Bulk Biceps asked to take the day off, so he could spend Hearts and Hooves Day with his special somepony. Now every mare in Poneyville is wondering who that might be.
When Bulk Biceps asks for a day off from the spa to be with his marefriend on Hearts and Hooves Day, nopony could believe it. Who in her right mind would want to date him?
The question soon gains a life of its own, with every mare in Ponyville trying to find out, at times going to extraordinary lengths to do so. Even Twilight Sparkle herself falls victim to curiosity. Whatever the cost, the mystery will be solved!
"You want what?!" Lotus Blossom could hardly believe her ears.
For one thing, today was the busiest day of the year. Most mares, and a few gentlecolts, would make bookings months in advance. Hearts and Hooves Day was a very special occasion, second only to weddings. Furthermore, Lotus never thought the request might come from Bulk Biceps. Ever since he had become her employee, the pegasus had hardly taken a day off, and most certainly never on such a busy day. If anything, he was always over enthusiastic in his duties.
"I want the afternoon off?" Bulk Biceps asked again, his muscles tensing as he did so. "The evening too."
"But all our patrons," Lotus felt a headache coming on. "The schedule... And three masseuses are already on leave to be with their special somepony. It's not like you are going to ask anyone out."
"Err, maybe," he looked to the side, two parts annoyed, one part uncomfortable.
The answer, however, had enough of an effect on its own. Lotus' jaw dropped, along with every other pony's in the spa. Had he really just said that? It had to be a mistake. The huge white pegasus was likable in his own unique way, but too much of a haystack to be regarded as dating material.
"Ok then," the spa pony managed to mutter, still trying to come to grips with this new information. "Have fun."
"Yeah!" Bulk flexed his muscles victoriously, then made his way past the multitude of gaping ponies, and went outside. Several moments passed in total silence and stillness.
"Aloe," Lotus managed to say as shock loosened its hold over her. "Come here, please."
On the other side of the room, her sister swallowed. "Please" at the end of a sentence meant only one thing - Lotus was upset. And seeing how hard they would have to work to make up for all the day's absences, she had every reason to be.
"Yes?" The pink blue-maned pony was quick to respond. "What is it, sis?"
"Did you?" Lotus gave her an accusatory look. At first Aloe didn't understand, but moments later the suggestion dawned upon her.
"Oh, no!" She shook her head violently. "No, absolutely not! I just find him funny. He's definitely not my coltfriend!"
"You are sure?" The other narrowed her eyes.
"You know me better than that!" Aloe said defensively. "We're just friends. If there was anything more, I'd tell you."
Lotus gave her sister a long piercing stare. She definitely wasn't convinced.
"Alright," she said, still somewhat skeptical. "But then, who is his special somepony?"
Bulk Biceps hummed happily as he made his way to the flower shop. He seemed in unusually good spirits, for being outside a gym. Unknown to him, however, several sets of eyes were watching, carefully observing his every move.
"Oooh, he's going to the flower shop, oooh!" Minuette said in her typical over-cheerful fashion only to be shushed by Lyra and Bon Bon. The three ponies had spent the last hour following the white pegasus throughout Ponyville.
"I'm telling you, there's no way he has a special somepony," Lyra grumbled. Originally she was supposed to be enjoying a nice romantic picnic in the park with Bon Bon. The morning's incident, however, had gotten the better of her date, so Lyra had no choice but to begrudgingly go along. "Honestly, somepony would have known about it," she added bitterly.
"Shh! I see him talking to Rose," Bon Bon focused her binoculars on the store. "He is asking something about a 'special flower'..."
"Ha!" Lyra said triumphantly, pointing a hoof at Bon Bon. "Now I know he lied! All flowers have been sold out for weeks! The ones left are of the garden-variety, and there's no way he would give them to anypony!"
"Sold out for weeks?" Minuette asked. "How could you be sure?"
"Pfft," Lyra waved a hoof. "Same thing happens every year on Hearts and Hooves Day. This isn't Canterlot. I had to order mine months in advance! Even an airhead, such as Bulk, wouldn't dare offer garden flowers on this occasion."
"Maybe he's trying to make up for it in quantity?" Bon Bon suggested.
No sooner had she done so, when Bulk Biceps emerged literally covered in crates of flowers. Five alone were piled on his back, not to mention a few more sticking from his ginormous saddlebags.
"You were saying, Lyra?" Bon Bon looked at her, eyes narrowing. The minty unicorn just shrugged, although it was obvious she too was intrigued by the development. "Let's see where this takes us."
An hour later, the ponies had gone through half the streets of Ponyville and were no closer to finding Bulk's special somepony. The reason was simple - the white pegasus kept walking in circles. Apparently, doing two things at once provided too difficult. For the most part he juggled between balancing the crates on his back and actually looking where he was going. Every now and again Bulk would stop and ask for directions. Each time, Bon Bon and company would hold their breaths, wondering whether the mystery of his marefriend would be revealed.
As time dragged on other ponies would joined in. Initially they would ask Lyra what was going on, laugh at her explanation, then, a few minutes later, tag along despite their better judgement. Even Twilight Sparkle fell victim to her own curiosity. Answering an innocent wave from Minuette, she soon found herself drawn in, and all the logic and magic in Equestria wasn't enough to let her return to her normal day.
"This is ridiculous!" the princess whispered angrily. "This is the third time he's going to the edge of town!
"Err..." Spike tried to say, but was rudely interrupted.
"I mean, it's like he doesn't know where he is going!" Twilight went on. "If he really has a special somepony, I honestly pity her!"
"Twilight!" The dragon pulled her wing, a tad annoyed. "He's not lost this time. Here," he pointed at his clip chart on which there was a rough map of Ponyville. "Each time he gets lost he flexes his muscles twice. See, here and here- " claws tapped on the map, " -he was trying to figure out what to do. This time he's walking straight forward."
"Oh, Spike," Twilight said dismissively. "He can't possibly be going that way. This is the end of town. Or do you think Zecora is his special..."
Her words trailed off, as she realized. There was somepony else who lived in that direction, somepony Bulk knew well.
