Rhett & Link Eat Equestria

by toxiconym

Chapter 3

"On second thought, I have a better idea," Twilight thought to herself and immediately turned around a little too fast and fell face first. She instinctively teleported on an upright position and continued galloping towards her tree house. "If I'm to stop the alien invaders, I'm going to use alien technology,".

She entered through the house door, deafening her hoof steps with a quick spell. Stepping through her basement door, she walked around her gem-powered computer to a secret lever switch. Once it was pulled, the wall in front of her parted in two, revealing a massive chamber as big as the royal palace. The chamber was an expensive project, and if it weren't for magic Ponyville would cave in on itself because of it, but being a princess alicorn in ponyland paid well.

Twilight walked along a platform rougly 300 meters above the floor down below her. Pony scientists worked below her, conducting experiments and... messing around with the wheeled chairs. "Hire someone to make sure the pony scientists are working," Twilight added to her mental checklist and continued walking on the steel platform until she came into a room. Immediately, the atmosphere turned fresher as it was the only room in Ponyville with air conditioning. A gray unicorn with an unkempt, dark gray mane who looked to be near his early 20's greeted her once she entered.

"Welcome, Twilight. What brings you to the alien pony technology chamber?" He asked without looking at her. He was checking over his check list with his orange bio-luminescent eyes, a gift given to him from a failed magical experiment as a child. As a result of this, his cutie mark was a light bulb. However, his cutie mark had a double meaning. Not only did his eyes shine bright, but his mind did as well. That's why he was the commanding pony scientist in the group of alien technology pony scientists.

"Hello, Paper Face. I know this seems abrupt, but I need to use the bipedal alien robot,"

Paper Face spit out the coffee he was sipping, then quickly cleaned it up with a spell. "What? The hyper cannon isn't ready! There are multiple teams of scientists inside of it! Hell, one of the arms isn't even attached!"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, Paper Face, I am aware of this. Don't you know I keep five check lists for possible future events? This was one of them. I already planned this. All you have to do is push the muffin button,"

"The muffin button?" Paper Face thought to himself, and frowned. "What the heck?"

"Twilight, check your mental sanity,"

"I think you should check the author's mental sanity instead of mine. Besides, there's no time! Alien invaders are invading and eating everything! I need the pony robot, now!"

Paper Face looked over at the controls. Yep, there indeed was a muffin button. He walked over to it and raised his eyebrow. "I'm not getting payed enough for this," He said as he inserted his key into the... muffin button. The button glowed red, and when he turned the key the room started shaking. "There you go, Twi... Twilight?" Paper looked around the room. Twilight was gone, but he could faintly see a few purple sparks hanging in the air. Using a spell to check the magical trace, he found that Twilight was inside of the alien robot's head. The head itself was made of mostly glass, with the torso, arms, and legs consisting of red alien robot parts, which were then changed to black alien robot parts with a quick spell. If she could, Twilight would attempt stealth while the night lasted.

The outermost wall opened, and the giant robot stepped through it. She walked up the giant stair case, into the night. Twilight giggled in her helmet, she hadn't been able to test run the robot before! It worked like a dream.

A pony was outside, watering their garden when they looked up and screamed at the giant robot as it didn't plow through her flowers. Twilight was a nice pony, she wasn't just going to up and destroy Ponyville with the giant aliens.

Twilight wasn't very sure, but she was pretty sure half the houses in the northern side of Ponyville was gone. "Oh no!" She yelled at nopony in particular. She was the only pony in the robot. "I hope the ponies are okay, for now I'm going to have to stop the aliens to prevent further damage," She continued her monologue. The robot didn't respond, it was a robot. Nothing more, nothing less.

Music buzzed faintly in the background. Twilight strained her ears towards the noise. Among the music, she could barely pick up "are you.. are you gonna.. are you gonna, are you, are you gonna eat that?" from the direction Rainbow Dash's house was in.

"Found ya," She whispered as she prepared the hyper cannon. While it charged, she stalked as quietly as a giant robot could among the houses until she found the backside of the black-haired monster eating something with his arm raised up, dramatically posing and exaggerating his chewing. The ponies were shrieking in terror at the display below them.

The hyper cannon blasted, and Rhett was shot straight in his back. He whirled around and his eyes widened as he saw the giant alien robot being controlled by a small purple alicorn. "Uh... Link?"

"Yes, Rhett?" Link turned around and looked at the alien robot.

"Are you gonna-" Rhett was interrupted by another hyper cannon to the face. This one made him stumble backwards, and he almost crushed a pony as he fell on the ground. Link ran up to the robot and kicked its torso with his leg.

