• Published 20th Oct 2015
  • 4,594 Views, 103 Comments

Rebirth - Pwn13s

You adjust to life in Equestria as a Human. Love story featuring Lyra and Bon Bon.

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May 17th 2015
I think it goes without saying that none of this has been easy on anyone. It has now been a full year since the death of Bon Bon. Bit more even. We all still miss her like crazy, but Lyra’s getting better. She’s still pretty down though. Am I over it? Of course not. In reality I'll never get over it, I'm just able to live with these emotions more than some. More than Lyra.

There’s been quite a few people running around and helping Lyra out, so I’m not alone in the ‘rehabilitation process’ if that’s what you wanna call it. I just have to bear the most weight, what with me living with her. Cheerilee’s had her over for tea a couple of times, Carrot Top gave us front row tickets to one of her shows, Trixie’s taken us to one of hers, and Derpy seems to be constantly baking a batch of muffins. So I’ve got help. More importantly, Lyra’s got help.

I still can’t say much about Bon’s “request”. She’s more comfortable around me than I expected, and we’re still living in the same house, which is obviously pretty good. But I just…. don’t really see it happening. It’s not that I think she hates me, or even mildly dislikes me, but really. Her entire bloody sexual preference is the same as mine, and considering we’re different genders….

You don’t really have to be a psychologist to figure out why I don’t have high hopes. Or a biologist.

But, now I’m not so sure. Yesterday made me slightly uncertain about things. Lyra’s been extremely reserved since Bon died. I mean, she speaks to me, but I’m talking about the no touching type of reserved. However, out of nowhere, she kissed me on the cheek.

And yes, I know that doesn’t mean a lot, I’m not a middle school kid crushing on some chick who kissed me on the playground. But this felt genuine. Different from what she would do earlier on. It was gentle, soft but needy, and she lingered briefly. Blushed pretty hard afterwards.

So there’s that. It’s not much and it doesn’t prove a lot, but it’s something.

I guess we’ll see.

June 24th 2015
Things looked like they were going pretty okay. And they still are, just a bit less okay than before. I’ve had quite a few flashbacks in the last week, about 5 of them. And the headaches were fucking miserable. Worse than ever before. Worse than I ever could have expected. Not a single one hasn’t given me a nosebleed, and to top it off, I was quite literally paralysed after one of them. For at least five minutes.

I don’t know what any of this means, and I don’t know when they’ll end. Something tells me they can’t last much longer, but it all seems so normal. There hasn’t been a single hint as to what happened to me, but then again, I can’t expect the answer to just pop up. At least, until it…. does.

Or maybe it never will. Maybe they’ll stop beforehand. Maybe they’ll just end without any real end. You know, just cut to black. Poof. Bye bye.

Like I said. It scares me, not knowing how they’ll end. Though I’m almost hoping they will end, and soon. The pain is bloody unbearable nowadays, and I can’t let myself break down. Not with what’s happened. Not with Lyra still in mourning. If I can’t be strong then Lyra wont be able to either, and I’m really trying hard to get her stable again.

I know she asked me to go to her whenever I had these memories, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Luckily Colgate’s had Lyra over at her house on more than a few occasions. At least twice a week, so I have some moments where I’m alone, where she cant catch me spazzing out and almost dying.

So I haven’t had to speak to her about anything yet. They’re just normal, daily situations. Me at work, watching my kids’ play sports, having dinner. I know why she wants me to talk. I know why I should talk. But knowing what to do is pretty different to actually doing it.

So for now, I’m quiet. Keeping my mouth zipped, and my arms open. Lyra’s still in need of support, so that’s what I’ll give her, even if it breaks me.

August 19th, 2015
It’s been a while since I wrote down anything. I guess I’ve just been a bit busy, taking care of the house and Lyra. And myself. Plus there’s not really much to write about. It’s all been pretty normal, considering the circumstances.

Flashbacks are still a, um, occurrence, shall we say. And they still are a massive pain in the ass. I guess my request for them to end soon was a bit too hopeful, cause they certainly didn’t stop. Didn’t even let up.

Fuck it’s hard.

Dealing with everything. Lyra’s okay, but there hasn’t been any significant improvements in her mental state. She’s sleeping fine and eating normally, and she can get out and around town, but I still don’t know just how healthy she is up there. It hurts, having to watch her like this. The usually bouncy, energetic mare that she once was, now completely gone. There’s no spark, no energy.

She smiles and laughs, but we all smile and laugh. She hums and dances, but we all hum and dance. She’s okay, but we’re all okay. I wish she was more. She’s lost her individuality, her personality. I’m not giving up because she’s not herself anymore, and I want to bring her back. And that only makes me more determined to take care of her.

I took her down to the park with Derpy and Trixie yesterday. We chucked around a frisbee, had some lunch. It was nice, and she seemed to like it quite a lot. I was aware that it may have sparked some sad memories for her, so I took her to a different field than the one we went to a year back. Overall though, I’d say it was a success.

Now all we need is a couple of miracles.

Author's Note:

Chapter's shorter than I would have hoped, cause I ran out of steam, but I've got it done and I know my plan for the next two. I'll try and have them out ASAP