"Fluttershy!" the alicorn said in utter disbelief, then in a flash teleported everypony near Fluttershy's cottage. "How could I not have seen this!" she said while everypony else was trying to figure out what had just happened. "They did spend a lot of time together training for the Equestria Games. I should have known this would happen! The way Bulk was constantly flexing his muscles in front of Fluttershy, he must have managed to somehow impress her."
"But, Twilight, aren't they, you know, too different?" Spike asked. His expression clearly showed he had trouble imagining Fluttershy and Bulk Biceps as an item. "I'm just saying."
"I know, Spike," Twilight sighed. "What is worse, Fluttershy never told me. She must be afraid I'll disapprove and drive a wedge in their relationship. And we proved her right! Just look at us!" Everypony stirred uncomfortably.
"Well, then, I guess we can all go home," Spike said cheerfully. A single step was all he took before noticing the angry glares everypony was giving him. "Or we can wait a bit longer, just to be certain?" he suggested, flashing his best apologetic smile.
The ponies didn't have to wait long. Soon enough, Bulk Buceps appeared. He was walking confidently, still balancing the crates of flowers. Carefully, he went to the cottage door and gently knocked. Hiding best they could, the ponies and Spike tried to make out what was going on. It wasn't easy. From this distance they could barely see Fluttershy emerge from her cottage. All the shoving and shushing wasn't helping either.
"What's happening?" Twilight asked Bon Bon, who was still the only one with a pair of binoculars.
"Fluttershy is saying he didn't have to bring all those flowers," Bon Bon replied. "She says he's right on time and..." she paused.
"And?" Lyra leaned forward, as if that was going to help her or Bon Bon make anything out.
"And she invited him in," the earth pony replied putting the binoculars away.
"Oooh, this is so exciting!" Minuette hopped behind them. "I would never have thought that those two would be a match!"
Before anypony could add anything, the cottage door opened again, and a very pleased Bulk Biceps emerged from within. There was a green hummingbird hovering over his shoulder. For all intents and purposes that seemed to settle it. Fluttershy would never give a pet to a pony she didn't like. There mere fact that she did so, on a day such as this, spoke volumes.
"Spike, follow him!" Twilight shoved the dragon out of the hiding spot. She then teleported everypony away, before her assistant had a chance to protest. This time they ended right in the middle of Fluttershy's living room.
"Oh, my," the yellow pegasus managed to say at the sight of eight mares suddenly appearing in her home. "I didn't know I was expecting more guests," she said quietly.
"More guests?" Twilight he arched a brow, confused.
"Hello-o-o," a semi-annoyed Rainbow Dash said, standing next to a huge pile of daisies. "And what brings you eggheads here?" Clearly she wasn't overly pleased to see Twilight or the rest.
"Well," Twilight smiled uncomfortably, as everypony else glanced away innocently. "Funny thing, now that you mention it..."
"I'm all ears," Rainbow narrowed here eyes.
"Thing is," Twilight swallowed. "You see, we were wondering if Bulk Biceps wasn't..." She paused again. No matter how one looked at it, there was no good way of putting it. "...If he wasn't Fluttershy's special somepony."
Total silence ensued, followed by Rainbow Dash bursting in laugher. For almost a minute she rolled on the ground uncontrollably, unable to breathe. Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Seriously?" Rainbow Dash finally managed to speak coherently. "Bulk Biceps?"
"Well, I just observe the facts," the princess of Friendship said. "They were pretty close at Rainbow Falls!" The other ponies on the room nodded. "And while you were busy training for both teams he didn't stop flexing his muscles. In front of her! " The ponies nodded again. "Also, how do explain all these flowers?"
The only answer Twilight got was another round of laughter, twice as violent as the last. Obviously Rainbow found this incredibly funny. What was worse the laughter seemed contagious, for Minuette soon joined in.
"Oh, my," Fluttershy said quietly through the noise, all blushing. "Err, Twilight, err..."
No pony paid any attention. Some started discussing things amongst themselves, namely Lyra, who kept on nagging that it was time she and Bon Bon returned to their, so far disastrous, date. Twilight, on her part, was engaged with Rainbiw Dash, trying to stop her laugher with sarcastic remarks.
"Err, excuse me," Fluttershy said again. No reaction. "Excuse me!" she yelled. Her voice, now gaining the might of a raging minotaur, filled the room. Everypony instantly froze and looked at her obediently. "Err, you see," Fluttershy continued in her usual soft tone of voice. "The flowers are not for me, they are for the daisy salad me and Rainbow Dash are going to make. I wanted all my small furry friends to enjoy this day. It is a special occasion for them as well, after all."
The ponies started at her blankly, with the exception of Rainbow Dash who was doing all in her power to stifle the laughter inside of her.
"Bulk agreed to bring them here, since he was coming to get a pet," Fluttershy added.
"A pet?" Twilight asked equal parts angry and disappointed. "He came here just for a pet?!"
"I'll have you know Hummingway is not 'just a pet'!" Fluttershy frowned. "He is an extremely smart and friendly bird! And I'm glad that at least one pony sees that!"
Chaos erupted once more. The mystery solved, there was no reason for the ponies to remain here. Minuette, the only pony who enjoyed the "adventure", had to go back to Canterlot to be with her own special somepony. Soon after, a triumphant Lyra dragged a guilty Bon Bon outside of the cottage. They had a date to get back to and she Lyra expecting her marefriend to make up for it big time. The others too, one by one, gradually left. All that remained from the Bulk hunters was Twilight.
"I can't believe you seriously though Fluttershy and Bulk," Rainbow Dash said, fighting a chuckle. "Don't you think I would have noticed? What in Equestria gave you that idea in the first place?"
"Well, he did ask for a day off from the spa," Twilight said.
"Oh, please!" Rainbow waved a hoof. "I bet he just said that not to feel bad. Although at one point, I did think Aloe was into him."
"Well, she was just as surprised as everypony else," Twilight sighed. The thought of having to resort to am imaginary date was sad. Come to think of it, it would have been nice if somepony had invited her on a date. "Sorry, girls. I guess I was so caught up in this, that I went a bit too far."
