Auto's Authentic Anecdotes

by Autocharth

August Drabble - themunck

Normal Pony Applejack and Rainbow Dash discover Twilight's unfinished novel 'Bloodlines', and are unsure if they're being shipped or not. (Prompt paraphrased)
Non-canon to Bloodlines.

---

In the hallowed halls of the castle of friendship, two best friends shared a moment of silence.

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth, words on the tip of her tongue. She took in the sight before her, eyes running across the words again. She closed her mouth.

She felt a hoof on her shoulder, patting her. For a moment she considered shrugging it off. In light of what lay before her, it was even more important to do so. Still, she didn’t. The pegasus just sighed.

Dash took a breath. “What.” That seemed to about cover it.

“Eeyup,” muttered Applejack, nodding in agreement. Her hoof left Dash’s shoulder. The quiet swish of a page turning was the only sound in the room save their slow, uncertain breaths.

Their eyes laid upon the words. The pair winced in perfect time, and a hot flush broke across Dash’s face.

“N-no way….bathing together? You’re- you’re washing me! What the buck?!” Stepping back, Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Come on, this is a prank! It’s gotta be!”

“I dunno, seems pretty real to me,” said Applejack. She pushed the manuscript to one side, and pointed at the others beneath it. “Look, she’s got a whole series of ‘em. She wouldn’t write that much just for a prank.”

“That’s because she’s an egghead! She probably used magic, or she got so into it she wrote a whole series of books for a prank!” Swiping up the one they had been reading, Rainbow Dash waved it in her friend’s face. “I mean, come on, it’s egghead fantasy stuff. She even gave it a stupid fantasy title!”

Pushing the manuscript and its red-ink title, ‘Bloodlines’, out of her face, Applejack raised an eyebrow at Dash. “Ya seems awful out of sorts when ya think its just a prank,” she pointed out.

“....” Pressing a hoof against her face, Rainbow Dash let out a long groan. “Okay, so its not a prank! But come on, look at what she’s writing!”

“I did, sugarcube. I think she’s writing us as havin’, you know…” The farmer frowned in thought. “What’s the phrase? Unresolved something tension?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No way. Come on. There’s no way Twilight would do that.”

Neither said anything, both just looking at the manuscript again. Applejack coughed.

“...would she?”

The would-be novel hit the floor, and they were cramming their faces in a moment later as both sought the answer to their question.

“She’s got this totally wrong. Why are you are the one exercising?” growled Dash.

“‘Cause a thief don’t exercise, ‘least not like that,” Applejack replied. “See, yer like one of them monkey things. All that jumpin’ and climbin’ and all. All nimble like ya are when ya fly.”

The pegasus flushed slightly. “Well, I am pretty agile,” she conceded proudly.

“See? It ain’t so bad. Twilight might want us to kiss-” began the farmer, smiling, until the look on Dash’s face stopped her. “Sugarcube? Y’all okay?”

“Kiss?!”

After a moment, Applejack calmly picked up her hat and got her mane in order, wiping a drop of spittle from her cheek.

“She wants us to kiss? Where does it say that? I don’t see it!” Pressing her face against the manuscript, she stared into the neat black script as if it might reveal the secrets of the local princess to her.

“For landsakes, get a hold of yerself.” Applejack pulled Rainbow Dash away from it. She held the mare by the shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes. “Dash, its called ‘subtext’. Even I know what that is.”

Rainbow Dash stared back, the colour slowly draining from her. Realisation reared its ugly head as she stared into Applejack’s eyes.

“Oh Celestia...she totally wants us to snog!”

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'm really not sure what's better, adorkable evil Twilight (just imagine the Outer Plane devoted to that alignment...) or this. Both are hilarious.

[Nealend86]

Thankfully not canon... Or IS IT!?

[themunck]

6411432
As soon as I can convince Auto to make it so XD