Pinkie Pie and her friends were waiting at the station for the arrival of the train from the rock farms community: the pink pony was bouncing in place, hardly containing herself, while the other five mares and the little dragon just sat around. All of them, except for Applejack, remembering Maud's visit, were almost afraid of what would come out of that train. Applejack, of course, had already seen Marble and wasn't worried. Hanging from the walls of the station, there was a big hoof-made banner that said "Welcome to Ponyville Marble!", with the stylised figures of Pinkie's and Marble's heads, both smiling, painted with bright colours and covered in glitter.
If Pinkie wasn't so absorbed in the thought of seeing her little sister again, she might have noticed that none of her friends had prepared the way they had done when Maud had come: for instance, Rarity hadn't even bothered putting on any of her fancy get-ups. However, Pinkie, as mentioned, wasn't in the right mindset to notice such details, and just kept bouncing in place happily.
The hooting sound of the train eventually resounded through the station, as the train finally approached.
Pinkie jumped even higher and screamed in delight. "She's here! She's here!"
As the train was slowing down on the dock, all of them gathered in order to properly welcome the new arrival. The door opened and the only pony to come out was the shy little grey figure of Marble Pie, with her luggage. She appeared to be looking around for something, but also didn't seem to find it and, for a brief, fleeting moment, a look of disappointment passed through her face. The moment was cut short by Pinkie, who dashed to hug her sister.
"Marble! It's me, Pinkie! Your bigger-by-a-couple-of-minutes sister! Did you miss me? I have been soooo excited since I got your letter and I brought all of my bestest friends here with me so that you could meet them too and I couldn't resist so I organised a surprise party for you. Oops, I spoiled the surprise, but it doesn't matter: at least you don't know about the cake. Say hi to my friends Marble!"
Marble Pie was somewhat underwhelmed: firstly, there was the disappointment of not having the Apple family to welcome her, like she had dreamed of; secondly, from the station she couldn't see the town and she was anxious to see it. But, if it made any sense at all, she was also somewhat overwhelmed by, well... all those unknown ponies looking at her: she was afraid that their faces were showing how much of a let-down she was.
In a moment, Marble realised that Pinkie had asked to say hi to her friends, blushed nervously, and just murmured, "Mhm..."
There was a moment of awkward silence, interrupted by Applejack, who said, "We already got introduced just a few days ago, but it's great seeing you again, sugarcube."
And the the orange mare gave her a wink. Marble sheepishly smiled and murmured again, a little bit more convinced. "Mhm!"
Pinkie interrupted, bringing with her a canary yellow pegasus pony, who seemed almost as nervous to meet Marble as Marble was to meet her.
"This is my friend Fluttershy! You have a few things in common, I'm sure you'll get along just fine!"
Then proceeded introducing all the others: Rarity, the white unicorn, Rainbow Dash, the cyan pegasus with rainbow mane, Spike the dragon and Princess Twilight Sparkle, a purple pony who sported both a horn and a pair of wings.
They all seemed friendly, but Marble was afraid of being some kind of disappointment to them: knowing her sister, she surely had spoken much about her to them, possibly conditioning their first impression. She was just a boring little grey earth pony from the countryside, they looked all so colourful and special: there was even royalty between them. She thought she couldn't possibly compare to the image of her that Pinkie had most certainly painted to them.
Pinkie said, "Now all of you, I'm going to accompany my sister to Sugarcube Corner, we'll meet in... you know... the place... later. And off we go!"
Marble was literally dragged away by her sister as the other five ponies and the little dragon waved to them.
They went out the door of the station and, for Marble, it was like walking out of a magic portal. The winter snow hadn't been swept away, like in her community, and Hearth's Warming lights were still all around the place, even though the festivity had been no less than five days prior.
