Chapter 8 - No Pinkie, You Can't Name the Chapter.
My god, this world is terrifying.
Having finished the book, I closed The Fauna of Equestria and put it back into the shelf with my still human-ish right arm.
And here I was thinking this world was nothing but sunshine and lollipops. How in the world can these ponies sleep at night?
At that moment, the sound of camera shutters and shouting began to rise from outside. I shuffled over to near the window, and leaned down to pull the curtains back to see what was going on. As soon as I had made contact with the curtain, however, a bright purple flash and the sound of the balcony door opening drew my attention.
"In all my years of studying, I'll never know how the paparazzi always seem to know where Celestia is at any given time." Twilight sparkle said, with spike on her back. She seemed annoyed.
"Maybe they have somepony on the inside. Like a spy!" Spike enthusiastically suggested.
I raised an eyebrow (I don't know if they're still there, but dang it, I'm raising them!) at Spike riding Twilight like an actual horse.
"Spike, I don't think... wait, hold on a second. You might actually be on to something, Spike. They always seem to know where Celestia and I always go, and if all those reporters work for different companies, who knows how many spies we have!" Twilight said, her face (muzzle?) growing more paranoid by the second.
She seemed to notice the look I was giving her.
"What?" She asked.
"Well, two things:" I continued. "One: I think it's more likely there's only one spy handing out information at a price to different companies instead of multiple spies working for seperate companies all at the same time, and two: why is Spike riding you like we ride horses on our world?"
Both Twilight and Spike blushed. "Well, you see, not too long after Celestia gave me Spike to keep under my care, he started acting up while we were on our way to one of my lessons. He kept trying to wander off, and since I needed some way to keep an eye on him, the first thing that came to mind was to put him on my back. For some reason he calmed down right away when I did it, and he even went to sleep! From then on, it was just always more efficient to have Spike riding on my back. He could do things while I got us to where we needed to be, and I could always keep an eye on him and make sure he didn't start acting up. " Twilight finished explaining.
I smirked (bad idea, but they didn't react. I wonder if they're getting used to it by now?) " He calmed down immediately, and it was the first thing that came to mind? Why Twilight, if I didn't know better, I'd say it was a maternal instinct."
I totally knew better. Celestia had told me all about how Twilight had passed the fake entrance exam and hatched a fake egg.
Twilight and Spike's blush intensified tenfold. Their eyes made contact with each other, and they held their gazes toward each other. Their blushes slowly faded, only to be replaced with a warm smile on each one's face. Twilight turned back towards me before speaking.
"Yeah, I guess it was." She said with no embarrassment in her voice.
Huh. It's like they just had an entire conversation without even saying anything.
"I'll say! I wish I could do that!" said an unknown voice from behind me.
I swiveled my upper body around to find a pinky pony on my lower half's back smiling at me.
Who is that, and how did I not notice her climbing on my back?
"Pinkie Pie! How did you get in here?" Twilight said alarmedly.
"Through the front door, silly!" Pinkie cheerfully replied.
"But how did you get by without the paparazzi noticing you?" Twilight asked.
"What paparazzi?" Pinkie asked with honest confusion.
"What do you mean 'what paparazzi'? The ones outside! Look!" Twilight pulled open a curtain to show a completely empty space that had once been filled with countless reporters.
"Wait, what?" Twilight blurted.
All of a sudden, pinkie gasped and rose into the air in a magnificent display of blatant disregard for physics. Before I could even start talking, a flow of words started coming out of Pinkie's mouth.
"Oh my gosh Twilight! Me , you, U-3, and Spike should have a jousting contest! It'll be awesome and we can have it double as a 'Welcome to Equestria' party for U-3 and it can be the main event and we can have cake and-- *gasp* SPIKE CAN BE A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS DREAMED OF!"
Spike blushed hard.
"Actually Pinkie, as exciting as that sounds, I think we should leave it to Celestia to plan the introduction." Twilight said carefully.
"So you mean we aren't going to go jousting?" Pinkie asked unsurely.
"Maybe later, Pinkie. But for now this is a delicate situation. First appearances are everything, and this could make or break U-3's reputation in the eyes of the public. It's going to be hard in the first place because of his... 'disposition' , so we want to have everything running as smoothly as we can, which includes keeping U-3 from the eyes of the public until he's ready." Twilight finished.
