Drywall Hill - Chip Out
Drywall Hill - Chip Out
Brenda trotted west through the streets of Stromness, past dwellings of lesser and lesser quality. Dawn had sent her away only minutes after they had arrived back at The Royal Hotel. ‘I need to discuss this with my brothers, Brenda. Please go look for Solstice.’ She was confident that she could have contributed to that discussion, but recognized an order when she got one. Even when it was delivered in as nice a way as possible. Know your place alright. For the second time that day.
She snorted and shook her head. On one ...hoof… she felt she should be upset to be downright assigned a place in a hierarchy like that. She just kinda wasn’t. On the contrary, she almost felt happy about it, even though she had a suspicion which part of her was responsible for that. The one that wanted to know her place, secure below the four brothers and mum.
Here on the outskirts of their little town, many of the houses were missing the upper floor. Solstice’s team had removed the unsalvageable parts of every house to better conserve the rest. The further west she got, the fewer houses were still roofed with tiles as well. Aluminium sheet metal, weighed down with large sandstone slabs, became more and more prevalent. Small bits of debris still littered the street.
A nondescript fjord pony emerged from a building that reminded her of a stable more than of a house. Solid but stripped of almost everything that had made it a human home, including interior walls.
“Hi there!” Brenda hailed the mare. “I’m looking for Solstice Spirit. Any idea where he is?”
The mare that stood a good foot taller than Brenda turned her head, stopped up short and stared. Then she bowed. Not much, but still a bow.
Brenda stared back, dumbfounded.
“Solstice have not see. Try there,” the mare said and pointed to where the former golf course had been, further down the road. The hill to the south of Stromness was just about visible from here.
By now she recognized the strange accent as northern tribal. “Thank you.”
The tribesmare gave another little bow and trotted off.
Brenda looked after her and noticed how the bigger horse seemed to relax as soon as she was a few lengths away. As she turned to the south again, she realized that she’d arched her neck while she’d spoken to the fjord pony. She felt strange. Assuming a casual stance again, she also realized that two other regular horses were watching her from separate doorways. They too gave her small bows when she passed by and greeted them. A filly stuck out her head beside her mother and gaped at her.
The last building at the waterfront had been torn down, with only the foundations remaining. The rubble had been piled up against the seaward side of the last two houses, forming a makeshift barrier against the elements.
She followed the bend in the road up the hill towards the former golf clubhouse. Not much remained of it. From here, the houses along Stromness’ second road were visible. Or what remained of the buildings erected in the seventies of the twentieth century.
The cheaper construction hadn’t weathered the passing of time quite as well as the old stone houses. From a distance, most of them looked like the ones she’d passed earlier. Stables, with rubble piled up around them. The main difference was that many window openings had been blocked as well.
There was a lot more going on than down at the waterfront, with about two dozen horses milling about. They seemed to be hard at work on two of the dilapidated buildings, as well as their anatomy would allow. It struck her that she’d only seen regular horses in this part of Stromness. There were no colourful individuals among them at all.
Before she could dwell on that any further, she spotted an exception. He was pulling a trailer down the road towards her, together with another pony. Even covered in dirt and dust he’d be hard to mistake for anyone else. Solstice Spirit.
She bit her lower lip. When they’d been together last time, it hadn’t ended in the best of ways after all. She hadn’t given that any further thought though, what with everything else going on. You sent me on purpose, Dawn. Didn’t you?
Technically, the little piebald was family now. Brenda closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. “Hey, Solstice Spirit!” she called out against the noise of the approaching trailer.
Solstice looked up from the road, saw her and his ears splayed back. “Can’t stop,” he said in a weary voice when he drew level with her. “Need the momentum.”
The road wasn’t of the same quality as the one leading out of Stromness to the north-east. It had a lot of cracks and dents, clearly not intended for urgent transports. Judging by the amount of visible tracks, pieces of debris and deep hoofprints, it was still used a lot with heavy loads.
