Auto's Authentic Anecdotes

by Autocharth

July Drabble - themunck

[Bloodlines] Twilight is secretly EVIL, but she needs Rarity to make her a proper EVIL sorceress outfit without giving away that she is, in fact, EVIL. (Prompt paraphrased)
Humanised
Non-canon to Bloodlines.

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Rarity raised a skeptical eyebrow, lips pressing tight. Slowly, her gaze rose from the sheet of paper she held to consider the fidgeting woman before her.

“Twilight, darling, I do ever so appreciate everything you’ve done, and I would be loathe to ever imply you might lack anything,” she began, tone hovering somewhere between ‘polite’ and ‘dear gods why’, “but I have to ask...spikes?”

A flush lit Twilight’s cheeks. She cleared her throat. “They’re historically accurate.”

“Hmm…” Rarity looked at the paper.

They were historically accurate, Twilight was sure. Granted, her Tome of Darkness and its delightful revelations - good was futile, ‘evil’ was a delusion held by the weak, minions should be punished for the slightest infraction with acid pits and shark pools - had been enlightening, but it was not what she would term...child friendly. It had been very descriptive, of course. Oh so very descriptive, particularly on the topic of acceptable fashion for a proper Evil Sorceress.

Heat suffused Twilight’s cheeks as she watched Rarity’s eyes drift from the artist’s rendition of Spiked Shoulderpads of Doom to the Corset of Absolute Wickedness.

“This is historically accurate too, is it?” the seamstress asked, that damnably judging eyebrow going up again.

“It is. I checked. I-I can get the reference books, if you want.” She almost bit her tongue, wincing. She couldn’t do that! Why, after seeing the Tome of Darkness and it's very soft pages - made from something any fair skinned human would be...intimately familiar with, having such a substance on, as it were, hand - she’d need to exercise her Dominate Person spell on the artist. She didn’t really want Rarity to see it.

Not yet, at least.

Rarity flashed her a smile, a hint of mischief to it. “No, no, darling, I believe you. After all, there’s no other reason for a lady such as yourself to desire such a delightfully risque ensemble, is there?” she cooed, a giggle almost running off the last word.

“Exactly!” Twilight resisted the urge to take out her handkerchief. Getting fittingly black, skull-embroidered handkerchiefs hadn’t been easy, and she would have hated to use one already. She forced a smile just a shade shy of sinister onto her face. “I think I would really benefit, if I had an accurate recreation. For my research, that is.”

“Your research...obviously.” The pause lingered, along with a faint creasing as Rarity held back a smile. She traced a delicate finger across the sketched figure. “Now, this skirt is very interesting, wouldn’t you say?”

Nodding, Twilight glanced down at the picture. She’d seen it before, yet her cheeks still lit up. ‘St-stay strong! Remember Rule #4: ‘A good Evil Sorceress should be a figure of allure as well as obvious mystical power. Acquire appropriate attire’’

“I love how it shows off your legs. Well, not your legs, darling, but this dashingly dark figure,” continued Rarity, her eyes not leaving Twilight’s face even as she tapped the picture. “Why, just look at how well they go with those stockings. I can’t imagine many women brave enough to wear them together.”

To be fair, it was hard to imagine any woman who wasn’t waiting on a street corner wearing them. The heat grew, and all Twilight got out was a faint sound of agreement as she sought some loophole in her memory. Had the Tome mentioned what to do with embarrassing friends and/or minions?

‘Oh, darn, I don’t have Acid Pit prepared today, or Summon Monster. Wait, I could get a scroll, but how do I get Rarity into a pool?’

“To say nothing of the belt! The skull looks positively inviting. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of men interested in the...history of this little number,” Rarity said, the hysterical edge of laughter badly concealed making her voice tremble. She pressed a hand against her mouth, yet she still watched Twilight with amusement the scholar- *ahem* the dark sorceress could only describe as ‘gleeful’ and ‘as evil as anything in the Tome’. “I-I just need to get your measurements.”

Twilight blinked, and her cheeks cooled a tad. “Y-yeah...uh, Rarity, have you seen my bathroom yet?” She smiled, taking comfort in the bafflement that overcame Rarity’s amusement. “Fancy measuring me in there?”

Now she just needed to find that scroll.

Comments

[Dramon Creator]

I can't tell if Twilight actually evil, or just being a nerd. Kudos to you.