She brought a light teal hoof up to brush back her dark sienna mane, and her wings ruffled. Her crow’s feet looked somehow deeper now than they had just minutes before. “I just don’t get it.” I mean this kinda stuff just isn't a good way to start out. Starting it out that way takes a while before people realize who you Are talking about

Where are the characters that this "Metal crunched into newspaper.
Newspaper slid into cardboard.
Cardboard stacked atop more cardboard atop wood." is happening?

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I say again that I'm sorry the style of the prologue doesn't work for you. I appreciate that my saying that this is a very subjective concern won't satisfy you, but in this case, that's really the only answer I feel I can give you without this conversation running on for a while and eating up the comment section. I also appreciate that you're only trying to help. Thank you for that.

in an freakishly perfect voice, continued, “‘Rainbow, if ya keep – hic – drinkin’ like – hic – like that, then come mornin’, y’all’re gonna be findin’ yerself deader than the – hic – than the stench ya call yer breath.’”

That'd be 'a'. And I love that line, it's probably freakishly good because they have the same VA though.