The trailer Solstice and his coworker were pulling was loaded with crumbling masonry, mouldy fake wood panelling and dripping wet Rockwool. A little further on, the road turned into a hard packed path, leading onto the grounds of the former golf course on a soft incline. Both of them leaned into the weight, straining and hooves digging into the surface.
Brenda looked on with a lump in her throat. Solstice seemed to be doing exactly what she’d have done in a comparable situation. Burying himself in work. The several disasters of that one evening hadn’t been her fault. Nevertheless, she still felt bad about it.
“Dammit! Who loaded this?!” Solstice bit out, panting.
His partner snapped something in Whinny.
“Good job, you!” Solstice gave back and added something that sounded like a nickered curse. “Not a chance. But it’s you who gets to unload half of it and stick your muzzle into that insulation again.”
Brenda’s ears perked. “Wait!” she called out. “Let me help.”
Solstice sighed with a sour expression. “Look, Brenda. It’s of no use. That thing’s going to dig too deep into the surface. Way too heavy on the back axle. Expertly loaded.” He gave his partner an irritated look. Another deep sigh. “And I’ll talk to you as soon as we’re done, if it’s that what you’re worried about.”
She felt her ears droop again. “It’s not like that,” she said in a subdued voice. “Just let me try, okay?”
He shrugged, making the towing chains rattle. “Oh alright then. A wasted minute more or less doesn’t really matter.”
She nodded and went to put her forehead against the back end of the trailer. With the others pulling, it didn’t take more than a bit of effort and she didn’t even have to strain much. The trailer jerked forward. The rims on the overloaded back axle didn’t dig in, as if the surface was still firm asphalt and gravel and not only dirt. Neither did her hooves. It looked and felt… strange.
About two hundred yards further uphill, Solstice called out to stop. “Thanks Brenda,” he said when she came walking around the trailer. “Hadn’t thought you to be that strong. Let’s unload and call it a day.” He and his partner shunted the trailer and he began to unhitch himself. “Team’s done more than enough today,” he said with some pride in his voice.
Brenda nodded absentmindedly while looking around in astonishment. They were standing in what could only be described as a rubbish tip. The hillside was covered in decomposing structural boards, rotting wood panelling, wet carpets, decaying floorboards and brittle window frames. There were mounds of insulation with vapour seal flapping in the wind. Patches of cracked and crumbling masonry. And soggy drywall, everywhere.
Thistles sprouted between broken roof tiles. On the older parts of the dump, a blanket of purple willowherb swayed in the breeze. A narrow band of rushes marked the position of a half buried old water hazard of the golf course. Most of the area downward from the dump was a brown wasteland though, with all but the hardiest plants killed off by seepage.
“Behold Drywall Hill,” Solstice remarked with a smirk as he went around the trailer. “Our most beautiful landmark,” he said and made a sweeping gesture with a hoof. “We strip the buildings of everything that’s rotten or can hold water. Can’t prevent further decay any other way. Lend me a hoof?” On both sides of the trailer a rope was dangling out of the back. He picked one of them up with his teeth.
She gave the dusty rope a suspicious look.
“‘ome on!”
When she bit down on it, the bitter dryness of gypsum dust filled her mouth, together with a faint taste of mildew. She almost retched.
Solstice chuckled and pulled.
The load moved, dragged down from the trailer by a thick plank that had been positioned at the front before loading. The debris clattered to the ground in a cloud of dust. It covered her forelegs up to her knees, as she hadn’t thought to step sideways when she pulled. She extracted herself while trying to spit out the foul taste.
He grinned at her. “Hey, I could use someone like you. Interested?”
“Not-” She coughed. “Not really.” She shook her head in disgust. “How can you stand it?”
“You get used to it.” He shrugged. “And someone has to do it. We need houses and I seem to be good at motivating people to do it.” He chuckled. “What? Don’t look at me like that. I’ve got be good at something!”