Any wavering in Pinkie's voice disappeared instantly. "Oh, well why didn't you say so, silly? If you wanted to keep U-3 a secret, why don't you keep him at Applejack's farm instead of the house where Celestia's prized student lives?"
Twilight frowned. "As much as I would like to, Pinkie, Fluttershy had to take back the cage they used to get U-3 here so Fluttershy could care for the manticore that U-3 fought."
"Not to worry!" Pinkie said with joy in her voice. She continued, hopping off of my back. "Applejack asked me to come get you in the first place, so I came prepared!" Pinkie said, walking out of Twilight's front door as she finished.
"Applejack? Why would A.J. want pinkie to bring you to her farm?" Twilight asked, looking towards me.
I attempted a shrug (I think it worked.) "Maybe the others told her what was going on, and she thought she'd do you guys a favor?"
Any response that Twilight could have had was interrupted by a knocking sound on the window. I looked over to see Pinkie waving us over. I looked over to twilight to see her looking back at me. She shrugged and we both walked over to the window. Twilight gave me more window-space than her since I had to lean down and everything.
What we saw was Pinkie standing beside a large box shaped object that was covered in a tarp. It was almost four times as big as her.
"I wonder what it is." Spike thought out loud.
"Ladies and gentle-monstrosities, may I present to you..." She stood up on her hind hooves and pulled the tarp off with her front hooves. "The cardboard box!"
True to her word, there stood a giant upside-down cardboard box.
Twilight opened her window. "Pinkie, you aren't seriously considering having U-3 hide under there all the way to the farm, are you? Don't you think people might question why a giant box is moving through town all on it's own?"
"Maybe if they saw you riding it, but if they saw me riding it, they'd just cast it off as me being me! And besides, it'd be covered, wouldn't it?"
"Pinkie, thats... genius!" Twilight said, her face suddenly lighting up. "I mean, I'll have to come along to make sure things go smoothly, seeing as how it's my responsibility to keep U-3 away from the public and all, but that's a really good idea!"
"And on the way you can tell me all about dragons! Twilight made me leave with her before I had a chance to ask last time." Spike pointed out hopefully.
"Yep yep!" Pinkie said, propping up the open half of the box against the doorway. "Now everypony into the box!"
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"U-3 in a box" count: 2.
Sorry for the long wait, guys. This addicting thing called life came up.
960232
Hey, no problem. I'm two weeks late for my own fanfic, so I won't judge you for having a private life xD
It's just good to know you're back!
stealth required? use a cardboard box
[img] http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs28/f/2008/161/8/a/Snake__s_Stealth_in_a_box_by_Hells_Wingman.jpg [/img]
960310 "The Orange" is my favorite brand of cardboard box!
960285 Yeah, but this is like a whole month.
I think I might consider adding a comedy tag. What do you guys think?
960325
Well, I think it is quite fun...Funnier than some stuff tagged as "Comedy", so go ahead^^
I mean, the cardboard box thing is pure, undiluted comedic genius.
Your back!
We need to party!
hahaha
make moar please ... life is too addictive ... reader uses FIM FICITON ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE
960469 I approve of this message.
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/088/8/7/dance_fortress___sniper_by_drsp00ky-d3cse23.gif
961269 ARGH! SO MANY STORIES SO LITTLE TIME!
I'll have to use the ancient forbidden art of...
SKIMMING CHAPTERS! *thunder strike*
A cardboard box...hmmm what does that remind me of...so familiar...yet so...I remember...a Solid Snake.
962243 Yeah, and some kind of Liquid mixed with a couple of Ocelots and Otacons.
Wow this game is a lot weirder than I remember it.
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/16228043.jpg
963599 I don't get it
963710 Too lazy to change choppa with 'box'.
No time to explain, GET IN TEH BOX!
Get in the box? Nothing suspicious about that. Wait.....
964745 965121 Wait, you mean hiding in boxes ISN'T an everyday occurrence?
965220 Not outside of the internet and sneaking into well fortified military bases
So the exam was a setup and spike was hatched out of a fake egg?
Was it a subtle thing on your part to make princess C appear slightly more ominous on account of the changelings seemingly being a relatable villain or was it just a bit of shout out world building helping to justify Twilights position as the personal student to a supposed living god and I’m reading too much into crap?
Awesome job on this chapter... Cardboard box, I laughed.
PINKIE PIE!
YES!
965220
I'm having Solid Snake flash backs X'D
hahahaha.