"I'm an internetainer, you are nothing to me!" He roared as he pulled back his fist and shattered the glass dome around Twilight.

"Gah!" Twilight gasped as she put a protective shield around the head. She also cast a spell that would repel the next attack on their part, making them punch in the face instead.

Rhett got up, picked up a house, and threw it at her. It hit the torso and bounced off, hitting Link square in the chest. Rhett ran up to the robot, picked up its leg, and threw it at Rainbow Dash's house.

Twilight shrieked as she fought to gain control over the robot. She spun in the air, and used her boot rocket thrusters to stabilize herself. She put the robot in flight mode, and soared to the sky. Twilight flipped the rainbow switch inside the robot once she got a few hundred meters above cloud level, turned around, and flew straight at Rhett with the force of a sonic rainboom.

Instead of hitting Rhett's face, her punch was caught by Link's hand. Link was thrust backwards, but he held the fist.

"Just a little more!" Twilight hissed as she lipped controls on the robot. The rockets went to full power, and Link was being pushed back as the robot put more force into its punch.

Link held his ground a little longer. "After all the will its we've done, after all the music videos we've made, after all the song biscuits we've written, I will not be bested by a little pony!" He roared as his mind internally spun the wheel of mythicality. It landed on "Link goes Super Saiyan".

His blood rushed all the way up his veins. He could fell the air tighten as the rocks around him flew into the air. He pulled his head up and yelled, gaining a golden aura around his body. The ground around them exploded, sending both the robot and Rhett flying backwards. Twilight flew backwards and landed on a house, destroying the walls and half of the interior. She slowly stood up and gasped.

Link's hair had become even more golden and spiky. He stood up straighter, and smiled. This would all be over soon.

He literally flew at her, shooting a blast from one of his hands. Twilight swatted it away and punched him. Her robot fist was met with his fist, and when they collided the area around them exploded, sending both of them backwards.

"I'm going to need more firepower," Twilight thought and looked at the red button on her controls. "It's now or never,"

She flipped open the glass containing the button and slammed it with her hoof.

The robot transormed, growing bigger and stronger. The glass dome was replaced, and Twilight charged magic into the inner workings. As the robot grew, it expanded small spikes around its body. After a few seconds, it was glowing with electricity and was two human heads higher than Link.

Link, knowing his super saiyan form wouldn't be enough, rushed to Rhett. "Hey buddy, we need to do something, now!"

"Good idea Rhett," Rhett stated and stroked his chin. Twilight was still transforming, so they had a few minutes to think. "I got it!" Rhett stated. "Remember that time at summer camp?"

Of course Link remembered. They separated themselves by about 10 feet, and extended arms pointing at each other. "FU!" They both yelled in perect unison as they extended one knee over the other at an angle.

They swung their arms in an arc the opposite way while moving to each other slowly. "SION!"

They turned their fingers to each other in perfect harmony and yelled "HA!" as they both glowed a blinding white. Their bodies slowly floated towards each other, and the light around them exploded, twice. After the debris had been cleared, Twilight was finally prepared for battle. However, she was looking at a new creature. Twilight gasped, a hoof flying to her mouth as her eyes widened.

"What did they do?" She yelled at herself as she saw the new creature. It had a combination of Rhett & Link's hair, and facial features of both. When it spoke, it sounded like they were both speaking at once.

"It is time to end you, alien robot!" Lett yelled at Twilight and posed his arms in front of him, extending one leg.

"TOOOOOOOO-KYYYYYYYYY-OOOOOOOO!" Lett yelled as a giant, white lazer with a red streak through the middle shot at Twilight at a blinding speed. She, along with all of ponyville, exploded.

"No!" Twilight yelled as she was ripped apart, bones shredded from her body.

Once the dust cleared, Celestia came down from her cloud. She looked at the black smudge that used to be Ponyville, and shook her head slightly.

"Well, it's time to fix this mess,".

Author's Note:

This got increasingly silly from start to finish. I hope you enjoyed this story, because I sure enjoyed writing it. I probably won't write a sequel to this because that's a terrible idea, or will I? Find out on the next, Dragon Ball Z!

Also, I keep mentioning spells because the show shows barely anything beyond telekinesis. There's so much hidden potential! I've been meaning to write a fan-fiction just on spells.

Comments

[toxiconym]

6406693 I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[DarkPinkie]

R: "Today we will eat equestria."
L: "Let's talk about that!"
*GMM intro starts rolling*

P.S: havn't read yet. Saving for tomorrow night.

[toxiconym]

6438137 What were you expecting

[Cookie Encylopaedia]

* claps slowly* Beautiful! just beautiful!

[HiddenEntity]