He scratched himself behind an ear, leaving green stripes in the dusty fur. “Nowadays we’re down to stripping almost everything from the houses that are in any way still salvageable.”
He sighed. “The results aren’t exactly comfortable, I know. And we usually have to block up a window or two as well, but they’re still the best shelter from the wind and rain you can get. Need to snuggle up some in winter though. No good way to heat them if you don’t want to stand in the smoke.”
Brenda frowned. “Is that why there are only normal horses here?”
“Normal horses?” He cocked his head. “What do you mean?”
“Uhm… I mean, like, not like us.”
He narrowed his eyes at her.
“Wait, that came out wrong. I’m not saying we’re better! What I meant is that they don’t have our dexterity and none of them have any weird colours like you or me.”
He blinked and looked down at his chest and legs. “Uhm… it’s ordinary white, brown and green?” He looked up again with a puzzled expression. “What’s weird about that?”
She gave a helpless laugh. “That-” she broke off and shook her head. “Nothing, I guess. It’s just that horses didn’t have other colours than mixes of white, rusty orange and black.” She pointed towards the town. “Like those.”
He cocked his head. “Hm. What’s that got to do with the houses then?”
She closed her eyes for a brief moment. “Mum tell you I had a horse? Yeah?” A relieved sigh. “Okay. These buildings here really look like stables, like the one I had my Freja in.” She put a hoof to the bridge of her muzzle. “Sorry, I know that’s weird to you. It’s beginning to sound weird to me! Seeing, like, persons living in something like that makes me feel strange. That’s all.”
“Ah, okay.” He nodded and relaxed. “Well. They’re all from the tribes up north and they don’t mind. Luxury to them, they’ve never had any kind of roof over their heads before. Wouldn’t be my thing, but what can you do? Don’t think dad ever thought the town would grow that big. Might have cleared more houses then.”
He shrugged. “Reminds me that my friend here doesn’t understand half of what we’re saying. Bit rude.” He turned his head and nickered to his companion who was still standing in front of the trailer. He pointed a hoof towards town. “Good job. Enough for today.”
“Thank you, Sol. See to morrow,” the stallion replied and unhitched himself. With a smile he trotted off.
“He’s making some serious effort, that one,” Solstice commented with a fond smile. “Pronouncing the words is hard for them. He’s good.”
“What’s his name?”
Solstice gave her a lopsided smile and responded with three short whinnies of different modulation.
Brenda blinked and then sighed. “I’m really going to have to learn this, no? What’s it mean?”
“Difficult to translate, but I guess summer-sun-over-cottongrass comes close. Somewhat descriptive of his coat, I guess. And impossible to use in a conversation in English anyway.” He swished his tail. “New Whinny is still not exactly easy for me. At least the northern variety is a lot simpler than the southern.” He turned away to look out over the sea. “If it weren’t for Buidhe, I’d still be relying on gestures and two-word sentences for that one.”
She chewed the inside of her cheek. A deep breath. “Uhm. About that…”
Solstice tensed, his ears folding back halfway. There was an awkward pause. After a few moments he exhaled and gave a resigned shrug. “Yeah. Thought that’s what you’re here for.”
“I’m…” You don’t need to apologize! “Dawn told me to go look for you.”
“What does he need?”
She winced at the dejected tone. “Look. We explored Kirkwall and found others like me. All dead. Dawn thinks there will be more and wants to rescue them, but we need more people.”
Solstice turned around and lifted his eyebrows. “‘We’?”
“I- what?” She stared at him. “Do you have to-” Ah, what the hell. “Look. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to play you against Dawn. I was kinda desperate, you know?” When no answer came forth she added, “You tell me what I should’ve done instead.”
Silence.
She stomped a hoof. “There. I’m sorry. I apologized. Okay? All this wasn’t exactly my fault! I didn’t go like ‘Hey, let’s turn into a strange horse a hundred years after the apocalypse.’ How about you listen to what I’ve got to say? I’ll leave you alone then.”