"Nah, don't worry about it. It's still funny, though." Rainbow chuckled. "Fluttershy and Bulk," she poked the yellow pegasus beside her, who instantly blushed again.
Suddenly the cottage door brush open and a panting Spike rushed inside.
"Bulk, Bulk..." he tried to say, gasping for air.
"Yes, Spike, we know," Twilight said with the tone of one who was about to hear the punchline of an old joke. "He came here for a pet, and the flowers were for the animals, not Fluttershy."
"... he said he was going to the jeweler's," the dragon finished his phrase.
"What?" Twilight, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash asked in unison.
"And asked me how to tell if a diamond was flawless or not."
"I can't believe it!" Rainbow Dash said in utter disbelief.
"Gee, Rainbow," Spike grumbled, crossing his arms. "It's not like I eat gems for a living, or anything..."
"He really does have a special somepony!" the blue pegasus concluded. "And I have no idea who it is!"
The diamond Bulk bought was of the "nearly flawless" type. There were no imperfections visible to the naked eye, but the overall shine was just shy of perfection. 'A joy for any mare' the jeweler had said, and for that amount of bits it definitely had to be.
The white pegasus gently took hold of the jewel's box, with his teeth, and left. Above him, hidden in a cloud, an alicorn, a dragon and two pegasi carefully watched.
"What about Blossomforth?" Rainbow Dash whispered. For the past hour she had been suggesting names of potential candidates. "She has been acting strangely lately. I bet it's because she was worried I would find out."
"We just saw her on a date with Thunderlane," Twilight sighed. The obnoxious side of Rainbow had become quite insufferable. That was one of the things wrong with the the blue pegasus - when she became obsessed with something, she really became obsessed. "If we just see where he is going we'll know soon enough. There's no point in naming every mare in Ponyville and Cloudsdale, is there?"
"Cloudsdale," Rainbow mused. "Fleetfoot likes muscular types, but I don't see her with one as slow as Bulk. Although you never know."
"Argh!" Twilight facehoofed.
"Err, maybe we should go home?" Fluttershy asked quietly. The whole experience made her feel uncomfortable. "My animal friends might need my help, and I..."
"Yes, I know, Fluttershy," Twilight said biting her lip. "We really shouldn't be doing this, but... Argh! We're talking about Bulk Biceps! I can't get the question out of my head! If we don't find out I won't be able to sleep for weeks!"
Fluttershy didn't say anything, but it was obvious she was in the same boat. After all, despite all her protests, she continued to tag along.
"Maybe..." Rainbow Dash looked up, trying to think of a name she hadn't suggested. So far she had gone through all but the extremely unlikely.
"Cloudchaser?" Spike said all of a sudden.
"Get with the program, Spike!" Rainbow Dash frowned. "I suggested Cloudchaser half an hour ago!"
"No." The dragon pointed at something in the sky. "Cloudchaser."
For a moment everypony diverted their attention from Bulk. It turned out Spike was indeed correct. Wearing a Wonderbolt cadet uniform, Cloudchaser passed nearby. Seeing a gathering of ponies looking at her from a cloud, she made a sharp turn and swooped by.
"Hey, girls," she began, but was quickly pulled out of the sky and into the cloud by Rainbow Dash.
"Shhh!" Rainbow whispered, her hoof on the other's mouth. "Quiet or he'll hear you."
Cloudchaser blinked. That sounded far too ominous for a festive day such as this. Still, if it came from Rainbow Dash, there had to be a good reason for it.
"Ignore her," Twilight said pushing Rainbow's hoof away. "We're trying to find out who Bulk Biceps' special somepony is."
"Bulk?" Cloudchaser asked confused.
"Yea," Rainbow Dash gave her an overconfident look. "The whole town is talking about it. Actually maybe more than the whole town. This morning Bulk asked to have the day off so he could spend it with his special somepony."
"That's strange..."
"Totally! I'm curious to see who fell for that loser," she laughed.
"Now, Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy frowned. "That's no way to talk about a friend! He's extremely nice, and he helped us win the Equestria Games. So I suggest you treat him with the respect and kindness he deserves."
"Yeah, whatever," Rainbow looked aside, hurt. She didn't like it when she had done something thoughtless and was called out on it.
"What are you doing here, though?" Twilight asked Cloudchaser. "I thought the Wonderbolts were doing a special performance for Hearts and Hooves at Canterlot."
"Oh, they are," the other replied glancing casually at the ground below. "Just not us cadets. Since most had plans to be with somepony, they let us all go for the day. Talking of which I need to check on Flitter. That mare always manages to get in trouble somehow. Have fun with your mystery!"
With little more than a warning, Cloudchaser was off, shortly disappearing from view. Alarmingly, she was not the only one. A quick glance at the ground revealed that Bulk Biceps had vanished as well. This caused a Twilight to get slightly nervous. Teleporting to the ground, she started asking about, yet to little avail. Most of the ponies were preoccupied with other matters on this day, and their recollection of events was unreliable at best. The white pegasus was said to have gone in three completely different directions, talked with a dozen ponies and carried anything from a piano to a golf cart.
"What do we do?" Twilight asked trotting nervously in circles. "What do we do? What do we do? I can't get the question out of my mind and if we don't find out it'll be months before I'm able to sleep!"
"You know, we can always follow the diamond," Spike suggested casually. Everypony stared at him.. "What? Diamonds have smells to, gee! Sometimes I think you take me for granted!"
"Nonsense," Twilight quickly gave him a reassuring wing hug. The tiny droplets of sweat on her head, however, marked that she had Often been guilty of such behaviour..
"Yeah!" Rainbow Dash agreed in with an overly wide smile. "We were just impressed with your awesome diamond smelling talents." She paused for a moment. Somehow that phrase didn't sound right.
"Ok, ok," the dragon pushed himself free. "Give me some space."
