My Dearest Dusk

by CrackedInkWell

Chapter 6

‘So I guess that settles it,’ his reflection waved a hoof at him. ‘You’re attracted to Solaris as well.’

Dusk shook his head. “Now hold on, I think it’s a little more complicated than that.”

‘Oh?’

“Yeah, I mean, on the other hoof, this is the very pony that has practically raised me. And I personally don’t consider him as a father, just my most trustworthy friend that I could always turn to.”

‘Speaking of trust,’ his reflection interjected, ‘now knowing that he wishes that you would be his special somepony, do you still trust him?’

The Prince paused to think this question over, “Well… I don’t think that’s the right question to ask now I think of it.”

‘Huh?’ His reflection gave him a confused look. ‘I don’t follow.’

“I don’t think the question here isn’t if I trust him, but rather when he finds out that I’ve read some of his private letters, will he trust me? Think about it, I’ve just read something that he isn’t ready to show me. So would he think that I’ve betrayed his trust? In love with me or not, I’ve just found out a secret that my best friend doesn’t want me to know.”

‘Says the stallion who admitted that he’d blushed when his number one assistant joked about the Prince of the Sun having the hots for you.’

Dusk in return gave his looking glass image the death stare. “Shut up.”

‘Or what? You’ll shatter me again?’

“I thought you had all the answers.”

‘Dusk, I’m you,’ his reflection deadpanned. ‘Why do you think that I know everything? I don’t. I may know what nineteen times twenty-six squared divided by pi is, what time the battle of Carvery Ridge took place, and guess ‘who done it’ in the most challenging of Sherlock Hooves stories, but when it comes to Solaris and who should trust who, I’m in the same boat as you are.’

Sighing, Dusk Shine decided to end the experiment. He didn’t feel like he was getting anywhere, so to keep his mind from burning up from frustration, he decided to read more of the letters.

Going back to the desk, he picked up letter number five and unrolled it.

My Dearest Dusk,

I’ve gotten into a bit of a quarrel with Artemis after dinner. He brought up the subject of my attraction to stallions again and tried to offer his help to get somepony to “cure” my illness.

This isn’t the first time he’s brought it up. Even before his banishment, he would send doctors, priests, and magicians in an effort to make me become “normal” like him. Ever since I pointed out my observation to him all those years ago, he always thought it was weird that I would develop such feelings to those of the… rougher gender, shall we say. He thought that if I wasn’t cured soon, I would be the one to be left unhappy in this “unusual, unnatural condition.”

Don’t get me wrong, my beloved, Artie isn’t the type of pony I would call a homophobe. He still looks up to me, being his older brother and all, yet it is his ignorance and his inability to figure out how somepony could be attracted to the same gender that causes him to worry.

Dusk, I must confess to you, for several years after Artemis’s banishment, I did try to cure myself of it, and they were some of the worst years that I could recall. Every day, I was told that I was an unnatural, selfish, weak, perverted Prince that was a freak to everypony I came in contact with. That even when I faithfully followed their instructions to take this “medicine,” perform this ritual, or to bed this mare, I would fail to change. They told me that it was my fault that I couldn’t conform!

The young alicorn’s jaw dropped. This was the first time that he’d ever read anything about this. He had done his research about Solaris not less than an hour ago, and he never found anything like this. It was rather shocking that the Sun Prince would be treated with anything less than respect.

I cannot begin to tell you how many tears I had shed whenever these attempts to change me failed. That those idiots that dared to call themselves “doctors, priests, and magicians” would tell me to my face that I don’t deserve to rule because I’m a disgusting, colt-cuddling, stallion-stuffing, sick, perverted, unnatural faggot that shouldn’t even use my magic to touch the sun that they depend on so!

Shock gave way to anger as Dusk read the insults that these ponies in the past had called him. “How could they?” he asked aloud. “No, how dare they call their own Prince those things?!”

“Dusk?” he heard Spine’s voice as she knocked on his door, “you alright in there?”

The Prince took a moment to breathe a bit, trying to calm down after reading what he just read. “Come in.” With that, the door was opened.

“Hey there,” the dragoness said as she entered. “I just want ya to know that I’m done picking up that mess you made in the library. Sorry, were you just shouting for a moment? Is something wrong?”

After another deep breath, Dusk replied, “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Prince Shine nodded, “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, but just so you know, an old friend of yours is here to see you.” When Dusk tilted his head, Spines sighed. “Do you remember Harpsy, as in one of your sorta friends back from Canterlot? He’s here to see if you have any time to say hi.”

“Harpsy, Harpsy…” Dusk tried to wrap his mind of all the ponies he knew in Canterlot.

“Light green, plays the lyre,” Spines filled him in.

“OH! That Harpsy,” the alicorn suddenly remembered.

Meanwhile, the dragoness nodded. “He’s waiting in the library. You wanna see him?”

“O-Of course!” Dusk smiled but paused when he glanced back over to the letter. “Um… could you tell him I’ll be down in a minute? I have something that I need to wrap up.”

“Sure thing,” and with that, she left.

Dusk picked up the letter to find where he’d left off.

I am calm now. So to put that short, those ponies had left a very unfavorable impression on me that has haunted me to this day.

So when my little brother suggested a particular doctor that could help me, I told him that was exactly what I had done before, and it not only didn’t work, but it had left me psychologically scarred to this day. Artie dismissed this when he pointed out that the doctors in those days weren’t as advanced as modern day ones.

I had informed him that the latest study about homosexuality dismissed it as a mental illness, and that going into repetitive therapy (or as I like to call it, denial therapy) was proven to do much more harm than good.

Dusk, I love my brother to death. As much as I can get upset at what he thinks is natural or unnatural, he’s still family to me. Wait for a second-

…

That was Artemis; he just came into my room to apologize for his upsetting comments. I have already forgiven him and asked him what had brought this up, to begin with.

He told me that it was because of last night when he was going through ponies’ dreams. He had peeked into mine and grew concerned. It was about you, my beloved. I don’t remember seeing him in there, but I remember the dream somewhat. In it, we were in a library, all dark except for the warm glow of a roaring fireplace. We were reading a book, and you looked uncomfortable for some reason. I tried to comfort you by placing a wing over you, telling you that whatever was bothering you, you could tell me. And, well… you kissed me. I think I was both pleased and taken aback, but when you withdrew, you immediately started to apologize. And I believe that before I woke up, I reached under your chin, lifted your eyes back up to mine, and kissed you back.

As for my little brother, after he witnessed this, he told me that he was torn. On the one hoof, I had fallen for one of his saviors. No, it was the main hero that had led the defeat of his dark side from destroying his life. Yet on the other, I had fallen in love with a stallion, that as far as he’s concerned is the major displeasing factor.

I hope that with time, my brother will overcome his view on ponies like myself and realize that I’m not alone, that there’s nothing unnatural in falling for the pony you love.

Good night, my beloved.

Forever yours,

Forever mine,

Forever us,

Dusk put the letter in with the “read” pile and teleported his way into the castle’s library.

Comments

[Lord Solaris]

the feels of this chapter

[ImpossibleReflection]

If I was Dusk and I wanted to say yes, I would hide out his balcony and send him completely normal letter and sign it

Forever yours,

Forever mine,

Forever us,

Dusk shine

just to watch his reaction, but while also showing that I have returned said feelings.