6306358 Yes, my little brother may be gone, but I'm posting his final story here. It didn't feel right to me that his story would go unread by his followers. It was something that I felt should be done. I know how much he enjoyed posting his stories here, and I felt that he deserved to have his final story where it rightfully belongs. I hope you're not mad at me for fulfilling my brother's legacy.
6306364 Just making sure you're not faking death or abusing and what not we've had quite a few dead users sudddenly "come" back from the grave or fake their deaths to boost there stories popularity
6306383 My little brother the real Nightlock106. He committed suicide in February. I found this story on his computer and I wanted to post it here, so that everyone could enjoy one final story from my brother.
6306392 He committed suicide. Can we please not talk about it...I just wanted to let people read his final story. I didn't want to bring up my brother's death. I just wanted to do something to fulfill my brother's legacy
6306382 i'm not saying you are doing such things just letting you know that there are people who have done such things on this site so i might not be the last one to ask such questions I'm sorry if i came across as a bit blunt
6306406 I'm not trying anything, I just want to fulfill my brother's legacy, and finish what he started. After this story is finished being posted, you'll only hear from this page in memorial blog posts.
Okay I read the first chapter so far, and turned out to be pretty swell... But then again, sex isn't what I search for when it comes to reading stories, however this one seems pretty appealing.
Comment posted by Nightlock106 deleted Jun 16th, 2016
Ok. I like where this story is going, especially being a prequel to Prison Breakup, my favorite story on this site (to me, it had even more emotion than My Little Dashie). But I did notice a few mistakes that should be easy to take care of.
Pinkie Pie started selling her "special sugar" around Ponvyville a few weeks back, and many ponies were dying to get their hooves on it.
It's Ponyville, not Ponvyville.
It seems that the fashion business is no small feet for just one unicorn.
Feat
Every time I asked her, she told me that it was thanks to Pinkie Pie's "special sugar.
It should end with another set of quotation marks.
She snorted a big line of the "sugar" and then handed me the straw, "Of course dear, I wouldn't be doing anything that would harm me now would I.
A couple mistakes with this one. First, it should either be "handed me the straw. 'Of course dear...'" or "handed me the straw saying, 'Of course dear'". Second, 'harm me' is kind of a weird way of wording that. I would suggest "anything that would harm myself." Finally, there should be a comma between 'now' and 'would I.' And end with a question mark.
I took a beep breath and quickly snorted the line in front of me. Immediately regretting my decision.
The period before 'immediately' should be a comma and the word lower cased.
The fruit untouched until one day, a pony decided to try it and started giving it away to everpony else.
Everypony
I made it to Sugar Cube Corner and knocked on the door, "Pinkie Pie, you home? It's me, Vinyl! Hello?"
Should be a period before she starts talking.
The door creaked open and I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw her, "Oh...Hi Vinyl, I take it you're here for some 'sugar'."
Same as above.
"Uh...yeah. Pinkie...what happened to you."
Question mark at the end.
"Inflation...the price of sugar has gone up...and I need to start turning profit if I'm gonna live."\
Common quick typist error. Take out the slash.
I looked at the ground and scraped my hoof across it, "There's no other way I could get it for 600?"
Period before speaking.
I sighed and looked back up at her, "Ok...I'll do it."
Same
She turned to me and smiled, "Ready?"
Same
That's all the ones I could find. Others are welcome to find any other mistakes I missed or tell me that my editing is shit, but I feel that Nightlock's stories should be the best we can hope for on this site.
Isn't this user dead?
6306358 Yes, my little brother may be gone, but I'm posting his final story here. It didn't feel right to me that his story would go unread by his followers. It was something that I felt should be done. I know how much he enjoyed posting his stories here, and I felt that he deserved to have his final story where it rightfully belongs. I hope you're not mad at me for fulfilling my brother's legacy.
6306364 Just making sure you're not faking death or abusing and what not we've had quite a few dead users sudddenly "come" back from the grave or fake their deaths to boost there stories popularity
6306371 I'm appalled that you would even think such a thing.
6306364
1. Wait, who's dead?
2. I really like this story. When is chapter two coming?
6306383 My little brother the real Nightlock106. He committed suicide in February. I found this story on his computer and I wanted to post it here, so that everyone could enjoy one final story from my brother.
6306364 Woah woah, what happened to your brother?
6306389
Yeah, I actually just read the blog posts and started crying. I'm so sorry
6306392 He committed suicide. Can we please not talk about it...I just wanted to let people read his final story. I didn't want to bring up my brother's death. I just wanted to do something to fulfill my brother's legacy
6306382 i'm not saying you are doing such things just letting you know that there are people who have done such things on this site so i might not be the last one to ask such questions I'm sorry if i came across as a bit blunt
P.S loved the story have a fav
6306406 I'm not trying anything, I just want to fulfill my brother's legacy, and finish what he started. After this story is finished being posted, you'll only hear from this page in memorial blog posts.
6306403 I'm terribly to ask about that...
Okay I read the first chapter so far, and turned out to be pretty swell... But then again, sex isn't what I search for when it comes to reading stories, however this one seems pretty appealing.
6306436 It will, definitely.
Ok. I like where this story is going, especially being a prequel to Prison Breakup, my favorite story on this site (to me, it had even more emotion than My Little Dashie). But I did notice a few mistakes that should be easy to take care of.
It's Ponyville, not Ponvyville.
Feat
It should end with another set of quotation marks.
A couple mistakes with this one. First, it should either be "handed me the straw. 'Of course dear...'" or "handed me the straw saying, 'Of course dear'". Second, 'harm me' is kind of a weird way of wording that. I would suggest "anything that would harm myself." Finally, there should be a comma between 'now' and 'would I.' And end with a question mark.
The period before 'immediately' should be a comma and the word lower cased.
Everypony
Should be a period before she starts talking.
Same as above.
Question mark at the end.
Common quick typist error. Take out the slash.
Period before speaking.
Same
Same
That's all the ones I could find. Others are welcome to find any other mistakes I missed or tell me that my editing is shit, but I feel that Nightlock's stories should be the best we can hope for on this site.