Good story, but it seems a little bit rushed. With the commander saying "abduct the ponies" then 5 minutes later "release the ponies", It seems . . . choppy and rushed.
659578 Yeah this was the first story I ever wrote for these two universes and the first one I ever posted on the internet, so it is a bit rushed. I'm trying to make additions as I post chapters to flesh it out a little.
660013 If I may make a suggestion? Maybe the Marines who abducted Twilight were going against the order "observe, not interfere". The captain could make a show of berating the troops in front of Celestia when they return.
1LEEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOYYYYY JEEEEEENKIIIIINNNNSSSSS 2 are we that unprofessional in the future 3 I know that callsighn wasnt echo 419 foehammer from Combat Evolved 4 isn't admiral Coles first name Preston?
"Hey sir how do we respond to the communication from a planet we've never heard of in a place that doesn't matter?" "WE SEND THE MARINES! MAKE SURE THERES AN ASSHOLE SARGENT! NO STUPID RESPONSE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT THE ASSHOLE SARGENT!"
Good story, but it seems a little bit rushed. With the commander saying "abduct the ponies" then 5 minutes later "release the ponies", It seems . . . choppy and rushed.
Nice story update?
awsome i love the hal reeerences i bit of a halo fantic myself
659578 Yeah this was the first story I ever wrote for these two universes and the first one I ever posted on the internet, so it is a bit rushed. I'm trying to make additions as I post chapters to flesh it out a little.
660013 If I may make a suggestion? Maybe the Marines who abducted Twilight were going against the order "observe, not interfere". The captain could make a show of berating the troops in front of Celestia when they return.
The humans wouldn't act that way...would they?
When I saw the name Leroy Jenkins I was like, YES just plain yes.
Leroy Jenkins :3
F*** YEAH FOEHAMMER
Anyway nice story love it so far
stupid mobile I would add faces :'(
1LEEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOYYYYY JEEEEEENKIIIIINNNNSSSSS
2 are we that unprofessional in the future
3 I know that callsighn wasnt echo 419 foehammer from Combat Evolved
4 isn't admiral Coles first name Preston?
"Hey sir how do we respond to the communication from a planet we've never heard of in a place that doesn't matter?" "WE SEND THE MARINES! MAKE SURE THERES AN ASSHOLE SARGENT! NO STUPID RESPONSE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT THE ASSHOLE SARGENT!"