He sighed and hung his head, ears drooping. “Yeah, yeah. I’m being the idiot as usual. And I’m sorry I tried to weasel out of it like I did.” He looked away again. “Just glad that Buidhe wasn’t there to see that.” With another sigh he closed his eyes. “Dammit.”
“All I wanted to say is that Dawn really, really needs you to tell him everything you know about the South Ronaldsays. Like, everything. He’s got no idea what he can offer them to get them to help us. Him. Or what the whole you and Buidhe thing means for us. He wants patrols in Kirkwall, maybe even an outpost there.”
Solstice looked up. “That’s a lot to ask for in a first meeting.”
“I’ve told him it’s stupid. Okay, not in so many words, but… anyway. That’s what he wants to negotiate for and he needs you. He’s having a palaver with Moorland and Harvest.”
“Alright, alright. I’m coming,” he said in a tired voice. “Those two are guaranteed to screw this up.”
“Maybe you should wash first?”
“I’ll finish the day with that. They’ll just have to live with it.” He shook himself off, creating a sizeable dust cloud. “There. Satisfied?”
They started to walk back the path into town in silence, Solstice looking more sullen with every step. Realizing that she’d come to care for the little piebald, she sighed and stopped, turning her head.
“Hey,” she began in a soft voice, “You’re really smitten with her, aren’t you?”
He gave her a long look but finally nodded with a sigh. “She’s the best thing that could ever happen to me. She’s strong, smart, brave and beautiful. And funny.” He shook his head. “And she asked me. Can you believe it? Of course I said yes! Who wouldn’t?” After a little pause, Solstice covered his muzzle with his fetlocks and groaned.
“What-” she began.
“Brenda, I know that your problems are far more serious than mine… but I’m in way over my head here.” He looked away. “Haven’t got a clue what I should do next. I just want to be with her.”
What was she supposed to say to that? Oh god, don’t ask me for relationship advice. And definitely not for people on four hooves. Anything she said on the topic would most likely turn out stupid anyway. She went for a clumsy nuzzle instead and got a brief smile out of him in return. Maybe she could get the hang of this.
“You know, Buidhe tried not to talk about it,” he began. “Ruadh, her brother, well… I think he enjoyed forcing her to fill in the details she left out. But, you know, he’s right. I had no clue and she didn’t think anything through. Anything at all. Stupid offer. Stupid me for not asking.”
“Wait. What are you talking about? What offer?”
He gave a humourless chuckle. “Hold out your right leg and angle your fetlock, so that the hoof points back to yourself. Yep. Now offer it to me.”
She looked at him in bewilderment and held out her hoof. He gave her a tired look and hooked his own hoof over hers. It almost felt like a handshake.
“Uh… friends?” she asked.
“Heh. That’s what I thought. Spéis. In case any Ronaldsays are watching, they can report home that I just dumped Buidhe and accepted your offer of affection. We’re mates now and both you and I have lost all honour.”
“The hell?!” Brenda retracted her hoof in a hurry.
“It gets better. Mare always offers first. No exceptions. If the stallion rejects her, he’ll have humiliated her real bad. If she’s a high ranking mare, she’s now also lost quite a bit of standing and influence as well. He as well, if he’s got a high rank, but that’s not all that important. As a guy, he wouldn’t have had that much to say in the first place. At least he’s made himself attractive for all the mares in the middle ground who otherwise wouldn’t have the nerve to ask someone from higher up.
If she’s high up and he’s of low rank… well, he’s a bloody idiot and he’s made sure no mare is ever going to ask him again. And his family is going to hate him, since they could have risen in standing. Well, actually they’ll hate him regardless. He’s put his poor upbringing on display for everyone after all.”
Brenda cleared her throat. “Okay…” She shook her head. “Anyway. So she offered and you accepted?”
