as nopony gets a second look at you, they’ll never suspect a thing!”

“But it’s humiliating!” Rainbow whined.

“But nopony will know it’s you,” Pinkie countered. She nabbed the pacifier and shoved it back in Rainbow’s mouth. “Just keep it in and nopony will be the wiser, okay?” she booped Rainbow’s nose for good measure.

Rainbow sighed, defeated. She definitely didn’t want to be recognized in all this crap, so despite the embarrassment of using a pacifier in front of her friend she would put up with it.. Besides, Pinkie had already promised not to tell anypony. “O’tay…”

“Alrighty then! Let’s go!” Pinkie disappeared around the carriage and moments later the world zoomed around to face the busy street.

Dash whimpered as they approached the town, and bit on the pacifier's bulb. Soon they entered the street and Dash shut her eyes.

No name calling, no laughter, no confused grunts. As Rainbow opened her eyes again she saw that the ponies they passed weren’t so much as looking in her direction.

She suckled on the pacifier in relief. That was--

Wait…

Rainbow blinked as she realized her lips were bobbing up and down, suckling away at the pacifier they held. She must’ve been so worried that she hadn’t even realized she was doing it.

Groaning, she stopped. But then it just felt… weird. Doing nothing with the pacifier she had in her mouth was almost as bizarre a feeling as just having in her mouth to begin with. At least suckling it felt natural...

Dash shook her head and tried to focus on something else.

...Like her bladder.

The fear and embarrassment from earlier made her forget again, but now that things were calmer it was hard not to notice. The pressure was even worse now that she had waited a little longer. It was hard to deny that she needed to go to the bathroom.

Rainbow wiggled her legs, eliciting a crinkle from her diaper. She was trying to find a good ‘holding it’ pose, but being stuck was not helping. Rainbow groaned and just decided to do everything she could to ignore it. At least they were moving; soon Rarity would be able to--

They stopped.

Rainbow’s eyes widened. Immediately, she began to worry. Had something happened? Did she miss someone who just recognized her?

“Mmph--” She caught herself before she could ask. Just in case, she didn’t want to attract attention to herself. But still, she had to know.

Just then, Pinkie spoke. “Hey Bon Bon, how’re you?”

Rainbow became livid. Really? Pinkie had stopped to chat with somepony? Did she not realize how dangerous of a situation Rainbow was already in? She should be running to the Boutique at top speed, not making friendly conversation.

Her anger peaked about halfway through the chatter behind her before she started to calm down some. She did have to admit that Pinkie wasn’t exactly drawing more attention to her. In fact, it might be more concerning for everypony in town if Pinkie just ran straight to the Boutique with an oversized carriage rather than do what she normally did and talk to friends.

Still, Dash wanted out of this carriage as soon as possible. Could Pinkie just not understand that?

She suckled on her pacifier and pouted; this was not going the way she wanted it to.

“Okay, see you around.”

Dash breathed a sigh of relief. The carriage started moving again now that the conversation was over. Maybe now they coul--

“Oh hi, Clockwork!”

Dash groaned, head sinking into the pillow as the foal carriage came to a stop again. Boring small talk resumed behind her, but she didn’t have the energy to be super angry anymore. She was just annoyed, and sleepy.

Very sleepy, in fact.

The warm blanket wrapped around her body, coupled with the pillow she was resting on reminded Dash that she never got to finish her afternoon nap. Considering Pinkie would be talking for a little while longer it probably didn’t matter if she caught a few winks or not.

Letting her eyes slip from open to half-lidded, Rainbow felt exhaustion start to really pile on. She shifted, snuggling up in the carriage. She was even suckling on her pacifier again, but didn’t really notice.

As her eyes closed all the way, Dash decided that her current situation was a little comfortable. Just a little.

But she was still glad that it would be over soon.