It was a simple task following the diamond. Even in a box the scent was unmistakable. Of all the gems given on Hears and Hooves Day, diamonds were the most rare. Rubies were prevalent, with emeralds being a distant second. As far as Spike could make out, there had been only three diamonds on the move - one was the unmistakable sweet aroma of Diamond Tiara's tiara - a pity such delicious stones were wasted on her, the second was a cheap diamond somepony had probably spent their live's savings on, and lastly - Bulk's purchase. As far as quality went, the white pegasus had done quite well.
This time the trail was straight as an arrow, starting at the jewelry shop and heading straight for...
"No..." Spike's heart sank, as the Carousel Boutique became visible before him. The ponies watched as all joy was sucked out of his being, turning him into a hollow shell. "Rarity..." he managed to add weakly.
"Surprising, but makes sense," Rainbow Dash said oblivious to the dragon's state. "They are both white, and he did seem to enjoy the uniforms she made for him for the Equestria Games..." Seeing the deathly glares Twilight and Fluttershy were giving her, the blue blue Pegasus promptly stopped. "But I bet Rarity doesn't see anything special in him," she added.
"That's right, Spike," Twilight said in an attempt to cheer up her assistant. "Just because Bulk thinks of her as his special somepony, doesn't mean she shares those feelings."
"Tell me about it," the dragon sighed.
"Err, what I meant to say was that you really don't have anything to worry about. These things aren't as simple as you might think."
"How would you know?" Spike snapped back. Right now he wasn't in the mood, especially since all of Twilight's information on the matter came from books.
"Oo-o-kay..." the alicorn gingerly tiptoed away from him. "Take your time. We'll just go take a peek and see how Rarity's going. In case she needs any help..."
Before Twilight could finish her sentence, the boutique door swung open and a beaming Bulk Biceps trotted out.
"And remember," Rarity said loudly from her shop. "Wash it only in running or cloud water, and never dry it in the sunlight. You do understand how important that is, right darling?"
"Yeah!" the pegasus replied in typical fashion and disappeared in the streets of Ponyville.
For a few moments Twilight and her friends just stood there, as if struck by lightning.
"Definitely have to admit," Ranbow Dash said at last. "He's fast."
"A bit too fast, maybe," Twilight said, narrowing her eyes. Something seemed to be off. Bulk's behaviors was simply too irrational. What had he come to see Rarity for? There was only one pony who knew the answer. "Let's have a word with Rarity,"
Rarity's shop was shockingly deprived of dresses. The few that remained had a "reserved" note pinned on them. Obviously Hearts and Hooves Day was great for business, if a bit tiring, judging by the exhausted state the unicorn was in. She even went as far as to yawn, discretely covering her mouth with a hoof, of course.
"Rarity," Twilight didn't waste time with greetings. "Please tell me it isn't true!"
The question shocked away any feeling of fatigue the unicorn might have had. "What... what do you mean, darling?" she asked desperately trying to find out what she was being accused of.
"Bulk Biceps!" Rainbow Dash added accusingly. "We know all about it!"
"What?" The unicorn made a step back. "No, surely, you must be mistaken..."
"Aha, so it is true!" The blue pegasus said to her face. "Admit it!"
"Well, I..." Rarity's back was against the wall. "I... That is... Oh you are right!" She broke down in tears. "I never should have done it. I feel so ashamed it's been eating me this whole time!"
Both Fluttershy and Twilight gasped at the confession. Only Rainbow seemed pleased. Winning always made her happy, regardless of the circumstances.
"Rarity!" Twilight said, hurt and concern in her voice. "How could you? I thought we were friends..."
"Trust me when I say that I deeply regret my actions," Rarity sniffed sadly. "I know that now. I was just so dazzled by the diamond I couldn't refuse. I honestly wanted you to be the ones to try my new creation... But I turned out to be far too week!" Tears of makeup started trickling down her cheeks.
"Wait, what?" Twilight blinked.
"My special moonlight fabric. I have been developing it for months. Light, stretchy, glowy... It's like you are wearing the moon itself."
"You mean to say that Bulk bought you a diamond to get a dress?!?" Rainbow shouted infuriated. "That is your big secret?"
"I know!" Rarity burst into tears. "I'm a horrible pony! Not only did I ignore my friends, but I abused Bulk's trust as well!"
"Actually, we thought you and Bulk might be an item," Twilight said.
"An... An item?"
"Well, he did go bring you a diamond. On Hearts and Hooves Day. After he asked for a day off."
"Well, we certainly aren't!" Rarity said hurt by the suggestion. "He might be an outstanding model, but I assure you I have far more refined tastes than that! I just needed a fine diamond for my soon to be greatest creation."
"Let me get this straight," Rainbow Dash flapped her way to the ceiling. "Bulk Biceps bought a diamond to give to you, so you could make him some clothes using your moonthingee fabric?"
"Ill have you know that 'moonthingee' happens to be months of work, and might become one of the most glorious discoveries the fashion world has ever seen!" Rarity said sharply. "And he didn't buy clothes, just some hoofbands."
"Booring!" Rainbow said totally disinterested. "Going now! Come on, Fluttershy."
Whispering something about the animals and Angel Bunny needing her, Fluttershy followed Rainbow Dash outside. Twilight remained, however. The mystery surrounding Bulk remained, and so far nopony was close to finding the answer. Could it be that he had lied to do some chores, or did he really have a special somepony?
"You look troubled, darling," Rarity said, concerned. "Maybe you should go relax at the spa! I hear they are booked, but I can let you use my special VIP reservation..."
"It's just Bulk!" Twilight groaned. "I cannot stop wondering whether he's just making things up or not!"
"Well, I don't know about that. But he did mention going to Sugarcube Corner. How did he put it... 'Now just Sugarcube Corner and all will be set for tonight! Yeah!'" Her impersonation was well off, but managed to convey the message to a satisfactory degree.
"Rarity," an ominous smile appeared on Twilight's face. "How would you like to help me out with something?"
Sugarcube Corner was all but empty - the last few couples were just leaving to go home or continue their date elsewhere, the cakes, pies and other pastries were completely sold out, leaving empty shelves behind. Only a freakishly grinning Pinkie Pie remained, no doubt already planning next year's event.
