What a day. Sunset thought to herself, as she examined the surrounding area. Compared to what she had done, the portals Twilight created didn't do much damage. The only thing that really got destroyed was the statue in front of Canterlot High.
That's gonna cost a pretty penny.
"Hey! I need some help over here!" Sunset recognized Flash Sentry's voice and ran over to him. Her friends, her school principals, the dean of crystal prep and a few others did the same. They found the boy next to one of the rostrums, kneeling down beside an unconscious girl. The girl had black hair, a little longer than Sunset's and quite messy at the moment, looked a little skinny, had some white with a little red (it looked weird) skin color? Like a pony, when their fur is completely shaved off.
The girl wore a brown trench coat, buttons closed, over a black pullover with hood, which was odd, considering it was spring. Else she wore regular jeans and black boots and had a bag with her. And she was bleeding from a head injury!!
"She must have hit her head." Sunset initially said. "We better get her to the school nurse."
"Yeah, you're right." Flash nodded and picked her up.
Wow, she's just as light as she looks. Flash thought to himself, as he hurried to the main building. The others followed him as quickly as possible, except for Fluttershy, who took it upon herself to carry the bag with her.
"Oh my, this is heavy." the timid girl breathed out.
Nurse Redheart worked at the hospital in Canterlot City, before she needed to change jobs, because of the birth of her daughter. Having experience with various forms of head injuries, she knew that most of them looked worse than they actually are. But the fact that this girl lost consciousness was worrisome to say the least.
"We should better call for an ambulance, just to be on the safe side." the school nurse explained, already holding the phone in her hand. "Do we know who she is?"
Celestia shook her head. "She doesn't belong to neither Crystal Prep or our school."
"Hmm" the nurse checked the pockets of the girl, which she had a lot, because of the trench coat she was wearing, but didn't find anything.
"In any event, I will call an ambulance. I did what I could", which was cleaning up the blood and bandaging the girl's head "but I don't want her to end up having brain damage."
"Alright." Celestia nodded. "I'll go outside and tell the students. Maybe one of them know the her from somewhere?"
The school principal stepped outside, while the nurse already started talking with the night shift of the emergency number. Celestia found the Rainbooms, her niece, her sister, Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle standing in the hallway.
"And?" Sunset asked.
"Nurse Redheart did what she could, but she's calling an ambulance, just to be on the safe side. Do any of you happen to know who she is?"
Everyone shook their heads.
"Um..."Fluttershy carefully raised her hand.
"Yes, what is it?" Celestia asked.
Fluttershy pointed at the bag she had been carrying. "This was hers, was it not? Maybe she has a purse or something else in there."
"Now wait a minute, sugercube. That would be invading her privacy."
"Considering the circumstances, I think we can make an exception." Dean Cadance said.
"Neeto!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, grabbing the bag and looking at it like an early Christmas gift. Applejack quickly took the back over, giving her party maniacal friend a stern look.
"Now let's trah ta be discreet 'bout this." the farm girl said, slowly opening the bag, only a small bit. Carefully putting her hand in, she grabbed the next best thing inside and pulled it out: a scribbling block.
"Well, that was a dud." Rainbow commented.
"Let's look inside!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, taking it away from her friend.
"Pinkie!" But the girl wasn't listening and already looking through a few pages.
"Story ideas:" she read. "Time travel; slightly overdone. Alternate mother? Completely overdone. Huh? Sunlight clop-"
Vice-Principal Luna snatched the thing away, before Pinkie Pie could read any further. The blue woman gave her student her infamous death glare, causing the pink girl to quickly hide behind Sunset Shimmer. Unfazed by all of this, Applejack moved on. Since the bag was so stuffed, she couldn't actively look for a purse or something like this. So the next thing that came out was a portable playing console.
"Huh, maybe she's traveling somewhere and had this for a train ride or something?" Sunset speculated.
"It would explain why she's carrying this rather big backpack with her." Rarity thought, tapping her chin.
Placing the thing away, Applejack wanted to take next best thing out, but Rainbow took the bag away.
"You're far too slow." the rainbow haired girl said and already picked up the next thing: a crumpled newspaper article. By further inspection, Rainbow noticed that it was the job offer section. One of the jobs was circled with a red marker.
"Looking for a job. A cashier job? Really?" Rainbow questioned. "Those are the lamest."
"Well she appears to be around high school age." Principal Celestia pointed out.
Tossing the paper aside, Rainbow grabbed the next thing: an apple. She tossed it over to Applejack without a comment and proceeded.
"Really Rainbow?"
Ignoring the farmer, the sport's captain took out...a t-shirt? Pinkie sniffed on it and reported. "Smells like she just bought it." the party girl muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.
