Twilight Sparkle halted suddenly, as her gallop down the hallway leading to her dining hall was brought to an abrupt stop. Discord blocked her path, and after having listened to his offer, she could not believe her ears. Why she did not just teleport into the dining room, Twilight was unsure of. Perhaps she just hadn't fully woken up yet.
"Excuse me? Are you up to something? What have you been doing while I was asleep?" She yammered, still panting after her panicked sprint.
"Slow down, slow down, Twilight. That's a few too many questions for me to answer all at once, don't you think? I'm innocent; why in Equestria would I meddle with this shiny, new castle I am certain you absolutely adore?"
Sensing that he was lying, and actually had made some changes, Twilight replied,
"One can never tell what will happen with you around, Discord. Plus, what makes you think I would want to spend time with you? I have not forgotten about your recent betrayal, Discord, and it's going to take a lot more than a medallion to gain back the trust I'm not even sure I had for you in the first place!"
For a very brief moment, Twilight thought she could sense something in Discord's eyes. Grief? Remorse? Hurt? She quickly cast the thought from her mind, and took a moment to take in the features of his attire. What was with this getup? He must be plotting something, trying to make a fool out of her, mocking her as he does to all before him.
"Discord, why are you wearing such an outfit, only for us to mull over a glass of wine?"
"Isn't that obvious, Twilight? Dining with a princess is serious business, after all!" Replied Discord a little nervously, whilst tugging at his collar gently and attempting to hide his face with the edge of his hat.
Discord's current behaviour was very strange, even for him. Twilight's thought process was alert with intense suspicion, her eyes following his every move, like a hawk honing in on it's prey. She was onto him, and she was going to tread with caution from now on. She had to admit, she was quite curious as to how this situation would turn out if she accepted his offer. She knew that whatever Discord had to throw at her, she would be ready.
"Okay, Discord, I'll humour you. I don't have to get back to my books right away, since it doesn't seem as though I was asleep for very long,"
"No, you weren't," whispered Discord, some signs of agitation and disappointment in his voice, "well, you are here now, so let's make the most of our time together!" He exclaimed, with an anxious chuckle, "if you would follow me, please, princess..."
Discord led the way into the dining room, holding the door open for Twilight. When she saw the watery depths below her in the room, she looked back at Discord with a look of anger and disbelief. However, Discord still held his bow outside the door, looking at the floor whilst holding his arm into the room like a signpost. Twilight chose not to comment aloud, and took flight over the water, now taking the time to take in the full view of the room before her.
Discord looked up once she had passed him, and froze in place. He was now eagerly watching her and awaiting her response, with a rapidly intensifying sense of dread. After what felt to Discord like an eternity of waiting, Twilight spoke to Discord without turning to face him,
"Discord... I am quite impressed." Discord's face brightened up with hope at her words, as a smile slowly spread across his face from ear to ear, only to suddenly be shattered by the words that followed, "this is much less severe a change than I thought it was going to be, I was planning on incinerating you if it was too much." Discord laughed heartily at her words, but once again, this was quickly halted when he saw the confused expression on Twilight's face, as she finally turned to face him. With an awkward cough, Discord flew past her and perched on his lily pads, beckoning her over to sit across from him on the other bed of pads.
"Come hither, Twilight, and let us make a toast to your new home!" Discord sang, as he held up his empty glass with his paw.
Without saying a word, Twilight slowly lowered herself onto the lily pads. She took her suddenly full glass in her magical grip, noticing its peculiar design,
"cheese and wine. How original, Discord." Twilight said with a sarcastic, bored tone, attempting to provoke a response from the draconequus. However, he merely offered his glass across the table without a word. Confused by the lack of a response, Twilight raised her glass and clinked it with Discord's, which made a loud beeping noise. Twilight looked around her to identify the source of the noise, however quickly realised that things like that were to be expected, considering the one she was currently in the presence of.
Discord laughed upon seeing this response, and after having gradually filled up his glass as he motioned to tip the initially non-existent contents down his throat, he said,
"Twilight, what am I to you?"
This was a sudden, and very heavy question to ask. At first, Twilight was unsure of how to respond. After she had sipped a little of her wine, she then said,
"I think you already know the answer to that one, Discord." He looked around, avoiding eye contact whilst whistling a tune and pretending he did not hear her answer. He also strummed the same tune on a handful of seaweed he had pulled from the water.
Twilight sighed, and then her face hardened as she turned serious,
"If you want to hear the full answer, I'll be happy to spell it out for you," upon hearing this, Discord halted his activity and chose to change the subject. This is not going how I wanted it to at all, he thought, I was foolish to ask such a question so early on! He quickly changed the subject and attempted to score some points with her. After wiping the sweat forming on his brow, Discord crossed the table, grasped her small, lavender frame in his grip, and brought his face next to Twilight's; motioning around the room with his other arm, he said,
"So, do you like what I have done with the place? All you said earlier was that the lack of severity impressed you, but I want to know what you really think."