While they were walking, Marble watched in awe that town so different from anything she had seen in her life: the colours, the constant noise of ponies gleefully chatting with one another, the genuine smiles that she could see coming from every direction, the fillies and colts playing and laughing in the snow. She also noticed that Pinkie was greeting every single creature she would find on her path and everypony responded... nopony would have been so expansive where she came from: everyone she knew (and, of course, Sandstone) would have disapproved of all that loudness. It was like being in a totally different world and, despite her being shy and introverted, she actually liked it more this way: at least it didn't look like everyone was just waiting for her to make some mistake and judge her for it, as everyone seemed content of just living and letting others live.
The buildings were all of different colours from what she was used to: bright yellow, shiny white, even some light green, compared to grim brown and, of course, grey. How often did they paint their houses to keep them so bright? Did anypony set a standard for what colours could be used or were they free to do as they pleased? Sandstone would have disapproved of decorating buildings that way: houses were just places where to sleep, they weren't meant to be pretty. And, speaking of buildings, she could see just the top, but there appeared to be a crystal castle on the other side of the town. She didn't even think it was real: she only thought it was the main attraction of a fair or something.
Walking, she could see a fountain with a big sculpture of a rearing mare: she had never seen a sculpture so big, she didn't even know it was possible. Just how much time and effort had the sculptor put into the work? How did he or she find the material to do it on the soft ground that Ponyville was apparently built on? What kind of tools had he or she used? Who was the portrayed mare and why had she been chosen as the subject? Sandstone would have never approved of such a frivolous expression of individuality being put on public ground.
There was also a small stand selling hot chocolate, which emanated a very sweet scent. Another very appealing aroma came from a nearby bakery, selling hot flat bread. And then another, from yet another small stand selling caramel apples. She couldn't believe that so many foods were allowed to coexist within such a small distance: Sandstone would have said that that variety would distract hard working ponies from really important things.
She also saw a shop that actually only sold fancy dresses, which was an absolute novelty for her as well. Up until that moment, Marble had never considered what it would have been like to wear a fancy dress: she had only once seen somepony wearing something that beautiful and that mare was getting married. What did it feel like? What kind of colours would have been possible to try on? Would she need to get her mane styled, wearing something like that? Was there the possibility that even she could feel... pretty? Sandstone would have really, really disapproved of something like that being a business in their community.
There were just so many things that were so much different from what she knew, but she managed, in her head, to condense all the differences in just one core idea: what was grey and nothing but grey in the community, in Ponyville was anything but. She had compared all of what she was seeing with what Sandstone would have approved but, really, the other ponies in the community weren't much better, with the possible exception of her own family.
Marble was just in such awe from all those wonders that she hardly noticed the word flood that her sister was unleashing on her. She didn't even know where they were going, until it appeared in front of them: a building assembled in such a way to resemble a big ginger bread house, covered with chocolate, cream and frosting. Apparently, it was Sugarcube Corner, the place where Pinkie lived and worked.
They went in and Pinkie chirped, "Hello Mr and Mrs Cake! This is my littler-by-just-a-minute-or-two sister, Marble Pie! As I told you, she's going to stay here for a few days, but you will probably not even know she's there: she's quite the silent type."
Marble had noticed that Pinkie said that she would stay a couple of days, but didn't correct her, not feeling like correcting her sister in front of strangers. On the other side of the counter, there were an orange square stallion and a plump blue mare and both were smiling.
She was the first to answer. "Hello Marble, nice to meet you! I hope you're going to have a nice stay here. Pinkie spoke a lot about you, you know?"
Marble thought to herself, 'Of course she did...', blushing. The blue mare noticed that and chuckled. "Awww! Look how shy she is! She is a real cutie!"
The orange stallion, who was smiling too, intervened. "Stop it, Cup Cake dear, don't you see you're making it worse? Pinkie, why don't you show your sister where she's going to sleep for as long as she stays in here? I'm sure she would like to get rid of her luggage."
The room in which Pinkie lived had more than enough space for the both of them. The pink pony said to her sister, "It's nothing fancy, but I like it here. What do you think, sis?"
The grey mare answered, "It actually is very nice: I never thought you would move into a sweet-shaped home. It does make sense though..."
