Rewritable

by Detsella Morningdew

Prologue: Where am I? What happened? And...who am I again? (Rewrite)

I woke up, resting on something uncomfortable and pointy.

Strange.

I opened my eyes. Around me was a gigantic crater, filled with blue crystal. It was like I was in some colossal geode.

Doubly so.

I got up onto my hooves, then fell back down again.

Obviously not ready yet. What happened?

I wracked my brain with no result. Like, absolutely no result. Well, one word seemed to stand out in my mind. Sidereus

Well, this is utterly inconvenient.

I got up, carefully placing my hooves in the correct positions, and examined myself. I was a dark blue, almost black pegasus colt, and my mane was even darker. All that seemed rather familiar, except it felt strange being that small.

I examined my surroundings. I appeared to be in a dense forest, well, in a clearing now due to the crater. Two paths led off in opposite directions.

Well, probably one path that I just interrupted violently.

I looked back into the crater, looking for clues to how I got there. There wasn't even a flat spot where I landed. All of it was uninterrupted crystal. Although there was another thing odd about it. It was almost perfectly spherical.

Well, hemispherical, technically.

I looked at the forest surrounding me. It was rather dark, considering that the sun was out. Fortunately, it looked like it was around 8:00 AM according to the sun. At night, this forest would be a nightmare to navigate. At least the path was pretty clear.

Howls sounded in the distance.

Aren't wolves nocturnal?

Anyway, I didn't want to stay there for long. I started down one of the paths. It couldn't possibly be worse than almost breaking my legs on these jagged crystals. Seriously, walking on that stuff hurt.

Author's Note:

Here is the heavily edited version of my first chapter. First person fits so much better and is much easier to write. Still, give me feedback. Constructive feedback. If you hate it, don't just tell me you hate it, tell me why so I can fix it. If you love it, tell me which parts make it that way, so I can make sure to do that in the future. I am a new writer, and I appreciate any help. Grammar nazis, feel free to tell me of any errors, and I will fix them. I am my own editor, and as such, can easily make mistakes. You may notice that the other chapters are gone. I am editing them, too, since I didn't really do a good job on them, either.

Comments

[Shy Marble Pie]

I'm a new writer too. It can be hard to get things just right.

I have a little trouble placing detail around the scene. This opening chapter I thought was really nice. Good detail on the crash site and the surroundings.