A changeling born in the post-war Crystal Empire must step outside of her home for the first time. On a mission given to her by her Goddess, Luminous Gem and her partner Clear Skies will go on an adventure through the Northern Equestrian Wasteland.
My suggestions: ~Give us only one introductory chapter where all the boring stuff summed up here is explained. So far, it's nothing but boring exposition and that's no fun to read. It's also not a good idea to just throw out all the prologue stuff with no actual story taking place (i.e. an actual chapter instead of the intro stuff here, the main meat of the actual story).
~It's dangerous to go alone, get an editor (or two). My suggestion would be to post editing requests on the Fallout Groups as groups like Looking for Editors are all a bunch of rotten cts.
6565949 I think I messed up on that chapter's name, the second one was meant to be called Prologue but I gaffed up. That mistake of mine shall be fixed.
6569604 I wanted to use the style that the original FO:E gave with its introduction and prologue but I might combine those two chapters for leanness sake. I might go about getting myself an editor... maybe...
I see two intros. Is the one with more words supposed to be the prologue?
My suggestions:
~Give us only one introductory chapter where all the boring stuff summed up here is explained. So far, it's nothing but boring exposition and that's no fun to read. It's also not a good idea to just throw out all the prologue stuff with no actual story taking place (i.e. an actual chapter instead of the intro stuff here, the main meat of the actual story).
~It's dangerous to go alone, get an editor (or two). My suggestion would be to post editing requests on the Fallout Groups as groups like Looking for Editors are all a bunch of rotten cts.
6565949
I think I messed up on that chapter's name, the second one was meant to be called Prologue but I gaffed up. That mistake of mine shall be fixed.
6569604
I wanted to use the style that the original FO:E gave with its introduction and prologue but I might combine those two chapters for leanness sake.
I might go about getting myself an editor... maybe...