Looking his best, Bulk Biceps walked in. His coat was spotless, his mane combed to perfection. Confidently he went to the counter and gave the earth pony a folded in half receipt. Knowing what the day would be like, he had placed his order ahead of time. Pinkie nodded conspiratorially, then went into the kitchen without a word. Moments later she emerged with a large brown bag. Taking it with care, so as not to damage the contents, Bulk nodded in thanks, then energetically left... through the door, leaving splinters in his wake. No sooner had he done that, than Twilight, Rarity and Spike teleported in the room.
"Wow, that's new," Pinkie Pie blinked. "Twilight, I didn't know you were going on double dates," she grinned. "Where's your special somepony, though? It's never a good idea to let the mare wait on..."
"No time!" Twilight interrupted. Beside her, Spike tactfully moved to the side, trying to hide the fact he was blushing. "Did he say where he was going?"
"I don't know, silly," Pinkie laughed. "You'll have to tell me who the lucky charmer is first."
"Bulk," Twilight quickly replied.
"You and Bulk Biceps are a couple?" Pinkie arched a brow. "Didn't see that coming."
"What? No!" Twilight shook her head, trying to ignore the mental image the sentence had brought. "We are trying to figure out who his marefriend is."
"Why, Twilight!" Pinkie gasped. "As the princess of friendship, I expected jealousy to be beneath you. I guess even you aren't immune when it comes to love."
"No, Pinkie..." Twilight facehoofed. The conversation had definitely take a turn for the worst.
"Look, it's quite simple, darling," Rarity stepped in. "Ever since Bulk Biceps asked for a day off, this morning, the entire town has been wondering who his special somepony is. To be honest, I myself am a tiny bit curious on the matter, so decided to lend a hoof. For the good of Ponyville, of course. It is unladylike to engage in gossip for gossip's sake."
"So Twilight and Bulk aren't a couple?" The earth pony sounded a bit disappointed.
"Argh!" Twilight groaned.
"Do you think you can help us, darling?" Rarity asked. "Twilight has started to loose it and if we don't help her find the answer, she might go crazy again," she whispered.
"Riger-roger!" Pinkie Pie said and saluted. "Bulk didn't exactly tell me where he was going, but it's easy to guess." All eyes focused on her. "He made an order for a bag of my special lemon surprise muffins. And we all know what that means."
"Derpy!" everypony said in unison. Spike rolled his eyes.
That certainly was a new development. For one thing, nopony was sure who Derpy's coltfriend was, if any at all. There had been speculation for years, with several prominent theories circulating through Ponyville. Bulk, however, had not been mentioned once even by the most enthusiastic of matchmakers.
"I should have know!" Twilight said slapping herself on the forehead. "That explains everything! Derpy was a replacement on the aerial relay team. It must have been there that they fell in love. No wonder it remained a secret! No one would think twice about Derpy."
"Hey!" Pinkie Pie crossed her forehooves. "That's not a nice thing to say, miss jealous!"
"What I meant was that she wouldn't be picky when it comes to stallions," Twilight tried to correct herself, but only succeeded in making things worse. Even without looking she could feel the cold critical gazes focused on her. "What I meant..."
"Darling," Rarity placed a hoof on her shoulder. "I don't want to be unladylike, so in the name of our friendship, I'd just suggest you spend a few moments not saying anything. Trust me, it is for the best."
"But," the alicorn protested. Rarity shook her head silently. "Still..." Twilight tried again, getting the same response. Defeated she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. That seemed to have the desired effect.
"Better?" Rarity asked with a smile.
"Why yes," Twilight began calmly, her tone quickly changing to extremely angry. "And I would be even better if we had gone after Bulk, instead of arguing!"
"Well, why didn't you say so, silly?" Pinkie laughed, hopping by. "Just follow me and we'll get to the bottom of this, you jealous softy, you."
Twilight took another deep breath, but said nothing. Arguing would serve no purpose in the matter. Besides, she was really dying to know if she was right or not. So far all her guesses had been wrong. Bulk had visited Fluttershy to get a pet, then Rarity for some moonlight hoofbands. Could there anything he could get from Derpy? Mail was crazy during Hearts and Hooves Day, but even so, it was difficult to believe that would be the reason. Also, he wouldn't bring muffins.
The walk to Derpy's house was slow and stealthy. At every corner a Pinkie Pie would stop, look around suspiciously, crawl across the street then give a sign for the others to follow. Usually Twilight wouldn't be bothered by such antics, but right now it seemed painfully irritating. So much time wasted for no good reason.
"Why couldn't I just teleport us there, again?" the princess asked annoyed. "We could have been there already!"
"A little tact, could go a long way, darling," Rarity said sharply. "How would you feel if somepony barged in at your home, when you were with your coltfriend?"
"She wouldn't know," Spike snickered. "She hasn't read that far ahead in her books yet."
Twilight looked at him, menacingly. That was something she wouldn't forget anytime soon.
"We aren't even sure she is his marefriend," Twilight said though her teeth. "That's what we are trying to find out! And if we actually ever get to Derpy's house, we might get an answer!"
No one added anything, but Twilight could hear them chuckle quietly. Thankfully, she didn't have to put up with their behaviour for long. Four corners later, they had arrived at something, which Pinkie Pie explained to be the home of the illustrious mailmare. On the outside it seemed quite normal, with one exception - the door was on the second floor. Either Derpy had a hoof in building the house, or she was one of those pegasi who preferred entering directly from the sky.
Getting on the terrace unseen was out of the question, but thanks to Twilight's magic and Pinkie's ingenuity, the group managed to get a good view of the upper floor... Just in time to see Bulk leave. This time he was carrying a small pink envelope with a large heart on it.
Twilight's pulse quickened as she watched the white pegasi fly into the sky with incredible effort. The mystery had been pretty much solved, and yet it felt somewhat anticlimactic. Was this what she had wasted the entire day for?
"So, what now?" Spike asked.
"We question the suspect!" Pinkie Pie said turning to Twilight. "Now you can teleport us!"
