A Certain Unremarkable Sparkle In Equestria {An anthology of bad ideas...}

by Bumblebee Tuner

Let's blast this turkey...

A Certain Unremarkable Sparkle in Equestria

Chapter 3

There are many ways to become an alicorn. For Diamond Tiara this was a forlorn hope and at worst a cruel joke. Ironically, when she was picking sides oblivion and pragmatism were the furthest things from allies.
She was the worst kind of spy, the kind both sides knew was a double agent thus making any intelligence she provided practically worthless. She supposed she was fortunate that her condition made her virtually immortal even if she wasn’t invulnerable. And, she could still use magic provided she didn’t use more than seven simple spells or one major seven layered spell within fifteen minutes of the last series. At least that was before the accident. The kind of accident that set up the worst kind of temporal loops, a homunculus loop of inescapable Stein’s gate limbo; that is unless she somehow managed to cross a dimensional gateway before- well, in all fairness, Discord‘s death was ZK paradox waiting to happen whether or not there was a winner of the death game.

Diamond’s branch of the reality tree was already braided into the tire swing of structured chaos and the cord was about to snap. Scratch that, the cord was the only thing holding the branch to the tree of life and that cord was slowly frayed down to its last thread before the whole system collapsed. No amount of gorilla glue could restore the structured chaos her world relied upon for its survival. Even the concept of structured chaos was an oxymoron. Fortunately, she found a quick ally in Sunset Shimmer who was equally eager to get out of this hell hole and Discord’s twisted game of phone tag. But, in all fairness, she could literally rule the world at this point and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference what her species. Which was really sad because practically any idiot could become an Alicorn in her reality without much effort. Except her, because what could possibly be more chaotic than someone with access to all the powers of God restrained by the straightjacket of a twisted game of cat and mouse. There just wasn’t enough time…literally.

The academy city database title of Alchemist was a bit of a misnomer as the title of Backstabbing Blade would have probably been more accurate. Not that it really mattered since Diamond Tiara wasn’t even her real name. If she ever located the cruel bastard that named her Blood Diamond she was going to vivisect them with her chainsaw of justice. Not to mention she would hardly classify internal bleeding, simulated tuberculosis, and occasional brain damage in exchange for the ability to use magic an equivalent exchange. The only reason she had the luxury of living as long as she had was a result of her ESPer ability to immediately repair most superficial damage and her ability regenerate her major organs within a matter of minutes. Unfortunately, since the ability relies on a good deal of perception for damage control, the use of painkillers often caused more harm than good.

Author's Note:

I had 800 words, now its 500. I'm not necessarily giving up just reformulating the Kadokawa pony massacre.There are too many anime in here as it is I don't know what I was thinking.

And, in case you were wondering what my comments were on August 3 "I'm not entirely sure anyone else is thinking this story through fourth dimensionally. I realize it took three chapters to introduce most of the main players and, as a mash-up or role insert style crossover, the introduction isn't the most original piece of fiction. I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't see the forest for the trees. The story is meant to be a tragically dark, and gory, alternate universe.

Without spoiling the story I think it's safe for readers to assume the story takes place in Academy City. Pegasi are cloning their 'inferior' models until they find a cure for what ails them before disposing of the leftovers as economically as possible. In one case, aiding a unicorn ascend to alicorn status. In a world where everyone is special, then no one is, including Luna. A decentralized power structure doesn't negate her influence, nor does it make her any less of a villain. In much the same way, being a terrorist doesn't make 'Railgun less of an anti-hero. I'll admit I haven't decided whether or not Luna and Celestia are on the same side in this reality, but it's safe to assume taking or picking sides in this story will be a matter of perspective. In a debate between Magic vs Science where any science sufficiently advanced is magic, something is bound to confuse the issue."

This Zombie/Dumb Twilight story is still happening, and she will be teaming up with a broken Diamond Tiara. Sweetie Belle is still going to be Index. Apple Bloom will still be their teacher. There will still be lots of Rainbow-dash clones and Trixie is still going to be homicidal. Flutershy will still be a lovably crazy psychotic necromancer, and Discord and Pinkie Pie will still be Twilight's imaginary friends. And, I'm still borrowing the concept of 'Princess Luna's Center for Kids Who Can't Magic Good, and Wan'na Do Other Stuff Good Too' from Lunabrony. I just need to figure out how to organize it better before I can create an irreparable bootstrap paradox.

Comments

[Bumblebee Tuner]

6565203
The plan was to introduce all the characters and then move into the story, but there were/are too many characters at the moment. And the story takes place halfway into A Certain Scientific Railgun, the opening of A Certain Magical Index (same series same characters just different protagonist) and then I attempted to just insert characters from other Kadokawa anime to fill out the rest of the class.

Imagine Breaker, Railgun and her clones, The Transporter, Backstabbing Blade, Accelerator,and Index are all essentially from the 'A Certain Scientific/Magical (whoever)' series. But, then I needed an excuse to fold Discord, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie into the story so I threw in 'Future Diary and 'Is this a Zombie? and then it kind of collapsed. I know it can be done, in fact I once read a Ranma fanfiction that crossed over every possible 90's anime character into a parody of MTV's Real world; I just couldn't quite work in the characters well enough to hold it together. It's probably best to think of these chapters as character sheets while I figure out how to pull the story together. I'm still thinking Diamond Tiara as Backstabbing Blade and Twilight as a purely defensive-powerless offensive zombie magician could work.