Who is Bulk Biceps' Special Somepony?

by Lise

Evening

Sugarcube Corner was all but empty - the last few couples were just leaving to go home or continue their date elsewhere, the cakes, pies and other pastries were completely sold out, leaving empty shelves behind. Only a freakishly grinning Pinkie Pie remained, no doubt already planning next year's event.

Looking his best, Bulk Biceps walked in. His coat was spotless, his mane combed to perfection. Confidently he went to the counter and gave the earth pony a folded in half receipt. Knowing what the day would be like, he had placed his order ahead of time. Pinkie nodded conspiratorially, then went into the kitchen without a word. Moments later she emerged with a large brown bag. Taking it with care, so as not to damage the contents, Bulk nodded in thanks, then energetically left... through the door, leaving splinters in his wake. No sooner had he done that, than Twilight, Rarity and Spike teleported in the room.

"Wow, that's new," Pinkie Pie blinked. "Twilight, I didn't know you were going on double dates," she grinned. "Where's your special somepony, though? It's never a good idea to let the mare wait on..."

"No time!" Twilight interrupted. Beside her, Spike tactfully moved to the side, trying to hide the fact he was blushing. "Did he say where he was going?"

"I don't know, silly," Pinkie laughed. "You'll have to tell me who the lucky charmer is first."

"Bulk," Twilight quickly replied.

"You and Bulk Biceps are a couple?" Pinkie arched a brow. "Didn't see that coming."

"What? No!" Twilight shook her head, trying to ignore the mental image the sentence had brought. "We are trying to figure out who his marefriend is."

"Why, Twilight!" Pinkie gasped. "As the princess of friendship, I expected jealousy to be beneath you. I guess even you aren't immune when it comes to love."

"No, Pinkie..." Twilight facehoofed. The conversation had definitely take a turn for the worst.

"Look, it's quite simple, darling," Rarity stepped in. "Ever since Bulk Biceps asked for a day off, this morning, the entire town has been wondering who his special somepony is. To be honest, I myself am a tiny bit curious on the matter, so decided to lend a hoof. For the good of Ponyville, of course. It is unladylike to engage in gossip for gossip's sake."

"So Twilight and Bulk aren't a couple?" The earth pony sounded a bit disappointed.

"Argh!" Twilight groaned.

"Do you think you can help us, darling?" Rarity asked. "Twilight has started to loose it and if we don't help her find the answer, she might go crazy again," she whispered.

"Riger-roger!" Pinkie Pie said and saluted. "Bulk didn't exactly tell me where he was going, but it's easy to guess." All eyes focused on her. "He made an order for a bag of my special lemon surprise muffins. And we all know what that means."

"Derpy!" everypony said in unison. Spike rolled his eyes.

That certainly was a new development. For one thing, nopony was sure who Derpy's coltfriend was, if any at all. There had been speculation for years, with several prominent theories circulating through Ponyville. Bulk, however, had not been mentioned once even by the most enthusiastic of matchmakers.

"I should have know!" Twilight said slapping herself on the forehead. "That explains everything! Derpy was a replacement on the aerial relay team. It must have been there that they fell in love. No wonder it remained a secret! No one would think twice about Derpy."

"Hey!" Pinkie Pie crossed her forehooves. "That's not a nice thing to say, miss jealous!"

"What I meant was that she wouldn't be picky when it comes to stallions," Twilight tried to correct herself, but only succeeded in making things worse. Even without looking she could feel the cold critical gazes focused on her. "What I meant..."

"Darling," Rarity placed a hoof on her shoulder. "I don't want to be unladylike, so in the name of our friendship, I'd just suggest you spend a few moments not saying anything. Trust me, it is for the best."

"But," the alicorn protested. Rarity shook her head silently. "Still..." Twilight tried again, getting the same response. Defeated she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. That seemed to have the desired effect.

"Better?" Rarity asked with a smile.

"Why yes," Twilight began calmly, her tone quickly changing to extremely angry. "And I would be even better if we had gone after Bulk, instead of arguing!"

"Well, why didn't you say so, silly?" Pinkie laughed, hopping by. "Just follow me and we'll get to the bottom of this, you jealous softy, you."

Twilight took another deep breath, but said nothing. Arguing would serve no purpose in the matter. Besides, she was really dying to know if she was right or not. So far all her guesses had been wrong. Bulk had visited Fluttershy to get a pet, then Rarity for some moonlight hoofbands. Could there anything he could get from Derpy? Mail was crazy during Hearts and Hooves Day, but even so, it was difficult to believe that would be the reason. Also, he wouldn't bring muffins.