Rolling her eyes, the alicorn did just that. Knowing Derpy, Twilight had expected to find a house in total disarray. Instead around her was a very normal, if slightly plain, interior. In one corner, a very surprised Derpy sat at a table, a bowl of muffins before her. For a long moment, she and the intruding ponies started at one another, not saying a word. In the end it was Spike who broke the cycle of silence.
"Ditzy, are you and Bulk Biceps a couple?" he asked as plainly as possible. "I'm tired of having them keep guessing." Behind him several faces turned a fine shade of pink.
Derpy, on her side, just shrugged then, to everypony's surprise, shook her head.
"What?" Rarity and Twilight asked in disbelief.
"Yea! What?!" Pinkie soon followed.
"We're just friends," the mailmare said. "Although I know who his sweetheart is."
"Who?" The question came in the form of a triple shout that almost knocked Derpy to the floor.
"Somepony strong," she answered quickly, regaining her balance. A deadly silence filled the room. For several moments it seemed as if time itself had stopped. "And wild," Derpy added, to no effect. "And awesome."
Rarity, Twilight and Pinkie Pie looked at each other. There was only one pony they could think of that matched the description.
"And a pegasus?" Twilight asked. Derpy nodded happily.
"Oh, Rainbiw is good," Pinkie Pie whispered as she rubbed her hooves maniacally. "She even fooled me, and it was her the entire time!"
"Pinkie," Twilight sighed. "It can't be Rainbow Dash. We're with her almost every day. One of us would have noticed if..."
"She and Bulk were at Wanderbolt Academy together," Pinkie Pie whispered in the alicorn's left ear. "Dashie chose him to be on the relay team," she then whispered in her right. "And she likes fast pets and anything sports related. Oh, and 'wild' and 'awesome'."
The facts spoke for themselves. There was every reason to suspect Rainbow to be Bulk's marefriend. After all, she did seem rather annoyed at the barge in at Fluttershy's. It was within reason that she was acting to deflect suspicion from herself. But if she could do that, the same could be said for every other pony.
"Derpy," Twilight said, thinking about something. "What did Bulk come for?"
"A Hearts and Hooves card," the mailmare replied. "And the location of the best cloud for a moonlight night. It's where he'll be on his date tonight."
"Best cloud for a moonlight night..." Twilight repeated. "Girls, I think I have an idea."
Rays of moonlight shone between the clouds, gently falling on the trees below. Perfect for a romantic stroll on the most romantic night of the year. Bulk Buceps, however, was not interested in the ground. All the time spent at the spa had made him aware of everymare's thoughts on the perfect date. The weeks leading to Hearts Day and Hooves, had made the place a treasure-trove of information. Not a single mare had passed through without sharing her views on the matter. Nearly all considered a moonlight night to be the ideal romantic setting. Of them most pegasi preferred spending it in the clouds.
Selecting the most suitable gifts had proven more difficult. While certain elements, like a romantic card and a cute pet were pretty much shared by all, every pony seemed to have a different idea what the perfect gift would be. Clothes, paintings, jewelry, even expensive exotic foods were suggested. Ultimately, Bulk had gone with a piece of clothing relating to his marefriend's favourite activity, and made by Rarity, of course.
Pleased, the white pegasus slide a hoof through his hair. It had been a long day, but it was all here - a cute hummingbird, a unique set of moonlight hoofbands, the best Hearts and Hooves card the mail service had to offer, and the perfect place in all of Poneyville. Derpy definitely knew her clouds. The one she had suggested was so thick with rain that the moon reflected off its surface. Now the only thing remaining was to wait.
Meanwhile, in Twilight's castle, most of Poneyville had gathered in the largest hall. Twilight, after consulting a large number of magic books,, had composed a magic projection spell that allowed them to observe Bulk's date from a distance. She, of course, felt guilty about it, along with most of the other ponies, but not enough to stop doing it.
"Are you sure about this?" Fluttershy whispered. Initially she had been on the suspect list, along with Rainbow Dash and every other pegasi. However, Twilight had decided to invite all of her friends. Also, if Bulk's date didn't show up, she would know exactly who to suspect.
"That's the only way," Twilight said, her horn glowing as she maintained the spell.
"Not to mention fun!" Spike said, eating a box of popcorn.
"Spike!" Twilight snapped. "This is for important research purposes only! Not for your amusement!"
"Sure thing, miss jealous," he snorted, causing her to blush slightly.
"Hey! I'd let you know that..."
"Shhh!" Pinkie Pie hushed them. "Something is happening."
Apparently something had caught Bulk's attention. Everypony watched him straightened up, focusing on something in the sky. Since the spell was anchored a short distance from his cloud, the ponies had no idea what had caused the change in behaviour. More accurately, they had no idea who had caused it.
"Can't you turn that thing around?" Rainbow Dash grumbled.
"This is a complicated spell!"
"Yeah, yeah," Rainbow Dash waved a wing. "Just turn it around a bit."
"Look, I can't just..." Twilight began, when Bulk's face suddenly filled the entire projection square. All the noise in the room subsided, as the ponies turned towards Twilight for answers. "Err, the cloud must have moved," she smile sheepishly. Popcorn flew towards her, as shouts and boos filled the air. Nopony was pleased. They certainly hadn't come here in the middle of the night to suffer a magic projection of such low quality!
Suddenly Bulk's expression changed. A wide smile on his face, the pagasus waved. It was as if he could see the crowd. Almost instantly order was restored. Every mare knew what this meant - Bulk was waving to his marefriend, whoever she might be. His mouth began opening and closing, almost as if he were talking. The only problem was that no sound could be heard.
"What the hay?" Rainbow Dash kicked the chair she was sitting on. "Why can't we hear anything?"
"I wasn't able to get the sound spell right," Twilight apologized in a squeaky voice. "The cloud is interfering with the magic, causing..."
"Some show," Spike grumbled cutting her off. "Bad projection angle, bad lighting, no sound... Honestly, Twilight, you're really bad at this. Now how are we going to learn who Bulk's date is?"
"Calm down, everypony," Bon Bon moved to the front row. "I can lip read."
