A story of how even a monster can find love. Discord starts a relationship with Fluttershy, but as it goes on Fluttershy disappears and he assumes that she has left him. In a sorrow and rage fueled rampage he scours all of Equstria for her.
That's it I'm totally confused? That was really sweet. Again though at some parts the pacing seemed to flux between fast n slow but not distractingly so. I am going to follow this story and see where it goes. I think the down votes are solely because you mentioned that there would be rape and ppl tend to backlash at that word without realizing that in literature it is actually used. N although its an awful, sick thing doesn't mean you should cover your ears n go 'lalalalalala' to ignore it. Keep going n make sure to watch you grammar I know how easy it is to slip when you're typing fast.
6067652 Wow that was very informative (and just to clarify I'm not at all being sarcastic here, I know how things can get misconstrued over the internet) and it gave me something tangible that I can improve on. Looking back on the first chapter now I can definitely see how that scene was rushed in, at the time I think I meant it as they'd both been having pent up feelings for so long that when the opportunity came they didn't deny it. However, I should have probably taken more time in writing the scene and the actions that led up to it. To be fair though I've been in the situation and it was rushed for me, but that shouldn't define every love scene and I'll acknowledge my mistake on that part. I sincerely thank you for your input as I was beginning to get really discouraged with the lack of feedback for the downvotes this was receiving.
You've given me a lot to think about in the third chapter though where there is no excuse of "they can't wait any longer" and it has to be a genuine seduction. For this I humbly extend my sincerest from of gratitude to you Oh and I worked harder on the second chapter to make it feel more like it would be something the characters would say, so that may be more your usual style. Either way I hope you enjoy it!
Edit: Just now saw your second comment and again thank you for the input. Pacing is something I do need to work on and am currently doing more research into it and I will keep the wording in mind thank you :)
I haven't read this. I'm not going to read this. Why? Well, a number of reasons, but the biggest dealbreaker in this case is that you don't actually say what the story is about in the story synopsis, instead opting solely to give a warning about the content. The latter is fine in and of itself, but not by itself.
6073367 All right fair enough. I'll be fixing that today as well on starting the third chapter. Thank you for the input and I hope you have a great day!
That's it I'm totally confused? That was really sweet. Again though at some parts the pacing seemed to flux between fast n slow but not distractingly so. I am going to follow this story and see where it goes. I think the down votes are solely because you mentioned that there would be rape and ppl tend to backlash at that word without realizing that in literature it is actually used. N although its an awful, sick thing doesn't mean you should cover your ears n go 'lalalalalala' to ignore it. Keep going n make sure to watch you grammar I know how easy it is to slip when you're typing fast.
6067652 Wow that was very informative (and just to clarify I'm not at all being sarcastic here, I know how things can get misconstrued over the internet) and it gave me something tangible that I can improve on. Looking back on the first chapter now I can definitely see how that scene was rushed in, at the time I think I meant it as they'd both been having pent up feelings for so long that when the opportunity came they didn't deny it. However, I should have probably taken more time in writing the scene and the actions that led up to it. To be fair though I've been in the situation and it was rushed for me, but that shouldn't define every love scene and I'll acknowledge my mistake on that part. I sincerely thank you for your input as I was beginning to get really discouraged with the lack of feedback for the downvotes this was receiving.
You've given me a lot to think about in the third chapter though where there is no excuse of "they can't wait any longer" and it has to be a genuine seduction. For this I humbly extend my sincerest from of gratitude to you Oh and I worked harder on the second chapter to make it feel more like it would be something the characters would say, so that may be more your usual style. Either way I hope you enjoy it!
Edit: Just now saw your second comment and again thank you for the input. Pacing is something I do need to work on and am currently doing more research into it and I will keep the wording in mind thank you :)
I haven't read this. I'm not going to read this. Why? Well, a number of reasons, but the biggest dealbreaker in this case is that you don't actually say what the story is about in the story synopsis, instead opting solely to give a warning about the content. The latter is fine in and of itself, but not by itself.
6073367 All right fair enough. I'll be fixing that today as well on starting the third chapter. Thank you for the input and I hope you have a great day!
Wonderful second chapter. It was sweet and you got Fluttershy down pat I'm impressed.