The walk to Derpy's house was slow and stealthy. At every corner a Pinkie Pie would stop, look around suspiciously, crawl across the street then give a sign for the others to follow. Usually Twilight wouldn't be bothered by such antics, but right now it seemed painfully irritating. So much time wasted for no good reason.

"Why couldn't I just teleport us there, again?" the princess asked annoyed. "We could have been there already!"

"A little tact, could go a long way, darling," Rarity said sharply. "How would you feel if somepony barged in at your home, when you were with your coltfriend?"

"She wouldn't know," Spike snickered. "She hasn't read that far ahead in her books yet."

Twilight looked at him, menacingly. That was something she wouldn't forget anytime soon.

"We aren't even sure she is his marefriend," Twilight said though her teeth. "That's what we are trying to find out! And if we actually ever get to Derpy's house, we might get an answer!"

No one added anything, but Twilight could hear them chuckle quietly. Thankfully, she didn't have to put up with their behaviour for long. Four corners later, they had arrived at something, which Pinkie Pie explained to be the home of the illustrious mailmare. On the outside it seemed quite normal, with one exception - the door was on the second floor. Either Derpy had a hoof in building the house, or she was one of those pegasi who preferred entering directly from the sky.

Getting on the terrace unseen was out of the question, but thanks to Twilight's magic and Pinkie's ingenuity, the group managed to get a good view of the upper floor... Just in time to see Bulk leave. This time he was carrying a small pink envelope with a large heart on it.

Twilight's pulse quickened as she watched the white pegasi fly into the sky with incredible effort. The mystery had been pretty much solved, and yet it felt somewhat anticlimactic. Was this what she had wasted the entire day for?

"So, what now?" Spike asked.

"We question the suspect!" Pinkie Pie said turning to Twilight. "Now you can teleport us!"

Rolling her eyes, the alicorn did just that. Knowing Derpy, Twilight had expected to find a house in total disarray. Instead around her was a very normal, if slightly plain, interior. In one corner, a very surprised Derpy sat at a table, a bowl of muffins before her. For a long moment, she and the intruding ponies started at one another, not saying a word. In the end it was Spike who broke the cycle of silence.

"Ditzy, are you and Bulk Biceps a couple?" he asked as plainly as possible. "I'm tired of having them keep guessing." Behind him several faces turned a fine shade of pink.

Derpy, on her side, just shrugged then, to everypony's surprise, shook her head.

"What?" Rarity and Twilight asked in disbelief.

"Yea! What?!" Pinkie soon followed.

"We're just friends," the mailmare said. "Although I know who his sweetheart is."

"Who?" The question came in the form of a triple shout that almost knocked Derpy to the floor.

"Somepony strong," she answered quickly, regaining her balance. A deadly silence filled the room. For several moments it seemed as if time itself had stopped. "And wild," Derpy added, to no effect. "And awesome."

Rarity, Twilight and Pinkie Pie looked at each other. There was only one pony they could think of that matched the description.

"And a pegasus?" Twilight asked. Derpy nodded happily.

"Oh, Rainbiw is good," Pinkie Pie whispered as she rubbed her hooves maniacally. "She even fooled me, and it was her the entire time!"

"Pinkie," Twilight sighed. "It can't be Rainbow Dash. We're with her almost every day. One of us would have noticed if..."

"She and Bulk were at Wanderbolt Academy together," Pinkie Pie whispered in the alicorn's left ear. "Dashie chose him to be on the relay team," she then whispered in her right. "And she likes fast pets and anything sports related. Oh, and 'wild' and 'awesome'."

The facts spoke for themselves. There was every reason to suspect Rainbow to be Bulk's marefriend. After all, she did seem rather annoyed at the barge in at Fluttershy's. It was within reason that she was acting to deflect suspicion from herself. But if she could do that, the same could be said for every other pony.

"Derpy," Twilight said, thinking about something. "What did Bulk come for?"

"A Hearts and Hooves card," the mailmare replied. "And the location of the best cloud for a moonlight night. It's where he'll be on his date tonight."

"Best cloud for a moonlight night..." Twilight repeated. "Girls, I think I have an idea."

Author's Note:

Advice, suggestions and comments are much appreciated :) Help the quality improve! :D

NOTE: Is somepony missing from this picture?

Comments

[Lightoller]

"She wouldn't know," Spike snickered. "She hasn't read that far ahead in her books yet."

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