Pulling away from him as best she could against his powerful grip, Twilight replied,
"Well, these lily pads are more comfortable than I expected, however I'm not so sure about the new curtains... Oh! Those candles give off quite a romantic fee-" she trailed off, as she looked up towards the wax dripping onto the ceiling. Instantly realising that he had messed up, Discord hurriedly retreated to his side of the table. Feeling severely feverish, he braced for impact. And I was foolish enough to think those patterns were a good idea! He cursed himself.
Keep up the good work! Liking where the story is going.
haha awesome ^^
its not gonna be easy for him i guess haha
Oh, Gosh, I haven't seen Discord so nervous and awkward before and Twilight so..... stone-cold
6368141 Well, it's going to take time for her to warm up to him I guess, I definitely do not want to rush this story, I have plenty planned yet.
Love, Lord Nito
Oh my stars! So sorry I missed this chapter! Got buried in the sea of messages.
[Looks at comments] Why is no one commenting? Sheesh, people! They need to get on it . . .
Soooo, anywho. The chapter, yes.
It was fun, and I like where you're going with the story. Discord is so adorkable in this. [Squeee!] *Ahem*
Though you say you're taking it slow, I find your pacing is a little too fast actually. Not plot pacing, but emotional pacing which I consider to be every bit as important. Rather than setting up the emotions early and building on them, you seem to be introducing new ones each chapter. That's really off-putting to me.
I kind of expect the author to focus on the underlying emotions from the getgo. For instance, Discord's uncertainty with Twi's reaction. You could hint at that a bit more strongly early on to set up for this scene. Same with Twilight. Hinting at her unresolved anger towards Discord and why she reacts the way she does rather than the immediate cause of her reactions. If that makes sense. I have trouble making sense as I run my ship by feel . . .
I felt the characterization for Twilight was a little off here. Like, this bit.
Yeah, that's just not Twilight. Really, she wouldn't say something like this without good solid reasoning. These are the sort of ideas that should be hinted at via thoughts and narration rather than via dialogue. I very much doubt Twilight would be this mean to Discord and call him out to his face. She knows how guilty he feels, as do all the Mane 6. Rubbing salt in the wound isn't exactly her style. He'd REALLY have to piss her off before this would happen.
The dialogue had me cracking up.
WHAT? Is she 1800's British aristocracy now? Sorry, just . . . this is waaaaay too formal. Oh my stars. I doubt she'd talk like this EVER. Unless she was trying to sound snooty or acting in a play or something. Then the part about her incinerating him! This might just be me, but I don't see Twilight saying that so casually.
"Oh, yes, quite a lovely set-up, I do declare. Tis fortunate for you. I had my men ready to torch this chateau if you had gone over the top."
Sorry. I enjoy teasing people a little too much.
In all seriousness, it was a super cute chapter. I like to see how much Discord's trying to impress her. You just make him so gosh darn lovable. I wanna pinch his little draconequus cheeks! *Ahem* Yes, yes. An excellent advancement to the story. I look forward to more in the future!
6372831 Ahah you are making me blush a bit , you never cease to amaze me with the time you put into your analysis and replies to my story, I can't thank you enough.
I think the reason other people haven't brought this up is because no one else is quite as helpfully picky as you . About my pacing, I should have set emotions earlier on I admit yes, however I believe that since I plan on stretching the story out, emotions will soon become clear. Discord, as you can tell, is crushing on Twilight at the moment, which you readers seem to find adorable . Whether or not this will blossom further, you will have to wait and see . And so, *obvious spoiler is obvious* Discord in particular will have to work to change these emotions, thus making the true feelings of each character have to be realised over an extended period. Unless of course, you think it is wrong of me to do this, then I can come up with another plan.
The idea I am building up is that Twilight does not have any kind of warm feelings towards Discord, setting up the plan for him to gain her approval. However, I may have gone overboard and made her seem nasty at some points, which you thankfully pointed out to me. After thinking about it a little more, I remember that Twilight actually decided to release Discord from Tirek as one of her friends, even after his betrayal. In summary, she would probably not be as cold to him as I have made her be in the story so far. I'll have to tone it down a bit, you are right once again .
I may not have made it clear, but Twilight was not being serious about the incineration. For one, she wouldn't have the ability to do so anyway, and also, she believes she is playing mind games with him, since she thinks he is plotting against her again. Despite this, it is my fault for making the reader believe she is being serious about this, as I have set her character up as being overly cold. I certainly have made a mistake with Twilight's character! It seems I underestimated the effort it would take to get her right, since I was so busy worrying about getting Discord's character down. I thought she would not be too difficult, and that I was going to struggle with Discord, I'll have to focus more on her character in future .
I love how much you are putting into helping me improve, if you are this picky, then your stories must be awesome! I can't wait to read them, you have stories on some of my favourite ships .
Once again, thank you so much for all you are doing to help me out on this story,
Lots of Love, Lord Nito
6408626 Thank you very much, you guys commenting on my story and giving me praise is an amazing feeling, there is little that is as rewarding as this. Expect the next chapter soon.
Love, Lord Nito