Pinkie giggled. "I know, right? I'm glad you like it. You really should leave your stuff here and come with me: there is a surprise party which is not really a surprise anymore but it's still waiting for you."
Marble left her luggage on the side of the folding bed she would be sleeping on, while Pinkie was already on her way to go downstairs. She really wasn't looking forward to a party and hoped that the number of guests would be as little as possible. She also hoped that she could go and take a walk around the town, alone, so that she could see as many new things as possible, without worrying about other ponies knowing her, watching her and judging her; maybe she would find inspiration for the little sculpture she was planning to do, maybe she would meet by chance somepony who hadn't been there at the train station... She also didn't have much time: the next morning she was already supposed to go home, so she would also need to buy her ticket later on.
She heard Pinkie shout from the other room, "Marble! They're waiting for us! Hurry up!"
Marble came out of the room and asked her sister, "Is there going to be a lot of ponies at the party?"
"You'll see soon enough..."
The grey pony didn't like the answer, but didn't speak her mind, limiting her reaction to a small frown.
Pinkie did notice that and, for once, took her energy down a notch and said, "Don't worry sis: you're going to like it, I'm totally sure. This is a Pinkie promise: you're going to enjoy your party!"
Then she made the motions of her Pinkie promise with absolute solemnity. Marble smiled: she knew how seriously her sister took those promises.
They went out of Sugarcube Corner and Pinkie started leading her sister through the streets of Ponyville with her usual excited energy. Marble could tell that they were going out of the town centre, but could not guess where they were actually directed.
Just outside of town, Pinkie stopped and said, "Since I spoiled that there is a surprise, let me make it at least a surprise where we're going."
She took a blindfold from her saddlebag and put it on Marble, who just let her, trusting her sister. The grey young mare could not see, but Pinkie was holding her hoof and guiding her. The snow on the dirt path had been swept away, so she could feel the frozen earth beneath her hooves: it was soft, with few rocks and lots of nutrients, from which she guessed it must have been very fertile and used for agriculture, since Ponyville apparently lived on it.
She gradually heard the already faint noise of the town going lower and lower, substituted by the scarce chirping of those birds that don't go south in winter and the gentle rustling of dry branches in the wind: she guessed that there were a lot of trees around and that, in any season other than winter, the sound would have been of rustling leaves. After a few minutes, she heard the distinct sound of a barn door opening. Just before the blindfold was removed, she heard the small sounds of ponies trying to be silent but failing in many very subtle ways.
When Pinkie took the cloth band away from her eyes, Marble saw roughly a dozen ponies in party outfits shouting, "SURPRISE!!!"
Marble is such a cutie pie! I feel for her though. I really hope she enjoys her party.
She's just adorable. No wonder Mac likes her.
6583962 yeah, I know I use long sentences: it is something that I drag from my mother language (Italian), where it's not uncommon. I am trying to cut them as much as possible. The colon is used to separate a phrase from an explanation or precisation and, for some reason, my brain seems to do that a lot. I am trying to cut that one as well. I am going to correct everything you mentioned as soon as possible: most of it seems to be bad mannerisms that I drag from my mother language, but I'm not going to use it as an excuse to keep getting it wrong. I really appreciate constructive criticism, so thank you very much for providing it
6584071 Thank you again! I am going to correct it as much as possible. You are providing me with some really useful insight.
Edit: The only thing that confuses me is this: do you not make a distincion between ground floor and first floor? I have been in English speaking countries and I never noticed the ground floor being marked as "one"... maybe I simply did not pay attention enough, but it does sound odd to me.
Edit II: Pardon me, but I thought "was" is the simple past tense of the verb "to be", so I don't get how that particular sentence sounds present to you. Maybe it is something that I have somehow missed, but I would like to know it, so that I don't repeat the same mistake in the future.
Trailed isn't the right word in this case. Yes it is a verb, yes it means to follow, but the following is usually done under ones own power and usually in secret; example: "The wolf trailed its prey into the thickening woods."