“Yeah, well… I accepted and kinda rejected her a little later, disaster, then we found out that none of us knew what we were talking about. You have to know what you’re doing to have a shot at being willfully stupid after all.” He scuffed a hoof on the ground. “So we did that little ritual again.”
“And what does that mean for you and her now?”
“Ruadh said that we don’t need to worry about rank and standing. Apparently, being the chieftain’s niece and Dawn’s brother is going to be about the same when it comes to that. Don’t know if Dawn talked to Buidhe about that back then, like, make sure he’d be taken seriously when he sent me.” He kicked a stone down the road. “Fat load of good that did.”
Brenda cocked her head. “Hey, that doesn’t sound all that terrible to me.”
He sighed, giving her a long look. “She’s probably already told Faoileag and he’ll have had a fit.”
“Heh. ‘Don’t touch my niece’ syndrome?” She gave a lopsided grin.
He scowled at her. “I have to join her family now or I might just as well have rejected her in front of everybody. Means his family.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. ‘Oh’. And she’s bringing a complete stranger into the herd who’ll be one of the highest ranking stallions.”
“But aren’t you that here as well?”
He huffed. “As if that was so terribly important ‘round here. You’re also way up, in case you haven’t realized.”
“But…” She lifted a hoof to her muzzle.
“The bold Marked One, defender of the ancient city,” he intoned.
She blinked. “What?”
“I was told you made a whole pack of dogs turn tail and run on your trip to Kirkwall. All on your own.” He pointed a hoof at the nearest houses and smirked. “One of my guys was with you. The title sounds a lot better in Whinny, but that’s what you’re going by around this part of town.”
Shit.
When she didn’t reply, Solstice gave her a lopsided smile that didn’t hold much amusement. With a sigh he turned his head and looked out over the bay, scratching himself behind an ear. “Not sure I want to know what title I’ll get. Might have ‘short’ in it. Good thing my Ronaldsay Whinny won’t be good enough to get the meaning quite a while yet.” He swished his tail, producing a little dust cloud. “Add ‘thick’ as well then.”
She took a deep breath and cleared her throat, trying to focus. “Okay, whatever. Can’t she just move here then?”
“Sure, as long as she doesn’t mind giving up her rank and standing with them. Faoileag is going to love it.”
The Ronaldsay chieftain was already getting on her nerves. “So what?”
“Heh.” Solstice shook his head with a snort. “His niece runs off with a stranger and joins a strange tribe and he had no idea it was about to happen. So he can’t even keep his own family together.”
“Okay, I can see that,” she admitted.
“He also still needs a leading mare, ‘cause that’s how things are down there. He’s sole leader by accident. Long story. Now he’ll be seen as being unfit to lead on his own. Just like everyone expected of course.”
Equine sciences hadn’t covered politics and anthropology, something that seemed like a severe oversight now. Covered equine behaviour though, you thick mare. “So… nobody’s going to make that, uhm, offer to him after that I guess. All now waiting for a challenger who’s already got a mare and see how it plays out. Like that?”
“Pretty much.”
Sabotaged by Dawn’s emissary on first contact. She closed her eyes and put a hoof to her forehead. Somehow, the soap opera wasn’t all that funny anymore. She took a deep breath and looked up at a miserable Solstice. “Well. Shall- shall we head back?”
“Yeah. I guess.”
Brenda turned toward the town. Dammit. She turned back again, walked the two steps to Solstice and hugged him.
He stiffened for a moment. Then, with a shaky sigh, he returned the hug and buried his face in her mane. “Thanks, Brenda,” he mumbled.
When they entered the Royal Hotel, she could hear muted voices from the first floor. She looked back over her shoulder. “You know how many times I almost fell down the stairs here?”
Solstice cocked his head. “Uhm… why?”
“Because these were built for people with two feet? You have no idea how difficult it is to climb stairs on four hooves when you’re new to the whole quadruped thing.”
