And Bulk was Never Seen Again

by Jake Witt

Act 1 Part 2: Fire in Ice

"Well, whooptie bucking do!" I shouted, "At least you're not a mare!"

Great! Bucking. Great. Not only can I not keep a mare, but I would have to be a filly fooler to get one! Buck me sideways and- the sudden thought freaked me out, instinctively I grabbed my bag and began to hyperventilate again.

"What in Celestia's name are you two?!" Spike demanded, smoke leaking from his nostrils as he began to be creeped out, and I cant blame him!

Iron and I share a glance before he spoke for the both of us, "Apparently a mini minotaur and a gender bent superhero."

"Um... superhero?" Spike asked, "Like in the comic books before the reign of Nightmare Moon?"

There was a couple of blank stares before the gears began turning. "Reign of Nightmare Moon?!" they both asked, the force tossing Spike to the ground.

"Uh... yeah..." He replied, getting up slowly.

"How is there a "reign of Nightmare Moon" when the mysterious bearers of the elements of harmony returned Luna to her normal form?!" Bulk questioned, her hoof pointed at Spike, who rose an eyebrow as he stood back up.

"Wow. You really are from comic books..." He replied, taking out a scrapbook dubbed "Book of Scars and Nightmares". "Twilight and some new friends from Town-Ponyville trekked into the Everfree Forest months ago to find the elements of harmony."

As soon as Spike showed a picture of himself and Twilight in the middle of mug shots cut from library cards of her friends... but they were weird looking. They still had their pony face and colors, but the rest of them seemed off. They stood on their hind legs with backwards knees that resembled foreleg knees, with hooves inside of shin-high boots. Their barrel looked odd, despite being covered in some sort of cloth all over, they could see that their torso was tall with bulges on top and their front legs were at the sides of their body. At the end of what Spike called "arms" were these claws called "hands" that were used for many things.

Continuing inspection showed that pegasi still had wings and unicorns still had horns while earth ponies had tails... for some reason this world was tail biased. "These don't look like ponies," Saddle Ranger finally said.

"No, YOU don't look like a pony!" Spike retorted, "You two are the weirdest things ever!" Pointing at Iron Will, "He's a tiny pony with a pure bull head-" his claw moved to Bulk, "-and your some mutant bull with a pony head and claim to be a pegasus with a tail! To top that off, you both claim to be long dead people!"

After some on-off arguing, explanations, and clarifications: Spike learned that there two freaks are not of his world. Bulk and Iron on the other hoof gained a serious revelation.

They were in a world where Equestria is in a constant civil war that involved the rest of the world. Since Celestia cant move her sun and Nightmare Moon wont let her move it, the war has been on a stand still where half of the planet is freezing and the other half is burning so bad that dragons, who are needed to absorb heat and send the gathered head to the ice side during dragon migrations.

Within that time, there's an agreement for night-day swapped holidays to prevent self-destruction...somehow. Winter Wrap Up has never been so tedious! There's also vampire ponies, who use those holidays to gather the blood of those unaccustomed to their presence. The civil war returned to a stalemate ever since the treaty of Changeling and the return of the Crystal Empire helped Nightmare Moon out of a jam. Discord returned, but his new vampiric curse has made him a servant of Nightmare Moon, willing to joke around with the "sunny side" since he is the only vampire that sparkles.

The unicorns and few pegasi from Equestria try to block the sun using their magic, but the heat still pour down. Everypony wish that an eastern or western wind would blow, but sometimes when they do get that wish, storms are created...

---

Back at Sweet Apple, the apples sat at their campsite. Survival has been boring so the Cutie Mark Crusaders took it upon themselves to find a fun way to stay warm so they established their club-tent next to Applebloom's tent. Sitting with the apple family, a little orange filly in a cyan coat sat, her hands over their fire.

"I wonder what's keeping Sweetie?" Scootaloo thought aloud, "She never misses a meeting."

"Maybe she caught a cold?" Applebloom replied.

"Or maybe the cold shoulder forgot her place." A third voice piped up. The four ponies turned their heads to the two pairs of glowing blue and purple eyes in the dark. "I mean, not only is she a cold shoulder, but a unicorn warm blood."

"Diamond Tiara..." Scootaloo said between teeth, taking out her rainbow neck spear dubbed 'Wonder Rainbow'. "What are you doing here?"

A pink filly walked into the light, her yellow coat not made for the cold and her wavy purple, white streaked hair uncovered nor frozen. She wore a black shirt underneath her coat, but the blood on it still evident. She gave her usual grin that showed off her fangs, "Funny, that's the third time I heard that question. We're here to sent our trash to the dump." She turned her head, "Spoon."

A grey haired filly wearing glasses with one lens in the frame and her fluffy ears back walked into the light. In her hands, she held her grey pony tail and a trash bag, frowning and wiping the tear ice off her face. "...R-Right Ms. Tiara..." She tossed the bag into the fire, a scream sounding from inside. As the bag burned, Big Mac quickly grabbed a white hand, who belonged to a beaten Sweetie Belle in a potatoe sack.

"Oh, what's wrong? I thought you were freezing?" Diamond said in mock concern before laughing, unsheathing a couple of diamond knives with leather handles. "Anyway, thanks for the gift! I think I will pawn them off for moon stones. Chao!"

Silver Spoon straightened her purple shirt and glasses, waving sadly at the angry ponies and burnt Sweetie Belle, "Sorry..."

Granny pulled her quilt over the shivering filly, "Applebloom, grab yer spare. Big Mac, get the medication box."

"Eeyup!" Mac said, rushing to his tent.

Author's Note:

Note: How come Flim and Flam are not scared of Apple Jack? Simple, Pinkie makes everyone forget how important the Mane 6 are. Its part of Celestia's troll plan.

I want to try something dark to stop thinking about said dark moments.

Comments

[Lycanthromancer]

Rouge fictional heroes? Do they wear makeup?

Or were they caught red-hooved?

[GrandSpear]

Does the mini Minotaur have allergy to tartar sauce?

[LeoneHaxor]

6401761
sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=JN.m5KTBHD7TFEjE1niBLkzKQ&pid=15.1&P=0&w=300&h=300
Croikey! Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a sighting of the very rare Tobuscus Brony. Very few reveal themselves on this site, so this is a once-in a lifetime opportunity to get up close to one in this environment.

[Betoran]

6401838

What da faq! MEIN GOD

My insides hurt!