"I think we should put-" Luna didn't get any further as Pinkie Pie opened the t-shirt, revealing a lavender unicorn/pony head on it, clapping the fronthooves together, with a lavender writing under the picture, saying: "I did science!"
"That's kind of cute." Rarity commented. The fashionista couldn't help but smile at the simple adorable looking unicorn. "What do you think as a former unicorn, Sunset?"
Everyone turned towards her, only to find her frozen in place.
"Wait, YOU'RE A UNICORN?!" Twilight exclaimed.
"Hey, look Twilight! This pony here has the same hairstyle like you!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, holding the t-shirt up high.
The others turned around again and indeed. It was the same color, the same pink streak, it was just flat. To proof her point further, Pinkie Pie undid the bun on Twilight's head.
"That's some freaky coincidence." Cadance stated.
"That's...." Sunset began, but stopped.
"What is it, Sunset?" Celestia asked, growing worried.
"That's exactly how the Twilight from MY world looks like."
"WAIT WHAT?!"
"There's another Twilight out there?!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. "A unicorn?!"
"Twilight really looks this cute?!"
Awkward silence fell upon everyone, as they turned around and stared at Fluttershy. Realizing her own, very loud words, Fluttershy let out an "eep!" and quickly hid herself inside a locker.
All restrains forgotten, Rainbow Dash took out another shirt, with a strange face of princess Celestia on the back. The text this time said: "Trollestia was here."
That got a good laugh out of Vice-Principal Luna, who literally fell to the ground, having trouble breathing.
"O-okay!" Celestia stuttered, grabbing the t-shirt and hiding it behind her back. "I think this is enough!" she exclaimed, her face tomato red. The rest barely suppressed the laughter that wanted so desperately to get out of the mouths of the others. Rainbow lost the battle with her inner strength and dropped to the ground. The bag-pack landed next to her, another item falling out of it.
This one was a DVD box. A very colorful DVD box. A very colorful DVD box with pastel colored ponies on it.
A very colorful DVD- arrgh screw it! The title on the box said: "My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic! Season 1.
Well this story looks like fun.
6494599 I had to write SOMETHING about the new movie and all I managed was yet another HiE!
I feel so ashamed of myself!!!!!!
6494611 I love the t-shirts that were pulled
6494616 I got the idea, since I'm going to order myself some t-shirts tomorrow by a local store.
6494620 Now I can't wait to see their reaction the the DVD box set
Good idea but i dont understand need for immediate shipping this could be so much more interesting story without it
6494679 It's not like she's going to fall in love immediately, that would be just cheesy. I guess I could have waited with the romance tag, but I wanted it to be there for the start. I guess I hoped it would attract more people. I'll just have to wait and see.
6494690 Well it definetly discouraged me, romance should be deserved othervise you write clop fic.
6494718 Could you....elaborate a little on what exactly you mean with deserved? I don'treally get that part.
6494736 Well romance should grown over multiple chapter slowly as character know each other better and starting find feeling for each other. But one of the highlights of your story that someone end up with you character. Perhaps sharing hardship together.
And i eat my hat if it isnt Sunset or Twilight.
So forgive my doubts if think this will end up in some hot steamy romance very soon = clop fic. Which just mask itself for something else.
3 from your 6 stories have sex tag
The story is looking pretty good so far. It's caught my interest so far. Like Lukas I'm hoping the story doesn't just rush into the relationship part and explores some other plot points, but I'm really interested to see how this turns out, particularly with the box set of season one.
6494769 No, no rush. Actually the romance tag might be way too early, but it's staying now. I got some plans for this story, don't worry. This chapter is so short, because I wanted this thing out of my head, so I could focus again on something else. Plus, I was really impatient with this one.
You had my curiosity. Now you have my attention. >:3
6494870 Now I have another stalker.
Well...
This is going to be interesting.
You've also gained a new
fangirlI meanstalkerI MEAN FOLLOWER!Ahem, have a nice day, look forward to the next chapter.
6499554 Gimme till weekend or so. Twivine has priority at the moment.
On the other story, you asked why so many negatives.
Well, starting out - the description is terrible, unclear, and poorly written.
You risk people clicking in just to neg it, without reading.
For those that do click in and read, it sets a high bar that you've got to get past in order to get a +.
I am unsure how many are familiar with the Midnight Sparkle storyline.
On the introduction - speaking personally, I would either nuke the first paragraph, and go straight to 'need some help', or expand it into a page or two going through the setup.
Is she crushing with a female character or what?
a little constructive criticism: instead of
how about: 'Crimson blood trickled down from a gash on her forehead, saturating her bangs.' it sounds fancier.