“Huh.” He bit his lower lip and scratched himself behind an ear. “Never thought about that. Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “Just catch me when I get my legs tangled up.” She climbed the stairs with slow and deliberate movements, pausing when she reached the ruined door to Dawn’s study. She knocked on the door frame, not wanting to be the one who made the door finally fall off its hinges.
The conversation stopped. “Come in,” Dawn called out.
Dawn and Harvest were sitting in the middle of the room while Moorland was behind the desk, a pencil between his teeth. He put it down, one end sticking out over the edge of the desk. “Hello there,” he said and cast a disapproving look at her companion.
“Deal with it, Moor,” Solstice said. “Washing this stuff out takes some time. Work makes dirty, you know.”
“Ahem,” Dawn interjected before turning to her. “Thanks for retrieving my brother, Brenda. Then he walked over to Solstice and, after a moment of hesitation, nuzzled him on the cheek.
Solstice, tail between his legs, looked up with a little bit of hope in his eyes. He took a deep breath and returned the nuzzle.
Dawn nodded. “Alright then. Brenda? I think mother was looking for you earlier.”
She blinked. “You’re ordering me out?”
Moorland spoke up. “Since you aren’t involved in Stromness’ leadership, it doesn’t concern you. Also, the fewer participants, the quicker consensus.”
“What?!” She turned on him, tail swishing. “We’re talking about humans here! What do you know about that?”
“Not ‘we’. And I have a quite extensive knowledge about the old folk.”
“Brenda,” Dawn began.
She ignored him. “I am human! Was human. You know what I mean! I’m the expert here and I don’t need to read some stupid books or manuals beforehand.”
“Now wait a second,” Moorland began, scowling.
“Stop,” Dawn interrupted him. “Brenda, please. What we need to discuss here is how to negotiate with Faoileag.”
Brenda felt her ear splay back and she broadened her stance. “So what? I told you I’ve studied equine sciences. We’re talking about real horses here! Solstice told me how they are. Looks like they’ve translated most of their original behaviour to-”
“'Real' horses? What do you-”
“Real horses as in not like me!”
“Well y-”
“And you.”
Dawn shut his mouth with an audible click.
An awkward silence followed. After a few moments it was broken by Harvest starting to laugh. “Assertive girl,” he chuckled and gave her a nod. “I say she stays. Need a leading mare, Dawn?”
Dawn and Brenda stared at him.
Solstice tried to suppress a snort with a hoof, producing what sounded like a muffled hiccup instead.
“What?” Harvest continued in an even tone. “Would add a lot to your opening position, what with him having none. And make for a good first impression with his tribe.”
“Very funny,” Dawn said.
“I was being serious,” he replied, his voice turning back to its usual gruffness.
“I- hmpf! We’re not here to discuss something like that!” a flustered Dawn replied. “I know your people love to gossip and spread rumours. Can we please turn to the matter at hoof now?”
Brenda noticed her leader was blushing and rolled her eyes. If they kept this up, this meeting was going to go nowhere. She cleared her throat and turned her head, motioning for Solstice to come forward.
“Your brother has already told me a lot about his… situation. But I guess you should hear it firsthand. Ah- firsthoof, sorry. This is important. And I’m certain I can help you interpret what that means for your approach.” She drew a breath, irritated with herself. For our approach. Instead of saying it out loud though, she just gave an annoyed snort.
Solstice came forward with halting steps. “Uhm… well…” He looked at her for support.
She shook her head. He was not going to weasel out of this a second time!
He took a deep breath. “Okay, the thing with me and Buidhe,” he began.
It became an interesting afternoon.
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The soap opera and the... other soap opera, to be honest, are aligning! The mare from another time and her overwhelmed prince. The princess from another people and her blushing suitor. And so much more politics on Sol's side of the story that we never did get to see. I have to say, the exposition in this chapter was beautifully handled. Didn't feel like you were forcing information to anyone.