"Oh! oh! What's he saying? What's he saying?" Rainbow Dash quickly sat beside her.
"Err, it's like, err," Bon Bon began, "cool you made it. Lotus Blossom almost wouldn't let me go..." All eyes in the room turned towards Lotus Blossom.
"It's not true!" She protested "I gave him the day off!"
"Did you have any problems?" Bulk then asked, still voiced by Bon Bon. A few moments of silence followed - probably his date answering. "Rainbow Dash? You have nothing to worry about."
"Way to go Dashie!" Pinkie Pie hopped next to the pegasus, smiling mischievously. "You've made some mare jealous."
"Well, yeah," Rainbow tried to act cool, blushing ever so slightly. "Of course, 'cause I'm awesome!"
"Err, here, this is for you," Bon Bon went on. On the projection square, Bulk reached into the cloud and took out a Hearts and Hooves card. Brushing the puffy cloud fragments off, he offered it forward. An indigo hoof took the card and opened it.
"Princess Luna?!" several voices asked in shock. This was more than unexpected, this was unfathomable! Most had barely accepted the fact that Bulk had a marefriend. For her to be the princess of the night, was inconceivable.
"Didn't see that coming," Pinkie Pie said. "I always thought Luna was more into sensitive silent types. Guess you can never account for taste," she shrugged.
"No, no, no, no!" Twilight started to go into panic mode, disrupting the image quality of the protection spell. "This isn't right. Not princess Luna! It simply can't be!"
"Can't you move your spell a bit back?" Rainbow Dash asked again.
"I can't! Don't you think I'd do it if..."
"You know there is an easy way to see if it's the princess," Spike said casually. "I'll just send her a scroll and if it appears then it's her." All jaws dropped. "What? I thought it was obvious. I send scrolls all the time."
"Spike, you are a genius!" Twilight beamed. "Take a note. 'Dear Princess Luna, how is your date?' Signed Twilight Sparkle."
The scroll was written and promptly sent it on its way. All eyes focused on the projection square. If the theory was correct, the proof would be visible any moment.
Seconds passed, then a minute, two minutes... All everypony could see was a hoof holding a card, with extremely horrendous writing on it, and Bulk Biceps smiling tensely in the background.
"Well, I guess..." Spike began then suddenly belched a scroll. Catching it swiftly, he cleared his throat then opened it, as he usually did. "Fine!" he read. "And yours?" Definitely testy. No doubt princess Luna didn't appreciate the question. That meant that at some point tomorrow Spike and Twilight would have to send a much longer scroll in means of apology. "Well, at least we know it's not her."
"Yeah!" Bon Bon's yell filled the room, making everypony jump. "It was the best card there was, and I wanted to make it really special! I also got you this!"
A small box, perfectly wrapped in dark blue Hearts and Hooves motives, was presented forward. Indigo hooves held it, while wings of the same colour started removing the wrap.
"Guess it isn't princess Celestia either," Spike said finishing the last of his popcorn. "What?" he asked, as Twilight gave him a disapproving glare. "I'm just saying!"
"Ahem!" Bon Bon said loudly. "The way you like exercising, I thought this would be useful," she continued lip reading. The mare's answer couldn't be heard, but judging by the way Bulk Biceps blushed everypony got the gist.
The box revealed a hoofband, glowing with a soft whitish yellow light. In the darkness it almost seemed as if made of moonlight.
"Oh, that's mine," Rarity said loud enough to be heard by all. "And it'll be an integral part of my next fashion line. As you can see, very suitable for nights and evenings." The murmurs of agreement indicated she had already gained a substantial number of potential customers.
"And now the very best," Bon Bon kept on reading. "I know you've been wanting one. Hold on just a sec..." Bulk started searching the cloud for something.
"Quickly!" Pinkie Pie urged. "Who do you think the lucky mare is? Winner gets a free box of free cakes from Sugarcube Corner for free!"
"We've been there already," Rainbow Dash waved a hoof. "Pretty much every pegasus fits the bill."
"Spitfire!" Spike shouted. "She's fast, she's wild, she loves to exercise a lot," he started enumerating.
"She's my personal idol..." Rainbow Dash whimpered. The notion that her future boss was dating Bulk Biceps sent shivers down her spine.
"Well, Cloudchaser did mention that the Wonderbolts were performing at Canterlot during the day," Twilight mused. "That explains why the date had to be at night - so it didn't interfere with Spitfire's schedule!"
"Twilight, not helping," Rainbow squeaked, trembling.
A loud discussion started with everypony throwing names. Most were old favourites with a few new additions. Everything was guesswork, of course, and in part that's what made it exciting. It was Bon Bon who put the discussions to an end, as the silent image of Bulk started moving its lips again.
"Ah, here he is!" she shouted as a small hummingbird appeared on the projection square.
"Hummingway!" Fluttershy said happily, just before being shushed by a dozen mares nearby.
"Glad you like him!" Bon Bon said loudly, indicating she didn't like being interrupted. She was just about to continue, when Bulk's smile faded, replaced by a look of utter horror. Everypony in the hall held their breath, waiting for the white pegasus' response.
"It's not the very best?" Bon Bon said, moving closer to the projection square.
"Dumping," Pinkie Pie whispered to Spike, who was devouring another box of popcorn, eyes not blinking, less he miss something. "I know it's a dumping."
"But why?" Bon Bon continued. "I thought everything was perfect." A small tear formed in the corner of her eye. And she wasn't the only one. The time spent speculating and following Bulk, be it brief, had got them to know him. No longer was he the weird white pegasus made of muscles, who crashed through walls and yelled "Yeah!". Right now, at the end of Hearts and Hooves Day, he was the hero of an imaginary story, the charming knight set out to win the princess. They all felt for him, they all shared his pain.
The projection square suddenly disappeared. Gasps, whispers and the occasional boo filled the hall.
"Sorry, sorry," Twilight said loudly. "My magic is drained. The spell was more exhausting than I thought. Guess that's it for tonight."
"Nonsense, darling," Rarity approached. "I might not have your skill, but I think I could give a helping hoof."
