Seems like there are a few chronological errors. I don't think that Pip was called the lightbringer until after unity was destroyed. Also, shouldn't he level up? At the very least, killing all those slavers would be worth a level. Good story so far. Can't wait to learn more about the mutant alicorn.
903385 theres actually a reason for no level up dude, the chapter ran way longer than i expected to rather than bore people with a 25k chapter im breaking it into 2. there will be alot more about little silver skies and her obvious crush on Orion, that the kids too slow to notice lol. Next chapter will be up alot sooner i promise.
I liked the older formatting more to be honest. But that aside, I have grown a certain likeness to this story. I'm not sure what but I do though personally its the whole: clue-less factor. That and this is pretty cool in general. So you know what I;m going to do? YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO???? Im going to follow it for future chapters. Because I like this story, it has grown on me.
(P.S. Earlier you said you enjoyed Brotherhood, um if you want to be updated on future chapters a fav would be nice. :3 )
Brb need to read.
good chapter
incase anypony is wondering, this is what silver skies looks like.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/193/f/f/filly_alicorn___silver_skies_by_cobbzero-d56yfhw.png
Seems like there are a few chronological errors. I don't think that Pip was called the lightbringer until after unity was destroyed.
Also, shouldn't he level up? At the very least, killing all those slavers would be worth a level.
Good story so far. Can't wait to learn more about the mutant alicorn.
903385 theres actually a reason for no level up dude, the chapter ran way longer than i expected to rather than bore people with a 25k chapter im breaking it into 2.
there will be alot more about little silver skies and her obvious crush on Orion, that the kids too slow to notice lol.
Next chapter will be up alot sooner i promise.
great so far... after my summer camp at catilina i hope therel be another chapter... things are getting interesting!
Strongly suggest you put the illustrations in-line in the story for maximum awesome.
I liked the older formatting more to be honest. But that aside, I have grown a certain likeness to this story. I'm not sure what but I do though personally its the whole: clue-less factor. That and this is pretty cool in general. So you know what I;m going to do? YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO DO???? Im going to follow it for future chapters. Because I like this story, it has grown on me.
(P.S. Earlier you said you enjoyed Brotherhood, um if you want to be updated on future chapters a fav would be nice. :3 )
should be "showing off my aerial tricks"
alicorns (the apostrophe makes it possessive)
He's (short for He is)
leave you, Orion
shook off the remains