Brenda's little slips with the differences between the ponies of Scapa's kin and the islandics is understandable. It's clear she still seems them as sapients (which is more than I can see a lot of people would be able to) but she's still fumbling over... nomenclature and terminology. I did love Sol's confusion about her claims of 'weird colour'.
Sol continues to prove that he's a lot smarter than you would initially give him credit for. Even if he's floundering in water a lot of the time. Go Sol! Even if having Brenda propose to you as an example isn't exactly the wises of moves. I get why, but still...
I'll admit, I was just as surprised as Brenda at the status she has going for her. I suppose her deeds really are the things of legend. We need that in the books as well, the Tales of the Marked One, Defender of the Ancient City, the Speaker of the Ancient Ways.
As awkward (and hilarious) as Harvest's proposition about leading mare is, he does have a good point. It would go far to cement the impact of whatever ideas they are pushing to both communities. Marked One and budding urban legend, winged one and chosen chief... And question: does a leading pair have to be... mated or intended? Buidhe was apparently the leading mare and she was a niece so...
7991912 I'm really happy you think that the exposition worked, I put a lot of effort into the politics and the delivery.
You raise an interesting point with Brenda seeing the horses as sapients and that that wouldn't necessarily be a given. By chance and necessity they're also already concentrated in the 'stable-part' of town. Can see where this is going... and Brenda probably could as well.
Sol is still great fun to write.
Missed soap opera opportunity: Buidhe enters the scene at that precise moment.
Tales of the Marked One. Defender of the Ancient City. Speaker of the Ancient Ways.
I want that trilogy. In hardcover, gilded pages.
But yeah, she looks battle hardened, she got away from thirty dogs and killed ten of them, she charged the roaming pack and made them flee all on her own and she also broke open the door to the cathedral singlehoofedly. And Solstice's guy got to touch her in the process. Of course she has standing!
Right. Leading pair has to be mated. No open relationships here, this is about traditions. I know it's been a loooong time since the Buidhe-chapters, but she was never leading mare. Her mother was, but that mare messed up the succession, in the end landing Faoileag in the position he's in. Scapa wasn't the only one with communication issues I guess.
Thanks for the elaborate comment, you're the best! I'm already tweaking the next chapter. :b
7992172 For some reason I hear that word 'tradition' in the same tone and infliction Principal Cinch says 'reputation'... Sorry for getting Buidhe's status wrong though. Still, everyone ships BrenDawn. They are adorable together! And they do get along decently well. I know we talked earlier about how complementary their personalities were in some ways.
As for elaborate comments, ReadingSins is fun but takes WAY too much effort, and Life Commenting sometimes detracts from the reading, so Decent Chunky Review and Reflection (DCRR?) is the way to go. It helps that your chapters have substance to them, not just banter and dialogue and empty air. And your worldbuilding continues to be top-bar.
Also, to tease you more:
Tales of the Marked One
It's a new world when Brenda was thrown both ahead in time and into a new body, all as a result of the well meaning attempts to save a species from being totally wiped out. Still, destiny has more in mind for Brenda that simply finding a new normal. Already settled into a place of some power, and with the prestige and responsibility her mark gives her in society, Brenda's story will be anything but normal. With the tensions rising between the ponies and horses, she might be the thing that makes or breaks the world as they knew it.
Defender of the Ancient City
The herds of the Northland has grown strong and prosperous. Brenda has come a long way from the lost mare that opened her eyes to a lonely street. The time as finally come to attain a dream that always seemed out of hoof's reach. As the herds prosper, and eyes are cast to the distant shore, new dangers arise from the depths. Brenda is forced to reassess one of her first earned titles. What secrets lay hidden in the ancient city she too her first unsteady hoofsteps in? And will she be able to save her new home and people? Will she stand once and for all as the Defender of the Ancient City?
Speaker of the Ancient Ways
Hardships and challenges only make one strong and temper the spirit. The Northland has been tempered. Brenda, with Dawn and their family at her side, now face the winds of change. The herds of the Northland are ready to become more than they ever where, perhaps even as much as the dreams of the First Chief hoped for. But Brenda holds key. With a hoof in the world that was, and the one that it became, can she lead her herd into a bright future? Can she keep them from making the same mistakes as those before them did? One moves forward best after learning from the lessons of the past...