In this case dragged would fit better.
"expressive"?
What are you trying to say here? Rampant is not a word usually used to describe a statue. Weeds and other fast growing things are usually associated with the word. It is kinda like "rampage". My mind is thinking it is a "crazy mare" statue.
"her", "styled"
Cake? It looks more like a gingerbread house.
Cute story, I think I will stick around for any chapter updates.
6584051
No problem, like I said earlier I couldn't pick out everything since it would be very tedious but I pointed out examples of what I thought would be best to focus on first.
6584147 oooh, thank you! I was looking for the right word right there and I wasn't finding it! Yes, I know that "drag" is the best there and "trail" didn't sound right, but unfortunately, the right word just slipped my mind when I was writing that... as far as the rest goes, not to sound repetitive, but I thank you and I will correct it immediately. Though, I thought that "rampant" is used in iconography when some kind of animal, usually an equine, is standing on their hind legs and pointing their fore legs in a majestic pose... I might be wrong, but that is what I thought.
6584161
Yes rampant does mean that, but I think that is more in terms of family crests and not statues. I am not quite sure since that meaning of the word is depreciated in modern times and even more so in America.
6584284 that sounds really odd to me: as far as I know, iconography uses the same terminology regardless of the medium used. Again, I may be wrong, but I'm not really convinced about that. If you could also check the second answer I gave you, I do have a couple more doubts (if that is ok with you, that is...).
How did I miss this chapter? Or is it new?
You know what, ignore me.
I'll be over there... Somewhere.
6584352
You're probably right. It is just something I have not seen often. You got me this time Gustav!
6584111
In my experience in elevators you either have the ground floor marked as "1" or "G". But I have never seen the floor above the ground floor called the first floor, always jumps to 2. After that, anything under the ground is called Basement 1, then 2, and so forth.
"to be" does work as the present tense of "was", but it also depends on other context. I am not really sure what you are referring to in this case though so I can't really give accurate information.
6587653 will do, thanks!
This has been a cute story and very fun to read so far, and Marble is absolutely adorable, but man is it also depressing in a sort of way.
Sandstone wouldn't approve of this, Sandstone wouldn't approve of that, Sandstone wouldn't allow those - why do I have a feeling that the place Marble comes from is in dire need of a stern visit from Equestria's actual authorities to straighten a few things out? Because on top of all the other restrictions you actually need to get Sandstone's permission and approval if you want a train ticket to leave the place a bit and she thinks she can mandate the time ponies are allowed to stay away.
That whole ticket business has got to be illegal in like five different ways! Sounds like a petty dictator who has set up her own fiefdom and somehow slipped through the cracks. That place needs a dose of reality and Sandstone needs to go the way of Starlight Glimmer
6584932
I believe they number floors like that in England.
It's atypical in America, but in cases where the building is built into a hill, parking garage, or another building and has entrances on multiple floors I've seen it happen. Just for example close to me is a hospital complex consisting of multiple buildings. You enter on first floor of the main building, but another building has a lower entrance thanks to the hilly terrain and that floor is called the 'Ground floor' across the whole complex.
6597180
Very likely nopony needs Sandstone's permission in any legal sense. She is a social leader and her approval carries weight in the minds of the community not the courtroom. However, has Marble is showing, the weight of social pressure can be considerable even without law to back it up. Marble has the option of disobeying Sandstone, but it would earn her the judgement and ire of the community.
I'm not defending repressive communities like that, but there probably isn't anything illegal going on there.
6584352
It does but very few Americans study any sort of heraldry, and that meaning of the word has fallen into disuse here. I can't speak for any other English speaking countries, though. 'Rearing' would be more recognized word.
Anyway, the story is very good thus far. Doubly impressive since this is not your mother language. Your Pinkie Pie is particularly good, though Applejack could use some improvement. I've noticed that a lot of people who don't live at least within a two hour drive of the American South have a hard time writing dialogue for a character with a Southern accent. I could help a bit there if you'd like.
Marble is so adorable in this right now.