The Science of Magic

by theworstwriter

Poor Gardeners Grow Poor Gardens

The colorful group of ponies galloped quickly to the space where their spaceship should have been, confused looks on most of their faces. Pinkie Pie seemed more pleased by the surprise than the others. No pony had much of a head start over the others, but athletic talent meant nothing without motivation and so the egghead arrived first.

Panting and gasping for air, not used to pushing her body so hard instead of simply teleporting, Eos took a moment to rest while the others caught up.

The smiling draconequus leaned down next to the magical mare. “Hello there, Twilight Sparkle and friends. How goes your little quest?”

“Discord, what-”

“Le-sigh... fine. I suppose we don’t have time for small talk anyway. Now, before you even ask, allow me to answer. Just dropping in to say hi, I can’t tell you because that would ruin everything, and he couldn’t detect you because nobody could have. Oh, and nobody could have because I’m taking precautions to hide what’s going on. And no, telling you why I’m doing THAT falls into the same category as telling you what I’m up to. I think that just about covers everything you were going to say to me, so now we can move on to what I have to say to you.”

“What exactly-”

“Don’t interrupt, I just told you we don’t have time for that. And trust me when I tell you that there isn’t a single thing you could say that would be of any importance and there are no questions you’re capable of asking that I’m both able and willing to answer that would help you right now. I’m just dropping by to say hello and give you some friendly advice.”

There was a very long not-quite-silence; somehow the turning of the gears in Eos’ head had reached audible speeds.

“Okay, we’re listening.”

“Don’t trust any of the Q. Don’t go out of your way to avoid them, just... don’t let your guard down. Their mission is much more important to them than you are, and if they feel you’re a threat they WILL stop you. Nothing you would try would work against them, just like there wasn’t anything you could do against me, because you’re working off of incorrect assumptions. Their magic isn’t the same as yours.”

Rarity blinked. “Well of course it isn’t. They aren’t unicorns.”

“I don’t think that’s what he means,” Eos replied.

Discord chuckled lightly. “Clever girl. I mean that you aren’t going to be able to detect it or stop it because it’s literally not on the same wavelength. This is simplifying things a bit, but you can see a pretty good range of colors even though you can’t detect infrared or ultraviolet light with your eyes. They’re not tuned for it, and you and your equipment aren’t tuned to the ‘frequency’ their magic is operating on. They don’t even draw their power from the same source as you.”

Rainbow Dash perked up, for once actually having a vague understanding of what was going on. “So... all our sensors and junk are an FM radio, but you jerks are broadcasting an AM signal?”

The metaphorical gears whirred louder.

“Not quite, Dash, but that’s probably close enough.” Eos frowned for a moment before a hesitant smile crept across her face. “Thank you, Discord. Thanks to you, I’ve got a few new ideas to try when we get back to the Harmony. Or when the Harmony gets back to us,” Eos said, frowning at Discord again.

“Oh, right,” he chuckled. “You’d probably have an easier time reaching your next destination if I gave that back.” With a snap of his fingers, he was gone, replaced by the Harmony as if nothing had ever been out of place.

Rainbow Dash sat on her rump and scowled, crossing her front hooves. “I don’t get him at all. What the hay is he trying to do? He just shows up, shouts a bunch of nonsense at you, and then runs off.”

Rarity turned and frowned at her friend. “Isn’t that his point? His whole spiel is a bunch of philosophical rambling about how droll reality is. I think he’d rather die than be boring or understandable.”

“Ain’t he doin’ exactly that by always speakin’ all cryptic like and leavin’? Fella hasn’t done anything different to that in a good while now.”

“... um... I don’t think he is, because we keep being surprised by him,” Fluttershy said with a squeak. “I could be wrong though.”

“No, point taken. We haven’t been able to anticipate any of the things he’s told us, and it’s pretty difficult to expect a spaceship to disappear. Now then, I think we had best be on our way. We apparently don’t have time to waste, if Discord is to be believed.”

“Wow, Disco’s right. You guys ARE predictable! I knew you were going to say something like that,” Pinkie managed through a fit of giggles. She appeared to be genuinely enjoying herself.

The same could not be said for the others. Though none of them could pinpoint what it was that filled them with unease or made it difficult for them to feel happy, they all shared this peculiar problem, as they had for some time now. The ponies of Equestria do not easily fall into depression, especially when they are not alone. That five close friends were able to be bogged down by a nebulous feeling of negativity while traveling together would have been a clue that something was wrong, if only any of them were aware the others felt the same way. Mental states of disrepair were so uncommon for Equestrians that most of them do not realize there is a problem, only that they feel down.

And so they remained quiet, but not content. They boarded the harmony and carried on. Rainbow Dash slept as much as she could, Applejack paced in place, Fluttershy sat quietly, and Rarity complained loudly. Eos worked diligently but fruitlessly on developing ways to interact with other energy signatures. Pinkie Pie convinced Spike to let her help with whatever it was he was writing, but swore herself to secrecy and wouldn’t reveal anything about Spike’s work to her friends.