You have to know what you’re doing to have a shot at being willfully stupid after all.
The best one liner so far
7992515. The trilogy definitely had potential. More pleasr
Aha, so the horses can see how badass Brenda is right away! They are smarter than they let on.
Shipper on deck! Everyone to the lifeboats!
Now that she mentioned it, Brenda does have an unfair advantage over pretty much anyone on the islands. They had evolved to their customs and traditions, so they never question them or even think about them, and she knows the real source. Humans use that knowledge to manipulate their pets for thousands of years.
So, the question is... how long before she's declared a deity?
7993348 The thing about the cultural advantage is an interesting thought for sure, and I know just the place for it to come up in the next chapter. It's touched upon every time she talks or thinks about equine sciences after all.
Told ya she's an alicorn.
7992604 Achievement unlocked!
7992515 I was fully aware that I was about to go full throttle on that ferry.
DCRR. I like it. Leads to AFWF (Author feeling warm and fuzzy). You're too kind.
And... damn. That trilogy. I want it! I'd read the hell out of that. Were I a productive writer like Star, I'd write it.
So. Much. Potential.
This could be a publishable fantasy novel if you removed or found a way around the most glaring MLP references (of which there aren't that many, come to think of it). The mark thing isn't that difficult actually, and the rest... pretty easy. Hm. And it'd have a readership of maybe five people. :b But who cares.
Hey. I read this story for two days, as time allowed. A very interesting idea is a society that lives in isolation. Complex relationships. I really liked the way the characters unfolded. Each of them has his own vision of the situation.
I also had a feeling, according to the last chapters, that their winged ancestor had deliberately not bothered with saving other arrivals. To remain the only survivor after the man.
Do you have references for you Nortland s caracters?
8023676 Dawn is the one on the cover art. Solstice Spirit pretty much looks like the righthand guy in this picture
https://68.media.tumblr.com/3358a198793ca976351c0afad0fbfc0b/tumblr_omp66jaZiT1uc5x4qo1_500.jpg
minus the wings, of course. His colours are described in detail in 'Dear Wanderer' part one. The brothers all look like mixes of the two character studies, more on the 'horse' side with Harvest being quite bulky, Moorland elegant and Solstice all over the place.
For the rest I can only give you descriptions, I'm afraid. Brenda is a real Equestrian pony, as was Old Scapa. Springtide looks like a small fjord pony.
8023789 I hope you will not be offended if I suddenly draw one of them, and it will not be exactly? )
8024090 Terribly!
There are colour descriptions in the story... but feel free to message me if you should be hit by inspiration. :b
Will your characters ever attempt to find a crystal radio receiver? After all, a crystal radio receiver needs “no other power source but that received solely from the power of radio waves received by a wire antenna.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystal_radio
8043351 Unlikely, given that none of them know about them. There also aren't any transmitters nearby with sufficient output to be picked up with a passive receiver.
How would you define your story in one sentence?
J. R. R. Tolkien described The Lord of the Rings as a conflict between good vs. evil. Wendy and Richard Pini described Elfquest as a conflict between ignorance vs. knowledge. Lauren Faust described My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic with this statement:"There's more than one way to be a girl". So, how would you define your story in one sentence?
How would I sum up your story in one sentence? “This is a story of discovering hidden abilities within you, while finding knowledge long lost to the island pony tribes.”
8058960 Hm... a fairly deep question. If put this way, it's not a question about the plot about buried knowledge. Of course now I'm wondering if you ask this because you can't see the point of even writing my story or if you found it sufficiently stimulating to ponder some philosophical implications. Here's my attempt at this:
'Northland' is a story about coming of age and perseverance in the face of whatever life may throw at you.