"As I said, the spell is very exhausting and complicated," Twilight stressed. "And I really need to go to bed and get some rest."
"Oh," Rarity nodded, getting the hint. "Well it is late, and we all need our beauty sleep. Lotus, can I book my usual for tomorrow morning?"
One by one the ponies left the castle. Twilight politely saw them off, then went to her room. There was much for her to think about. She could easily have seen the identity of Bulk's marefriend, his ex-marefriend, that is. However, she had lacked the courage to do so. The spell hadn't exhausted her in the least. Not only that, but she could have teleported to the location and seen for herself. There were moments in which she had been tempted to do so.
Up to today Twilight had never seen the romantic side of Bulk, she doubted anypony had, with the exception of the one. All that hope and effort on his part, only to get dumped, on Hearts and Hooves Day no less! He certainly didn't deserve that. So what if he was a little thick in the head? Did that make him any less a pony? He too needed a shoulder to cry on every now and again.
It's settled! she said to herself. The very next morning she would go to the spa and have a nice long heart to heart with Bulk! She would make sure he got back on his hooves!
"I am so very very sorry, princess, but it simply is impossible," Lotus Blossom said firmly.
"Oh?" Twilight arched a brow. "Why not?"
"You see, Bulk hasn't come to work yet. Usually he arrives an hour before sunrise, but today," she sighed. "I even sent Aloe to check his usual gym. He wasn't there."
"Having in mind what happened last night, no surprise. Did you check his home?"
"Yes," Lotus nodded. "His home, the nearby parks, Sugarcube Corner. He is nowhere to be found."
"Well he has to come at some point. Maybe I can wait inside for a bit? Just in case?"
"Very well, princess, but you better be prepared..."
At first Twilight had no idea what the spa pony was talking about. Upon entering the building, however, it became quite obvious. The space was packed to the brim with ponies. It was as if all the mares in Ponyville had gathered.
"What is..." Twilight began, but was quickly cut short by Pinkie Pie.
"Told you she'd come!" the pink pony said with a wide grin.
Much to Twilight's surprise, all her close friend were there as well, including Applejack. That was unexpected, having in mind how adamantly she had refused to come to the Bulk-watching event last night.
"Girls, what are you doing here?" the alicorn asked, shocked.
"We? What are you doing here?" countered Rainbow Dash. "Don't you have princessy things to do?"
"Well, I decided to take a break!" Twilight rose her voice.
"Oh, yeah? Well I came here because Fluttershy asked me to!"
"Err, well, I just wanted to ask Bulk how Hummingway was doing," the yellow pegasus said.
"I, for one, always come here," Rarity explained waving her mane. It was obvious, however, she had spent extra effort to look good, even to the point of wearing a moonglow headband.
"I came to do a cheer-up party!" Pinkie jumped happily. "Haven't done one of those for a while. Also, I wanted to try out my new spa party cannon."
"Don't y'all look at me," Applejack said. "I just felt sorry for him, and decided to cheer him up with some of Granny Smith's zap apple jam. That'll sure put the kick back in him!"
"Well, that's fine and all, but I somehow doubt some jam will be enough," Twilight said skeptically. "What Bulk Biceps needs is a long heart to heart."
"Read that in one of your egghead books?" Rainbow smirked. "Bulk is a doer. What he needs is a day in the skies to build his self confidence, not mushy talks."
"No, a party!" Pinkie Pie shouted.
"A bag of candy!" Some other pony shouted.
"A rave concert!"
"A beautiful bouquet of flowers!"
Shouting filled the spa. Each mare had an opinion, and each through hers was better than the rest. None were willing to listen to reason or compromise. The chaos was such that Discord himself would have been proud. As the volume increased, It seemed that the row would last forever. Shoves were starting to be exchanged, manes be pulled... And then suddenly everything was restored to normal by a single male yell.
"Hello, everypony!" A familiar voice boomed. Instantly, all heads turned towards the entrance. Bulk Biceps was there, standing calmly, as if nothing had happened. "There is something I wish to tell you!"
Everypony swallowed. Was he going to talk about last night?
"Well," he said a tad softer then cleared his throat. "Yesterday, I asked for a day off. It was to impress somepony, I like a lot," he took a deep breath. "Err..."
"Oooo, the long speech," Pinkie Pie whispered. "This might require more than a single party cannon."
"So, err... " Bulk struggled to find the appropriate words. "I wanted... This thing..."
"Oh, just say it!" a new voice yelled out. Shortly after, a new pegasus entered the scene.
"Cloudchaser?!" The entire gathering gasped in disbelief.
"Yep. Bulk and I are an item," she said, moving next to the white pegasus. "We've been going steady ever since the Wonderbolt academy."
"Yeah!" Bulk shouted striking a pose.
"The academy?" Rainbow Dash asked in disbelief. "Since the academy?!"
"Well you remember what Spitfire said," Cloudchaser chuckled. "'If any pair splits apart, they will be immediately disqualified'. To be honest, we wanted to to keep it quiet. But with everything going on yesterday..." all the ponies in the room looked about absentmindedly, "we decided to come clean." She rubbed her face against Bulk's.
"Yay for Cloudchaser!" Derpy cheered and leapt clapping in the air... promptly landing in a tub of water. The other ponies joined in, but their cheers were somewhat less enthusiastic. In a way, that pretty much marked the end of the small adventure and a return to everyday gossip.
Everypony wished the happy couple the best. It was the proper thing to do, after all. Cloudchaser spent the next minutes accepting congratulations, then flew off. She still had Wonderbolt training to go to. Bulk, on his part, had to get back to work. He had already missed a day and a half, and by the looks of it, Lotus Blossum wasn't overly pleased. The other ponies remained where they were, waiting, looking at each other uncomfortably. They had found the answer to the riddle that was Bulk, but that didn't seem to make them overly happy. Just a day ago they all laughed at the notion that Bulk could have a special somepony. Now there was only one thing on their mind.
"He's too good for her!" Twilight whispered bitterly the instant Bulk went to change into his work clothes. Every single pony in the spa, with the exception of Derpy, nodded silently in agreement.