---------------------------------------------------

The dull brown planet was cold. The atmosphere was breathable, the gravity was relatively weak, and there were no advanced lifeforms, hostile or otherwise, to be seen. There was no immediate danger here, but the biting wind and the frigid air sucked all warmth and will out of every pony who stepped into it within minutes. After several unsuccessful attempts to trudge onward and simply bear the chill, Eos elected to expend a small amount of their arcane energy to create and maintain a heated bubble.

The party advanced at a snail’s pace, sticking tightly together. They kept distance to a minimum not only to reduce the size of the bubble that was needed, but also because of the potential for strange and alien threats. Life or no life, an unfamiliar planet could hold any number of deadly things around each corner and it was best to remain cautious.

Pushing slowly but surely onward, a large and unusually shaped mound of stone crept over the horizon. As the ponies approached, the structure became more well defined and once close enough, it became obvious this had once been a castle. Tall stacks of rock jutted upward from various strategic points and a large opening had been carved into the front surface. The stone was incredibly worn, and yet no segment of the building had degenerated completely to unrecognizable rubble.

Eos closed her eyes as the glow of her horn began to shift and brighten. “We just need to keep moving in this direction a little longer. I can’t find anything for us to worry about either, so there isn’t any reason we can’t move on. There’s definitely nothing sentient anywhere near here, and it doesn’t seem like there has been for a long time.”

“Castles don’t just go an’ build themselves, Twi’,” Applejack said.

Eos opened her eyes and her horn returned to the previous dull glow, bleeding off just enough energy to maintain the heat bubble. “I’m well aware of that. Besides, look at the condition it’s in. It’s been abandoned for a while and as interesting as this all might be, it doesn’t do anything for us to stand around here. We need to keep moving and get to this planet’s source. Every minute we spend out here is just more wasted energy.”

The colorful group of ponies started moving forward once more, their bright coats the only interesting feature visible on this strange and empty world.

Rarity turned to the pony nearest her, Fluttershy, and spoke in a low whisper. “Is it just me, or is something... off about all of this?”

“I don’t know, Rarity. What did you have in mind?”

“Well for one, I don’t trust Discord. He’s been a bit TOO helpful. And we haven’t even truly needed the help! There haven’t been any real problems for us to deal with. We’re just... moving forward.”

“Does that have to be a bad thing? Not having anything to worry about is kind of... nice. And Discord hasn’t done anything to hurt us since Twilight first let him out. Maybe he’s changed.”

“I don’t buy it,” Rarity scoffed. “He’s up to something. Besides, it’s not just that. Haven’t you noticed Twilight... not being herself?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we just found an ancient castle, built by an unknown race whom we can’t find a trace of, on a planet none of us knew existed, and she just walked off like the idea didn’t excite her at all.”

Fluttershy squirmed. “I guess that is a little unusual... but the whole trip has been. We’re just ponies, but here we are exploring strange new worlds. Maybe this is as normal as we can expect it to be. As long as we’re all okay, everything is fine.”

Pinkie Pie’s bouncing gait slowed until she was hopping along next to the two conversing mares. “Watcha talking about back here?”

“It’s nothing, dear,” Rarity replied.

“Oh. That’s too bad. Nothing is a pretty boring thing to talk about. Maybe you should talk about parties? Or aliens! Or partying WITH aliens!”

“Um... I don’t know if there are any creatures here for us to have a party with.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course SOMEthing lives here! Otherwise there wouldn’t have been any spiffy ruins back there for Twilight to ignore. And there’s probably-”

Where previously there had been only a few feet of empty space separating the two halves of the group, there was now another draconequus. Less than half a second after appearing, it spoke. “Explain your presence.”

The three ponies at the head of the pack turned to see Rarity staring wide eyed at another Q. Fluttershy was wimpering and shivering in a small curl, and Pinkie blew a raspberry toward the thing.

“Pfft. Boo~ring. That’s the same thing the last not-Discord asked us.”

“Irrelevant. As is the answer to my previous query. Disregard. You have arcane reservoirs. I require them to re-seed this planet. You will be harvested.”

Comments

[Trill]

YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED

[A Random Guy]

Did anyone pack the shotguns? No? Ok then, lets do this boss fight!

[Dalek IX]

70392 RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

I was suddenly filled with images of Borg!Pinkie Pie.

[Grogert331]

Yes. Just YES! PLEASE UPDATE SOON! My curiosity has been hooked and I must read more! *tracks*

[Dracmatais]

For reasons I can't quite explain I am enjoying this far too much for my own good.
It's probably because it's ponies in space which is something I don't see too often... if at all...

[Thespurgin]

I am seriously startting to enter a mental feedback loop here... Discord is Q- Twilight is Picard- Draconequus are the members of the Q continuum- The Harmony is the Enterprise- and now we have a Q playing Borg and Twilight no longer thirsty for knowledge in any and all forms?!

I think I need to lie down before my brain explodes...